by Juanita Kees
Tameka pressed her fingers to her temples and closed her eyes, her distress clear in her frown and the downward tug of her mouth. ‘What about your mung bean crop? Was that damaged too?’
‘No, that’s done pretty well. The greenhouses saved the crop from contamination this year, but the cost set me back a bit.’ Harley pulled his beanie out of his pocket and tugged it back on. ‘It’s been an expensive few years. I had no choice but to mortgage the property to have funds to build the dam and the greenhouses. Filling the recycled water tanks we had put in doesn’t come cheap either.’ Yet another penance to pay for his actions that had caused this whole damn mess.
She opened her eyes to look at him again. ‘I’m sorry, Harley. If I could change what happened …’
But they couldn’t. Nothing could stop his father’s heart attack from happening or bring Ryan back, or change the events of the day he’d lost his best friend. ‘Maybe I should take John Bannister up on his offer and sell out.’
‘No damn way. That would kill your father, Harley. Bannister will be digging holes all over the land in search of gold and every ounce of sweat your family has put into the soil will be lost. Suck it up, princess, and find a way to deal with the problem that doesn’t involve selling out to Wongan Creek Mining.’
Despite his testiness and frustration, he let some of his anger slip away. For a brief moment there he’d caught a glimpse of the old Tikki, the one who delivered tough love and a kick up the butt when he needed it most. It did nothing to help his current situation though, and with gold fever gripping the town, many farmers in the region were jumping to take up the cash offers John Bannister was dealing out. A much easier and cheaper option than to continue to sustain the losses each harvest brought to the region, whatever the cause.
‘I’ve lost a major portion of my hops. The crop will take a year or two at least to recover from the damage this time.’
Time he didn’t have when his livelihood relied on every hectare of the bines being profitable and disease-free. He dropped his hands to his hips. Reality kicked like a mule. Having to tell his father that he’d failed would be bad enough, but buckling to the pressure to sell out or have the property repossessed would finish his old man off for sure.
Tameka stepped closer, her hand out to touch his arm. ‘I’m sorry. I really am.’
Things might not have been the same between them for a long time, but her apology came from the heart, of that he could be sure. She’d understand the rolling consequences, the casualties both human and financial.
He should stay angry with her and her father. This was all their fault, but he knew better than anyone how stubborn and unpleasant old man Chalmers could be. Tameka would only have followed her father’s instructions, and Harley couldn’t find it in his heart to lay the blame entirely at her feet. He’d have to man up and face the old bastard himself, no matter how unpleasant it would be. Another hoop to jump through that might be a complete waste of time if he couldn’t get the bank to grant him a grace period for repayment.
He hung his head and concentrated on the laces of his steel-capped boots. ‘This is a bloody disaster. My four pigs sure as hell won’t bring home the bacon.’ He grimaced. ‘No pun intended.’
In the past that would have drawn a laugh from her, but that beautiful sound he’d missed so much stayed locked in as her lips tightened. Things shouldn’t be so awkwardly polite between them. It sucked—almost as much as the water shortage, the dam they no longer shared and the mess created by her father’s insistence on using crop-damaging herbicides.
The installation of greenhouses and recycled water tanks had been an expensive game changer for Bakers Hill and his bank account when Tameka’s dad had donned on his double A-sized Arrogant Arsehole boots and decided he no longer wanted to share his water supply with the Bakers. My land, my dam. A move that had almost killed Harley’s father. The reason he and Mum had to leave the farm and move to town.
And now the damaged crop and the fallout from it when he was the only damn grower and supplier in the southern region of Western Australia—how did you break that kind of news to a man on the edge of another heart attack? How to tell him that the farm their family had worked for four generations might be repossessed unless he could find a way out of this latest disaster.
‘So I have to head into town to tell Dad the bad news. Not the sort of thing I want to talk about over the phone. Damn it, Tikki, it could be years before the crop recovers. Besides the cost, it’s not what Dad needs to hear right now.’
