by Alexis Anne
He sat up and leaned across the table. “Which scene is your favorite?”
I bit my lip because whether Roman was new or old to me this was a revealing thing to say. “When they’re on the Millennium Falcon and she tells him she likes nice men.”
“And he says, ‘I’m a nice man, Leia,’ and kisses the crap out of her?” He bounced his eyebrows. “I may have learned how to kiss from watching that scene a few times when I was thirteen.”
My cheeks turned even redder thinking of kissing Roman. “Is that so?”
“We should kiss one day. You can tell me if I learned all the right things.”
I already knew the answer to that.
“You’re very forward.”
“I know a good thing when I see it. Ask me something else,” he said evenly, as if it were taking a lot of control to keep himself together.
“What do you do?”
“I’m an agent. I represent athletes in baseball, football, and hockey at the moment.”
“And do you like what you do?”
He nodded slowly, suddenly very, very serious. “I love it, actually. I grew up playing sports and knew I always wanted it to be part of my life. Helping athletes find the right places to excel and have great careers is a privilege.”
The conviction behind his statement took my breath away. This was why starting over was so important. I knew Roman but I didn’t know the man he’d become. I might know that he preferred to sleep on his back with his arms above his head and that he thinks chocolate is a food group, but I didn’t know anything about what drove him or what he wanted out of life.
“That’s amazing,” I said.
“What about you? What do you do, June?”
“Interestingly enough I’m also in sports. I’m an athletic trainer.”
“Huh, that is interesting. Maybe we’re meant to be together.” He let that hang in the air for a moment. “Do enjoy your work?”
My brain had turned fuzzy somewhere around We’re meant to be together. “I love it but I’m worried I’ll get restless being tied down to one location for too long.”
“You like to travel?” There was something funny about the way he asked that question. It was strangely hopeful but also a bit strangled by an emotion I couldn’t name.
“I love seeing the world.”
Then he suddenly stood up and held out his hand. “Pretend you and I know each other well enough for this, okay?”
I stared up at him confused and excited by this sudden shift. I slipped my hand inside his again, relishing the electric zing that shot up my arm.
“I want to show you something. Will you come with me?”
The joking and banter was gone, replaced by something heavy. Something important.
“Okay.”
He held my hand while I slid my feet back into my flip-flops, then threaded his fingers between mine for the walk back to the car.
18
Five years ago
“I t’s not that hard, Roman!” a woman hissed. “For fucks sake. I’m out of here!”
I froze in the middle of the locker room as a woman I had never seen before flew by me with fire in her eyes. She was also pulling on a shirt and her skirt was all askew.
Holy crap I’d just walked in on . . . on . . . well I really didn’t want to know, to be honest.
And then he appeared right behind her.
Buck naked.
I was frozen between wanting to lose my lunch at the idea of Roman with another woman and my fascination at seeing his entire body bared to me. And even stranger—he didn’t seem all that surprised to see me standing there with a box of medical supplies. His eyes drifted over me quickly before he turned his attention back to the fleeing woman.
“Thanks for nothing, Crystal!”
“Go to hell!” she yelled back just before the outer doors slammed shut with a bang.
Then he turned to me. Still naked and not in any way attempting to cover anything. “Sorry,” he mumbled.
“Umm . . . ”
“This is embarrassing.”
“You could say that.”
“Can I help you with that?” He reached for the box.
“Roman. You’re naked.” I felt like I was stating the obvious but . . .
“I know.”
“Don’t you want to grab some shorts or a towel or run away to hide from whatever that was?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Not really.” Then he took the box and walked away, giving me a spectacular view of his ass.
I shuddered. The muscles flexed with each step. It was every bit as amazing as I’d always imagined. “Can I ask why?”
He slid the box into the supply locker and shut the door, then turned around with a smile. “Because you just witnessed exactly what you asked for. I took Crystal on a date. Are you happy now?”
No! Yes? No! “I’m confused.”
He took a step toward me. “You told me to go on a date. I did.”
I took a step back. “Why are you naked?”
He kept stalking toward me until I was trapped between a locker and his body. His arms caged me in on either side. “Crystal and I used to date. It ended . . . badly.”
I really hated myself for being aroused. Yes, Roman was hot and naked and looming over me in a very sexy way, but he was also naked with another woman. Who had left in a huff of anger. I was so confused! “So?”
“So I asked her to be my one date to satisfy your request. Want to know why?”
Not really. “Yes.”
His eyes lit up as if he’d just won some sort of victory. “She’s the only real girlfriend I’ve ever had. I was a terrible boyfriend. So I asked her to dinner hoping she could tell me all the ways I sucked.”
Well this was a bizarre development. “Why would you do that?” And why was I still attracted a man who just openly admitted he was a terrible boyfriend? There was something very wrong with me.
“For one, I wanted to be sure I would be different with you. I feel different. And tonight only confirmed my suspicion.”
I didn’t want to keep this conversation going and yet . . . “Suspicion?”
