by Neil LaBute
Betty What the hell am I supposed to get outta that story? Huh?
Bobby I think it’s pretty obvious …
Betty Not to me, Bobby. Honestly.
Bobby Yeah, because you’ve got no sense of fucking morality, sis. That’s the trouble.
Betty OK, this is getting a little too …
Bobby I’m serious!
Betty Just stop now, OK? Stop. I get it.
Bobby No, I don’t think you do, no, and here is why: ’cause you keep-on-doing-it.
Betty What?
Bobby You keep going out there and having more and more adultery.
Betty Bobby, just … and that’s not even a word. Not the way you use it …
Bobby Bullshit, is too! Yes! ‘Adultery’.
Betty It’s not! And I’m just … Stop it! STOP!!
Bobby We can stop – let’s pick up your precious files and I’ll be on my fucking way. Get away from your little house of filth …
Betty You’re not here because of files, OK?! That’s obvious, so just … stop. Please.
Bobby Then why? Huh? Why am I here?
Betty Because …
Bobby Yeah, go on …
Betty Because I wanted somebody around while I did this, went through all of it – You’re right, I obviously couldn’t have Bruce do it, no. So, who else? All I got is you … like it or not, we’re family. We’re stuck with each other.
Bobby Ha! Too bad you don’t have any friends …
Betty I know.
Bobby I was kidding.
Betty No, it’s kind of true. I’m … Women don’t like me usually – as friends, co-workers, that sort of thing. Some women are just like that. I do better around men – and I mean just as acquaintances.
Bobby Right.
Betty Women seem threatened by me.
Bobby Maybe because you fuck most of their men. That gets annoying after a while …
Betty That’s not true!
Bobby Pretty much.
Betty I do not! When I was younger, yes, I was a bit … wild, or … I don’t know. On the prowl. But that stopped years ago … I’ve been whatever, but I did try. Got my head on straight after college and I tried for a while there, to make my marriage work and all that. (Beat.) I really did …
Bobby Except for this new guy. Your second-year senior.
Betty Yes, that’s true. He’s different …
Bobby I doubt it.
Betty And what’s that mean?
Bobby Look me in the eye – tell me he’s the only one since you’ve been with Bruce. (Beat.) Seriously. Try and tell me that …
Betty Bobby, no … I’m not gonna …
Bobby Say it. You tell me and I’ll believe you.
Betty This is not the … I’m …
Bobby walks over and stands in front of his sister. Waits for her to say something. Faces inches apart. He puts his finger against her chest, pushing her. Again. And again.
Bobby Say it. Go on, say it. SAY IT. SAY IT!
Betty STOP! (Beat.) Alright, yes. He’s a … This was something else. Something wonderful.
Bobby Ha! Bullshit. Bull-fucking-shit – the lies you tell yourself to get by! Fuck, you’re amazing!
Betty I’m not lying …
Bobby Fuck you’re not –
Betty I’m not!
Bobby Yes, you are! Yes!
Betty IT’S NOT A LIE! IT ISN’T, BOBBY!! NO!!
Betty explodes and smacks Bobby on the cheek. Hard. This stops him cold.
A moment of dead silence passes between them.
Bobby … Fine.
Betty Fuck. Sorry. (Beat.) Look, you don’t know him, OK? He’s … so funny and just, well, really sweet. Very smart and yet not all – he’s just a very special person.
Bobby I’ll bet.
Betty He is!! Jesus, can’t you … I mean, try and respect me at least, if nothing else?
Bobby Why? (Beat.) I mean, why start now?
Bobby waits for her to respond but she doesn’t. Silence.
I’m not gonna lie here – I don’t at all respect you, what you’ve done with your life or, or career, and certainly not the way you run around with your pants down. (Beat.) You’ve always been like that and people talk about it behind your back and it makes me sick. Like, physically sick. (Beat.) Why do I need to pretend I like that or respect you? I am not gonna. No.
Betty Then fine. Just go. I can finish this by myself … I’m tired now, so …
Bobby Fine. (Tosses money back at her.) Doesn’t matter to me.
