“Yeah, no problem,” he replied nonchalantly.
“Should we get started?” My voice cracked from the nerves. I cleared my throat and continued. “I can you show you all of the research I did this morning?”
He looked at me again, and this time there was determination in his eyes. “Fine, let’s get this done and over with.”
Wow! How was I going to deal with this ass for the next two weeks? I didn’t care how bad I needed this grade—or how hot he was—I was going to have a hard time controlling my temper if he kept this shit up. “Whatever,” I mumbled under my breath, sitting down on the chair next to him.
“So here is what I found so far,” I said as I pulled out all of the papers I’d printed that morning, as well as the pieces of the textbook I’d highlighted. He reached into his bag and pulled out a ton of his own research. I looked it over and realized that we actually made a pretty good team—his research reinforced what I had already looked up.
“Wow, Caleb, this is awesome. At least I know I wasn’t the only one working hard this morning,” I said with surprise.
I expected him to have some sort of snide comment, but instead he shocked me. “This all looks good, let’s see what we can use for the assignment,” he said surprised, but still without looking at me.
We worked for the next two hours, each examining the others research and deciding which direction we wanted to go with the assignment. The time flew, and we got a lot accomplished. I felt more confident about the assignment, and about working with Caleb.
“It’s good to know I have a partner who thinks like me,” he said with a smile.
“I think that is the first time you have actually been nice to me, without me yelling at you first,” I laughed.
I saw the uncomfortable look on his face—at least he had the decency to feel embarrassed about his behavior. He leaned forward on his elbows, resting his chin in his palms. “Look.” His loud exhale made it seem like he was about to impart something profound, but something that he really didn’t want to share. “I don’t mean to be an ass. There are just things about me people don’t know.” He closed his eyes and I could see his breath become shallow as his chest moved up and down rapidly. “There are…things. Things that have happened. You remind me of someone, and it took me by surprise.” His eyes raised to meet mine. “I am sorry though. You didn’t deserve that,” he said sadly.
Holy shit! He was comparing me to someone else? So that is why he didn’t want to work with me. How was I supposed to respond to that? I knew I had to say something. After all, I knew what it was like to have a past you wanted to forget.
“I get it, we all have stuff in our lives that we’d like to forget. Some more so than others. We’ll get the project done and it’ll all be good.”
He nodded and we began cleaning up the research on the table and setting it into piles to take home to continue working on. At one point, we both reached for the same book and our hands touched. I looked over my shoulder and his head turned towards me at the same time. Our eyes locked and felt the current run between the two of us. Slowly he started to lean into me, as if he was going to kiss me. I watched him get within an inch of my lips before he gave his head a hard shake. In that moment, his eyes clouded over and he jumped out of his seat.
“Sorry, I have to go,” he said as he grabbed his stuff and bolted out the door.
What the fuck was up with him? That was the second time he’d run out on me. Worse yet, I knew he’d been about to kiss me. Where did that come from? I knew that I was attracted to him—every time I was near him I felt the current between us. But I wondered if he felt it too. I was so confused.
I packed up my stuff and got up slowly. It was Friday and I was done with classes for the week, so I headed back to the apartment.
I knew Emily had a date tonight—she always had a date on Friday. Heather and Jillian were headed home for the weekend. They had grown up together, only living a few blocks apart, They were going to Virginia Beach for spring break, so they wanted to get in a visit with each of their parents before then.
I decided to watch some mindless TV while I reviewed the research Caleb and I had divided up today. Emily came back from her job in housing around six. She was rushing around the place like a crazy person, but it wasn’t like that was a rare occurrence. Every Friday was the same—she would come running in from work, acting like there was no way she was going to have enough time to get ready before her date picked her up. She was always done with more than enough time, but then complained when her date wasn’t there immediately. She was crazy, but I loved her anyway.
“So who is it tonight?” I asked.
“Andrew Bentley from the football team,” she said wistfully. Then in true Emily style, changed topics. “How did your afternoon with Caleb go?”
“Interesting…that is the only word I have,” I replied with a frown.
She stopped in her tracks and turned to look at me. “Elaborate, please.”
Slowly she walked over, sat on the couch and I told her what had happened with Caleb in the library.
“You mean to tell me he almost kissed you in the library. Have you guys ever even spoken before yesterday?” she shrieked.
“No, but worse than that he seemed so sad about whatever happened.” And I had to wonder if he was trying to forget about an old girlfriend from high school who broke up with him.
“Angie, you should know more than anyone that people can have awful things happen to them, things they would prefer not to talk about.”
“I know, but I can’t get that feeling out of my head.”
“What feeling, sweetie?” she asked tilting her head.
“That electric jolt I get every time we touch. It’s the most powerful attraction I have ever had to someone.” I was still worried that he may be comparing me to an ex—plus, he freaked out and walked away from me. I knew that neither of those were good signs.
“Like my mom always says, “things always happen for a reason”, and this is no different. You’ll figure it out. Until then kick back and relax, because tomorrow you better be ready to go out, and we are getting you drunk!” She looked down at her phone, “Shit I have to get ready!”
