“What is it?” I whisper.
“Here, take a look for yourself.” He passes the binoculars to me. I place the lens to my eyes and watch in sheer amazement. The men have all come to a complete standstill at some apparently random spot, and they appear to be disappearing into the ground! It’s as if an invisible force is sucking them downwards; I’ve never seen anything like it, and I don’t know what to make of it.
“What’s happening?” I ask Cal incredulously.
“I have no idea. I didn’t imagine it then, they were sucked into the ground?” he asks uncertainly.
“Yes, that’s what I saw too.”
“We should get out of here,” I say, afraid that the men will suddenly reappear and discover us.
“What prompted you to take cover?” Cal asks.
“I don’t know. I just felt an overwhelming sense of fear and something compelled me to hide, I can’t explain it,” I tell him honestly, because this has never happened me before.
“Well, whatever it was, I’m grateful. I shudder to think what would’ve happened if they’d caught us in here,” he admits. Then I remember.
“What were you going to say? Just before they appeared,” I ask him.
“Ariana, what I’m about to tell you next, you must promise not to repeat to anyone ever,” he says urgently.
“OK, I promise,” I say. And I’m intrigued.
“There is a resistance movement on Earth plotting to overthrow the government.”
CHAPTER 11
“What?” I say in total shock. “How do you know? What do you know?”
“I have seen some stuff in my father’s room—an intelligence report detailing covert rebel movements in several parts of the country, and identifying some key suspects. I didn’t get to read the complete file, but the information I saw was evidence enough.”
“Was Zane’s name on the report?” I ask in concern.
“I don’t think so, but I can’t be sure—there were a lot of names.”
“And you think my dreams have something to do with this?”
“I don’t know Ariana, maybe I’m just adding two plus two and getting five. But I’m worried at you calling out his name in your sleep, and you’ve already mentioned him to your doctor. If Zane is involved, or you’re recalling supposedly erased memories, then maybe that’s what has piqued the government’s interest in you.”
It seems both fantastical and sensical at the same time. Is he right? Have I, unknowingly, caused all this trouble for us? And if I’m under observation, then they must know about these visits to Strata, and it’s only a matter of time before they do something about it, which means...
“Cal, it’s too risky to continue meeting here.”
“I know,” he says and his misery reflects my own. “We need to conduct damage limitation Ariana, it’s the only way to protect you now. I don’t like it any more than you do, but we can’t meet until we’ve figured out a way to rectify the situation,” he says unhappily. I can’t bear the thought of it and the tears slowly stream down my face.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I know you’re right, but I can’t stop crying, this isn’t like me at all. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me,” I sob.
“I think I do,” he says, “it’s those bloody fertility hormones they’re giving you.” I think he could be right. That’s actually quite comforting, I was beginning to fear that I was losing my sanity in the midst of all this drama.
We decide to ask Eve and Ben if they will help us in delivering secret communications—we need some way of staying in touch—and it’s the only option we can think of. I’m not sure if Eve will play ball, but she’s the only one I can ask.
We both know that we need to leave, the risk of imminent discovery is too high. But we are equally reluctant to depart, unsure of if, or when, we can be together again. We kiss one last time and cling to each other possessively. “Come on, time to go,” I say as I grudgingly break our embrace.
“Ariana, no matter what happens, no matter what you see on the blasted commiboard, know that I only want you. My feelings won’t change,” he says as he hugs me tight.
***
My mom and Lily take turns consoling me, but nothing can stop the flow of tears or the heartache. I fall asleep when I’m eventually all cried out.
I spend all day Sunday, in my bed, utterly disconsolate.
I drag myself up out of the bed the next morning, and while I know that a run will be good for me, I just can’t face it. I might bump into Cal. It would be easier to come to terms with this if it weren’t for the fact that I’ll see him everywhere I go, a constant reminder of my loss. I wish I could crawl back into bed and sleep into oblivion, but that’s not even a slight possibility. I need to put my game face on and show Zolt Rada, and the public, that I’m fine. I’ve never tested my acting skills before, it’s time to find out if I’m any good.
