by Wynne May
‘I don’t know him very well, but I’ve never liked him - or trusted him, for that matter,’ said Laney. ‘Neither has Pete. We’ve heard rumours about some of his so-called successful business transactions.
Anyway, he proved himself with the nursery business. The restaurant, of course, was his own idea. We hadn’t even thought along those lines.’
‘We?’ Michelle’s mouth had gone suddenly dry. ‘I don’t know about the nursery business, Laney.’
‘It was Lyle’s idea. He wanted to help Pete by buying this place and turning it into a nursery with Pete as nursery manager. This meant we could have gone on living here without any of the financial worries to go along with it. In time to come, when the concern started paying off, we would have had an option on buying it back. But,’ Michelle could almost see Laney shrug, ‘Pete’s pride got in the way and he decided to take the farm off the market and try again - his way. That was when Lyle loaned us the money, to help out. Actually, he didn’t want it back, but we are paying it back, gradually.’
‘Talking about money,’ said Michelle, ‘this call is costing you money.
But I didn’t know.’
‘I haven’t wanted to say too much. You see, I thought you might be in love with Glen Hayes. You’ve been seeing so much of him lately, haven’t you?’
‘Yes,’ Michelle murmured, in a wan voice. ‘I guess I’ve been lonely.’
‘Before you go,’ Laney said quickly, ‘Debbie came to see me this afternoon. She was here when Lyle came to look for you. She’d had a row with Liza Monatti and, in the mood she was in, she told Lyle that Liza’s chief pastime in the office was passing on news which might be of interest to Glen Hayes. She was doing this and suggesting, very subtly, of course, that it was you … But anyway, I’ll talk to you when I see you. Are you perfectly sure you’re all right?’
‘Positive, Goodbye, Laney. Thank you for ringing - and oh, for sending the clothes along.’
‘It was all I could find.’
Lyle was putting on a record when Michelle went back into the lounge and she sensed his sidelong glance, but did not look at him.
She looked around for her glass, realized that she had put it on a small table near the fireplace and went to pick it up. As she took a sip of her drink she heard the sound of glass against teeth and realized she was shivering again.
Lyle straightened up and turned. ‘Well?’ A slight quirk came on his mouth. ‘Did you put Laney’s mind at rest?’
‘Yes, at least, I hope so. Naturally she was worried. She doesn’t like Glen Hayes, she doesn’t trust him and she knows he drinks rather a lot. She hasn’t mentioned much of this to me because she thought I was in love with Glen.’
‘Are you?’ he asked.
‘If you ask me that again - I’ll - I’ll take off!’ she told him in a small, high voice. ‘I’m not in love with him and I never have been in love with him.’
‘Sit down and get warm,’ he said. ‘You don’t look relaxed standing there.’
‘Well, I’m not relaxed, as it so happens.’
‘Why not?’ Their eyes met again.
‘I don’t know the answer.’
‘Well, you could say it’s mutual. I’m not relaxed either, but I know the answer.’
The music was doing nothing to steady her, she thought, but perhaps Lyle had meant it that way. She listened to the words, ‘I wish you shelter from the storm, A cosy fire to keep you warm, But most of all, when snowflakes’ (raindrops? Michelle’s eyes went to the windows) ‘fall, I wish you love …’ A girl with a catch in her voice, singing about love. At the back of everything, Michelle thought, there is always love. Sometimes we don’t - or can’t - admit to it.
Her eyes went back to Lyle’s handsome face. He was swirling his drink round and round in the glass and then, without warning, he lifted his eyes and they met hers, and there was nothing casual about the suddenly lifted lashes. His eyes did not leave her face and then she demanded, “Why didn’t you tell me? About the nursery scheme, with Pete as nursery manager?’
He was silent for a long moment. ‘I didn’t tell you for the simple reason that Pete wasn’t interested in the scheme and that it fizzled out.’
‘Nevertheless, you could have told me,’ her voice was accusing. ‘You went as far as to mention that you wanted to buy land, that you intended growing vegetables to meet the hotel’s requirements. You wanted to deep-freeze them, you said. You didn’t say it was Pete’s land you wanted. Was the deep-freezing story just a blind?’
