by Kenna Bardot
"Yes, yes. They're happy now. Sadly, they are no longer together as the five you know of, speak of and remember so fondly. In time, some of them have moved on. Made Declarations and became Sires in their own right. Demiorgo approves of them now." She nodded even as she pulled a long jacket on of a light gray wool.
"And that's it? You're happy that they're married?" I felt my hand shaking because this Mireyah disgusted me. She was so changed, so much like everyone else that I could feel like I preferred the Tovenaar. For all that she was dark and broken, she understood it.
“I can’t be anything else, can I?” Her look was bewildered as she shook her head at me. Like I was the one who made no sense in that scenario.
"Well then, I hope you continue to be happy in your rather boring, placid life." I gave her a sharp bow and felt myself tumble into space. Like an idiot, I fell on my head and bumped it, which caused a sharp pain at the top of my head.
I heard a shout in the distance first before I saw anything but the legs of roughly hewn wooden furniture. Given my vantage point, it really wasn't very surprising that that was all I could see. Rubbing the top of my head, sore from bumping headfirst into the ground, I struggled to my feet and looked at my surroundings.
That’s when I saw that I hadn’t been alone in the room.
"Hello. Well, you're a sight for sore eyes, aren't you?" This me was friendly, her aura far removed from mortality, but she was no God. I knew that to be certain. Her hair was dark, an almost murky blue or dark gray. It was not as dark as the very first me had been, but it was perfectly suited to blending in with the shadows that seemed to permeate every corner of the space we were in.
But jarring as that was, it was the eyes that were more startling. They were bright and shaped, not like a human's were, but more of an animal. Much like an animal who could see well in the dark, I did not doubt that this Mireyah had spectacular night vision.
"Hi. This is surprising, I suppose." I kept looking and looking because everything was dark. My initial thought had not been wrong. It was definitely more of a shadow, a starkly dark contrast to the previous house.
"Welcome to the Land of the Unwanted.” She raised her arms in a welcoming gesture, and I widened my eyes at her.
“Oh, come on Mireyah Sylfe, don't look at me like that. Sure, it’s not Demiorgo, but it definitely has a worse reputation than what it truly is. I won’t deny that the monsters are dangerous, the other creatures vicious and they want nothing more than to feast on the delectable flesh of those still in their humanoid forms. But it’s not boring. In fact, I would call it quite interesting. I have friends here. Oh, there are familiar faces. Yes, very familiar, but I won't spoil that for you. You need to see it for yourself should you reach this point." She waved a hand in dismissal. "I talk too much. How's Sylfe life treating you?"
I raised an eyebrow at her. "I’d have imagined that becoming an Unwanted would break you, me. But it didn’t, did it? In fact, I might feel worse now as a Sylfe. Sylfe life is treating me well enough, but you know that. And you know why I’m here.”
She nodded and regarded me with a deep look. When she said nothing, I continued, “Don't you think about the potential of the life of a God you had to leave behind? How about the men that you loved and had to leave? Don't you miss them?"
She broke her gaze on me as she shrugged. "Sure, I do. But it wasn't meant to be, being with them. We had everything going against us, and we recognized that early on. And rather than risk being stuck with Ashric or Lathyn for the rest of my life, I much preferred giving up and just hanging around for this."
I nodded, perfectly understanding her logic. "Yes, yes. So basically you elected to apply the Lysandra philosophy?"
"Harsh but true." She shrugged even as she leaned against a tall dark wardrobe.
I held a hand over my heart. "You don't miss them so much it feels like your heart's been ripped out of your chest?"
"Well, that's what it felt like at the start but that was ages ago. It's all good now. I've seen the benefit of coming here, of being this." She twirled around with her arms out and defied the surroundings she found herself in by giving off a bright light.
"I'm happy for you. Thrilled for you." But my heart broke for her. For everything that she had so happily lost.
When my world melted around me again, I braced myself and wondered, but for a moment, when the entire ordeal would end. I opened my eyes and for the first time that day; I saw that I was not inside a room but in the middle of a field that was thawing from snow to spring.
