“It’s my guess that things didn’t really work out with your mother and the man who got her pregnant. As for why she and Denise wanted to get rid of your sister or when they left you and your dear brother at an orphanage . . .” She stops, sucks in a breath and then grabs both my hands from across the table.
“Your mother, in all intents and purposes, has messed up big time. She has made questionable decisions, and she has done some unforgivable things but I’m a mother, Astraea.”
“So was she, but the difference between you two is that she chose not to be a mother!” I cry, only now feeling a lone tear falling on my right cheek.
“That might be so, baby girl, but she is a mother.” She says softly. “So is Denise, in all her faults. And on top of that, they both became wives of powerful men that live in Westbrook Blues. In the estates, no less. I know what that is like too.” She explains softy.
There is something she is trying to tell me but for the life of me and the anger in me, I can’t figure out how that can atone to what my mother has done. To George. To my sister that I never got a chance to know.
To me, damn it!
“Don’t make excuses for her, she doesn’t deserve it.”
“I know. Both of them don’t deserve it but there are sacrifices that sometimes women like your mother, women like Denise, have to make.”
“For who and why?” I demand, feeling angry again. “For themselves and the sake of their luxury because they have known what it’s like to be poor and in pain?” I rush to say, standing up as restless energy moves through my system. I can’t sit still anymore and just take it.
“I would have said they are gold diggers, the both of them.” Christina says calmly watching me as I begin to pace. “If those women hadn’t given birth.” She finishes.
I suck in another breath, silenced by the heaviness of those simple words.
“Giving birth to someone doesn’t make anyone a mother. Just like having sex and knocking up a woman, doesn’t make my sperm donor a father.” I seethe, looking down at her, my heart pounding.
I don’t have a father.
And as I’m coming to accept, I don’t have a mother either.
“A young girl.” Christina starts as she twists her flask open again but this time, she takes a sip right from the tiny thing.
“What?”
“She was just a young girl, barely seventeen years old. She was around your age now I think, when she met this man.” I watch as she stares at the flask in her hands, as if mulling over the merits of whether or not she should just finish the thing.
She throws her head back and gulps down the liquor.
“Astraea, women, go through the most, especially when their backs are against the wall and right in front of them stands a powerful, wealthy and domineering man.”
Backs against walls. Domineering men. I don’t like where this talk is going.
“What does that mean?” I question, feeling like Christina has a deep story of her own about how she ended up here. How she had this life thrust upon her when she once had a great life of her own.
“It means your mother has a story. Denise has a story. You have a story. All of them, believe it or not, feed from each other.”
“That sounds like the trailer to a horror movie with no comedy in sight.” I mumble. “Noah would be disappointed.”
“Oh please, that boy would star in that shit and shine like a peacock.”
“Hmm, true. You do know your son well.”
“He takes a lot after me, thank God.” She breathes, then looks at me seriously again.
“I know it’s not easy and it’s hurts like hell, baby girl. But in all my years of life, I have never met someone with as much fire as you have. I guess that’s why those boys hover over you like you are their entire world. You can take on anything.” Christina says and I sigh.
I think of what happened on Friday night. The way Denise and Amanda went at each other. The way they looked at each other with more than just hate in their eyes. The way Denise looked at me even. The way my mother has treated me all this time. . .
Can I take that on?
“I know the way everything has been handled, or not handled at all over the years, has obviously made everyone bitter. I know it has made you feel like you’re rotting inside.”
You have no idea.
“But you deserve better. You deserve to rise above this and just be better, Astraea.” She emphasizes and I look at her, feeling lost and somewhat found. Heavy with damning revelations yet light at the same time.
“You kids deserve better than what you have been given.”
“What about all these sacrifices?” I question, feeling like time is not on my side.
Devastation does move with a speed unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. It’s slow at first but when it’s over your head, light can’t move that fast.
“I’ll tell you what my father, Noah’s grandfather, tells Noah each time he visits.” She says as she stands up to face me head on. “If you don’t understand what sacrifice really means, what it entails, then when it hits you in the face, you will make the wrong decision. And when that happens, you’ll spend the rest of your miserable life wallowing in regret.”
And with that, she presses a kiss to the crown of my head, cups my cheek and then she turns and leaves the kitchen. But before she leaves the room, I rush to say.
“So how the hell did my mother end up here, did she already know that Denise would be here?”
“Only your mother can answer that at this moment in time. Go talk to her.”
And with that, she leaves me with the heaviness of her words hovering around the kitchen. The cup of hot chocolate that I had intended to enjoy now just cold and unappealing.
Could it be that there is more to my shallow-ass mother than what meets the eye?
If that’s true, then it means everything I know about her has been one, huge, fat lie.
My life has been a lie.
“Oh and by the way, I’m happy that you’re back baby girl.” Christina says, peeking her head from the door into the kitchen.
“These boys were miserable without you.” She says and then Noah walks in the kitchen again.
“You two aren’t done yet?” He questions but he looks distracted, typing on his phone, now dressed in all black, much like how Ace and Emmett were dressed.
Yeah, they are up to something alright.
