by Eve Gaddy
“I do know that. It’s just hard for me to imagine, given my own situation.”
“Unfortunately, every woman isn’t as good a mother as you are.”
They went on to talk of other things. Later, as they walked to the car after dinner, Laurel asked Zack, “Why did you cut back on your cases? Was there not enough work in Whiskey River?”
“No, I’m sure there’s plenty. I didn’t come back to Whiskey River to practice law. I discovered practicing law wasn’t what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I came back here for the airport, and to actually have a life.” He unlocked his car doors and opened hers for her.
“Didn’t you have a life in Dallas?” she asked after they were both inside and buckled in.
“Not much of one. I worked ridiculous hours.” He glanced at her with a rueful smile. “Because that’s what you do when you want to get ahead. There was constant conflict. With clients, with peers, with opposing counsels. So when my uncle willed me the airfield I took it as a sign. When I left my job in Dallas I had the beginnings of an ulcer. Since I’ve been in Whiskey River I haven’t had so much as a twinge.”
“You don’t think running and managing the airport is stressful?”
“Sure, but not in the same way and not to the same degree. Plus I’m working with two of my oldest friends. That makes things easier.” He frowned and added, “Except when Travis tries to break my jaw.”
Laurel laughed as they got out of the car at Zack’s apartment complex. “I’m sorry. Ever since Stan left Travis has become overprotective.”
“Don’t I know it,” Zack said.
Laurel stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. “There. Let Laurel make it all better.”
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her soundly. “I know exactly what we can do to make that happen.”
“Really? Tell me more.”
“I’ll have to show you.”
The moment they entered his apartment they were in each other’s arms. They made it as far as the couch and began stripping off clothes. Laurel unbuttoned her shirt and flung it aside, then watched Zack do the same. She wiggled out of her jeans. Zack undid his and shoved them down his legs along with his boxers. He helped her strip off her underwear and sat on the couch guiding her to straddle him. He buried his face in her breasts, sucking first one, then the other.
“Hurry,” she said, impatient to feel him inside her.
He reached for his jeans and held them up. “Look in the pocket,” he told her.
Her hand closed around a packet. She pulled it out and opened the condom, then handed it to him to watch him put it on. Then he pushed her back on the couch and lay between her legs, but he didn’t enter her. He kissed her, long and deep, then pulled back to stroke her body. “Damn, Laurel, you’re so beautiful.”
She wasn’t but he made her feel that way.
He teased her opening, first with his fingers, then with his cock before sliding inside her with an intense thrust. Her breath caught, their gazes locked as he drove into her and pulled out, sometimes deep, sometimes shallow. Her climax built until she thought she’d die if she didn’t come. And still, he kept her on the edge. Until finally, he plunged deep and pushed her until she peaked and shattered. She felt him shudder, heard his guttural groan and held him tight with her arms, her legs, her body.
They lay entwined for a long time, not speaking but content to be with each other. It’s just sex. Really great sex. But I’m not in love with him.
I can’t be.
Chapter Eleven
Several days later, Laurel woke up and immediately rushed to the bathroom, just as she had for the last three days running. She hung over the toilet, wishing her recent bouts of nausea every freaking morning didn’t mean what she was almost certain they meant.
She was pregnant.
Take a home pregnancy test before you get all bent out of shape. It could be nothing.
Right. So her period was late. So she had all the symptoms of pregnancy that she’d had twice before. That still didn’t mean she was pregnant.
And bluebonnets don’t grow in the Hill Country either.
How could this have happened?
You had sex, dummy. A lot.
We used condoms.
One of them leaked. Or something.
Fine. She’d pick up a test on the way home from work. And take it before Zack came over. It was Friday night and he was bringing pizza and they were going to watch a couple of movies. One for the kids and one for them once the kids went to bed.
What would Zack say? How would he react?
What was she going to do if it was true?
Since the kids were out for summer break, she got them ready for daycare and did her best to put her potential problem out of her mind. She was only partially successful, since every time she went to the bathroom and saw no sign of her period, she was reminded of the possibility that her life could change drastically. Somehow, she made it through the workday, only having to make a dash for the bathroom once at work.
After picking up her kids, giving them a snack and letting them watch a TV show, she went into her bathroom and shut the door. It took her five minutes to work up the nerve to take the stupid test, but she finally did.
While she was waiting for the results, Katrina came to the door and rattled it. “Mommy, why is the door locked? Can I have a drink of water?”
“I’ll be there in a minute, honey.”
“Promise?”
“Yes, honey, I promise.”
Laurel heard the tone on her phone—celestial of all things—signifying the time was up. She picked up the wand and looked. Shook it and looked again.
“Mommy—” this time it was Cody “—Uncle Zack is at the door! Can we answer it?”
“No, I’ll be right there,” she called.
It’s official. I’m pregnant.
Laurel pulled herself together as best she could and went to let Zack in and get Katrina a drink of water, even though she’d probably forgotten she wanted it.