I meet Eve just outside the Velo station in Militia and she can tell by my puffy eyes that I’m devastated. She wordlessly links her arm through mine and gently strokes my hand. I whisper my request for her help in delivering messages from Cal via Ben and she immediately agrees, I feel disloyal for ever doubting her. “Who did they replace on your list?” I ask.
“They replaced Max with Evan,” she says softly.
“Eve, that’s brilliant news, I’m thrilled for you,” I tell her sincerely. She’s grinning from ear to ear and I’m grateful that it’s worked out positively for one of us. I wonder if it’s sheer coincidence, or if Cal’s father influenced the decision.
Today we’re on the gun range for target practice, it’s a part of our training that I excel at; I am becoming quite an accomplished marksman. NSAFTA has a huge arsenal of weapons at their disposal. Each Cadet must qualify with the standard handgun, but we use a variety of weapons in training, including different types of machine gun and assault rifles. We only ever train with target practice cartridges, or dry fire, however, Eve is still terrified that she’s going to injure herself or someone else. Her progress is slow and she’s trailing behind everyone else. I often wonder why Eve chose to pursue a military career, rather than the medical path favored by her parents. While I genuinely relish all the physical activity, Eve seems to shy away from it. She excels on the academic side though and she has a huge passion for learning. She’s a great study partner and I owe her big-time for helping me get through some of the tougher exams. I predict she’ll end up working in the NSAF administration facility, rather than begging for a field assignment like the rest of us.
We are sitting in the canteen, at lunchtime, when I see him. I instantly lose my appetite and push my tray away. I spot him scanning the room for me, and we fleetingly make eye contact before breaking away. I can’t stay here. I tell Eve that I’m going to head over to the convention center early, but decline her offer to join me, I’d rather be on my own. I move hurriedly out of the canteen without glancing in his direction.
I struggle to contain my emotions as I make the journey from Militia to Aqua. It’s not easy, but I try to occupy my mind by figuring out the Zane dreams; I feel that the key to unlocking the truth of our situation lies with identifying exactly who Zane is, and what the dreams are trying to tell me. But it’s like searching for a needle in a haystack, I don’t know where to start.
When I enter my room in the convention center, Fenuka is waiting for me. We spend the afternoon scheduling my dates with the first one pencilled in for this evening. The female suitor is given the option of choosing the date, so I submit a request to go to the cinema, that should be safe enough and involve minimal conversation.
The date is with Ada, whom I know quite well, so it’s a pleasant night. Ada is easy going and he doesn’t question my choice of movie, despite the fact that it’s very violent and aggressive. It proves to be the perfect vehicle for channelling my anger as well as being an effective distraction. We buy coffee in the square afterwards and spend a couple of hours joking and laughing, the lighthearted bante
r helps ease the stress of the last few days. We know each other well enough to agree that we aren’t suited as a couple, and I’m pleased when Ada broaches the subject. He’s a good guy and it would have been plain awkward if he’d requested another date. He is a perfect gent and walks me straight to my door.
I upload my profile page before bed and give Ada a good rating and review. Despite our lack of chemistry, he deserves to be paired with someone nice.
Once I’m in bed all the thoughts I’ve fought so hard to restrict during the day rise to the fore; I try to focus on other things, but it’s no use. My mind keeps wandering back to Cal. I wonder if he’s finding it as hard. Isn’t life strange, I think. Two weeks ago my only thoughts of Cal were ones of annoyance; how quickly he has wormed his way into my heart. Or did I always harbor feelings towards him and just refused to acknowledge them? Thinking about it now, Cal was always around—at the running track, travelling to and from the Academy at the same time as me, in the canteen, at our lockers, we even bumped into each other a few times in the square. It’s as if he was shadowing me. Was he? I don’t know when he first noticed me, romantically.
