by JF Smith
Suddenly behind him, he heard his father’s voice cry, “Oh, Di’taro!” He turned to see his father standing there naked, wearing only a horror-stricken face. It was certainly not unusual for him to see his father undressed on occasion, but it was the upset and fear in his father’s face that, in turn, upset him. His father scooped him up in his arms and held him close as he told him, “You must not venture alone! It is too dangerous without me or Pe’taro with you, little one! Too dangerous!”
“I am big enough, father! I want to help!” he remembered telling his father as he wrapped his small arms around the man’s neck.
His father set him down and knelt in front of him. He took his son’s hand and said, “Yes, I know you do. And perhaps it is time; you will not always be a boy and you are growing up. You must learn to live here without me by your side every moment. I promise to teach you how to live the ways of the woods, but you must promise me not to attempt things like this until I have taught you. Will you solemnly promise me that, Di’taro?”
“Yes, father, I want to learn.”
The memory would be a perfect one except for the one detail that did not fit.
In his memory, his father had appeared behind him, from the direction opposite of the cabin, where his father had been when he had snuck away, and yet he had managed to pass around Gully unnoticed. It should not have been possible. That was the part that sometimes made it feel more like a dream than a real memory. Gully supposed that, somewhere when he wasn’t paying attention, the dream and the real memory merged into one thing. But Gully felt so absolutely sure that it all had happened as he remembered, for the very next day was when his father began in earnest to teach him everything he knew about living among the bogs, marshes and woods.
The distraught worry and fear on his father’s face when he had turned to see him still burned into Gully; he had never wanted to upset his father, but not out of fear of suffering the man’s anger. Even when he had been a bad child and had disobeyed his father, Ollon never scolded him unnecessarily, and he never did it out of anger.
Gully stared through the darkness around him, not a soul that he could see stirring in the entire encampment. How could he have gone his entire life with his father before he disappeared without ever learning the truth about him and whom he was? Why had his father never said anything to him, never taught him about balmors and the empire of Balmorea? Part of him wanted to feel that the conclusions the patriarch had arrived at had been the product of a few unfortunate coincidences, that his father was not Balmorean and was not a balmor. That the scar on his palm was an early childhood accident and not this “blood seal” he spoke of. That the man Gully thought of as his father really was his father. But he felt inside that it must be the truth. It fit too well and explained things too precisely.
And so, Gully tried to feel angry, even betrayed, that his father had kept these things from him. That in the short time they had together, he had kept the most important part of himself from his son. He tried to think that his father didn’t care for him the way he thought he had and that was why he never trusted Gully with these secrets.
He tried to stir up anger inside himself, but he could not do it. Every memory of his father, every moment they were together, reminded Gully that he had never once felt like he was anything less than the most important person in the world to him. The patriarch had spoken almost those very words out loud to Gully, and he felt how true it was reverberate in every memory he had of his father, Ollon. Almost every moment, from the day he tried to help by fetching a bucket of water forward, his father spent teaching Gully — plants to eat and avoid and which ones had useful properties, tracking and hunting, navigating the forest and spotting trustworthy ground from a concealed and deadly bog by sight alone, the letters of the alphabet and reading words, and basic maintenance of the cabin where they lived.
Gully wondered if that was why they did not spend time on the history of an empire long since crumbled away and his father’s dual-bodied nature; his father concentrated so deeply on teaching him skills necessary to his survival that other topics waited. And then perhaps waited too long before their time together was interrupted.
Gully sighed and wished he had had more time with him. He could think of nothing he would not give or do to know his father was still alive and to get to see him again.
As he mulled over these wistful thoughts, a slight motion in the black shadows caught his attention. It was something large, but moving low to the ground. A moment later, he saw the gleam of two amber eyes as they flashed the reflected light of the fire’s embers. He began to back up a step, unsure of what it was, and then the light caught it enough so that Gully recognized it as a massive panther cat, as black as the night around it, stalking around the periphery of the fire.
He would have instantly panicked at the sight of such a dangerous creature so close by, except that, now, he assumed that any animals in the Mercher camp were, in fact, people.
As if to confirm this, the panther nodded its head at him briefly in greeting. It was a strangely human gesture to see on a cat large enough to take down a Belder horse as it acknowledged him and then continued on its patrol of the camp.
So caught up was Gully in watching the panther silently make its rounds that he jumped in surprise at the hand that touched his shoulder. He wheeled around to find, he assumed, Gallun standing behind him, as naked as usual.
Gallun, forgetting he had no tongue, tried to speak to calm Gully, but all that came out was a series of unintelligible mutters. Gallun frowned in frustration and his shoulders drooped as he remembered he could no longer speak. Even in the dark, Gully could see the look of miserable chagrin on his face.
