Ouai…you did the right thing.
* * * *
In the nursery, Rachael ran the gamut of emotions. She was furious with Julien for pulling such a stunt and coercing Sarah to join him in his deliberate, deceitful behavior; yet he claimed to be hell-bent on regaining her trust. She was equally angry with Sarah for allowing it, or for not having the ability to understand why she should not have allowed it. Giving Julien that wishbone could have ended disastrously…But it didn’t, she thought.
Why hadn’t she thought to correct her ill-worded wish and bring their friends back? For a brief moment, she began to wonder if Julien had been right, that the wishes were immoral, and then she looked down at her sleeping angel. This can never happen again, she told herself. She had only begun to rebuild her trust for Julien and trusting him again could be tragic. Satisfied the baby was safe; Rachael left the nursery to find Sarah washing dishes in the kitchen.
“What were you thinking?” Rachael hissed from the doorway.
Sarah, alarmed, dropped a handful of silverware to clatter at the bottom of the sink. She gasped and spun around to face Rachael.
Rachael moved slowly toward her. On the counter sat the hacked remnants of the chicken carcass. She dug her finger into the bird where the wishbone had once been, then shoved the bird into the sink, irritably clearing the counter with a fast sweep of her arms. Sarah crouched to the floor as if expecting a beating. At the sight of the girl’s terror, Rachael’s anger amplified. She squatted down beside her.
“Never,” she snarled, “never trust him! Do you hear me?”
Sarah nodded emphatically as she scanned the floor for an escape route.
“Do you know what he could have done?” Rachael asked, remembering the sleeping baby above and lowering her voice. “He’s not your friend, Sarah. I…am your friend,” she said adamantly. “He wanted you gone and he wants Jessica gone!”
Sarah pressed her back into the cabinets as she sat trembling. She shook her head slowly in protest against Rachael’s words.
“No, no Sarah. Don’t get confused here. God knows what his plan is. We’ve both been too trusting lately,” she tried to console her, “and what he pulled out there is proof.”
Sarah narrowed her eyes; she was confused and hurt. Her head cocked as she listened to Rachael.
“Do you understand me, Sarah? Do you? He is using you.” Rachael reached for Sarah’s arm, but the girl scrambled to the right, skidding along the slate floor on her hands and newly scraped knees.
“Hey!” Rachael snapped and reached out to grab her, but missed. “Sarah, listen to me...”
Sarah shook her head resentfully and scurried under the table and out the other side.
Rachael had hoped to scare Sarah back into a position of loyalty, but she could see she was crossing the fine line and only succeeding in making the girl less trusting.
She toned it down, “Okay, Sarah…it’s okay...” Rachael got to her feet, but before she could move around the table to join her, Sarah was up and running for the door.
“Wait Sarah, no! I didn’t mean…God, damn it!” Rachael shoved a chair out of her way in frustration.
From the kitchen window, she watched Sarah dart around the house. There was no use in chasing after her; she moved like streaked lightening.
Rachael assured herself the girl would be back. She would not stay away from Julien for long. She sat down at the table, her head in her hands. What have I done? What am I doing? Why am I the only one who seems to be happy? The world was their oyster, yet her own husband couldn’t see it. She thought to herself, Julien had not wished the baby away. He hadn’t even wished himself to be healed. His wish had been for the benefit of others. He saved lives.
With the exception of Jessica, all of Rachael’s wishes had been for things. Worse, she had wished Julien pain and suffering. She tried to comfort herself by reasoning that Julien would have experienced that pain regardless had they never been given the miracle of the wishbones. After all, he was the one who didn’t want the wishes. Her guilt crept back as she once again rode the rollercoaster of instability, always returning to the simple fact that Julien had selflessly brought back Lily and Matt. That was all he had wanted. She fought back tears, confused and disappointed in herself, she began to sob.