Emily continued to run around but she was cutting it close and—for the first time since I had known her—Emily’s date showed up before she was ready. The intercom buzzed, and I walked over to answer it. “Hello?”
“Hey, it’s Andrew.”
“Hold on, I’ll buzz the door.” I got up and walked over to buzz the door.
“Can you stall him for a few minutes? I’m almost done,” Emily shouted from the bathroom.
“Sure, no problem,” I laughed. Hearing a knock on the door, I went over to open it and let Andrew into the apartment.
“Hey Andrew, Emily will be ready in a minute. Come on in.”
“Thanks Angie. How’s it going?” he asked after he sat down on the chair next to the couch.
“Pretty good, I’m totally ready for spring break though. I hate midterms.”
“I know what you mean. Hey, did you know we’re having a party this weekend? You and Emily should come,” Andrew offered.
“Maybe. She’s got some kind of plan for us this weekend, but I’m not sure what it is yet,” I laughed and so did he.
Emily walked out of the bedroom, “What are you two laughing at?”
“Nothing,” I snickered as she shot me a dirty look.
“Wow, Emily!” You could see the lust written all over Andrew’s face as his eyes took in Emily’s low-cut halter dress. “I was just telling Angie that you guys should come to the party this weekend.”
“Oh we’ll be there,” she said giving me a look that clearly told me not to even think of backing out.
“Awesome. Are you ready to go?” Andrew asked.
“Absolutely!” she turned to look at me, winked and mouthed for me to not wait up.
I laughed as they headed out the door and got my laptop out. I figured I would get s
ome work done since I obviously was not going to get much done this weekend. I figured I would check my email first and there it was.
Angie,
I think we got a lot accomplished today and now that we’ve gone over how we want to proceed with the project, I think that we should be able to finish it via email. If you let me know what you find in your stack and then we can complete the rest of the tasks. Have a good weekend.
Caleb
This guy was really starting to piss me off! He was the one who tried to kiss me, but then he figures he can blow me off in an email? Fine with me. I decided to email him back. I probably should have waited until I calmed down, but I wasn’t always rational.
Caleb,
Fine and I will have a WONDERFUL weekend!
Angie
Now I wasn’t so worried about going to the party with Emily tomorrow night. After the last few days, I was definitely going to need a drink. I ended up completing most of my homework and got a good start on the project. That done, I decided to go to bed and deal with the rest of the shit on Tuesday.
I knew sending Angie that email was probably adding fuel to the fire. She was going to flip out, but I knew that my resistance was crumbling, and there was a chance that next time I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from kissing her. I wouldn’t drag her into my shit. I had enough problems to deal with, so even if I was attracted to her, it really didn’t matter. Even if she had ghosts of her own, mine were darker than she could ever imagine. I needed to get my thoughts off her. It was bad enough I had class with her, but I didn’t even know she was in class with me until two days ago. Now that I knew she was there I don’t think I would be able to ignore her, but I’d have to try.
I would hit the party Andrew was having tonight, have a few beers and hide from reality for a while. With that in mind, I checked my email and saw that Angie had responded yesterday—almost right after I sent my email.
Caleb,
Fine and I will have a WONDERFUL weekend!
Angie
Shit, she was pissed. Maybe this was for the best. I could still get the project done without being around her and worrying about where being near her might lead. There was so much work left that the sooner I got it done the better. That meant I had to get some of it done before tonight.
A few hours later Josh knocked on my door. “Are you still going to Andrew’s?” he said as he poked his head into the room.
“Yeah, just give me a few minutes and I’ll be ready to go.” I quickly got changed into jeans and a white t-shirt and headed for the living room. “Ready”
Josh and I jumped into his car. Since I’d driven the previous weekend, it was his turn to be the designated driver. That was a good thing, because I was definitely going to need a drink or two.
We only lived a few minutes from the campus so it didn’t take long to get to there. Andrew belonged to a fraternity on the Cornell campus so we would usually head to his frat house on the weekend. It was very rare for them not to have a party. When we walked into the house we saw Andrew in the kitchen next to the keg, pouring a beer.
He held out his fist to me. “Hey man, what’s up? You want a beer?”
“Absolutely,” I said reaching for the cup he handed me. “Thanks.”
“Well you guys are late and need to catch up,” he said as he held his cup and spilled some of his beer over the side.
“That won’t be a problem, it has been a shitty week.”
“I am going to find someone to dance with while you assholes get drunk,” Josh said, walking into the other room where the guys had a music playing and a makeshift dance floor.
“Hey, you wanna play some beer pong?” Andrew asked me, loud enough to hear over the rest of the noise.
“Sure, what the hell,” I shouted over the music, knowing that Andrew was already buzzed and I would probably end up drinking more than I planned, but who cared. I followed Andrew to the back room where they kept the beer pong table set up.
Andrew and I played a few rounds, but I was right about how much he had had to drink. I was making my shots, but we were getting our asses handed to us by the other team. After about an hour I knew I needed to take a break. I could feel the buzz and I didn’t want to push it too far. People made stupid decisions when they were drunk, so I decided to head back out to the kitchen where a bunch of the guys were.
