by Alexis Anne
“Here. Let me help you with these and then I’d love to sit and talk for a few minutes. If you’ll let me.”
More than a little stunned, I took two of the drinks and led Ryan back to my group. “Everyone, this is Ryan. Ryan, this is everyone.”
“Ryan!” Natalie squealed. “So good to see you!” She threw her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.
“It’s good to see you, too, Natalie. How’s Chicago?” I noticed that his cheeks were unusually flushed. Much more than they had been at the bar.
Interesting.
Very interesting.
“Lovely. But I’m back in Tampa for the year. I’m working on a fellowship at the university.”
“Of course you are. You’re brilliant and they’re lucky to have you.”
Now that I remembered him I knew why he’d been at that party. As a sports agent Marie was connected to everyone, including music agents. Ryan Barton was right out of college and in his first assignment working as an assistant to one of Marie’s good friends. He’d brought Ryan along to the party to make connections. He was a couple of years younger than me in age, but one of those old souls. We’d bonded and had fun. Kissing had been a great extension of that.
“And you,” Natalie gushed. “He’s an agent now. His client list is growing by the minute.”
His blush deepened and he ducked his head. “I’m off to a great start.”
I felt like I was watching something big and important happen. Based on the way Natalie was throwing herself at Ryan and the way he was turning red . . . did they like each other?
He cleared his throat. “If you’ll excuse me for just a few minutes I need to chat with June, but I’d love to buy you another drink and catch up when I’m done.”
This time Natalie blushed. “I’d love that.”
Ryan followed me to the smoking porch but before he could launch into some giant apology I whispered, “You like her.”
He looked away. “She’s a good friend.”
“That you like.”
He shifted. “I’m too old for her. Too stuck in Tampa.”
Oh . . . he had it so bad. And yes, it was true that he had to be about five years older than her and yes, she was a world traveler by nature, but I didn’t see either of those as real obstacles.
“You never know until you try.” I elbowed him.
“Not happening. Not now, not ever.” Then he shot me a look that he must usually give his clients. It was a “sit down, shut up, and listen because I take no prisoners” kind of look. “Two years ago I’d just broken up with my high school sweetheart.”
“You two were together all through college?”
He nodded. “We went to different schools. It was long distance. I thought it didn’t matter.”
My heart ached for him. “She broke up with you?”
He nodded. “She was in love with her graduate assistant and they were going to study in Japan together. She said they had a chemistry beyond anything she’d ever known before.”
“Ouch.”
He relaxed. “Yeah. It was a big blow to my ego. I thought I had life figured out. I got this amazing internship that turned into my job with Leggit and Hughs. I had my college degree and a good woman I loved. The future was ours. And then all I had was my job. Paul made me go to that party where I met you and Natalie. He said I needed to get out and see that there was more to life than playing it safe.”
“Making out with an older woman is a good start.”
He was adorably uncomfortable.
“And the thing is . . . I enjoyed it. A lot.” He shifted on his feet. “I realized Laurie was right. We were childhood friends who thought that was love. It wasn’t. It was comfortable and we would have made it something good, but it wasn’t passion.”
“Kissing me awakened you?” I teased. I’d never been someone’s awakening—well, not that I knew of.
“In a way, yeah.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t call you because I was genuinely confused. I took a few weeks and sorted through my feeling and decided that I was starting over fresh. No broken heart, no regrets.”
“I’m happy for you Ryan. And I bare you no ill will. Unless—”
“Unless what?”
“Unless you chicken out on Natalie.”
He shot me another look. “I’m not chickening out. I’m being realistic. I’ve got obligations here. Obligations that are already strained with the amount that I travel for work. I’m never going to pursue Natalie because it would only hurt us.”
Talk about dramatic. “You’re very doom and gloom. You must like her an awful lot.”
He didn’t answer.
“Anyway, I can only take so much second hand smoke. We should get back in there.”
“Friends?” he asked, opening his arms for a hug.
“Of course. Don’t be a stranger.” I stepped forward and accepted his hug.
It was at that exact moment that the door opened and Roman stepped out. “Wes?”
It felt like the floor was falling away from me so by reflex I wrapped my arms tighter around Ryan. Roman’s eyes widened as he took in our embrace.
Ryan stiffened. “Roman?”
Of course they knew each other. And I was hugging another man while Roman stood there staring at us. I should be relieved. This was exactly the kind of thing that would turn him off. But instead all I felt was wrong.
That feeling multiplied as Roman’s eyes turned dark and his jaw flexed. “Wes isn’t out here?” His tone was glacier cold.
Ryan separated us. “The last time I saw him he was headed toward the restrooms.”
Roman gave him a curt nod, raked his steely gaze over me, and left. The door slamming shut behind him.
“So you and Ryan?” Roman practically sneered. After locating Wes in a rather compromising situation with Carrie we both stood outside the upstairs executive restrooms waiting for them to finish . . . whatever it was they were doing. I didn’t want details. I knew more than I wanted to as it was.
“Ryan’s a nice guy,” I said without looking at him. Instead I concentrated on my shoes.
