“I know, Mother,” Trix replied in a muffled voice, “and I love you for it, but sometimes you have to let me make my own decisions.”
“Would you be open to a suggestion?” I asked Trix.
“That depends,” Trix replied cautiously, still being smothered in Tracey's embrace. “What is it?”
“How about we all went on this expedition of yours?” I proposed. “Thorn, myself, Nix and Zenith could come along as well. There's safety in numbers, you know.”
“You're not going too, are you?” Tracey questioned me in dismay.
“Of course not,” I replied. “As if I’d ever leave you alone. I'll go with Thorn but I'll stay here with you as well. Thank goodness for Phil and his dual-clone genius.”
“Yes, thank goodness,” Tracey murmured, releasing Trix and taking my hand. “Remind me to thank him.”
“So, Trix,” I asked, “what do you say? How about making it an all family affair?”
“I don't see why not,” she said, thoughtfully. “As you say, a group would be safer. We don't really know what's out there after all. Yes, I think it'd be for the best. I'll tell Janoma tomorrow.”
“And when were you thinking of going?” Thorn asked.
“As soon as possible, I suppose,” Trix shrugged. “Why wait around?” Then she smiled eagerly. “Actually, I'm looking forward to getting back to the wilderness once more. The settlement is fine, but I’ve been raised outside and, despite all the hardships out there, I sometimes get a little nostalgic.”
“That’s settled, then,” I stated. “Let's go and collect Nix,” I told Thorn. “Knowing him, he'll probably jump at the invitation.”
“Yes,” Thorn grimaced. “He's weird that way.”
Chapter 13
And so it was decided. Trix reported back that her boyfriend initially hadn’t been too enthusiastic about the added members to the expedition, but had finally accepted it under pressure from her. Meanwhile, Thorn and I were knocking at Nix's door.
“Well, well,” he announced when he saw us, “and what do have we here? One make-believe fairy and a gorgeous, overactive sexpot. I’ll leave you two to work out which one is what. Presumably you’ve come with some sort of a request to indulge in another wild and danger-filled adventure. No, don't tell me!” he exclaimed, closing his eyes and holding his hand against his forehead. “I'm psychic, you know. We'll be going on a mysterious quest, chasing after some unattainable and impossible-to-find article, tramping through unimaginable terrain, beset with ferocious and savage beasts. Am I right?”
“That's exactly right,” I told him. “I don't know how you know these things. You must be psychic.”
“It's a gift,” he said, modestly. “What's it about this time?”
“It's actually all about Trix,” I informed him. “She’s somehow got herself entangled with this dubious character called Janoma who wants her to go searching for elf relics which, I believe, he wants to sell in his uncle’s shop. I'm worried that he's just using her for his own ends.”
“Well, we can't have that,” Nix stated. “Trix is part of our family so you can count me in. But there’s one slight problem.”
“And what's that?” Thorn asked.
“It's you, my dear,” Nix replied, leering at her. “Are you sure this isn't simply a ploy on your part for us to be alone in the wilderness so you can have your wicked way with me? Of course, I'll understand if that’s the case. After all, how can you resist the call of irresistible passion? I know you won’t be able to keep your hands off me.” Despite Thorn’s heartfelt groans, he continued. “Just imagine,” he maintained, looking upwards and sweeping his hand overhead in a grand gesture. “You and me, under the magical influence of the night, with the lights shining romantically down on our entwined bodies. Doesn't the mere thought of it make you shiver?”
“Yes, with revulsion!” Thorn declared, spluttering with outrage. “You horrible toad! As if that scenario would ever be true! I'd have to be drunk out of my mind, and even then there's no possible way! Ugh! The very idea!”
“She's a genius at suppressing her real feelings, isn't she?” Nix remarked, winking at me. “I know it's only a matter of time before she recognises that and throws herself bodily in my direction. You can be the best man at our wedding, Stephen.”
“What!” Thorn squealed, hopping up and down indignantly, wings fluttering. “Marriage? Are you out of your mind? I'm happen to be sane, you know, which is more than I can say for you!”