I took a deep breath to cleanse what I was feeling, and I was happy enough to note that the tension drained from me in my familiar surroundings. I turned around and saw the platinum hair first. I cursed to myself inwardly because the last person I had wanted to see was human Mireyah.
Even if I'd triumphed over her the last time, there was no telling what she could have in store for me. The light of the sun bounced off the white of the snow as the woman turned toward me. As she walked nearer me, feet plowing through the fields. I narrowed my eyes to shield myself from the brightness. I didn’t step away. It was best to get it over with.
She stopped in front of me and only then did I see her eyes. They weren't as mine had been when I'd been in Wintercairn. No, they were instead white. A bright white that I could not help but smile at.
"Queen."
She cocked her head at me. "Oh, yes. The others weren't thrilled when I took Charolais' colors. But they're happy that I am Bonded to them, Sired by them, yes. And nothing makes me happier." She displayed her left arm for me to see happy to show me the marks our men had placed there.
"And you are okay being a God through all that?" I asked as I reached over to touch her arm. I stopped just a hair before I did, my hand instead whipping up to touch the adornment on my left ear.
The eyes turned sad even as the smile did not dim. "Well, that's something I had to live with. And a decision you'd eventually have to make too. I can only hope you can live with it as well should it be the path you find yourself in.”
“Yes.” I nodded, “I hope so too.”
My world melted, and I was again back in the room in Sylfeshire with Caprice before me.
"Yes, yes. That was a good exercise, wasn't it?" I looked up at Caprice's face, wrinkled and a little sad, a little angry and a little insane. It was the look that I felt best fit her.
"Exercise? It was rather crazy, I would say. I never understand what you want me to do, Caprice. How you want me to feel." I huffed out a breath as I stood up from my position on the floor.
"It served you well. So I'm happy enough to tell you we'll continue on in this journey. Do you think those you spoke to were me?" She shook her head even as her tears fell. "Oh no. They were you and you told me pretty well what it was you wanted to do and wanted to be."
And I knew, looking at her face, she hadn't been lying.
Chapter 26
Ryle
Walking into the next Trial felt like a different experience when we came off the heels of a loss.
I felt responsible for it, given that the fighting should have been one of my strengths. I was one of us more likely to get angry in the face of battle.
My strength should have been more helpful, but I'd been too concerned with the others. Too overwhelmed by the scenario to truly be useful, to compensate for Hollis' hatred of fighting and for Tate's injury, especially when I took into account my fear for my twin. The worst of it was the knowledge that I'd failed Mireyah, that because of my inadequacy she'd been forced to spend time with Ashric Tovenaar.
Char had eventually dealt with him, but we’d still punished Mireyah. And it had been through my fault.
Because that alone should have been enough to allow me to triumph over him, the knowledge of what might happen if we lost. But we'd failed her and each other.
I felt ready to fight, ready to take back the honor I'd lost in that failure, but the interior setting of the Trial didn't sit well with me. If it too
k place inside Colm Svadeni’s precious Sylfeshire, the likelihood of fighting was very slim.
In fact, I felt certain there would be no violence that day, that the Trial we needed to undergo would be different.
Unease slithered up my spine as Colm and Caprice guided Mireyah into the room. As stunning as she looked as a Sylfe with her delicate fabrics and pink hair, I missed the white blond of the Mireyah I’d first fallen for. Yearned to once again see those steely grey eyes that had drawn me to her at first, the eyes that glinted with defiance anytime someone handed her a challenge and told her she couldn't do it.
She always did. She always succeeded.
And we hadn't been able to do the same for her.
They went to the group of three chairs on one side of the room, in front of where Anselm, Zeevar and Rhiannon already sat.
They were always there, always found the time to be, even when they never spoke up, said nothing.
Mother Caprice bowed to her fellow Core Gods before she and Mireyah took their seats gracefully. Colm went to the second door of the room, stopping in front of it ominously. A glance at the Tovenaar confirmed his gaze was fixed on Mireyah, on our woman intending to unnerve her.