Tameka dropped her hand from his arm. ‘Look, I know things aren’t great between us, but this is my fault and I should be the one to explain it to your dad. I’ll go with you.’
He eyed her warily. It had been a long time since they’d shared a ride in a ute. The last time they had, it hadn’t ended well. Nothing like being nailed with your jocks around your ankles bumping uglies with your girl and getting sprung by her dad. Big Bang, no dam, broken friendships and a lifetime of regret. Young, horny and stupid.
He’d lost more than his virginity that day. He’d lost his soul mate when she’d shut him out after the huge barney between the families that had followed. They were nineteen, old enough to do the deed. Old enough to carry the consequences. But that was the day her dad had taken her away from him for good.
Could he risk being in the same ute with her again? Almost eight years later when the wounds still bled and he should be angry at her for destroying his crops, yet the mere sight of her sad, beautiful face had his heart dancing a two-step?
‘Why would you want to do that?’
Not that he didn’t want to ride with her. Oh, hell no. He’d love a second chance to be alone with her, to apologise for the shit he’d caused, to tell her how much he missed her company in spite of all the time apart.
Four out of eight of those years apart he’d spent away at university in Perth doing his Bachelor’s Degree in Agriculture and Rural Science. Except for semester breaks when he’d come home to help Dad on the farm. Not enough time at home to heal the rift between them, even if it was possible.
Her dad hadn’t let him near her again after the incident in the ute. And then when Harley had come home for good, it had been to his father’s illness, and he’d had to take over the running of the farm and the challenges the fallout with the Chalmers had caused. No time for play or much else.
Could this be the icebreaker, the end to their personal cold war? If he lost Baker’s Hill—the last of everything he had—he’d never see her again. And he couldn’t walk away from the land without settling a few scores with her father first. Like coming between them the way he had, and almost destroying his family’s livelihood.
Tameka shifted on her feet, kicking up a chunk of soil with the toe of her boot. ‘It’s my spray drift that caused the problem. What if it’s affected Travis Bailey’s canola crop too? He’s got enough on his plate looking after Harry’s farm as well as his own. I have to have the facts so I can tell Dad what’s going on.’
And that wouldn’t be a pleasant conversation. Old man Chalmers wasn’t exactly the caring, understanding type. ‘Only if you’re sure that’s what you want to do. I don’t want to get you into any trouble.’
She met his gaze, all guts and determination in the set of her chin. ‘I have to take responsibility for this and find out the extent of the damage.’ Her face softened. ‘I really am sorry, Harley. About everything.’
So was he. If he could go back and change the things that had happened in the past … so many things. Like that awful day he’d let his brother go play in the shed on his own, and the day he’d let his dick rule his head and hurt his best friend.
Harley blew out a breath. He couldn’t do anything to change the past, and right now the future looked pretty glum too. This could be the last time he spent any time with Tameka. Forever. ‘Okay, thanks. I appreciate the backup. It means a lot.’
Because God knows, he needed the support of someone who understood his struggle,
and even with the forgotten years between them, Tikki would get the idea of what he was going through. She’d understand why he couldn’t fail and let the farm go bankrupt.
She dropped her gaze from his and looked out across the dam. ‘No problem.’
‘Will you tell your dad where you’re going?’ Surely after all this time, her dad no longer had the power to stop her from seeing him? They were adults, for God’s sake.
‘No, he doesn’t need to know yet. Not until I have all the facts.’
Harley pressed his fingers to his eyes. An already long day had just grown longer. In the same ute with the girl he couldn’t hold again—that equalled torture—but keeping secrets from Louis Chalmers was a madness he never wanted to revisit. With a man like him, you were damned if you told him the truth and dead meat if he discovered it any other way.
‘Keeping secrets is what got us into a load of trouble last time. I won’t put you in that position again. Not when we’re not friends anymore. I’m not even sure what we are.’