Gully said, “I am fine, uh... Gallun? Yes?”
Gallun nodded and Gully added, “You startled me, nothing more. I... I began thinking back about my father and came outside to clear my head.”
Gallun nodded, then stretched and yawned widely. An almost animal growl escaped from his chest as he did so. He slapped Gully on the shoulder a few times, then nodded back towards the shanty for him to go back to bed.
“Yes, you’re right. I think it is time to go back to sleep,” said Gully, following him inside.
In the dark, as Gully felt his way back to his mat, he briefly felt the fur of a sleeping wolf next to him. He assumed that Gellen must have shifted in his sleep.
As he fell back asleep, he wondered what he would say to Roald without his brother thinking him hopelessly addled. And since he would not be able to bring the two brothers back to Lohrdanwuld as evidence against the guards and veBasstrolle without publicly exposing the Mercher clan, he wondered how he would be able to put a stop to the evil those men were doing.
He had seen and learned so much, so many unbelievable things, so many things that changed how he saw his own life, but felt no closer to any resolution than he had when he had started out.
~~~~~
Gully awoke again to the first early gray of morning light as it began to creep into the shanty. With the faint light slipping in through the cracks, he found that he was now alone and that Gallun and Gellen had slipped out while he had slept.
He stretched and yawned and shook the last of his sleep off, then stepped outside to see if he could find either of the two brothers.
Many in the camp were starting to stir as well and beginning their chores for the day. No one seemed to live in any semblance of luxury or comfort at all, but neither did they seem to want for very much. Most had fixed up their living quarters a little bit better than the truly meager one that served as Gallun’s and Gellen’s, who Gully guessed lived the most meagerly of all in the camp.
The more people he saw in the early morning light, the more it confirmed for him how his father must have been Balmorean. They all had thick, black hair and their skin had a faint olive tone to it, just as he remembered in his father. There were all ages represented, from mothers carrying newborns up to a few as old as even the patriarch. Some, like he remembe
red seeing on Exoutur and Encender, had graying hair. Some of the men kept beards like his father had had, and others kept themselves shaved clean.
It was remarkable to see the animals present among the people, with no one giving it a thought. He saw a large black panther, he assumed the same one he had seen during the night, whose size was still daunting to Gully. There was a black bear trundling along with an arm around a fellow a little older than Gully, as if the two of them were best friends. An elderly lady smiled an almost toothless grin at him as she nodded a greeting, all while an owl with a black face and brown-and-black stippled body flapped to remain balanced on her head. It was the kind of owl that Gully knew of as a pilcher owl. Gully wondered how the owl’s talons did not tear into the woman’s head, until he noticed she wore a coif hat made of a thick, stiff leather to prevent such injury.
A couple of foxes, a lynx cat, and a young girl of probably fourteen years went racing past him in what looked like a game of chase. One of the foxes was a red one and the other a black one. The two foxes were similarly sized to how he remembered Pe’taro, but neither of them had the distinctive color that his pet had. Or, perhaps more properly, that his father had. Gully realized it was going to take some time to get used to thinking of Pe’taro as being his father. The foxes, the lynx, and the girl crashed together in a happy, giggling ball almost knocking over a man carrying a goose that had been slaughtered and plucked.
A moment later, Gully almost shouted in panic when he saw a baby, barely of age to toddle, wander unsteadily over to an unaware wolf nearby and then grabbing into its fur for balance. Gully’s fear took over and expected the wolf to turn on the child viciously. Instead, the wolf turned and licked the child’s face affectionately a couple of times. Then it was suddenly a grown man to whom the child was clinging, who swept up the delighted child into his broad arms.
Most everyone was friendly enough towards him, waving and wishing him a good morning, so Gully assumed most everyone was aware of his “capture.” It wasn’t until he heard his name called from behind him that he recognized a voice, though.
He turned to see Encender approaching him, carrying the bag that Gully had lost when he had fainted at the sight of Raybb the bear the day before.
Encender did not wish him a good morning, but he did not seem to want to continue trying to kill Gully for the safety of the clan, either.
Encender handed Gully’s bag to him and said, “My father insisted that I return this to you. And this as well.” He pulled Gully’s throwing knife from his belt, flipped it skillfully in his hand, and handed it back to its owner by the handle.
Gully accepted the return of his belongings, replacing the knife to its spot in his boot. He had been feeling its absence and felt whole again once the handle pressed reassuringly against his ankle. “Thank you, Encender,” said Gully. “Er... I want to assure you that I mean no harm to the clan.”