“Ah, these young fairies!” Nix sighed, genially. “So infatuated, so romantic, so fiery and so unsure of what they really want out of life. Still, my dear, “ Nix proclaimed in an overdramatic oily voice, taking Thorn's hands in his, “I’ll wait for you, you know. Get rid of Stephen in the meantime, why don't you? All he’s giving you is a wholesome, loving fulfilment, while I’m offering you nights brimming over with wild, animal passion. What do you say to that, my delicious little dumpling?”
“You're insane!” Thorn giggled, slapping his hands away. “You get worse every time I see you. I think you need some medication.”
“I think so too,” Nix agreed, “because I keep going on these weird trips with the both of you. Seriously now, what's really going on?”
“It's just what I’ve said,” I told him. “I wouldn't trust Janoma to tie my shoelaces! I'm sure he’s up to something and Trix is too besotted with him to see it. I'm actually going along to keep an eye on him, as much as to protect Trix. Are you coming? I’d certainly welcome your company.”
“Of course I'll come,” Nix replied. “I'll go anywhere to be near that titillating paramour of yours.”
“Don't start that again!” Thorn complained. “I still hadn't recovered from the idea of our marriage.”
“Yes,” Nix congratulating himself, “it was one of my better efforts, wasn't it?”
“It certainly was,” Thorn agreed. “I thought I was going to have a heart attack.”
“From sheer joy?” Nix enquired, with a twinkle in his eye.
“From sheer shock!” contradicted Thorn.
“Everyone's a critic,” Nix sniffed.
Chapter 14
Nix, Thorn and I arrived at the settlement to find that Trix had already organised the supplies for our trip. Our departing was delayed for an hour while I made a hurried return to my human body for food, drink and mild exercise. Upon my return, Tracey bid us all a tearful farewell and enjoined us all to take special care of her ‘baby’. Thorn and Nix rolled their eyes at this, but we all faithfully promised to do so, and then headed outwards into the wilderness. As we walked along, I asked Trix if this expedition was going to be a random sort of hit-and-miss affair, or whether she had some specific destinations in mind.
“The last time we did this sort of thing,” I reminded her, “you heard ‘voices’ directing you to that ruined temple.* There's nothing like that this time is there?”
“No, but I do have some idea of where to go,” she admitted. “The voices gave me a mental map to follow at the time and that map included other places as well. I'm following that.”
“At least it's something,” I grunted. “It's certainly better than wandering around blindly. Do you really expect to find anything?”
“I have no idea,” she shrugged. “All I have is references on a mental map that I remember. Judging by the ruined temple we found last time, I'm not very optimistic about finding anything intact. But, who knows?” I dropped back to talk with Thorn, and Janoma took my place at Trix’s side.
“Snooty little thing, isn't he?” Nix remarked, joining Thorn and myself and looking ahead at Janoma. “He's barely said a word to any of us since we started.”
“He is a bit standoffish,” I agreed. “I don't think he’s too happy to have us along.”
“And I wonder why that is?” Thorn said sarcastically. “Is it because he knows we're on to him, or because he doesn't want to share anything Trix finds? You know, I think you're right, Stephen. The more I know him, the less
I trust him. There's something about his manner I just don't like.” She glanced at me, smiling ruefully. “Maybe I've been hanging around you and your suspicious mind too long. I'm starting to think like you.”
“Speaking of which,” Nix interjected, “how’s that double clone thing of yours working out? I saw the other you with Traculimna before we left and I have to say it's amazing! You're identical!” Then he smirked at Thorn. “Of course, anyone can see that Traculimna’s Stephen is much more handsome.”
Immediately, Thorn jump to my defence without thinking. “He is not!” she stoutly exclaimed.
“Yes, he is,” Nix replied, gleefully provoking her. “It's obvious that Traculimna had first choice. Did you lose at cards or something, and had to take what was left after your sister’s pick?”
“Stop it, you horrible borgulessa!” Thorn told him, laughing. “I know what you're up to. You won't stir me up so easily this time.”