‘No, it wasn’t just a blind. I meant what I said. I was mainly concerned with flowers, however, and to supply as many florists as possible, delivery to take place by light aircraft.’
‘You could have told me,’ she said again. ‘I’ve - I’ve been resenting you ever since I found out it was Pete’s farm you were interested in.
I’d heard you were trying to buy Pete and Laney out. I didn’t know these things. I had to guess.’
‘And guessing can be a dangerous thing.’ He gave her a level look.
‘I’ve found that out for myself.’
‘Laney has just told me on the phone. I knew you’d lent them money and it all seemed to work in, somehow.’
He looked puzzled. ‘How do you mean - work in?’
‘It seemed to work in with your plan in trying to get them even more deeply involved financially, so that in the end they would owe so much money to so many people, including you, they wouldn’t know which way to turn and would have to sell. Anyway,’ her voice was stilted, ‘I misjudged you. I’m sorry.’
Reflections from the dancing fire dappled her honey-bronzed skin and turned the amber beads on her trouser-suit crimson.
‘Is that important?’ he asked.
‘Yes. It is to me, anyway.’
Over their glasses their eyes met and held.
Then he said, ‘You misjudged me. I misjudged you. What are we going to do about it? Kiss and make up?’ He appeared mockingly serene, but Michelle could sense the tension in him.
‘You make it sound like a joke,’ she said.
‘Well, isn’t it?’
In despair she turned away from him. ‘No, it isn’t. This whole thing has gone beyond a joke. There’s much more to it than that.’
‘I’d like to take you up on that, Michelle.’ He spoke softly. ‘It’s my intention to try and clear things up between us, actually. In the first place, I owe you an apology. I found myself listening to rumours which seemed to fall into pattern. I’m sorry.’
‘In other words, you listened to what Liza had to say about me?’
‘Yes.’
‘That’s understandable, I suppose.’
‘Why is it understandable?’
‘Weil, you’re in love with her. However, none of her stories were true. I’ve never discussed the private matters of the hotel, or your intention of buying land to deep-freeze, with Glen Hayes. He was just somebody to go out with, when I found myself brooding.’
‘What do you brood about?’
‘That happens to be my own business.’
‘Michelle,’ she heard him take a deep breath, ‘let me put you in the picture about Liza. You know that old tune, “Just someone to dance with because I’m a little on the lonely side.” Something like that?’
‘No, I don’t.’
‘Well, I’m telling you about it. Apart from the fact that Liza works at the hotel, that’s all it ever amounted to. She’s always known this and there’ve never been any tangled emotions, not so far as I was concerned, anyway. Any interest on Liza’s part didn’t fall into the category of love. I continued to ask Liza to go out with me and I’m afraid I’ve never stopped to question the wisdom of this. To convince you of my feelings towards Liza is important to me - just as it was important for me to learn of your feelings towards Glen Hayes.’
Unable to bear the tension a minute longer, Michelle demanded,
‘Why? You - you don’t have to say these things. After all, it’s none of my
business. The only thing which does concern me is the fact that she spread false rumours about me. I also happen to be sorry I misjudged your friendship, so far as Pete and Laney are concerned. I can see now that you’re a very real friend to them. It nearly drove me mad, though, to think you were,’ she corrected herself, ‘might have been scheming against them. I longed to tell them what I believed to be true. I longed to be able to smash the so-called friendship between you. I didn’t realize that you were in fact trying to help them. Very generously so, too, I can see that. Anyway, I’m going back to England soon,’ she added on the spur of the moment, ‘so I’m glad to have cleared up this humiliating situation.’
The girl on the record was singing. Her words filled the room, which was very still. ‘I’ll set you free…’
Somewhere in the house the fragile chimes of a clock broke the stillness.
‘Going back?’ Lyle’s voice showed surprise.
‘Yes.’ Now that she had said it she felt calm.
‘When did you make up your mind?’
There was no retreat. ‘Now.’
‘Hold it - let’s get this straight. Now, Michelle?’
‘Yes.’ She tried to make her voice sound careless.
Why does there have to be heartbreaking music playing at a time like this? she thought. Those indolent piano notes, the girl, with a catch in her voice, singing, the music turned on, just audible over the wild beating of her heart.
