“That’s enough, asshole. The cops have been called.” Emmett grumbles, as we push through the chaotic crowd.
“Spider.”
“Drugs.” Is all he says.
“Fuck. Clean it up and find the rat.”
“Already did. One of Myers guys.” He explains and I push away from them, then I start walking towards my car since we are outside. Fucking Myers is playing his cards well huh.
“Handle it.” I grit out as Spider throws a hoodie my way. “Thanks.”
He studies me for a beat, watching me. Wondering. Questioning. Just like Emmett.
“You’re a reckless fool for what you just did tonight. Do you know they were fucking following you?”
I didn’t but that doesn’t matter.
“I was counting on it.” I grit out, locked in a stare down with Emmett who looks like he could fuck me up right here, right now.
“And you think she’ll appreciate this side of you huh? You don’t deserve her, you have issues.” Emmett grits out, watching me. Measuring me.
“Don’t we all, Em? I’m sure you would know that.” I say as I walk towards him.
“And let me give you a hint, what she wants or what she sees in me, you’ll never guess it.” I seethe in his face.
“Whoa, whoa. Go home King.” Spider commands. Getting between Em and I.
This is fucked up. I need to fucking make it all stop. Fighting with my brother. . .
“Lock it down and get me the name of the rat.” I tell Spider as I plant my hands in my sweatpants.
“Got it.”
“Deal with your fucking issues and be a fucking man. I won’t let you destroy her.” Emmett warns as he walks to his car.
Yeah well, you couldn’t touch my issues even if you tried. And the girl who I love, yeah well she shares more issues with me than I would like. She suffers because of me and she might even love one of my brothers.
“I’m out.” I say, ignoring them both but Emmett’s words haunt me all the way home even with his car right behind mine the whole way.
I need to see her.
It wasn’t so much the need for fresh air—like I told myself—that led me to him that night.
Somehow, after spending the entire afternoon in my room trying to watch movies, my mind still went back to what happened Friday night. I felt so damn restless. And it didn’t help that it was just radio silence all around me.
So, it wasn’t so surprising when I grabbed my phone as well as the small pocket knife that I also stole from Ace’s car, his lighter, and a little fleece blanket and left the mansion through the secret door that Ace used that first time.
It’s chilly out but I don’t care, trying to escape the rattling in my mind, the shaking of my body as a result of the withdrawals that I’m facing. I know I should at least try to find a dealer or have some ritzy asshole doctor in town write down a prescription for me to get a new bottle of Xanny pills but I just can’t bring myself to do it.
So, here I am now, my feet leading me to this secluded, dark area of the estates.
The little spot is closer to my house than it is the king’s estate but it doesn’t face any of the mansions. It almost seems like it has its own compass, its own direction, even though that is geographically impossible. But I’ve always felt drawn to it and now as I wrap the blanket around myself and I sit down, but before I can even breathe, I feel him before he speaks.
“Why are you here?”
I freeze.
My heart starts pounding, and I start flicking the lighter faster than I was when I was walking over.
“Why are you?” I counter, forcing my voice to be strong, unaffected, to make it seem like I’m not startled by his angry voice. Like I’m not relieved at hearing his deep cadence moving through me like a fine, aged whiskey.
I feel him moving behind me. Why hadn’t I seen him when I was coming over.
“I asked first.” He counters and I close my eyes, feeling him right behind me, the heat from his body soaking into me.
In that moment the need for him hits me just as hard as the bitter remnants of anger towards him.
“Where were you?” My voice is hard, dripping venom, surprising me with its harshness but Ace isn’t at all surprised, instead he chuckles, blowing a puff of smoke close to my ear. I realize he is smoking a joint.
Wait, that was what I was smelling when I was walking by. I should have known he would he there, after all, this is his spot. He existed here once upon a time. He was somewhat human when he was here and I somehow gravitated towards him here.
This spot was a no bullshit spot.