“What am I doing?” she asked herself aloud as she fumbled for a pack of cigarettes in the pocket of Julien’s leather jacket, hanging on the back of the chair beside her. Out of reach, she brought the jacket into her lap. She could smell the scent of him on the jacket’s lining. She missed him. Pushing her hair back behind an ear, she took a long drag off a smoke then chewed at her pinky nail deep in thought. Sarah was mad at her now. Who knows…there may be no more wishes after this anyway, she warned herself then thought of the large number of chickens remaining in the barn—an embarrassing comfort to her. She figured Sarah had run off to the coop and thought to walk over and apologize, but before she could make the effort, her mind wandered again, this time to the city.
She thought about those months prior to their move: how Julien had stuck it out, no matter how badly she treated him, or how sick she had become. She thought about their first days in the Victorian, how quickly she had regained her confidence. How she had kept her pregnancy a secret from him for months, and how he could have been irreconcilably angry. She could not have blamed him if he had left her then, alone in that apartment, isolated and losing her mind... but he hadn’t. He had taken care of her. Dealt with whatever she threw at him, with the patience of a saint, yet now she had the power to take away any pain or problem he would ever experience and instead she was the one inflicting it upon him. She cringed in disgrace and sobbed again.
* * * *
Sarah came through the trees allowing for a distant view of the pool. She mumbled and turned in circles, banging her tightly-clenched fists against her thighs. She stopped, panting and confused, then peeked through the trees once more. She could see Julien in the chaise lounge sound asleep and bit down hard on the knuckle of a crooked finger. She began pounding her fist repeatedly against her forehead in frustration. She turned around again in several small circles and shut her eyes tight then pressed her fists firmly into their sockets; colorful fireworks exploded in the darkness as she applied pressure. She rocked for a long while, attempting to calm herself with the soothing motion, but her agitation was unwavering. She opened her eyes, anguished; she continued to watch Julien through the foliage.
* * * *
Before he felt it, the cracking sound of an explosive slap startled Julien awake. His eyes shot open just as the chaise crashed over on its side, taking him with it to the cement. The metal attached to his leg slammed to the ground with an unforgiving whack, knocking the wind out of him. With no time to recover, he felt himself rising and knew immediately—Jérome. He tried to grip the edge of the cement where it met the grass, but it was just out of reach. He struggled to drag himself away, but Jérome had a tight hold on the device. He gave Julien a hard tug followed by the sound of tearing material as he took hold of Julien’s shirt, lifting him into the air and tossing him to the grass several feet away with a loud thud.
Julien, propelled by adrenaline, flipped himself over to face his father, but lay there defenseless.
You can’t fight him.
Don’t fight him.
This is it.
Just give up.
I give up.
Let him do it.
Do it fast.
Please, do it fast.
Jérome came toward Julien again, this time twisting the neck of his shirt tightly around a winding fist below his chin, enough to hamper Julien’s ability to breathe. Jérome hoisted his son upright with one hand, but Julien’s body refused to comply. Jérome cruelly slammed him back against a tree to steady his target.
“Julien!” Rachael cried, stunned by what she was witnessing. She couldn’t make sense of the scene, as she watched his body move unnaturally, flying backward against a tree. She rushed fro
m the side of the house catching sight of Sarah looking on from the far end of the pool.
Jérome had Julien braced against the bark as he pulled his fist back, ready to strike. The sound of Rachael screaming stopped him in mid-motion and he turned to look at her running in their direction. Jérome spun his head back around to find Sarah who stood silently watching them. He let go of Julien, dropping him to the ground then vanishing just as Rachael passed through his apparition.
“Julien…Julien,” Rachael whimpered, throwing herself down beside him. She looked over toward the trees. “Sarah!” she screamed for the girl to help.
Sarah was backing away, but froze at the sound of her name then timidly obeyed Rachael and stepped carefully out beside the pool.
“Sarah, come! Help me.” Rachael looked at Julien lying motionless face-down in the grass. His eyes were open, but he was unresponsive.