‘We’re neighbours, Harley, that’s all. And what happened between us was a long time ago. This is nothing more than me taking responsibility for my actions. You can drive yourself into town if you bloody want to. I can go alone. Take it or leave it, no skin off my nose.’
And such a pretty nose it was. He’d loved the feel of it nuzzled against his neck. Wanted to feel it there again. Which could never happen, and he had to keep his mind focused on the struggle ahead. ‘I’ll take it.’
‘Great.’ The word grated out between her teeth. ‘What time do you want to leave?’
‘After lunch? Around one-thirty?’
‘Pick you up at your gate at one-thirty. If you’re not there, I’ll know you’ve changed your mind and gone ahead on your own.’
Loki lurched back through the gate, wriggled between them and dropped the rope on Harley’s boots, tongue hanging out. Harley picked it up and tossed it again, but Loki wasn’t buying it. The dog gave a little whine and pawed at his leg.
Harley scratched Loki’s ears. ‘I’ll be there.’ Because God help him, he couldn’t not be when she was doing the right thing by him.
‘And I’ll talk to Dad again about looking into alternatives for weed control once I have an idea of the extent of the damage.’
She turned away, but not before he caught the tightening of her lips and the look of resignation on her face. Discussions with Louis Chalmers were never his idea of fun, he didn’t figure it would be any different for her. ‘Tikki?’
‘Don’t call me that. We’re way past those days now.’
The impact of that statement ricocheted through him as he patted Loki’s side. It shouldn’t still hurt.
‘Did he give you tonnes of shit that day?’
She’d know which day he meant—the one when his heart had died, hers had taken a hammering, and their perfect world that existed only of each other had changed.
She cast a quick look over her shoulder and tugged on her lime green beanie. ‘You have no idea.’
He wanted to hold her, hug her, but he’d never be that person for her again. ‘I’m sorry.’ It wasn’t anywhere near enough.
Chapter 3
Sorry. That word got tossed around a lot and meant nothing. What the hell was she thinking offering Harley a lift into town? She wasn’t his friend—hadn’t been for a long time—and if her father found out about it he’d be furious with her.
They didn’t even buy their damn supplies in Wongan Creek, never mind attend any community meetings, functions or events. Dad refused to, ever since he’d cut all ties with the community. Not that he’d bothered to establish many, if any at all.
Tameka made her way between the rows, down the field towards the tractor shed. The acres of rich soil would soon produce bright green sprouts and fill the rolling landscape with a contrast of colour. Like a painting on a canvas.
Damn Harley Baker and his dog for screwing up her day even more. Damn her heart for pounding from attraction instead of anger. Damn this constant yearning for the togetherness they’d once shared.
She looked past the shed. Down near the creek, the homestead sprawled empty and dying. Dad didn’t care about doing maintenance on it. When the door had slammed behind Mum that awful day, he’d stopped caring about anything other than making Tameka’s life hell.
Not that it had been much different before that. When a beer or ten and a bottle of whisky changed his personality from zero hero to major arsehole.
You stay away from that Baker boy. If you want to get knocked up and waste your life, get out of my house. If you want to manage this farm, you do as I say and put your back into it, girl.
She hadn’t seen her mother leave, hadn’t had time to say goodbye or been given the choice to go with her. Instead, she’d been locked in her room to contemplate her sins, forced to stay while her father had delivered his final ‘fuck you’ to her mother by keeping her there.
Go, Mai! But you fucking go alone and your daughter stays to pay for being a whore just like her mother.
It was her fault her mum had packed her bags and gone, leaving her dad to manage on his own, and he’d never let her forget it as his mood swings, temper and drinking had grown steadily worse.
Tameka had stayed on the farm hoping her mum would come back for her. Wishing she’d taken her away too the day life changed for the worst at Golden Acres.
Stop snivelling over your mother. She’s gone. Never coming back. She didn’t fucking want you.