Air your fucking grievances and let’s deal with them kind of spot.
It’s also the spot we somehow always stared up at the sky, our pinkies locked, breathing in sync.
“Do you care?” He questions, as he starts to play with my hair.
“I loved your hair long but you fucking look sexy as hell like this.” He says quietly.
"I didn’t want to look like her.” I whisper, facing the expanse of land ahead of us, but so damn hyper aware of him. I know I don’t have to explain who I mean.
“You’re not her.” He grits out, getting angry again. Echoing what he said in Christina’s kitchen on Sunday. Between then and now, we haven’t really seen each other, save for the brief time at lunch today where we just. . .studied each other.
“You’ve never really looked like her.” He says, his voice catching a bit. Too much smoke maybe.
That's not what people see when they look at me. Your mother included.
“Yeah, but she’s still my mother, isn’t she?” The words are bitter as they fall off my tongue. “Now, I can’t sleep because of you. You took away my fucking life line.” I seethe, thinking of those damn pills.
“I’m your fucking life line. You don’t need those damn pills or anyone else!” He growls in my ear, his fingers skimming the exposed skin of my neck.
“So, you know what I need then?” I question feeling bitter. “Is that why you just fucking disappeared today?”
He chuckles again. Humorlessly.
Oh God.
“Do you know what you need?” He questions right back at me, his voice a dark promise.
Do I know what I need?
Yes.
No.
Maybe. . .
Ace chuckles again.
“Yeah, baby, you can’t even understand your own mind the way I do.” He whispers in my hair, which now probably smells like smoke. Like him.
“The way your mind eats at you, dictating your emotions. . .” He says, his fingers skimming, breath tickling my exposed neck. The chill breeze has nothing on the shiver that goes down my spine. “It’s why you couldn’t sleep. It’s why you’re here right now.”
I shiver again, feeling his rough, calloused forefinger and thumb caressing my neck as his other hand starts circling my neck as if he’s about to choke me to death.
My heart starts pounding painfully, I swear he can hear it too.
“You know exactly why you came out here.” He whispers, fingers wrapping around my neck. “Your sexy body knew what it wants but that heart, that fucking heart knew you would find me here.” His dark, angry voice whispers, beguiling my mind, my body and hell, even my soul.
“You needed someone to redirect that pent-up fire, tonight.” He groans, kissing the shell of my ear. I groan along with him, feeling myself grow wet, my pussy clenching in response to his body.
“Did you think that I’d let Emmett do that for you?” He growls deep in his chest. “Do you think he knows you as much as I breathe you? As much as your heart beats for me?”
My eyes fly open as soon as the threat finally registers in my soul, his large hand now firmly secured around my elongated neck. He doesn’t grip at all but I can sense the acute danger as much as I can feel the pulsating heat that has flooded between my legs and his hardness at my back.
“I can smell your sweet essence, Blue Star.” He says as he takes a wh
iff of me, feeling his lips at my neck. “Do you think Emmett can make you as wet as I can? Does he know that vicious mind of yours? How it chews you up. How you try to escape it when you have power over it?”
“Ace.” I start but he cuts me off.
“Or maybe he knows how to turn you on, with that very mind. Hmm?”
“You’re sick!” I gasp, vibrating with need. Needing him to touch me, make me cum, kiss me at the very least but he doesn’t do any of that. Instead, he just chuckles.
“You’re a sick asshole.”
I wanted my voice to come out strong, accusatory, some kind of powerful and threatening but instead, it comes out breathy, needy and just urgh. . .
“Baby, we both are.” He chuckles, puffing the smoke from the joint. “It’s always been us but the question is, do you care?”
The coldness of his voice is back again, so are the cold shivers.
“I. . .” I start but the words die in my throat.
I try to turn around then, but he stops me by placing a firm hand at my hip, cooing softly in my ear as he does
“No, no, Blue Star. You don’t deserve to look at me right now. Answer the question. Do you care?” His voice drops a few degrees, getting colder if that’s possible but oh so sexy, the shivers go up and down my spine but these kind of shivers, the Ace shivers, I don’t mind them at all.