“Hey, it’s just a truthful observation,” he replied, innocently. “It's not my fault if you can't see what's in front of your own nose. Your Stephen is evidently an inferior product. When you get back home I'd seriously recommend that you do a trade.”
Thorn playfully punched Nix on the arm. “Enough!” she commanded, giggling. “Keep your libellous comments to yourself if you don't mind. I'm fully satisfied with the Stephen I have, thank you very much.”
“If you say so,” Nix grinned. He turned to me. “Anyway, back to my original question: what's it feel like to be split in two?”
“Very peculiar,” I answered truthfully. “I'm still not used to it. For instance, I'm here talking to you and, at the same time, I'm with Tracey.”
“And doing what, may I ask?” Nix questioned, grinning evilly.
“That's none of your business!” I replied, flushing a little. “Keep your prying goblin nose out of my private life, if you don’t mind.”
“Oh ho!” he chortled. “Sorry for breaking in at such an …….. ahem, awkward moment. Don't let me stop you. Go back to your ……ah, private life. I hope Traculimna didn't mind the interruption too much.”
“You know,” I remarked, looking speculatively at him, “Thorn is right. You really are a terrible person. Remind me again why we let you come on these outings of ours?”
“Because I keep you all grounded in reality,” Nix defended. “Without me, your lives would be dull and unimaginative. I say the things you're all thinking.”
“No, you don't,” Thorn contradicted. “You say those things I can't even begin to imagine, not even in my wildest nightmares.”
“If I thought you were serious,” Nix remarked, “I'd be totally devastated by that remark. Fortunately, I know you're joking in order to mask your true feelings. Arugohumna, my dear, I know you lay awake at night yearning for me, but try to control yourself around Stephen, okay? No more subtle hints or hidden innuendos, all right? Try and keep your lust for me out of sight for now. Stephen might become suspicious if you keep throwing out these little insinuations all over the place. Play it cool, baby.”
Even for Nix, this was hilariously outrageous. Thorn was torn between hysterical laughter and homicide, sorry, goblinicide.
“We'll have to kill him,” Thorn confided to me after she'd recovered her composure. “There's no other alternative open to us. We can't allow him to breed, that's for sure. He’s contaminating the gene pool enough as it is.”
“Not bad,” Nix diffidently replied. “I'd give you six out of ten for that comment.”
“Only six?” Thorn declared, offended. “It was worth way more than that! Nine at least.”
“Nine?” Nix exclaimed. “Don’t be ridiculous! ‘Nine’ would mean that there was a modicum of intelligence involved, and we both know that's impossible.”
“Why, you …….. you ……” Thorn stammered, at a loss for sufficiently virulent words to describe her feelings. She took a deep breath. “One of these days …….” she threatened, “ ….. one of these days, you're going to be so sorry.” Then she paused, thoughtfully. “What the devil does ‘play it cool, baby’ mean, by the way?”
Nix shrugged. “I heard Stephen say it once,” he confessed. “I think it's something to do with an infant not wearing enough warm clothing.”
“You two are crazy,” I confirmed, “but you do make life interesting.”
*See ‘Trix.(3)’
Chapter 15
The next hour passed amiably enough. Thorn, Nix and I were in one group with Trix and Janoma out ahead, holding hands and whispering to each other. For some reason that began to really annoy me. Zenith, as usual, was by himself, exploring his immediate surroundings by running around like a demented wombat and sniffing at everything. However, I noticed that he refused to go anywhere near Janoma, even when Trix urged him to do so.
“Wonder Wolf has more sense in his front paw than his owner has in her whole body,” Nix mumbled as he, too, observed Zenith’s reluctance to associate with Trix’s boyfriend. “Can't she see what's going on with that twit?”
“She’s in love,” Thorn casually remarked. “That allows you a certain degree of blindness.”
“Love?” Nix snorted disdainfully. “The gods preserve me from such a fate!”
“One day, my dear Nix,” Thorn proclaimed with amusement, “you're going to fall in love and I'm going to poke fun at you unmercifully.”
“That day is already here,” Nix declared, hand on heart. “You've swept me away already, my delicious darling. You make my senses swoon with the very sight of you.” He fell to one knee and grasped Thorn's hand. “Gentle maiden,” he facetiously declared, “be mine. I crave for you incessantly.”
