“Royalty,” I spat, waving my fist at the pair of planes, which did exactly as expected, taking off and leaving us with all the supplies our cats could ever want.
They’d even been given cat toys from most kingdoms around the world, as many royal families seemed to believe our pets needed to be spoiled as part of our wedding celebration. I didn’t mind that part at all, although I had no idea what we’d do with so many toys.
I’d have to teach Melody exactly how to survive in the wild with nothing more than a damned hatchet and enough supplies to last our animals for a month.
I glared at the hatchet, which had been thrust into my hand upon exiting the plane.
“This is great,” Melody announced, spinning around in a circle while our cats complained over their cruel imprisonment in their carriers. “I didn’t think I’d actually get to do a one-on-one survival course!”
“This is not a course. This is the real deal.” I held up the hatchet. “Cat food, cat toys, cat beds, cat everything, cat litter, and a hatchet. That’s it. I watched them, Melody. I watched them carefully. I saw what they loaded the planes with. We have to survive through part of a Canadian winter with just a hatchet.”
She giggled. “The cabin is stocked with supplies if you can’t handle our survival course with just a hatchet. I know the combination for the lock, although I’m sure you could bust into it with your hatchet.”
That made me feel a little better—somewhat. Unfortunately, I recognized a challenge when I heard one. “It’s snowing, and they really want to see if I can do this with just a hatchet, don’t they?”
“You get blankets, a bed, and a cabin to work with, but yes. Otherwise, you’ll have to make do with just a hatchet.” Melody sounded way too happy about the situation. “Okay, we have fishing rods and tackle. I refused to attend a honeymoon next to a lake without proper fishing gear. If we’re lucky, we’ll get to go ice fishing. I asked a search and rescue instructor how best to make you strut your stuff for me. He said I was to dump you somewhere and give you a hatchet. You could do the rest without help from anyone. I think he has a crush on you. Can we go ice fishing?”
I recognized I’d lost the battle with my wife, surrendering with a sigh. “We’d have to be here for months to go ice fishing, Melody. There’s no ice on the lake.”
“Make ice.”
“I’m not icing the lake prematurely, but I will cheat and catch fish as needed if we don’t catch any the proper way.”
“I can work with this. I was promised there would be wild grapes here, and they’re still okay until the first major snowfall, so we need to go get the pets settled in the cabin and go hunt for the grapes before it snows more.”
“How did our honeymoon become a survival course, Melody?”
“You’re hot when you’re armed with a hatchet and doing survival things. It was William’s idea.”
William was truly a devil. “What did I ever do to William?”
“He said we needed alone time without RPS agents edging in on your turf so you could establish your territory properly. Then he muttered something about making sure there were RPS agents trained in survival, which means there are RPS agents somewhere out here in the Canadian wilderness learning how to survive. As it would be cruel to make you run an actual survival course for our honeymoon, here we are. I think we’re supposed to rescue the RPS agents if they fail the course. There’s more than one cabin here.”
My eyes widened at that. “We’re the rescue team for a survival scenario?”
“Something like that. We have a radio if they need to be rescued.”
My wife was a beautiful and brilliant woman, but I worried she was more than a little insane. “I have a hatchet, Melody.”
“I know. I get to watch you get all nice and sweaty chopping wood, and then I get to reward you for your hard work.”
“All that complaining I was about to do about how cruel it is to test me with just a hatchet? Ignore it. It seems I have to find some wood to chop for your enjoyment. I hope you don’t mind me cheating to catch dinner tonight. I wouldn’t want to waste energy that could be better spent on more enjoyable pursuits.”
“I see you finally understand the situation. After I enjoy admiring the scenery, I’ll haul the logs you’ve cut for the fireplace, and then we’ll spend as much time as possible keeping each other company.”
“Just how long are we staying out here for?”
“Until we’re tired of it or we’re really needed back in Maine, I suppose. I give it two weeks before Dad caves and begs Peter to retrieve us. In good news, the RPS agents seem to be well trained, so we probably won’t have to rescue them. But if we do, we get to lord over Kevin, because he’s training in this batch.”
Ah-ha. That explained why everyone was confident we could be left alone unsupervised. We weren’t actually unsupervised, and if needed, I suspected Kevin could show up in a matter of minutes. “I get to pick the best in the batch as my head of detail, and I want to evaluate their camp sites when their testing period is over.”
“If that’s what it takes to make you happy, so be it,” Melody replied, and she graced me with her best smile. “But for now, we have more important things to do, don’t we?”
“Can I request we have to go to some reclusive cabin once a year until we’re too old and lazy to want to?”
“Yes, you can.”
“Once we’re back to civilization, remind me to apologize to my family for running out and leaving them in the clutches of evil royals.”
“Considering the evil royals are taking turns hosting them for sporting events, I think it’s safe to say they’ve forgiven you for your crimes.”
“Also, remind me to thank Ekrem.”
“Thank him? I keep wanting to punch him.”
“Thank him. Because of him, I have you.”
Melody’s expression went blank, and I watched her expression go from stunned to thoughtful. The instant she realized the truth of my statement, her eyes widened. “We really do have him to thank him, don’t we?”
“And think of it this way. Because of your asshole uncle, we get to be happy, and I think that’s the greatest revenge we could ask for.”
Melody scowled, but then she tossed her head back and laughed. “I guess it was a little silly of me to want revenge on the bastard for trying to kill you.”
I didn’t ask her which bastard she was talking about; it didn’t matter. We had the rest of our lives ahead of us, and I looked forward to seeing what the future would bring.
About the Author
Susan Copperfield is the royal romance, urban fantasy loving alter ego of award-winning novelist RJ Blain.
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Under the super not-so-secret identity of Susan, the Royal States of America is explored, where the work of sixteen founding royal families preserved the United States from destruction and civil war when magic swept over the world.
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In the Royal States, life, love, and magic always finds a way.
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Susan also writes as RJ Blain and Bernadette Franklin. Visit Susan and her pets (the Management) at thesneakykittycritic.com.
Follow RJ & her alter egos on Bookbub:
RJ Blain
Susan Copperfield
Bernadette Franklin
Books by Susan Copperfield
Storm Called
Null & Void
The Captive King
A Guiding Light
Huntress
Bonds
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Upcoming Susan Copperfield Novels
Cold Flame
Runaway
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For a Complete List of all Books written by RJ Blain, Click Here
Books by RJ Blain
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Magical Romantic Comedies
Playing with fire
Hoofin’ It
Hearth, Home, and Havoc (Novella)
Serial Killer Princess
Whatever fo
r Hire
Last but Not leashed (Novella)
Fowl Play (Novella)
Owl be Yours (Novella)
No Kitten Around
Cheetahs Never Win
Burn, Baby, Burn (Sequel to Playing with Fire)
Grave Humor (2020)
Murder Mittens (TBD)
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Other Series by RJ Blain
Witch & Wolf
Seeking the Zodiacs
Books by Bernadette Franklin
Claustrophobic
Shammed
Ginger Snapped (2019)
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Upcoming Bernadette Franklin Novels:
Murder Floof
The Run Around
Ginger Snapped
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