They give me life if I’m being honest.
“Well do you?” I counter, choosing to prolong our torture.
“I don’t know.” He answers after a long pause, just when I thought he wasn’t going to. “When it comes to you, it almost always seems like I care more than you do.”
“That’s not true!” I cry out, moving away from him as I turn around.
What meets me as soon as I do has my hands flying to cover my mouth as the fleece blanket drops to the grassy ground, leaving me chilled to the bone.
“Oh my gosh.” I gasp, as I take in the sight of a wounded and bruised, and high as fuck Ace. He doesn’t look high but he reeks it.
“Oh my gosh.” I repeat again as he looks at me with a bored, yet appreciative eye. He looks like he was in a brawl, and not the one that happened on Friday. No, right now he looks like he was fresh out of a fight with gladiators or something and he barely made it out alive.
“What the hell happened to you?” I question, pain constricting my voice and he chuckles again, reaching for another joint in his pocket.
“Like you care what happens to me, Blue Star.” He says as he starts flicking at the lighter that he has but it seems to have run out, so he looks at the one that dropped at my feet expectantly.
“You only ever seem to care about big Emmett, though don’t you?” He questions with a chuckle.
“He’s all you have ever cared for anyway.” He whispers, this time it’s bitter and venomous, reeking of hate and self-loathing.
My jaw drops open as his words soak into my subconscious.
“Ace. . .” I start but he cuts me off.
“I mean, I always saw it.” He waves his hand in the air, looking up at me.
“But the stupid part of me always thought what we had was stronger, much more real because fuck knows you, Astraea can’t take fake anything.” He starts as he stands up fluidly, like he is in full control of all his senses.
He walks up to me slowly like a panther, boxing in its prey. Even the glint in his eyes suggests that to him, I’m just someone he wants to devour. But before he does that, he’s going to play with me and torture me. Whatever fits this. . .mood.
“I thought you wouldn’t lie to yourself.” He says, getting closer.
“Ace. . .” I try again but just like before, he cuts me off. I back up but I’m soon running out of room because there is a large tree behind me.
“But you know what? I’ll be damned if I ever let him have you.” He whispers the words like he has said them over and over again. Like he has soaked them into his subconscious and now, those words are coming to life before us.
“No one can do you quite like me. No one can tap into that vicious mind like I can. And you know what the kicker is, baby.” He groans as he leans in, until our foreheads are pressed together, our gazes locked.
Heartbeat.
Heartbeat.
Heartbeat.
“What” I croak out, feeling my knees weaken as the pain in his eyes registers in my system.
“You need me to take control as much as I need to be in control. You want me just as much as I want you.” He growls, watching me, daring me to deny it.
“Oh God.” I breathe, wanting to touch him so badly, my fingers are itching.
“Sometimes you hate it.” He breathes, reaching for the exposed skin between my sleeping shirt that just rode up and the little shorts. He starts caressing there.
“Then other times you obsess over it then it scares you enough that you start hating me.” He says.
Oh God. How he knows all this is beyond me. Is it true though? I don’t want to acknowledge it. What I do know is, Ace made my heart beat so damn hard I swear each beat brought me closer to kissing death.
Ace is in pain right now, that much I can feel even when he never says a single word, our eyes locked on each other. I might go through my own problems but so does he.
I can hardly blink, scared that what I’m seeing shining through his eyes might disappear. And Ace, true to form, blinks, when he opens those blue orbs again, they are hard, unyielding and they stare me down, daring me to deny the truth coming out of his mouth.
“You know it and you crave it. You crave me.” He whispers and then just as quickly, he ducks his head and kisses me.
Twisted, messed up bliss.