Betty Good. Thanks for nothing.
Bobby Hey, hey, thank your own fucking self, you bitch … Shit! Don’t blame a single thing on me here. You got that? NOTHING. You’re the one who’s done this … brought all of this down on your own head.
Betty Whatever …
Bobby You’re goddam right, ‘whatever’. (Beat.) I can’t help it that not even a length of chain could keep those fucking thighs of yours closed. The first whiff of cock and they part like the goddam Red Sea, so do not point a finger at me! OK?!
Betty You’re sick.
Bobby I may be sick – I might also be the only guy in a three-town radius that you haven’t fucked, so that’s something – ’cept Bruce, of course.
Betty JUST GO!
Bobby I am, you bitch! Shut your goddam mouth!
Betty Get out, you fucker! You fucking … AAAH!!
Bobby holds his ground, pounding home his message.
Bobby Call me whatever you want – point is, you know I’m not lying. You’ve brought a lot of guys to their knees with that smile of yours … over the years …
Betty Bobby …
Bobby Don’t say that you haven’t. (Beat.) You’re just adding to the collection with a new guy. Teacher, student, it’s all the same to you. Right?
Betty Let’s not … I really don’t have time for this now. All your … foul …
Bobby Yeah, why think about the past? You sure as hell don’t learn from it, so …
Betty Oh, stop! Please! Just … just don’t. This is the kind of shit Dad would do to me … piss me off by bringing up all the things I’d done and rub my nose in it!
Bobby Hey … I’m sorry you got involved with a married man once upon a time! I’m very sorry. Wasn’t a fairy tale with a happy ending, though, was it? You two didn’t ride off into the sunset or anything even close to that. (Beat.) Not that you cared.
Betty … Please stop … please …
Bobby Don’t cry now, sis, ’cause you didn’t do shit about it at the time and I know that to be a fact. Back when you could’ve done a thing or two, spared this guy his fucking dignity, at least, you did nothing … turned your thumb down like a Roman senator and sent the poor son-of-a-bitch to his grave … (Beat.) You fucked that guy – Mr Freeman or whatever his name was – you were dicking around with him at seventeen and got him booted out of his job at the high school. That’s not just hearsay … those are cold, hard facts. You wouldn’t listen to Dad and that’s what it got you.
Betty I know.
Bobby You were a fucking skank and you let a man throw himself on his fucking sword for you and what’d you do about it? Huh? WHAT?
Betty You know what! Say it if you need to … GO AHEAD. (Beat.) He was an adult, by the way. Alright? Just so you …
Bobby He threw his family away, ‘by the way’! His kids and every chance he had for a normal sort of life. Kids I used to play with, work that he planned his whole life for … and you let him!! Let him blab to his friends about it and think you guys would be going to Vegas and that whole deal. The guy wanted to marry you … Can you even imagine what must’ve been going through that head of his?! The fucking delusions he was living off of … and all because of you. Because of the way some teenager was sucking his cock. (Beat.) We all knew you hated us – Dad and Mom and me – we figured that part out, but you didn’t have to take it out on the whole goddam world. You coulda let that guy go and he maybe woulda limped on back home to his family in the end,
maybe even kept his job – but instead you ground him down, let him come off like some fucking jackass in front of everybody and … God, it was just ugly and pathetic and, like, sad in the end. I don’t know if you’ve just … maybe blocked it out or not, but shit, Betty, I will never forget what that dude was like the last time I saw him. You know? He was a fucking ghost. That is what you did by living free and easy and not having time to let your parents tell you one goddam thing about life. Nope, you knew everything and just couldn’t be bothered in those days … so that’s what you did. You destroyed a whole person … and I’m not sure he’s ever bounced back from that. There’s every chance he didn’t … (Beat.) I dunno what happened to any of ’em, him or that mousey wife of his or, or any of those three kids. I never saw them again after that summer, but I did happen to be on the street when she drove ’em away … I was there on my bike as they passed me. She was looking straight ahead and that girl of theirs … I forget her name now …
Betty Ellie. His daughter’s name was Ellie.