“And where are you going young man?” Christina questions as Noah grabs bottles of water from the fridge. A lot of bottles.
“Uh, we need to check something out is all.” He says, shooting me a wink. “Baby Blue, you look like you’ve just seen a ghost. Eat something, go sleep, get your beauty sleep and fix that mess on top off your head. Everything is going to be fine.” He says and with that, he leaves for the underground parking garage through the side kitchen door.
Christina and I watch him go, knowing damn well that he will be back when he realizes that he left something. And true to form, he does come back, running.
“Oops, can’t forget my life line to a bevvy of June bugs.” He says with a chuckle as he reaches for his phone.
“June bugs like Kim Possible?” I question, arms folded, watching him.
“Well, Kim Possible is more than just a bug.” He says seriously, watching me back as if he’s trying to say something to me.
“My shitty son is right for once in his secretive life though, Astraea. It’s going to be fine.” Christina says from behind us. “Good God. I didn’t think I would ever see you two together again. Noah missed the hell out of you, Astraea.”
“Missed me with lies, apparently.” I mumble and he grins, snatching my hot chocolate from the counter.
“Hey, that’s mine. Get your own!” I charge after him as he runs across the kitchen to the breakfast nook.
“Christina holds a grudge like a scorned woman. There is no way she’ll make a cup for me.” Noah says right before he starts drinking my damn
hot chocolate! I growl.
“Oh you’re damn right about that. If I could have you sleep outside, I would do it in a heartbeat. Hell, what am I saying, this is my house. Young man, you’re sleeping outside in the cold!” Christina commands.
“That’s alright, I think I’ll be just fine.” Noah smirks, throwing his head back to finish my. . .
“Noah!”
“Oops, that’s what you get for pranking me, with my mother of all people.” He smirks.
This shithead. I raise three fingers for him. “Read between the lines, Noah.”
And he has the guts to throw his head back and howl in laughter.
“That’s a. . .” He laughs again, unable to speak. “That’s a classic one, Baby Blue. Were you saving that since kindergarten?”
Urgh.
“Can you get that new son again?” I question Christina who I’m now noticing was making another mug of hot chocolate or two.
“I’ll run by and drop a letter for the baby stock, requesting a new baby on it’s next round.” She says and I can’t help but smile.
“I wonder if they take returns.”
“Huh, I’ll have to check my receipt from the last time.” Christina says, handing me a fresh mug of hot chocolate.
“I’m right here.” Noah groans.
“We know.” Christina and I say at the same time and then we burst out laughing again.
But even then, the heaviness on my chest won’t let me soak in any kind of joy. Not for long anyway.
Taking the back roads, I drive my Jeep, navigating the bumpy, dusty roads that might lead to nowhere if you didn’t know where you were going. But it so happens I know this road well.
“Is Spider there?” I question, my voice low, my body tense and alert as I look out my window, scanning the perimeter.
“He says he’s watching Myers, who seems to have a cult or some bullshit going on around a fire.” Emmett says, his voice filtering in through the speakers of my car.
I look through the mirror, spotting his car at the back, with Noah’s Lambo between us. Shithead chose to drive that instead of being practical.
“Then that means he’s already planning something.” Asshole says. “Shit, should have drove another car, this shit is crazy.”
I roll my eyes at that, dismissing him. He’ll just have to live and make do with his life decisions.
“Is he coming back to school though?” Noah questions. “His father is a member of staff after all.”
“I made sure his suspension is put forward. Myers knows that there is no way he is coming back to Blues High.” Emmett says.
“Yeah, but he still has a formidable following of shitheads at that school.” I say.
“Who are probably at this damn secret meeting or whatever the hell spy agents, Mission Impossible cast members wannabe, they are doing right now.” Noah curses and I grin.
“Having trouble with your hot wheels, Noah?” Emmett questions with a chuckle. I look at my mirror and notice that Noah is trying to drive out of a ditch. This is a bad road. It was not meant to be navigated by small—especially fancy—cars.
“I’m good. Fuck yeah! Fairy knows what she’s doing.” He says, as he drives to catchup, now a bit behind me.
“Uhuh.” Emmett says.
“But you’ll have to ditch your damn fairy in the next five minutes or else she’ll make too much noise and our cover will be blown.” I demand, feeling annoyed at Noah now.
“What the hell? No, I’m not leaving Fairy out here with all sorts of wild animals to maul her and key her. No.”
“Then turn back and go home.” Emmett grumbles and I have to agree with that shit.
Things are still really tense and volatile between Em and I but when it comes to this shit storm going on, differences have to be put aside. He is my best friend, my brother in the Blue Boys circle after all. But the thought of him, with my girl. . .
I tighten my grip on the steering wheel, in my damn head I can still hear the way she just denied me, denied us, in that kitchen like we mean nothing. Like I’m nothing to her.
Just like she chose to go after Emmett on Friday night.
“Right now, Noah.” I bark.
“Okay, okay, alright. Jeez, you need to get laid and fast.” Noah says as he pulls up to the shoulder and I stop my car, watching the road ahead of me as well as the sides, making sure we don’t have eyes on us as Noah parks his car between two trees.