“Get up, you silly sausage!” Thorn exclaimed, looking around in embarrassment. “What do you think you're playing at?”
Laughing, Nix jumped to his feet. “Just having a bit of fun,” he declared. “You should have seen your face! It was priceless! Honestly, Arugohumna, you're a prankster’s dream come true.”
“One day you're going to go too far, you horrible borgulessa,” Thorn threatened, “and I'll be only too happy to beat the stuffing out of you.”
“Yeah, right!” Nix declared, raising his eyebrows incredulously. “As if that day could ever happen. You? Beat the stuffing out of me? Hah! In your dreams, fairy!”
“Just you wait and see,” Thorn promised, waving her fist at Nix. “Just you wait and see. That day is coming, believe me, and when it does, you’re going to be so sorry.”
Following Trix’s mental map, we entered a rocky walled canyon and were about halfway through when Zenith suddenly began growling and looking around frantically. We all stopped and observed his antics in amazement.
“What's up with Wonder Wolf?” Nix demanded, glancing to right and left. “I can't see anything unusual.”
“His senses are more acute than ours,” I commented. “There must be something happening. Stay alert!”
We formed in a circle around Zenith who then began snapping at the air for some inexplicable reason. Thorn drew her sword, vainly looking for an opponent, but nothing eventuated. No drooling monster appeared, and there wasn't a single sign of anything out of the ordinary.
“What's going on, Trix?” I asked in puzzlement. “What's Zenith trying to tell us?”
“I don't know!” she replied, frustrated. “I've never seen him do this before. Zenith, calm down!” Zenith responded by barking at her, bolting from the circle and sprinting up the canyon.
“What the hell!” Nix exclaimed. “Where’s he going?”
“I haven't the faintest idea,” I replied, beginning to run, “but I'm going with him. He’s obviously running to safety and I'd advise you all to do the same.” Everybody followed my lead and began to chase after Zenith, who, by this time, appeared as a grey blur in the distance.
“I don't understand,” panted Thorn, running beside me. “What's he doing?”
“I'm not sure,” I replied, “but I trust Zenith's instincts more than I trust my own. Something bad is
going down, but we just can't see it as yet. Save your breath and keep running.”
The ‘bad’ something made itself felt a few seconds later. A horrendous noise suddenly erupted and the ground shook like a bag full of rats. I was thrown off my feet, but managed to cushion Thorn as she fell to the ground beside me.
“What's happening?” she shouted in my ear as I held her tightly, shielding her from small rocks that were falling all around us.
“Earthquake!” I shouted back at her.
“Where Zenith?” I heard Trix cry out.
“We're all going to die!” Janoma screamed in panic.
“We will if we stay here!” I yelled above the noise. “We have to get out of this canyon. There's too much chance of an avalanche. Everyone on their feet!” I heard barking and saw Zenith close by. He must have doubled back for us.
“Follow Zenith!” I commanded. “He knows the safest way out of this place.”
We all staggered upright. The ground wasn't shaking so much anymore, although I knew the next tremor could strike at any moment. Taking advantage of the present relative stability of the ground, we sprinted after Zenith who confidently led us through the dust and debris. Janoma continually moaned to himself about death and destruction, until Trix told him to keep quiet. Another tremor occurred a few minutes later, although it wasn't as severe as the first one. We huddled together in a group, holding onto each other for reinforcement. Janoma began wailing once more and Trix had to speak sharply to him before he stopped. After a minute or two, Zenith shook himself and jogged off again. We followed him in a ragged line as he shepherded us to the end of the canyon where we climbed up a steep rise and emerged back on level ground once more. Zenith stopped and looked around at us, tongue hanging out. I could almost see his smile of satisfaction.
Trix rushed over and patted him joyfully. “Who's a clever boy?” she asked, rhetorically. “Who's the smartest wolf in the whole world?” She scratched energetically behind his ears, much to Zenith's delight. “You are!” she claimed, answering her own question. “You clever, clever boy!”
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