“Ryan is a great guy. A little young for you . . . ”
Roman assumed I was dating Ryan and I hadn’t said a word to correct him. “I don’t care about his age. I care about his heart. I care about how he treats women. His work ethic. Whether he’s good in bed.”
“And is he?” There was a definite growl beneath his voice.
As much as I wanted to make Roman jealous and flaunt another man in front of him, I couldn’t bring myself to outright lie. “I don’t know.”
Roman didn’t relax. “Good.”
“Good?” I spun to face him. “I don’t recall asking for your opinion.”
“You didn’t.” He stood up straighter and I really hoped he wasn’t about to step closer. I could already feel the ways he was affecting me simply by being in the same room. If he came closer . . . if he touched me . . . he’d know how much he affected me.
“I’m with Ryan now.” Liar.
Oh, and he knew it too. His eyes practically sparked with mischief. “Don’t get me wrong, I think Ryan will make a great boyfriend for someone, just not you.”
“Not me?” I hated that I let my emotions take control. I sounded a lot more like an angry ex-girlfriend than the calm, cool, collected woman who didn’t need Roman St. James in her life. “How dare you.”
He swaggered closer. “I dare because I know you.” He took another step, raising a cocky finger as he came within touching distance. “I know you’ll never be satisfied with calm or average. You’ll never be content with reliable or dependable.” He stopped inches from me, looking down into my eyes with fire in his own. “You hate me for the same reason you need me.”
“I do not need you, Roman.”
“Yes you do,” he murmured, leaning closer. “You need excitement and passion in your life, June. You need adventure and a man just as crazy as you.” I lost my breath and all reason
as his hand slid over the side of my hip. “Ryan will take you home and give you a nice time before you both fall asleep. Same thing night after night for the rest of your life. He’ll be steadfast and dependable and you’ll be bored to tears.”
He was right, of course. Memories of Roman pulling me into a closet and having me against the wall right after a game blurred with moments of sweet love making in a hotel we ran off to near the beach. I don’t think we’d ever had sex in the same place twice.
But it wasn’t about the sex or the location, it was about the passion. The way he felt free to follow his instincts when he was with me, and the way I knew I could indulge my wildest fantasies safely with him. Life was never boring with Roman because he wouldn’t allow it.
And that was very seductive.
He brushed his lips over mine, squeezing my hips with both his hands. “Where do you want to go next, June? I’ll go with you. Machu Picchu, Cambodia, Sri Lanka, Cairo?” He ran his nose along mine then kissed me again. Softly. Oh, so softly, as he whispered, “I’ll make love to you a thousand different ways, then start all over again.”
It rocked me to my core that he remembered my old bucket list. I’d put my top ten on my refrigerator door back then. It was closer to fifty these days and taped to the inside of my closet. “Not with you,” I whispered back despite my body screaming for more.
“Your lips are saying one thing and doing another,” he murmured as I trailed kisses down his jaw.
“Just because I have a natural reaction to your body doesn’t mean I want anything to do with you.”
To my complete surprise he stepped back, putting a full foot between us before he let me go. “Then let’s be friends.” The sexy fire in his eyes was gone, replaced with a cold determination.
The quick transition threw me for a loop. “Excuse me?”
“We both agree that our physical compatibility is off the charts.”
I nodded, reeling from the heat throbbing through my body with nowhere to go.
“And your ‘excuse’ for not giving us a chance is that our lives are incompatible?”
I nodded again, ignoring his use of air quotes.
“Then lets become friends and I’ll prove to you we’re more than sex.”
I blinked at him. “But Daniels and St. James are not friends.”
“So the fuck what, June? We can’t completely ignore that our families want to kill each other but we don’t have to be slaves to it. We can respectfully get to know each other as friends in safe and neutral environments.”
“Safe and neutral environments?” I laughed.
“You know, a friendly game night. Maybe a football game. If we can manage, maybe even happy hour.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “We’ll have to do it in a non-baseball city.”
“Done.” He held out his hand as if we’d just made a business deal.
“Roman . . . ”
“What? Give me a chance. You know you’ll be happier knowing for sure and I promise if after we’ve tried the friend route you still want nothing to do with me, I’ll let it go. If you tell me to take a hike I’ll hike up a mountain and stay there. No more hitting on you, innuendo, or teasing. We can be friends or enemies, but I’ll accept that we’ll never be lovers again.”
It was an enticing deal. If tonight was any indication then there was little chance of getting Roman out of my system by wishing him away. There was definitely lingering doubt in my mind about our possibilities. Would we go down in flames? Probably. But what if we didn’t? He was right about everything. Our chemistry was unlike anything I’d ever experienced with anyone else and most of the time I really liked him as a person. I enjoyed spending time with Roman. I hated the idea of a boring and predictable relationship with anyone and Roman was the opposite of boring and predictable.
Maybe spending a few weeks as friends was exactly what I needed to figure things out.
“I accept your terms.” I thrust out my hand and shook his, but he didn’t let go.