***
The commiboard displays 2 a.m., I wish I could switch my brain off because I’m so tired. What a pity they hadn’t thought of an On/Off button for the Vita, that would’ve come in nice and handy now. The thought of being able to slip into a mind numbing state, for at least a few hours, is so appealing that I resolve to ask Dr. Victus tomorrow if he will prescribe some sleeping patches that I can administer myself.
My dreams are strangely muted tonight, but the cast of characters is ever-growing: Zane, Cal, Mom, Dad, Eve ... even Ada makes an appearance.
New technical equipment fights for floor space in Zane’s bedroom. He glances around at the new large screens, MFD’s and servers. A framed photo of the two of us adorns his desk. We’re in running gear and have numbers taped to our front. Both of us have medals hanging on ribbons around our necks and we’re each holding a plastic water bottle and grinning ecstatically at the camera. We look exhausted but happy.
I jolt awake. I remember that race! I grab my data-cuff from my bedside locker and pull up the picture file I need. I quickly locate the photo: I’m alone in it. It’s an exact replica of the one I saw in my dream, except for the omission of Zane. So which version is the real one? If Zane is real, how come his face is missing from my copy? Did the authorities alter our digital imagery to remove images of those left behind on Earth? I’ve never heard mention of this before, but it would be logical, I suppose. There isn’t much point in wiping our memories unless recorded memories are erased, as well. I’m sure my father knows, but I’ve no way of communicating with him—we’re not allowed to contact him when he’s on a mission. He usually rings home daily so we know that he’s all right. I think of asking him when he calls next, but then think better of it. I’ll ask him discreetly when he’s back home.
I allow my train of thoughts to continue in the same vein. This could be it! The proof I need; to know that Zane is real. I’ve been so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn’t hear it enter the room, I gladly stick out my arm and moan in relief as the shot the Medicet administers begins to take effect.
***
“Have you seen any of the preets on the portal yet?” Eve asks me the next morning as we walk out of the Velo station.
“No, I barely look at that thing unless I have to. Why?”
“People aren’t happy that you’ve been separated from Cal. It seems your love story really caught the imagination of the public,” she tells me. I’m pretty surprised, it’s not as if we’ve actually been dating that long, so I don’t understand the rationale for such devoted interest. I’m also shocked to hear that people are voicing their dissatisfaction, that’s not the usual Novo way. “Maybe Zolt Rada will change his mind,” she says.
“I doubt it. This is more likely to strengthen his resolve,” I say pitifully. I can’t afford to have any false hope.
Today we have archery practice and self defense and I throw myself into both with gusto; the physical exertion is therapeutic. I have to go to the convention center, on the way to my medical check up, for my first dress fitting. Apparently I need a proper ballgown for the Suitors Ball, which takes place in a few weeks time. I can’t generate any enthusiasm for it, now that I know I won’t be able to attend with Cal. Fenuka won’t let me see my dress so I have to keep my eyes closed while she tucks and gathers and pulls the material this way and that. When I’m changed back into my casual clothes she applies my make-up and gently chastises me for coming out bare faced today; I just can’t summon the interest anymore.
Dr. Victus won’t entertain any notion of allowing me self-medicate, so I’m doomed to many more nights of mental torture. I don’t bother asking him about contraception, there’s no need for that discussion anymore.
I’m not looking forward to my date tonight, it’s with Evan. I had requested another cinema date, given how effectively that worked out the last time, but Fenuka wouldn’t permit it. We need to be varied in our dates, in order to provide the best possible entertainment value. I flippantly suggest paintballing and Fenuka agrees.
Evan collects me from my house and is on a charm offensive with my mother as soon as she opens the door, I can tell that she approves of him. I must remember to tell her that Eve has a crush on him, in case she has designs on choosing him for me. Evan has borrowed his mother’s hovercraft for the evening so we travel in comfort to the venue. I’m very preoccupied with my thoughts, but if he notices he doesn’t say. It doesn’t take long to reach the venue and we head out immediately, as part of a large group. Evan is surprisingly good and equally competitive and we work well together. We high five when our group wins.