‘You said, at the beginning,’ said Lyle, above the music, ‘that it depended on whether you liked South Africa and - other reasons.’
‘I believe I might have said something like this.’ Michelle began to walk about the room, her bare feet sinking into the thick carpet.
‘You did say it. You don’t like South Africa?’ His eyes challenged her to agree with him.
On the turntable the record was going round and round, ‘For all we know, we may never meet again.’ Michelle could visualize the girl singing, blonde, husky-voiced, exciting …
‘I like it well enough, but I - let’s just say I have reservations.
Anyway, it’s ridiculous to talk like this. I’ve seen nothing of South Africa. I’ve seen the Pass, of course.’ Her voice was bitter. ‘Twice, actually, and I guess that’s something. The first trip, with you, was also a disaster, but at least you were one of those experienced drivers I have just read about. I can see that now. I’d like you to know that I think your driving was superb. Glen Hayes will never make one of those drivers.’ She took an impatient breath and shook back her hair.
‘Besides, that isn’t the point.’
‘What is the point?’
‘I like the country,’ she said, in a flat voice. ‘What I’ve seen of it. I like the people - most of them, anyway.’
Lyle came and took her glass and she watched him fixing new drinks, then he came back to her. ‘It’s not strong,’ he told her when she shook her head.
‘I don’t care,’ she said, in a small voice. ‘I don’t want it.’
Without saying anything he took their glasses down to the conversation pit and placed them on the table. He looked up at her.
‘Come and sit here. Curl up amongst the cushions and get warm.
They might have been put there as ornaments for the film, but so far as I’m concerned, they’re there to be used.’
‘No!’ Her voice was sharp. ‘I don’t want to sit there, thank you.’ Her eyes went to the cushions which at night looked like little gems of emerald, shocking pink, turquoise, orange and purple.
What was she like, the girl who was singing with the emotionally husky voice? ‘We come and go like a ripple on a stream, So love me tonight, tomorrow was made for some, tomorrow may never come -
for all we know…’
Lyle turned. ‘Why? It’s very comfortable down here. You can feel the warmth of the fire. Are you afraid, Michelle?’
‘Yes, I am.’
‘Why?’
‘Because it’s like a - a harem down there with all those cushions, those big green leaves.’ Her eyes went to the indoor garden. ‘I don’t want any part of it.’
A slight quirk came on his mouth, but his voice was abrupt, ‘I didn’t plan it this way. It just happened. I’ve never bothered to have it changed. Besides, I’m only renting it - until I get married, that is.
Maybe I’ll buy it then. If she likes it.’ He gave her a long, direct look.
Michelle felt as though she had fallen headfirst through a trapdoor.
Suddenly she was aware of the dangerous balance between them.
Part of her refused to accept what was happening. There was a tiny gasp on her part, then their eyes were meeting slowly, locking. ‘Why go on like this, Michelle?’ Lyle’s voice was impatient. ‘This is foolishness. I love you - surely you know that? Why do you think I brought you here? We’ve wasted enough time, and you know it.’
The record on the turntable was coming to an end.
‘And so the story ends,
Why not call it a day
and end it the sensible way…’
Michelle felt a great surge of wild happiness as she watched him leave the conversation area, then he came towards her and placed his hands lightly on her shoulders. For a moment his eyes searched hers and his fingers tightened before he drew her to him.
When he stopped kissing her he said, ‘You’ve never even used my name, do you know that?’
‘I…’ she broke off, ‘I tried… You didn’t seem to,’ she shrugged and smiled, ‘you know - need that.’
‘What I need, Michelle, is you. I love you.’
Because she was shy, she kept him waiting, then she said, ‘I love you too, Lyle. Did you play that record on purpose, by the way?’
He smiled suddenly, devastatingly. ‘Yes, I think you could say that.’
The rain, driven by the wind, pelted the window panes. On top of the Pass it would be lashing the mountains. The wind would be blowing coldly across the slopes and trying to get to the peaks beneath the clouds.
Remembering, Michelle shivered against Lyle. Behind them the logs crackled and fell with a shower of poinsettia-red sparks.