As I walked past the room with the DJ I saw Josh had found someone to dance with, and it looked like she was drunk as hell. She had on a skirt that showed off legs any guy would love to have wrapped around his waist. Her top showed off the swell of her breasts. Shit, she was hot, but I didn’t feel like having Josh bringing home some random chick from a party. I looked closer and saw her long mane of auburn hair, and realized it was Angie. What was she doing there—and what the fuck was she doing with Josh? They were dancing with their hands all over each other, and she was grinding her ass up against his dick. I felt the same jealousy, as the other day in the locker room, sear though my veins. I wanted her to dance with me like that and no one else.
I was too drunk to stop and walk the other way. Their backs were to me as I approached Josh. I tapped him on the shoulder and mouthed for him to switch places with me. He looked at me like I had lost my fucking mind and shook his head. I gave him a look that clearly told him to back the fuck off and he nodded and started to move away. He mouthed something about me owing him one and turned to leave. I nodded and traded places with him just as a new song started to play.
Angie was pretty drunk and hadn’t realized that Josh and I had switched places. As she continued to grind her ass against my dick I could feel it getting harder. I wanted this girl like I have never wanted anyone. And with my inhibitions muted by the alcohol, I wasn’t paying attention to my brain telling me why I shouldn’t have her. I had my hands all over her and pulled her tight against me. She turned around and her eyes bulged wide when she realized it was me dancing with her.
“Caleb, what are you doing here?” she said, but her eyes were unfocused.
“I was wondering the same thing about you,” I replied as she stopped dancing.
“Well I was having a good time, if you’ll excuse me,” she fumed as she started to walk away a little unsteadily, but I grabbed her arm.
“Angie, wait a minute. I know you’re pissed and I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? Sorry? I keep hearing that from you. I am not a goddamn yo-yo. You can’t keep pulling me to you with your ‘sorries’, and then pushing me away to keep your distance. Now let go of me. I’m going to find Josh,” she yelled.
“Shit, Angie. Stop being so obstinate. I’m trying to apologize here but you just keep fucking yelling at me,” I shouted back
“What the fuck do you expect me to do? Keep hanging around while you continue to treat me like shit,” she raged as her eyes flared. I realized that there was nothing I could say that she would listen to at this point. She tried once again to pull away, so I did the only thing I could think of. I pulled her to me and kissed her.
I just wanted to shut her up for a minute, but the more I thought about it, if I was honest with myself, I wanted to kiss her from the moment I looked into her beautiful brown eyes—even if it did scare the shit out of me.
When my lips connected with hers she tried to pull away, but I brought my hand up to the back of her neck and held her lips to mine. It was like a shot of straight desire into my bloodstream and before I knew it, she’d started kissing me back.
When I felt her response, I slowly pulled away and raised my eyes to meet hers and I was once again struck by their beauty. I could see all of my own desires reflected back at me. Slowly, I kissed up the line of her jaw to her ear. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you. It’s just that I don’t want you to get caught up in the ghosts of my past.” I admitted. It was more than I would usually tell anyone, but the alcohol removed most of my control. “Just dance with me,” I whispered.
“Caleb…” she trailed off, her eyes questioning.
“Please, Angie,” I pleaded. I felt her shiver. Part of me knew I shouldn’t be asking, but the other part was drunk and just didn’t give a fuck.
She nodded her head and moved back into my arms. The song had switched to something slower—Ed Sheeran’s ‘Kiss Me’. I looked down into those beautiful brown eyes and once again I was lost. I put my finger under her chin and lifted her face up to mine. My eyes connected with hers as I slowly lowered my lips. I pulled back for a second, “How drunk are you?”
“A little,” she admitted with a giggle.
I probably shouldn’t have kissed her again, but I couldn’t stop myself. I had to taste her. I pressed my lips to hers. They were so soft, they were incredible. She slipped her hands up my chest, around the back of my neck and into my hair as I continued to kiss her. I could feel the heat from her fingers through my shirt, and it made me harder than I already was. I lost it and deepened the kiss. Sliding my tongue into her warm mouth, she tasted amazing as her tongue danced around with mine. I realized I was getting too excited as my hand slid up her ribs toward her breast. Fucking hell, we were in the middle of a frat party and there I was feeling her up. I pulled my mouth away and leaned my forehead against hers as we both tried to catch our breath from the most amazing kiss of my life. “What are you doing to me?” I whispered.
She looked up and I could see desire raging in her eyes. I couldn’t breathe—all I wanted to do was take her out of that house and back to my apartment. Then I wondered what in the hell I was doing. I knew there was no way that I could let it go any further, but god I wanted this girl more than I had ever wanted anyone in my entire life. She was beautiful and sexy, but she deserved so much better than me. I wasn’t good enough for her.
The song ended and I slowly pulled away from her. I looked down and once again the sadness engulfed me as the memories of eyes just like hers flooded my head, I had to get away, but there was no way I could continue to be the ass that treated her like shit.
“Thanks for the dance, Angie.”
Forgiven (Forgiven Series) Page 3