“We’re good.” Emmett says after a while. I notice Noah hoping into Emmett’s car and then I start driving ahead, feeling the need to do some damage tonight.
“So, what’s the plan? Lighting shit on fire?” Noah questions.
“No, we are only going to do some recon. Check out what’s happening.” I say.
“We could have had someone else do that for us.”
“Who? Everyone can be bought you moron. And not everyone knows the right shit to look for.” Emmett grumbles and soon in the distance, I see the smoke and then the flickering fire. Immediately I turn, switching my headlights off.
“We have to go on foot from here on out” I announce, parking my car in the shadow of the trees. I can see Em doing the same thing a few feet away. From here, I’m sure no one can see us unless they knew we were there.
I take out my phone and shoot Spider a text.
He replies almost immediately. I put in my earpiece, grab the baseball bat that George used to use that was in my room and get out of the car.
“You shitheads on the line?” I question, hearing static through my earpiece.
“Testing, sweet pussy, one, two, one, two, testing.” Noah’s voice filters through my ear and I sigh. He’s growing antsy.
“That girl will never fuck you.” I say, just to piss him off because I know he’s after Kim, Astraea’s friend. She has spine, that I saw and I know she’s giving Noah hell. Hell, he is the one who hasn’t been laid in weeks.
“I’m working her walls. In the end, they all want to be famous. They all want to have one of the Blue Boys as a notch on their bedpost.” He says with a hard laugh.
Somehow, it’s more than that. He knows it and I know it.
“Easton.” I say quietly and he grunts. Good, he’s on the line. “Let’s move.”
I start walking towards the direction of the fire, with Noah and Emmett right beside me.
“George would have loved this shit.” Noah says out of nowhere.
Yeah, old boy would have enjoyed the fuck out of terrorizing people by sneaking up on them. Finding out their secrets and then exposing them.
“But he would have done it in a nicer way.” Emmett says just as silently, as if he’s thinking of the same shit I am thinking. George was just a tad bit soft to ever be an unkind asshole full time like I was known to be. But when he was angry, fuck, all hell broke loose. Just like his twin sister.
“You boys better keep it down. And hurry up. I think you might want to hear this.” Spiders voice says through the earpiece.
We stop, look at each other, then we start walking a bit faster but still quietly. Careful not to make any sound, we are good at that shit anyway so it’s a walk in the park. Literally.
“Over here, to your left.” Spider says quietly. We move towards where he is and then, crouch by his side where he is obviously eavesdropping on the large circle of assholes that are seated around a fucking fire like they are camping asshats who are planning world domination.
“What?” Noah starts but I slap the back of his head, warning him to shut the fuck up.
“Yeah, they think they rule everything. Like they have ever had to work for anything in their entitled and privileged lives.”
I frown, crouching forward so I can listen more intently. I know that voice but it’s not Myer’s.
“Calling them the fucking ‘Blue Boys’, as if they’re royalty.” Another guy says, his body moving violently, as if he is not in control of it. “Well I call bullshit on that brainwashing.” He spits.
Low lives, the
lot of them.
Yeah, they are drunk.
Lucky for us, sober thoughts are what we are about to hear. I look to Spider and he looks at me. Myers is here but he hasn’t spoken yet.
“They fucking get special treatment. They do whatever they fucking want, get whatever they want and then take it all for granted. Shit, those assholes get all the girls. They think they are special. I bet their dicks look like toothpicks.” The first guy calls out and they all holler.
Noah starts to laugh as soon as the noise rises in the silent space around us and I look at him, giving him another warning.
“What, they seem pretty invested in the size of my dick, it’s funny to me.” He says and I roll my eyes.
“We need a plan!”
“Yeah!”
“A plan to destroy them for good!”
“Fuck yeah!”
“All of them!”
“Yeah!
“One down, three assholes to go. We did it once, we can do it again!”
“Fuck yeah!!”
I still in my tracks. Everything in me halts to a stop and I look at Emmett, then at Noah whose eyes are now wide with shock and disbelief. Then at Spider who doesn’t seem at all shocked by this news.
“What the fuck did they just say?” Noah demands and for the life of me, I am about to attack as much as he wants to right now.
“Wait, what was the plan with George fucking Fields? How did we get rid of him?” One of the guys questions and I watch as they all turn to look at someone.
That someone. . . is Myers.
Emmett and Noah look at me and then back at him. I nod my head and just as quickly, Emmett takes out a recording device and Noah gets closer to plant it as well as record a video while Emmett gets the audio.
I turn back to just in time as Derreck Myers stands up, feeling him-fucking-self, as if he has conquered the world. They all grow silent when he stands up, and I see he is eating all that shit up.
Attention seeker huh? Wants to be worshipped.
“Brothers, that was fucking easy! You know, they look like they are a tight, strong unit but we all know, from what we saw on Friday night, that gold shit is fake like your whore’s tits, Josh.” He points at someone and they all start laughing.
Vicious Hate (Westbrook Blues Book 2) Page 18