He nodded slowly, his eyes drinking me in. “It’s different when you desperately want to be with someone. When you care about them. I liked Crystal. She was nice and we had some fun together, but I wasn’t driven to make her happy the way I feel when I’m around you. It’s like I have some sort of mission to make you smile.” His voice cracked and fell away. He stared at my lips like he wanted to kiss me.
And oh how I wanted to be kissed.
“That doesn’t explain your lack of clothing. In a dark locker room. At night.”
I swear he moved closer. His nose was nearly touching mine now. “She informed me that I was a terrible lover. I asked her to show me why.”
Every muscle in my body went rigid. Did he? Had he just admitted to having sex with another woman minutes before trying to seduce me? I pushed him away but he didn’t budge. “Move, Roman!”
“Nope.” He moved his arms closer, effectively blocking any ability to move outside of kneeing him in the balls, which I was about five seconds away from doing when he dropped his lips against mine and murmured, “You misunderstand me. I wasn’t having sex with Crystal. She was demonstrating how clueless I was when it came to women.”
He was insane. That was the only explanation. “Roman. This makes no sense and I’m not going to kiss—let alone date—a man who was naked with another woman.”
He kissed me and damn it all, I liked it. “I have no idea what I’m doing.” He pulled back just enough so that I could see all of his face at once. “I’ve never had to please a woman and no one has ever taught me what to do.”
That brought me up short. “What?”
“I’m an asshole. I was raised by an asshole. I sleep with women and I don’t care if they have fun. I didn’t even know they could have fun, believe it or not.”
My mouth hung open as I stared up at him in complete and u
tter shock. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“I’m as serious as a heart attack.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I was pretty sure if I had just realized I was a selfish, clueless, jerk I wouldn’t be broadcasting it to the one person who I wanted to sleep with.
“Because I want to please you,” he said carefully. “The one person on this planet I should want to use—the one person I shouldn’t care about—I desperately want to please you.”
“Is this a joke?”
“Only if it’s on me,” he quickly replied. Maybe he could see I was half a second away from fleeing. “I have a proposition for you.”
I ducked under his arm and stepped away. I needed air. I needed all the air. “No. No propositions. No requests. We’ve crossed the line from playful flirting to batshit insanity.”
“Teach me.”
I froze, staring at him in wonder. “Teach you?”
“How to please you. It will be good for you. I promise I’m a quick study. And,” he rushed on, “we can work each other out of our systems. You’ll get a few free orgasms out of the deal. We don’t have to have intercourse if that’s too far but I’d really like to learn how all of this works.”
I waved my hands at my body incredulously. “I’m not for sale!”
He groaned. “That’s not what I’m asking. Don’t you get it?” He threw his arms wide. “I’m admitting something big here. And you of all people are the person I’m telling. I’m offering you orgasms in exchange for some direction and in the process we can scratch this itch that we both know isn’t going anywhere. Nothing more. Nothing less.”
I was in shock. That was the only explanation as to why I was still standing there instead of running away screaming.
“Think about it,” he said. “We both know we can’t date. Not now, not ever. But we can’t deny that there is something here. Maybe it’s just great chemistry, maybe it’s not. But fighting it and ignoring it is only making it worse. Isn’t it?”
I nodded, confused by how logical this sounded.
“So we give in.” He stepped toward me again. “And in the process I learn how to be less of an asshole. With any luck we both walk away from this happy to be free of this attraction.”
Why was I even considering this?
Oh, yeah. Because I wanted his body. But did I want to teach him? A clueless grown man who didn’t know how to take care of a woman in bed should repulse me, but there was something so completely open and honest about his request. He made himself vulnerable to me and was trusting that I wouldn’t hurt him. Because oh, how I could use this to take a shot at my enemy. Could there be anything more embarrassing than having your sexual ineptitude broadcast to women everywhere?
Plus, I’d get to teach him all the things I liked. He would be my own personal plaything. There were a few potential upsides to his suggestion.
“No.” That was the only logical answer and I forced myself to say it.
The disappointment in his eyes winded me. “All right.” But he didn’t move. Instead he stood there staring at me.
Naked.
I really couldn’t say this enough.
I cleared my throat. “I should go.” He still didn’t move and for some reason I didn’t either. Things felt . . . unfinished. “Foreplay is important.”
His eyebrows shot up. “I’ve always wondered why.”
“Men need to get hard while women . . . we need to get aroused.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, his biceps flexing. “That’s what kissing is for?”
I shook my head. “That doesn’t hurt but it’s not going to get you very far if your goal is to,” I fumbled over my words as my blood pressure shot up, “if your goal is to please her.”
“You, June. I want to please you.” His eyes grew dark as they locked onto mine.
I just barely held in a whimper. That look and those words did wonderful things to me. “You are a quick study.”
“How so?”
“This is foreplay.” My belly clenched as all my blood skyrocketed south on a sex train.
He blinked in surprise, a smile pulling up the corners of his lips. Just a little. “It is?”
I nodded, appreciating the four feet that separated us. “Words can be very erotic. They can make a woman feel beautiful. Wanted. Desired.” My words were coming out breathier by the minute.