She’d stayed beyond the point of being able to leave her miserable, angry, violently drunk and emotionally abusive father because she loved the land she worked every day. Because she hoped that things would change. That he’d change. Instead, her father had destroyed everything that signified her mother’s presence, burnt it on a bonfire.
His anger had been so tangible that night Tameka had stayed locked in her bedroom and barred the door shut to stop him from smashing his way inside and having another go at her. He’d taken two days to calm down before falling into a drunken sleep, and she’d never seen her mother again.
She pushed away the memory and hitched the seeder to the tractor, feeling the burn in her muscles as the weight dragged at them. She needed to fix the mess Loki had made before her dad found out, and then she had to come up with an excuse as to why she had to make a trip into Wongan Creek because he wouldn’t care that his spray drift had destroyed another man’s livelihood. He’d see it as a victory.
Two hours later, the ancient box air seeder gave her a reason when the hydraulic air hose lost the will to struggle, burst free from its brass fitting and waved around like a crazed snake under the pressure.
‘Bloody hell.’ Tameka scrambled to shut the machine down, cursing the ageing equipment. Just as well it had held long enough to cover up the worst of Loki’s crime.
‘What are you doing? You stupid girl!’ Dad’s voice boomed across the field from ten rows down.
Damn it. Couldn’t he have stayed away for a while longer? ‘Seeder’s blown a hose,’ she called out.
‘Well, didn’t you just service it?’ he demanded as he stalked closer.
Yes, the seeder and the tractor and the ute, all while Googling with a dodgy internet connection for parts that had last been shipped in on the Ark. ‘The hose is perished.’
‘Then you’d better bloody fix it and quick.’
‘It’ll take days to come from our usual supplier. I still have a few hectares to seed. I can’t wait that long.’ Better to let him make the suggestion about going into town. If she did, he’d kick up a fuss.
His bushy eyebrows knitted together in a scowl. She hadn’t seen him smile in eight years, and several years before that. She wasn’t sure he knew how to.
‘Better go into town and see if that useless lot at the hardware store have got one.’
Fat chance. Noah probably sold the last one before the Big Flood. And by her dad’s estimation, everyone was useless or stupid. His constant negativity and den
igration dragged at her will to stay positive.
‘Good idea, Dad.’
‘And hurry up about it. You’re wasting good daylight hours. We don’t have many left before winter sets in.’
As if it was her fault he wouldn’t buy new equipment and she spent more time fixing what they had than working it. ‘I’ll go clean up. Did you want anything from town?’
That earned her a disdainful look as he turned to walk away. ‘Just get the bloody hose fixed and get on with the God damn job. Time is money and you’re wasting both.’
Tameka ignored the shaft of rejection that closed her throat. She’d never be good enough, no matter how hard she worked. She should just walk away. Get in the ute and drive, leave down the same road her mum had taken.
But her mother had taught her to respect her elders. Her father’s rule was absolute no matter how much she disagreed or wanted otherwise. This time he was right, she was wasting time even thinking about how things could be different.
She’d lost count of the times she’d thought about walking away, telling him to shove his farm and work it himself. And she hated herself for not having the guts to set off into the unknown alone for the cold, hard fear that what she’d face outside of Wongan Creek would be worse.
She’d never see Harley again if she did go, or watch her seeds grow into a field of barley, and her dad would die in a place that was falling down around his ears. Even though she sometimes thought he deserved to, she didn’t want to have her father’s death on her conscience too. It was bad enough that she was to blame for everything that had happened on Golden Acres to date.
***
Harley cradled his ribs and winced as Tameka’s ute bounced over another bump in the road that felt the size of a mountain and jarred the length of his spine.
‘Jesus, Tikki. Take it easy. When do you plan to change the shocks on this thing?’
‘The next time Marty McFly and Doc Brown come to town in the DeLorean and bring a new set with them. And don’t call me that.’