Bobby Huh. Look at that – good for you.
Betty Go on … tell me …
Bobby Ellie was looking out the window and she was staring at me. Not accusing or, or, like angry or anything, but just a look of, like, despair or something. Of having had to grow up, straight up into being an adult, over the course of those few weeks or months or whatever. It was like it was her but also her as an adult, looking out at me. Yeah. (Beat.) It was spooky …
Bobby and Betty stand still for a moment – a cellphone rings at that moment, breaking the tension. Lightning strikes.
Betty goes to her purse, sighs, then answers.
Betty … Hey, honey. Yes. Uh-huh. No, I know … I know it’s getting late. No, they don’t need to stay up and see me, I’ll get ’em up in the morning and ready for school … It’s fine. I know. Yes. What? I’m almost done, I’m just … (Looks at Bobby.) No, I just want to finish up these few notes on the bibliography and then I’ll, yes … be home after that. Right. Oh, well, no, I’m not at my desk, that’s why … no, I’m over at the … Can I please just … no, I’ve gone over to the student union building for a cup of coffee. Yeah. Sorry. Don’t worry, it’s whatever. You don’t have to … this whole thing is, fine. I thought we were not gonna do this to each other. All the questions and, and … then OK. I’m getting a coffee and I’ll be back there and I’ll finish up. Then home. Alright? (Beat.) Do what? When? Bobby called you earlier … Oh. I wonder what about? Hmm. OK, yeah, no, I will. (She turns to Bobby again.) Well, if he hung up then it was probably a mistake. Yeah. OK. Yes, I’ll tell ‘that fucking loser’ not to call you for any reason when I see him. Alright. G’night. Yeah, I’ll be careful … yeah, I can see that it’s wet. Yes. Bye.
She clicks off her phone and returns it to her purse.
Bobby Charming …
Betty Yep.
Bobby What a fucking asshole …
Betty I’m sure you did something to earn it. I mean, in his eyes …
Bobby Whatever. Guy feels that way about me and he’s got no idea about the woman that he shares his wedding bed with … pretty fucking typical. Ha!
Betty Doesn’t matter.
Bobby Yeah, to you maybe.
Betty Just let it go. You can never let things go …
Bobby Can, too.
Betty Hardly …
Bobby Fine. Fuck if I care.
Betty And we’re not sharing anything much any more. Certainly not the wedding bed.
Bobby Yeah, you say that, but how the fuck do I know what you’re doing?
Betty You heard me talking to him, didn’t you?
Bobby So what? You sound like a million other married couples …
Betty Really?
Bobby Pretty much. Together but, you know … just barely. Everybody sounds like they’d rather be with somebody else these days.
Betty I don’t even know what to say to you …
Bobby I’m not saying you guys aren’t … But you just stand there and lie to him. Just as easy as breathing. ‘Coffee’ and ‘over at the student union’ like it doesn’t matter to you, like the truth is just something that happens once in a while, like one of those comets that flies by every hundred years! (Illustrates.) Whoosh! I mean, God, don’t you even wanna try any more? Fuck …
Betty You’re here with me right now … you know what I’m dealing with. How do you figure I’m gonna start telling the truth right now? Hmm? How?
Bobby You gotta start some time! You have to, I dunno, just fight your way out of the … thicket of lies you weave and … just …
Betty Yeah? OK, here. Truth is I’ve had a few flings over the years … Men at work or people from … doesn’t matter. Guys. I’m quite sure – no, in fact I know – Bruce has done the same thing, how long or how many I’m not certain but before me. So there.
Bobby Bruce? No … that pussy? I don’t believe it.
Betty Yeah. ’Fraid so. (Beat.) Yes.
Bobby Jesus … I’d’ve never … wow.