We both groan when our lips touch, our tongues dancing as I try to get my taste of him. I raise my hand to cup his jaw, being careful not to touch any of his bruises but before I can enjoy the feel of him, he moves away, bends down and picks up the lighter from the ground, then in the next second, he is moving away from me.
He’s punishing me, I realize!
What the actual fuck!
“So that’s it then!” I seethe, watching him turn away from me.
Dread fills my insides as I look at his turned back. I hate that sight. I hate seeing his back turned to me. Him looking away from me feels a lot like heartbreak and I can’t fucking take it, so I march around him, coming to a stop right in front of him.
With all the frustrated anger I can muster, I snatch away the damn lighter before he can use it, demanding his attention.
“What do you want me to say?” I demand, taking a step closer to him. “You want me to tell you just how much I crave you? Or how much I fucking want you, is that it?” I question, my voice hard and cold, matching his.
He gives me a cool appraisal, studying me with that unimpressed, unbothered look that I fucking hate so much.
“Do you want me to tell you just how much I get wet for you?” I look him directly in the eye as I continue. “Well, against my better judgement, I fucking do and you know it but you have no right to talk about Emmett like he means nothing!” I accuse.
“When it comes to you and me, he does mean nothing.” He growls, stepping closer to me.
Ace was not just rough around the edges, he was just rough through and through. Everything about him was like living in the wild, yet his insanely gorgeous face made it seem like he somehow thrived in the wild. He was an asshole, an alphahole, and God knows I shouldn’t want to be kissed by him. To want him so much. To crave him.
But I fucking do. I just do.
“Well that’s good news then, isn’t it?” I say, relaxing my shoulders as I watch him, sending him a sweet smile. “We aren’t anything worth a damn so that shouldn’t matter at all.”
He pauses, watching as the smile on my face spreads. I know it’s a bittersweet smile, which matches the situation. I wasn’t really anything to Ace. Maybe a girl that he fucked but other than that, did we have anything?
“You are pretty good at being a
contradiction, Star. It’s not hard to understand that now.” He answers, watching me as if he’s unbothered. I hate that look. I hate it when he looks at me like that.
I want that fire in his eyes.
I want the look of pure lust when he looks at me.
I want him to want me.
“There is nothing going on between me and Emmett, you fucking asshole. It’s always been fucking you, despite my better judgement!”
“Is that why you went after him that night?” He questions.
And there it is. The issue that’s bothering him. The rift between us. The dilemma that will break us if we’re not careful.
We are two fragile, yet fucking tough and stubborn individuals but when we’re together, things can get ugly fast. Exhibit A, the day after Ace took my pills.
“Ace. . .”
“He makes you happy.” He says quietly, watching me with a solemn expression on his face.
“I’m too fucked up to be happy, you know that better than anyone.” I whisper, my soul aching as the truth falls off my tongue.
“So is he.” He counters.
“But he isn’t you.” I whisper. God knows I love Emmett with all my fucking heart, I would be anything for him, do anything for him but Ace. . .
The fucking blue-eyed devil possesses my every thought, emotion and time, and he hasn’t even asked me to be his. Not officially anyway.
Silence greets me after my admission as if he is trying to listen for lies in my voice, in my heart.
“Tell me you know that.” He groans, as he looks down at me, his large hand now cupping my cheek in a soft, reverent gesture.
“Emmett doesn’t feel that way about me, Ace.” I try to reason with him.
He snorts as he looks down at me and that prompts me to step closer to him.
“I’ve never lied to you.” I breathe out, looking up at his bruised yet so fucking gorgeous, god like face that I sometimes dream of.
He looks down at my lips, then up to meet my gaze. His eyes are dark, troubled, haunted but so him that I drown in them. His kissable lips are pressed into a humorless, painful smile that cracks my heart.
“You just did.” He groans and my heart stutters.
Devastation. . .
It has this feeling that lodges itself deep within your soul but the beginnings of it are so damn fleeting and you won’t recognize it until the very end.
Vicious Hate (Westbrook Blues Book 2) Page 23