“Jules, please…” Frightened, she pleaded with him to respond then pressed her ear to his back and listened for a heartbeat. She sat up, pulling at her own hair by the fistful.
“What the fuck!” she screamed at Sarah, out of her mind with dismay. What was that? What just happened?
Sarah kept a few feet of distance from Rachael, but stood quietly beside them ringing her hands nervously and rocking back and forth. Confused, she couldn’t please Rachael, who at times said horrible things about Julien and at other times seemed to protect him.
Tears streamed down Rachael’s face, she yelled at Sarah, though she knew there would be no explanation, her voice reaching a blood curdling pitch. “What happened? What was he doing?”
Sarah’s rocking became more frenetic as she mumbled and absently looked up at some leaves fluttering from a long branch weighted by ripe apples.
“You just stand there!” she yelled. “You just fucking watch!” Rachael made the slightest attempt to turn Julien over, causing him agonizing pain. Relieved to hear him make a sound, any sound, she wasn’t sure if she should apologize or thank God; she released him immediately.
“You have to get up, Jules,” she said. “What happened? What did you do, baby?”
A gurgling sound escaped him and he choked; blood, dark and thick with sputum, splattered the grass beside his mouth.
“I’m sorry,” she bawled. “I’m so sorry.” Her guilt and shame, the sight of him, the chaos; it felt like something had eaten a hole through her heart. “I can call Dr. Lind…”
Sarah took a step back.
“…the ambulance…I’ll call an ambulance.” Rachael reached out to touch him but thought better of it, and pulled her hands in toward herself, unsure.
Julien did not respond.
“Jules!” she screamed, her panic rearing again. “Tell me what to do? How do I help you?” She wiped at her face with a shirtsleeves. “I don’t know what’s happening.”
She tore out the grass on either side of her in a violent burst of frustration. “What the hell were you trying to do?” she stammered.
Julien lay unmoving. He could feel his lungs taking on fluid.
I can’t breathe.
It’s easier to die.
She will never stop.
He envisioned his own imminent death.
A welcome moment it will be.
Rachael crouched close and whispered softly, “Julien…please. Baby, please tell me what to do? I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I’ll explain this.”
Rachael recalled their conversation on the night Julien had come from the barn, beaten without explanation. She still did not know what to believe, but she knew what Julien believed. She had witnessed him moving toward the trees in a way not humanly possible and certainly not on a broken leg. Could it be true? His father manifesting? How could that be? How is that possible? Her mind reeled at a dizzying rate and she moved instinctively to hold him in her arms, but she knew she would only hurt him.
He choked and she watched his lips inaudibly mouth the words, “Go away.”
Rachael sat up. What have I done? She remained beside him for a moment, his words replaying in her mind endlessly. He hates me. I deserve to be hated. She had no excuse for her behavior and the choices she had made, and now she could not fathom where the behavior had come from, or what could make her act in this way. It was as if she had no control over herself any longer.
She waved silently to gain Sarah’s attention, then pointed to Julien and patted the ground. Sarah did as instructed and came closer, sensing that Rachael was no longer angry.
Rachael got to her feet and Sarah exchanged places with her, sitting on the ground beside Julien and watching Rachael walk away calmly. Sarah cocked her head for a better view of Julien’s face. He lay there, eyes closed, breathing compromised. Gently, she pet his hair. He didn’t make a sound, or tell her to go away, like he had to Rachael. She lowered herself to lie in the grass, facing him. Julien opened his eyes just enough for Sarah to see a hint of their olive green color. She smiled, oblivious to the severity of the situation.
Julien found her hand resting directly beside his in the grass. He moved his fingers over hers. Slowly he dragged it closer to his chest, holding it pressed to his body. Once again, he closed his eyes. If he was going to die, he was suddenly afraid to be alone.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Rachael stood before the art studio closet quickly tossing items aside to reveal her hiding place at the back of a supply shelf. She found the small box once containing acrylic paint. She removed one of nine accumulated wishbones, which she and Sarah had begun storing in advance of their need. Rachael no longer felt content preparing the bones wish by wish and preferred to hoard a stockpile. She returned each item to its proper location and left the room. She paused briefly at the base of the staircase and listened for the baby. The upper level of the house was quiet. She picked up her pace and rushed out the front door.