But ever the strongest person I knew, Mireyah ignored him pointedly, giving no sign that she was even aware of his presence. Her eyes found mine, and she smiled at me reassuringly. But there was a doubt that lingered there that hadn't existed in the first or second Trials. She'd thought us invincible, thought with there being five of us we could overcome the others and win the right to Sire her.
Who could blame her? We'd thought ourselves invincible too, and we hadn't considered that the greater number of us might be the hindrance it had proven to be. We all had weaknesses, and because of the way we competed, the weakness of one became the weakness of all. We dragged each other down rather than lifting each other up.
Her eyes darted to each of the others, doing her best to give them a serene smile, but I knew the moment she connected eyes with the royal blue gaze of Lathyn Majele. She stilled, and I saw in his face the same thing I'd seen when he’d arrived in Sylfeshire for today’s Trial.
Determination.
He wouldn't lie down and accept another loss. His reputation was on the line just as much as Mireyah's Sire Bond. If he wanted a real chance at winning her, he would need to win at least one of the two remaining tests. Both would be better.
And I was determined to make sure that didn't happen. I was confident that the Core Gods would never give Mireyah to Ashric when it was plain how much that union would be a mistake. However, Lathyn was another story.
Even I understood that being Sired by the great Lathyn Majele would be an honor for Mireyah.
Caprice stood from her chair, seeming to determine that the suspense had lasted long enough. "Today, you will face a different Trial. You have shown us your skills in the arena, your strength and your ability to master your particular abilities, and shown yourselves to be worthy of becoming Sires."
She paused and regarded us as her hand dropped to Mireyah's shoulder in something that almost felt akin to affection, but the way Mireyah tensed beneath her touch told me it wasn't a sign of a friendship between them. "Mireyah has proven herself worthy yet again, passing her Final Judgement with me. Now, you must prove you are worthy of her. Not just worthy of a nameless Sylfe in theory, but show what wonderful Sires you could be to Mireyah as an individual. It will take a strong Sire to match the fire and verve that flows through her."
She nodded to Colm, and he pushed the door open. Through it walked four Goddesses: a Kald, a Sutre, a Springen, and a Leven.
"Given the unusual nature of Mireyah's Declarations, we could not choose a representative from the West as all the Western houses are competing today. As such, we have substituted with two representatives from the South, our Springen taking the place of the Western houses today. These Goddesses before you are all wives, women who have Ascended to Goddess from Sylfe. Women who have been in Mireyah's shoes in their lives. They will interview you, ask you questions about your intentions and knowledge of what your lives might be once you become Sires." Caprice smiled, taking a seat as the Goddesses each took their seats at the front of the room.
She nodded at them and in a soft voice gave her command, “Let’s begin.”
And I swallowed my hesitation as we all turned to face the wives who held our fates in their hands.
From the stern expressions on their faces, this couldn't be good.
✽✽✽
Mireyah
I shifted in my seat, wondering what the catch was. There was no way a bunch of wives came to ask questions. After the intensity of the first Trials, after the internal pain I had to suffer through on my own, a simple question-and-answer session felt anti-climactic.
"Lathyn Majele," the Leven stood to address him. He stepped forward, smiling that polite and charming smile that I was certain served him well in politics. "Do you intend to breed your wife immediately?" she asked, drawing a ragged gasp from me. All eyes turned my way, and I wanted to sink into my seat. Colm touched my hand, silently warning me to keep quiet.
Breed me?
I huffed out a breath but tried to keep it as silent as possible. When did I become a fucking horse?
"Perhaps not immediately, I'll admit," he surprised me by responding. His eyes held mine briefly before he turned back to the wives. "I believe that children should be welcomed into a stable home. As much as I deeply desire to start a family with Mireyah, she will undergo a very difficult transition from Sylfe to Goddess. I think it only prudent that I give her some time to settle before we add a child to the mix." From the way the Leven nodded, I knew the answer had pleased them.