“Hi, beautiful,” Zack said, walking in and setting the pizza and a six-pack of beer on the table. He kissed her, then drew back and looked at her with a slightly mystified expression. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine.” This discussion would have to wait until the kids went to bed. In the meantime, she needed to get her shit together.
He seemed to take her at her word, though he shot her a few puzzled glances throughout the evening. Like when she turned down a beer—her favorite brand. And probably the fact that she couldn’t think of anything to say, beyond yes, no, or I don’t know confused him.
They put the kids to bed after their movie. Zack helped with bedtime routines and read them a story, which had turned into a regular thing whenever he came over. She watched him and listened as he read them a Little Critters story. They all laughed as he read it, just as though they hadn’t heard it a zillion times. But Zack put a lot of inflection into it, which the kids loved.
He was really sweet with her kids. She blinked back tears, scolding herself at her sentimentality.
Once Cody and Katrina were settled in bed, she and Zack went out into the living room.
“Okay, Laurel. Tell me what’s going on.”
How did you drop a bombshell on the man you’d barely begun to have a relationship with?
“Is it that obvious?” She hedged for a little more time.
“That something is going on? Something upsetting or shocking or I can’t figure out what? Yes, very obvious.” He took her hand and led her to the couch, sitting down beside her. Still holding her hand, he said, “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
She tried to think of a way to break it to him gently. But if there was, she didn’t know it.
“I’m pregnant.”
*
Zack stared at her. “You’re…pregnant?” That was the last thing he’d expected to hear. “Pregnant?”
“Yes. Pregnant.” She yanked her hand out of his. “As in
I’m pregnant with your child. Carrying your baby. Having your kid.”
“A baby. Wow. My baby.” He was having trouble wrapping his mind around it. And if he felt that way what must Laurel feel like? “You’re sure?”
“I haven’t had it confirmed by a doctor, but yes, I’m sure.”
“When did you find out?”
“About two minutes before you got here. I suspected—I’ve been barfing every morning for one thing—but I didn’t take the test until right before you came over.”
“No wonder you seemed so out of it.”
“Considering we used a condom every time we had sex, getting pregnant was not on my radar.”
“Mine either. I can see you’re upset…but is it such a terrible thing? You being pregnant?”
She stared at him incredulously. “Under the circumstances, yes. I can barely support myself and two kids, much less three.”
“You’re not thinking of…getting rid of it, are you?”
She shoved a hand through her hair. “No. I’m having it. I know that much, even if I don’t know anything else.” She laughed without humor. “I was going to get an IUD but I didn’t think there was any hurry.”
“Laurel, you don’t have to do it alone.”
Her expression softened. “I know you’ll help support the baby. But there’s a lot more to raising a child than just money.”
“Marry me.”
“What?” she asked, obviously completely shocked.
“Marry me, Laurel.”
“Marry you because I’m pregnant? That’s crazy.”
He drew her forward and kissed her. This wasn’t how he’d envisioned telling Laurel he loved her. And it was sure as hell not how he’d thought he’d ask her to marry him. For one thing, it was far sooner than he’d have chosen, not for his sake but because he didn’t think she was ready. But the baby changed everything.
“No. I want to marry you because I love you.”
“Funny thing, you didn’t say a word about being in love with me before you found out I was pregnant.”
“What would you have done if I’d told you before now?”
“I don’t know.”
“I do. You’d have run. You weren’t ready to hear it.”
She stood and started pacing. “I’m not going to marry you because you feel obligated thanks to a baby neither of us planned.”
“I don’t feel obligated. Not to marry you. Yes, I am obligated to help you take care of our child, but I don’t have to marry you to do that. I’m in love with you, Laurel. I have been for years.”
She so obviously didn’t believe him. Who knew that giving her time would turn out to be the wrong move? He was not going to win this argument now. She was too upset to be rational, anyway.
“Look, we don’t have to decide anything right now. But I want you to know you’re not in this alone.”
She sat back down, reached for his hand and squeezed it. “Thank you. I’m still having a hard time believing it. We haven’t even been together that long. For one thing, I can’t figure out how I got pregnant when we used protection every time. I don’t remember a condom breaking. Do you?”
“No. I guess one leaked. Or maybe one of them was defective.”
“Defective? How often does a defective condom happen?” Laurel asked.
“Probably not very often. But it really doesn’t matter, does it? It happened so we’ll figure it out.”
She leaned in to him and let him put his arm around her. “You’ve been so nice about this. You don’t even seem like you’re upset.”
Because he wasn’t. “I just told you I loved you. So why would you being pregnant make me unhappy?”
“Most men would be.”
“Not if they’re in love with the mother of their child.” Judging by her expression, it was going to take a while before she believed him. “I’ll admit I’m surprised. Like you said, we used birth control. How far along are you?”
“Around six weeks. Probably. I’ll know more once I see my doctor. She has an office over by the hospital.”
“When will you go see her?”
“Since it’s Friday I guess I’ll see if I can go in next week. Don’t worry, I’ll let you know what she says.”
“I can go with you.”