Afterwards, he takes me to a Mexican restaurant in the square and we chat easily over our fajitas. He drops me back to my door and I thank him for a lovely night. There’s an awkward moment when I think he’s considering kissing me goodnight, but thankfully he thinks better of it and retracts.
My mom and Lily are watching the screen when I come into the living area and I know that all of Aqua have witnessed my date. “He seems like a nice boy Ariana, you looked like you were enjoying his company.”
“I don’t want to talk about it Mom, I’m going to bed.”
I have just pulled on my nightdress when I hear a soft knock on the door. “Come in.” My mother appears with a cup of hot chocolate and pecan cookie. I gratefully accept them and the accompanying hug. Just then we hear the sound of the front bell. “That’s weird, who could be calling at this hour?” I ask.
“I’ll go and see, you stay here,” she says as she goes downstairs. I’m just pulling on my robe when I hear a scream. I rush downstairs to see what all the commotion is. My mother is on her knees sobbing hysterically. Two Rangers are standing over her, looking decidedly uncomfortable. Panic shoots through every part of my body as I continue forward on shaky feet. I demand an explanation and stare incomprehensively for a few seconds before I feel the tears welling in my eyes.
My father is missing.
CHAPTER 12
My mom is still crying hysterically so I pull the Rangers to one side to find out more. “How is it possible that he’s missing?” I ask in disbelief, thinking of the various ways in which NSAF can track vehicles and people.
“The stealth-craft went off the grid and we lost track of them then,” says the taller Ranger.
“What about his Vita, can’t you track him that way?” I ask.
“Apparently not, Miss.” It’s pretty clear that dumb and dumber don’t know much, and I need to talk to someone of more seniority. I decide to contact my father’s boss tomorrow and see what he knows. I thank the Rangers as I escort them to the door.
Then I notice Lily, standing at the top of the stairs, with silent tears rolling down her face. “How long have you been there?” I ask tenderly.
“Long enough,” she says.
“Look, let’s get Mom up to her room
before the Medicet arrives, can you help me lift her?” I ask. Lily nods and comes down the stairs to help me move her from the sofa. Mom has completely checked out, it pains me severely to see her like this. She had only just turned a corner in her recovery, and her mind is too fragile to cope with this type of stress. We quietly carry her up to her room and I’ve just tucked her in when the Medicet arrives. She is oblivious, so I hold out her arm and the shot is administered. I leave a glass of water by her bed and shut the door.
I sit down beside Lily on the sofa. I don’t try to reassure her because I won’t lie to her. I tell her that I’m going to find out as much as I can tomorrow and that we both need to be strong to help Mom and Deacon get through this. She doesn’t want to sleep alone, neither do I, so we climb into my bed together and I hug her close to me until she falls asleep.
My dreams are extremely fractured and include several variations involving the death of my father. In one, he is strapped on the outside of a stealth-craft as it takes off in the air, his body broken into pieces and scattered over the ground. In another, President Calavero shoots him through the head as he’s on his knees begging for mercy. I wake up sobbing with his screams still loud in my ears. I try to calm myself before I inadvertently wake Lily. The Medicet is there in seconds.
I’m exhausted the next morning, but I drag myself up before rousing Lily and Deacon. I think it’s important to adhere to our regular daily routines; to allow ourselves wallow in the pain wouldn’t be healthy for any of us. Lily and I jointly tell Deacon, he is notably upset but optimistic that he’s fine; I sincerely hope he’s right. I don’t know what to do about Mom. I can’t leave her on her own all day in this state. I consider ringing Dr. Victus for his advice, but I don’t want the officials becoming overly aware of her status, I’m worried they might try and hospitalize her. I know my dad wouldn’t want that. I phone the only other person I can think of who might help: Eve’s mother. I explain the situation to Dr. Zousa and she’s very sympathetic. She agrees to organize a day nurse and says she will personally drive her over to our house. We check in on Mom before leaving, she’s still sleeping soundly; the Medicet must have administered a very strong sedative.
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