I was turned on just thinking about Roman saying that he wanted me.
He seemed to consider this. “So if I told you that for the first time in my life I’ve been fantasizing about you moaning my name, that would be foreplay?”
I squeezed my legs together. “Yes.”
“Because I do. Every night. It threw me for a loop the first time it happened.” His chest was rising and falling faster now and his cock—which I might add had been lying flaccid against his thigh up until this point—suddenly seemed to come to life. Thickening and hardening with each word. “I hear your voice, thick and deep, calling my name, and I get hard.”
“That’s never happened to you before?” I found that really difficult to believe. Didn’t all men want to hear their name screamed by a woman in pleasure?
“I told you, I’m an asshole on the road to recovery. I’ve never cared one way or another what a woman was or wasn’t saying while we fucked. Because let’s be clear, that’s all I’ve ever done.” His jaw ticked. Was he mad? Frustrated? I didn’t know enough yet to tell the difference. “But one handshake with you and all of a sudden I couldn’t sleep at night because I couldn’t get you out of my head. Your voice kept echoing and somehow it became my name on your lips. Do you know how hard it is to sleep with a dick made of stone?”
He’d been fantasizing about me since that first day? I shuddered. He was definitely getting the conversational part of foreplay under control. “I don’t.”
“It’s impossible,” he whispered. “And nothing I did could erase that idea from my head.”
“Nothing?”
He shook his head slowly, then reached down and took his rock-hard cock in his hand, keeping his eyes locked on mine. “Nothing. Every night you’ve filled the darkness. Every night I hear you moaning my name and eventually I give up. I pretend I know what the fuck I’m doing and in my mind you come. You come because of me.” He ran his hand up and down his length several times before letting go. “And then five minutes later I’m right back where I started.”
“Oh God.” I pulled at the collar of my shirt hoping for some relief.
“No. You don’t say ‘Oh God’ in my fantasies. You say ‘Oh Roman!’” He quickly licked his lower lip. “Hearing it is so hot, June. It’s the most satisfying pleasure I’ve ever felt—and all I’m doing is imagining it. I’m a little scared of how good it would feel if it were real.”
I didn’t think Roman could get any hotter but hearing that I was the one and only woman he craved—the only woman he’d ever wanted to give pleasure—it was quite possibly the most erotic thing I’d ever imagined.
Ever.
“I should go.” I needed to get home, take a shower, and have an orgasm. Now.
“Or you could stay.” He took a step toward me. “You could stay right there while I practice on you.”
My knees went weak and he was around me in a flash, holding me up, his mouth at my ear whispering, “Or I could take you home and finally have you in my bed.”
“No. My place.” If I was making a terrible decision I was going to do it in the safety of my own bed.
He pulled back to look in my eyes. “Are you sure?” There was so much hope there that I melted a little deeper into his arms.
“I’m not sure of anything anymore.”
“Don’t say that,” he whispered against my lips just before he kissed me. A real kiss this time. Slow. Intentional. His lips were soft against mine, applying just enough pressure so that I could feel him. Then he pressed harder and his nose ran along mine. I whimpered, holding on tighter as my senses went wild. There was no up or
down, no right or wrong. There was only the rightness of being kissed by Roman St. James.
And it was oh, so very right. I was alive, on fire from the inside out. His reaction was just as telling. He kept pulling me closer even though his kiss was tender. He held me carefully. But the expression on his face might have been the most telling of all. His eyes were closed tight, his lips trembled.
“Does this feel good?” He didn’t open his eyes.
“Yes.” So good.
He kissed me again. Faster this time but no less tenderly. He explored and I let him. He nibbled at my lower lip while he held my face in his hands. Tingles warmed my skin everywhere his thumbs and stubble scraped.
But it was when he slowly tilted his head to the side and ran his tongue along my lower lip that I really started to lose control. I wanted this kiss. Needed it. It was as if something essential from my life had been missing and for the first time I was allowed to drink it in.
Something clicked into place and all I could think was This! Yes, oh, yes, this!
A moan rumbled in the back of his throat as he devoured me. A kiss was a great start but it wasn’t enough. I wanted more.
But not in a locker room.
“My place is two miles from here.”
He kissed me again. “I’ll drive.”
We barely broke apart long enough for him to pull on enough clothes to be decent before we were in his BMW with his hand on my knee, headed toward my apartment. My roommate was away for the weekend so there was no one to explain this to. Just my bed, a man I desperately wanted, and the knowledge that there would be no strings attached to this act of rebellion.
I was going to let Roman give me an amazing orgasm. Depending on my mood I might return the favor. And then we could finally end this complicated dance. No more anticipation.
He kicked my door closed and immediately stripped his shirt back off. “I liked feeling you against my skin,” he said as he crushed me against him.
I liked it too.
“My room.” I pointed to the door on the left.
I was airborne as he threw me over his strong shoulder and walked me to bed. “I finally get it.” He dropped me gently on the comforter. “This is fun. I knew sex felt good but I didn’t know it could be fun.” He shrugged.