“It’s just a confirmation appointment. If I’m right about the dates it’s still too early to hear the baby’s heartbeat. You don’t have to be there.”
Zack pushed her chin up and kissed her. “I want to. Do you mind?”
“No.” She studied his face. “You’ve never had a child.”
“True.” Not that he knew of, at any rate.
“You’re happy I’m pregnant, aren’t you?”
“I’m not happy that you’re so upset,” he hedged.
“I don’t want to get married simply because I’m pregnant.”
“If we get married, the baby won’t be the only reason. At least on my part.” He kissed her, then hugged her close. “I love you, Laurel.”
She pushed away and locked gazes with him. “Do you think I’ll believe it if you just say it often enough?”
He smiled. “Can’t hurt. Besides, it happens to be true.”
Her expression was solemn. “I want to believe you. But I’ve just told you I’m pregnant with your baby. You’re a decent, honorable man. You’re bent on doing the right thing. Which to you means marriage.”
“That isn’t the reason I asked you to marry me.”
“Of course it is.”
“It’s the reason I asked you so soon.” She simply looked at him. But he could tell by her expression she still didn’t believe he loved her and really wanted to marry her. Damn, she was frustrating. It dawned on him he might be thinking about this the wrong way. How he felt wasn’t the problem. How Laurel felt was the issue. “You think I’m going to screw you over. Like your ex did.”
“I didn’t say that. Or think it, either.”
Bullshit. That’s exactly what she was thinking. He struggled with his temper. “I can understand how him deserting you and the kids the way he did would make you reluctant to trust again. But damn it, Laurel, we’ve known each other for years. Do you honestly think I’d treat you like that? That I’d treat any woman like that?”
“No. But I never thought he would do what he did, either. At least, not when we were first married.”
“I’m not your goddamn ex-husband.” And frankly, it pissed the hell out of him that she was comparing him to that piece of shit.
“I know that.” She put her hand on his arm. “I know you’re a good man. It’s not that I don’t trust you so much as I don’t trust myself.”
“What the hell does that mean? You don’t trust yourself?”
“I married Stan. I stayed with him, even after—” She stopped abruptly and averted her eyes.
“Even after what, Laurel?” Was she going to tell him the real problem or would she blow him off? Again.
“It doesn’t matter. But I can’t make this decision now. It’s too important.”
There it was. The unmistakable sign to back the hell off. It cost him but he managed to swallow his anger. Or at least, delay it. “All right. But promise me you’ll think about marrying me. Just think about it, okay?”
“I will.”
Chapter Twelve
A week after Laurel told Zack she was pregnant she was more confused than ever about what to do. Marrying again wasn’t something she’d ever considered, especially since she’d hardly dated until Zack. But then, she hadn’t expected to get pregnant either. But here they were.
Her doctor wanted her to wait until she thought she was eight weeks along for her first appointment. A confirmation appointment, not that she needed it. She knew she was pregnant.
Zack hadn’t pushed her to answer him. He’d come over nearly every night. He continued to help her with Cody and Katrina, and to all appearances, he enjoyed being with them. He’d been super nice to her, but honestly, he usually was super nice to her.
Was he really that…well, perfect? she thought for the twentieth time. She’d never seen him lose his temper. She’d seen him struggle with it, but not lose it.
Not even when Travis had slugged him. Or when Cody had spilled chocolate sauce all over his—she suspected—brand-new shirt. Or when Katrina had thrown a fit because Laurel wouldn’t let her watch another TV show and then had ignored her daughter’s subsequent tantrum. That exhibition was bound to have grated on his nerves. It had sure as hell stretched hers to breaking point.
But Zack had taken all of those incidents in stride. She wondered what it would take to make him lose his cool. He’d nearly lost it at Jalisco’s. He’d been angry with both the customer who had groped her and her boss. But he’d stayed in control. The closest he’d come to losing it around her was when she told him she was pregnant. He hadn’t been upset that she was pregnant but he sure had been when he’d accused her of thinking he was like Stan. Which she didn’t. Not at all.
She remembered Stan losing his temper—the few times he was home—when the baby would cry. Never mind that Katrina was a newborn. He couldn’t understand why Laurel couldn’t “make the damn brat shut up.” And with time he only grew worse. He hadn’t been that way with Cody. He’d been happy, at least for a while. But that was before the drugs.
Was it the drugs that changed him? Almost certainly. But Stan had been a different person when they married. And his descent into drugs had been gradual. So gradual, she hadn’t known he was an addict until months later. Which made her doubt her own ability to judge people. Especially men. Especially men she was involved with.
Zack was different, though. For one thing, he was a lifelong friend of Travis. Which gave him a number of points in his favor. Both her brothers thought he was a good guy.
She didn’t think Zack would turn into a drug addict. But she also couldn’t be sure that he truly loved her and wasn’t just “doing the right thing.” And until she was sure of that it wouldn’t be right to marry him.
Even if she was falling in love with him.
That evening, after she and Zack put the kids to bed, Laurel said, “We need to talk.”