Betty First one I found out on my own, I was six months pregnant. I was trying, too, wanted to be his model bride and to put my earlier days behind me – not so easy living in the same town – but I was now a college graduate and a teacher and had even gotten married and had a kid. Just like they tell you to do, in stories and on the TV. And he was sleeping with his secretary. Just like they tell men to do, in stories and on the TV. (Smiles.) That was how it started up again … me paying him back, even while I was carrying his baby. I mean, it’s the perfect way not to get pregnant, right? Going to bed with a guy when you’re already – and believe me, there’s a lot of men out there who are very into that idea. Very. So I started up doing that and I guess we just … I dunno. We just never … stopped. Bruce and I have gone our own ways but we pay the mortgage and keep the lawn mowed and most everybody in town figures we’re doing just fine. (She turns to Bobby.) I don’t care what things you say about this guy … he is different and lovely and a really … I could just go and be myself with him! Be real and funny and just a, like, a total woman and he was completely into me. Me as a person and a writer, and it didn’t matter if I was ten pounds too heavy or older or any of that sorta crap. He’s kinda perfect. That is the truth of it. Younger than me and from this well-todo family but just the sweetest, nicest guy you could ever wanna – (Her eyes are welling up with tears.) He was not ‘nothing’ to me. You should know that. Believe what you wanna about me and, and however you feel about the situation, but this was not nothing.
Bobby … I see.
Betty I’m just saying. OK? He was special. In my mind …
Bobby I hear ya. I mean, if … you’re …
Betty Anyway …
Bobby No, that’s … if that’s the case, then you should do something about it. (Beat.) Fuck what I say or people think – that’s how ya used to be with all of us – so go do that. Just, you know … go for it.
Betty I can’t …
Bobby Sure, you can. (Beat.) I’m serious here. If he’s that fucking great, then go …
Betty It’s over, Bobby, let’s just … I wanna do this and get home, so …
Bobby No, I think you should go after him, you feel this way about it.
Betty Bobby.
Bobby Betty, fuck, change your life!
Betty Why’re you … I thought it was a sin?
Bobby Yeah, but, no, this is … but there are circumstances on occasion. Things that make it more OK than other times.
Betty That’s convenient …
Bobby I’m saying it’s true – you’ve convinced me here that you love this guy, that you’re wanting more than just a fling so I think you should, you know … go and, and …
Betty I can’t now …
Bobby That’s not true! People do this.
Betty I’d like to, but it’s not …
Bobby Yes, you can, Betty! Yes! (Beat.) I’d be a lot more proud of you, I’ll tell ya that. Doesn’t matter if you break up the family because once they kno
w, the kids can make a new life, one that’s honest and they’ll be able to be more free to love you. Even Bruce would be, he would … and you could do what you want without this secret life weighing you down! Every day, you having to pretend and all that, instead you’d be past that and be your own … It’s true … go get a divorce and do it right!
Betty Bobby, I’m telling you I can’t, OK?! Why don’t you just stay outta my business for once and let me decide if I’m …
Bobby Because you do nothing right! You always do the easy thing, the shit where it’s no big deal to keep up the facade and forget about anybody else’s needs … Why not just once think of someone else?! Huh?! Don’t always fucking choose yourself …
Betty I’m not doing that!
Bobby Yeah, you are … you always are …
Betty No, Bobby, I’m not!
Bobby This would be as much for them as it’d be for you – Your kids need you to – everybody wins if you’d just … go and …
Betty Bobby, stop! Stop it!!
Bobby Think about it, it’s the only …
Betty STOP! STOP IT!! JUST FUCKING SHUT UP!! I NEED TO BE LEFT ALONE, GODDAMMIT!!
Bobby hears this and refrains from any further talking. He holds up his hands as if to surrender.
Bobby Hey, whatever you wanna do … Far be it from me to ever make you think twice …
Betty No, I actually have thought this through, down to the last detail, and it’s not possible for me to … This isn’t some …
Bobby … just forget it … I mean, listen to me! I’m telling you to dump your husband and your kids … What the fuck is that?! I was trying to be nice to you for once, to say ‘go for it’ and run off with some dude I don’t even know, if it makes you happy … and you can’t even do that right! I think you wanna be unhappy, ’s what I think!!