The Springen stood to ask a follow-up question. "And how long would you allow her to adjust? I am sure you're aware of the difficulties with conception."
"A year at most, I would guess. If she were anyone else, I might be so inclined to to permit longer, but Mireyah adjusts quickly. I think she'll need longer to adjust to being married than she will being a Goddess. After all, she's always been a Goddess in my eyes." He turned toward me, a stunning smile taking command of his face. I didn't miss the way a couple of the wives seemed to melt at his words or the way he so easily charmed them to believe we had some beautiful love story.
I wanted nothing more than to demand that if I was such a Goddess to him, if our life would be so great, then why would I need time to adjust to being his wife?
But I could not interfere.
"Tate Nastroj," the Kald said, standing as her counterpart took her seat. Tate stepped forward, and Lathyn stepped back with a self-satisfied smirk. "You're young yourself. What makes you think you're ready to be a father?"
Tate smiled, the white of his teeth gleaming against his olive skin. "I know I am ready to be a father, so long as the mother of my child is Mireyah."
"It is exclusive to her?" The Kald's eyebrows raised, and I tensed at the look in her eyes as she stared him down.
The smile slipped from his face momentarily, but he quickly compensated with another one that trembled at the edges. "It is. I would like my child to come into a home full of love. My feelings for Mireyah and her feelings for me would promise to provide a child with a warm and nurturing environment." She nodded thoughtfully, sitting back down so that the Sutre could stand.
"Charolais Vide," she said, and Char gave a shallow bow before stepping forward. "I am confused about your relationship. Tate Nastroj claims that he loves Mireyah, and she loves him, where does that leave you?"
"We all love Mireyah," he explained, and I wanted to curse him for not bothering to charm any of them. No smile, none of that softer side that I knew existed inside him.
"And she returns these feelings?" the Sutre glanced towards me, and I nodded subtly. Caprice glared at me out of the corner of my eye, but there was a slight uptick to her lips like she also couldn't help but be amused. Always breaking rules, I was. "What do you say to the accusations that y
ou are all engaged in relationships amongst yourselves as well?"
Char stilled, and I could feel shock reverberate through all the Gods in the center of the room. Lathyn looked over his shoulder to give me wide eyes, studying me for a reaction. I knew he must be looking for shock, but I steadied myself and held his gaze. They would not make me feel guilty for something that brought us nothing but joy. For something that brought us all closer together.
"I would remind you that lying in a test can have very serious consequences if we determine your answer to be untrue," Caprice reminded him, but there was no venom in her voice as she spoke the words. At my side, even Colm had furrowed his brow as he studied the men, as he watched the way they didn't move to deny it in outrage.
"They are true," Char said through lips that were barely parted.
The Sutre's lips parted in shock, but she nodded and sat back in her chair. She shared a look with the Springen beside her before she stood again, "Ashric Tovenaar," she said, and he stepped forward. He'd tamed his malicious glint as he looked at them, seeming neutral. I doubted him to be capable of politeness and outright charm, so the neutral look on his face was likely the best he could hope for. "Have you known many children since you Ascended?"
Ashric nodded, "I am fortunate enough that a child was born to my house only shortly after I Ascended," he said. "I regret that before that my experience was limited to Godsvail, but I've come to enjoy watching my distant cousin grow."
The Springen seemed pleased despite his cool demeanor. As a Tovenaar, she probably expected very little from him. "And how soon would you want to see Mireyah with child?"
"Immediately," he answered, making me tense in my seat. My jaw clenched, and I felt the Springen's eyes rest on me before returning to Ashric. "Children are a gift that do not come to us often. I would not want to waste time when we could strive for such a blessing."
The Springen smiled at him before sitting, and the Leven rose again. I wondered if they'd coordinated their questions, or if they just asked them randomly. Wondered if responses could prompt the next question or if they were predetermined. While they had said nothing against Char's declaration that they were together just as they were with me, I knew it wouldn't earn them bonus points. They'd professed the fact that the information could be used against them before, and it seemed like the time had come for that to happen.