“One last requirement. Don’t date anyone else until you’ve decided.” He squeezed my hand gently, then pulled me into his warm, solid body for a spine tingling kiss. Without thinking—just moving on automatic—I opened to him, meeting him stroke for stroke as our bodies melded together.
Part of me wanted to kick Wes and Carrie out of the restroom so Roman and I could take their place. Part of me was kicking myself for always wanting more from Roman when I knew damn well this was a terrible idea.
He pulled back but held me flush against his body as he whispered. “I just wanted us both to remember what’s at stake.”
11
Five years earlier
I n the three weeks since the night of our hand-touching non-kiss keg party, Roman and I had only seen each other for professional reasons. I was still overseeing the strengthening of his arm, and the season was getting into the dog days of endless games.
I had classes to worry about and I also had to start looking ahead at grad school. Did I want to add another year or two? What did I really want to do as a job for the rest of my life?
As much as I wanted to let my imagination run wild with ideas of what kissing Roman would feel like, I simply didn’t have the time. Plus, as a normal college athlete, he had dates. Blonde ones, brunette ones, there was even a redhead. We had an undeniable connection, that was obvious, but it wasn’t exactly as if either of us were off the market.
Hell, I even had a couple of dates. We were twenty-one after all. One heated evening of non-kissing didn’t translate to unrequited love. It didn’t. That wasn’t real and I wasn’t going to waste my precious days pining over a guy I wouldn’t date even if he were available.
But still . . . I didn’t like seeing the girls waiting after practice.
And while he was cocky, sweet, confident, and an amazing flatterer, he simply didn’t look nearly as interested in them as he did when he was with me. Maybe it was because I was a Daniels. Maybe I was a rebellion? I was the one girl he couldn’t have . . . there was probably something to that. I knew there was definitely an extra level of excitement for me knowing that Roman was off-limits.
“I know this isn’t in your job description, but is there any way you could take this empty cooler out to the practice field dugout? Coach Ramirez is going to grab it later tonight.” Coach Williams stood in front of me holding a red and white cooler with a very hopeful expression on his face.
I found it nearly impossible to say no to anything he asked since he was such a genuinely nice man. Plus he never asked for favors.
“Of course. Give it here.”
“Thank you,” he sighed with relief. “There’s rain coming.”
“Then I’ll hurry. Besides, a little water never hurt anyone.”
“You’re the best!” He called over his shoulder as he rushed back into his office.
Sure enough, the sky was grey and the wind was picking up. The practice field wasn’t that far, but then I’d still have to make it back to grab my bag before heading to the car. Based on the way the temperature was dropping I probably had just enough time to do it all.
Maybe.
I assumed he wanted me to leave the cooler in the away dugout since it was the one closest to the road, so I crossed the field in a hurry, fighting my own hair as the wind whipped it into my eyes. I’d just nestled it into the corner away from the incoming rain when someone jogged in behind me.
“Whoa, what are you doing here?” Roman laughed.
I spun around and found him in street clothes with a Gator blue duffle bag thrown over one shoulder.
“Dropping a cooler for Coach Ramirez. What are you doing out here?” Looking so good in a pair of jeans it should be illegal.
“Funny enough, I’m picking up a cooler for Coach Ramirez. I was supposed to come in an hour but with the rain,” he held out his hand to the sky, “I figured I’d see if it was here.”
I turned around and picked the cooler back up just as a clap of thunder shook the enti
re dugout. A moment later a bolt of lighting hit incredibly close by. I nearly dropped the cooler in shock.
“Whoa,” Roman whistled. “That was too close for comfort.”
The air was filled with electricity and for once it was actually filled with real electricity—not the imaginary kind that usually filled the air when Roman was near. “I don’t think it’s safe to walk across the field right now,” I murmured.
“I think you would be right.” He took the cooler from my hands and set it on the bench. “I guess we should wait it out. At least until the air isn’t charged with instant death particles.”
I laughed at his joke to cover up the way his fingers brushing against mine made me feel. I conjured up images of the glamazons he’d been dating to remind myself Roman was not interested in dating me.
Sex, maybe.
Not dating.
And while I loved a good time in the bedroom, I did not have meaningless sex with anyone. Not even sexy off-limits baseball players. Not even to scratch a rebellious itch.
“It’s weird how it can rain without raining, huh?”
He chuckled. “Yeah, it’s humid enough you’d think it was raining but no. There is no rain falling from the sky yet.”
I ran my hand over my arms to remove the condensation. “How’s your arm?”
He stretched it. “Good. What we’re doing is working.”
“Plus you’ve been throwing better.”
He grinned. “You’re paying attention.”
“I am.”
He adjusted his shoulders. “I’ve been working with Ramirez. You were right. It’s taking a lot of practice to retrain my muscles but it will be worth it. He said I’ve probably added five years to my professional career already.”
“I accept payment in the form of cash, gift cards, and season tickets.”
He laughed again. “Seriously, thank you.”
“Just doing my job.” Another wild series of lighting bolts struck close by and this time the rain started. We both stepped back and sat down on the bench. The rain was so loud there was no point in trying to talk. We’d have to yell and even then we probably wouldn’t hear each other.