She rounded the corner of the house preparing her wish. She saw Sarah, lying close to Julien in the grass; a knot formed in the pit of her stomach. She chastised herself for the surge of jealousy crowding her thoughts as Julien lay there on the brink of death. She had no right to be jealous. She was to blame for everything. She wondered if he would ever speak to her again, nevertheless pack his bags and leave her the moment he could physically walk away. She slowed her pace and the thought of Julien wanting to get back at her for all she had done crept back into her conscience. Seeing him beside Sarah and knowing they were growing closer—he could easily take Jessica away with Sarah at his side. She approached the grass and saw he was clutching the girl’s hand. The gurgling sound escaped Julien’s lungs again; the blood bubbling from his lips, now a frothy pink foam. She watched his back heave with short, jerking gulps of air. She was panicked and torn. The only thing she knew for sure was that Jessica had a right to live out her life; a life that Julien could easily take away.
She couldn’t think about it anymore. Thinking only rendered her more confused and afraid. Julien took care of her during her darkest hours; she owed him this. She returned to her husband where she knelt beside him. She tenderly placed one hand on his back and held the wishbone above him in the other. She gave a nod to Sarah and closed her eyes.
Sarah refused to take her hand away from Julien’s grasp and had to contort her body to bring her free arm out from under to take an awkward hold on the bone. She did not close her eyes, but waited for Rachael’s signal.
Tink!
Rachael tossed her half of the bone into the trees behind her without so much as a glance for its size—Julien is the only one winning the game today and Sarah will make sure of it.
Sarah twirled the other half between two fingers, studying it as if it were something new.
Looking down upon Julien, Rachael wiped dry her swollen eyes. She looked up at Sarah; the pangs of jealousy threatening to return. He doesn’t want me…his wife. He was afraid of her…now he holds her hand. Sarah…the little retarded girl he wanted nothing to do with.
Rachael rapidly sank into martyrdom. She believe
d she deserved whatever punishment Julien would bestow upon her. She no longer had control over her haphazard thinking or erratic reasoning and she was well aware of it. The mood swings and battle between good and evil going on within her was tormenting and fast becoming unbearable.
“Stay with him,” Rachael told Sarah as she got to her feet. Why had she bothered to say it? The girl would have remained beside Julien regardless of Rachael’s instruction. She walked back to the house and immediately went to Jessica’s crib. Careful not to wake her sleeping daughter, she carried the baby to the bedroom where she crawled into bed, wondering if Jessica would still be in her protective arms when she woke.
* * * *
The air was thick with humidity. Large droplets sporadically pelted Julien’s cheeks. The rain gained momentum and he opened his eyes to find Sarah laying there awake, staring at him.
We’re outside.
We’re in the grass.
Jérome…
The events of his last altercation with his father came back to him. He ached from a night beneath the trees on the cold, hard ground. He released Sarah’s hand and raised his upper body to have a look around. More details flooded his memory and he turned onto his side, able to move more easily than he had in weeks.
It’s gone.
Still dressed in a one-legged pair of sweatpants, his bare leg was void of the device he had fallen to the grass wearing the night before. Swiftly, he flipped over in disbelief and sat up. Sarah sat up beside him. He looked at her, then back at his leg. He traced angry red scars with his fingers as he pondered the wording of their wish. Quickly overcome by the urge to get up, he decided he didn’t care how she had worded it, so long as the apparatus was removed. Fearfully, he took a step; the rain was picking up intensity. He felt only a slight sensation of soreness. He took a few more steps toward the very tree he had been violently thrown against. A palm to its bark, he gained confidence in his stability as he circled the tree in awe. Satisfied, he turned back to a beaming Sarah, her hair and dress quickly soaking up the rain.
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