Encender shrugged and said gruffly, “Of course you don’t. But even if you did, you’d say that very same thing, now wouldn’t you? So your words have no value to me. And I also hear that you are a thief, by your own admission. It baffles me whom my father accepts among us, but you can rest easy that I will honor his decision.”
A girl, perhaps only a couple of years younger than Gully, approached behind Encender without a word. She was striking, with piercing dark eyes and hair kept shorter than most of the other women Gully had seen. She had a long and elegant nose that highlighted her face extremely well. The girl placed her hand on Encender’s shoulder. She didn’t say a word, but made a few motions with her hand that Encender seemed to understand without difficulty.
Encender glanced at Gully, frowned impatiently, and said, “Bayle, this is my daughter, Abella Jule. Abella, this is our... guest... Bayle Delescer, who lives in Lohrdanwuld even though he claims to have grown up in the bogs and marshes south of here.”
Gully remembered the patriarch mentioning his granddaughter, the only one besides Gallun and Gellen that had been rescued from enslavement in Maqara.
Gully held his hand up and said, “Aye. It is very nice to meet you, Abella Jule.” The girl held her hand up as well and smiled very sincerely at him, but Encender took her by the elbow. He said curtly, “My wife has requested I come see her, and Abella must accompany me back.”
Without waiting for either his daughter or Gully to respond, he walked away swiftly, still holding onto his daughter’s arm. Gully could hear him warn her, in a whisper still loud enough for all around to hear, “He is a thief and to be avoided, Abella.”
Gully’s heart sank a little at the words, but he had admitted his vocation to them, and he therefore could not begrudge Encender’s reluctance to believe his claim that he meant them no harm.
He hoisted his bag onto his shoulder and turned to go back the way he had come to return to Gallun’s and Gellen’s shack. This time, Gully kept his eyes more focused on his feet as he trudged along, only looking up to make sure he was walking the correct way.
He had gone only a short distance when he heard his name called again, and he looked up to see the large man, Raybb, both human and bear form together, waving him over to a fire where they, or rather he, was preparing what looked like breakfast.
Even through the beard that hid his mouth, he could tell Raybb was smiling at him, and it made Gully’s spirits lift a little. And it was quite remarkable to watch both a man and a bear working in perfect unison to prepare food.
Raybb said with his rumbling voice, “Good morning, Bayle!”
“Ho there, Raybb, good morning,” said Gully. “Have you seen Gallun or Gellen, by chance?”
“They left early to go hunting. They will be back any time now, I would expect.” Raybb pointed a spoon at the bag slung around Gully’s shoulder. “I see Encender returned your belongings to you. You received your knife back as well?”
“Yes, I got that back, too,” said Gully.
The human half of Raybb paused to talk to Gully while the bear half continued with breakfast. Gully found it fascinating to watch a bear perform such tasks, a human intelligence unmistakably behind the motions rather than the clumsy fumbling of even a tamed and well-trained bear. The only thing that seemed to limit the bear was what it could handle due to having claws instead of hands, but the human half of Raybb would reach over without a thought and without looking when a hand was absolutely necessary.
Raybb said, his voice softer and kindly, “I know that Encender can seem bitter and unforgiving, but do not judge him too harshly, Bayle. He is tasked with our protection and survival as a people, and he is fighting a battle that he knows he can only lose one day, no matter how desperately he, and all of us, want him to succeed.”
Without even looking back, Raybb took a wooden bowl from his bear half and began to stir the pasty looking contents as they talked.
“And when Gallun and Gellen did not return from their hunt over a week ago, it worried everyone. If the most prepared among us can be taken, then what chance do we stand as a people?” said Raybb sadly.
Gully said, “Encender has every right to be suspicious. The people of Lohrdanwuld are scared witless about the disappearances. They have no idea how they happen, and no one in the entire kingdom seems to have any way of stopping them. Of course, now I know the truth... those in power have no interest in stopping these disappearances! They profit from them! And they lay the blame on you, the rumored gypsies, monsters, cannibals even, deep in the woods. To be truthful, I imagine they don’t work harder to find you because you serve a purpose. You take the blame for their deeds and serve as another easy source of slaves they can sell to Maqara. It is all infuriating to me!”
He added, “But as you said, I do not judge Encender harshly for his opinion of me. No one has any real basis to place trust in me, and I accept that. But does he not judge Gallun and Gellen too harshly? Who is telling him not to judge them so cruelly, especially after what has happened to them?”
“Well, the patriarch, for one,” said Raybb.
“But you must understand, it is deeply ingrained in our clan and in Balmorean culture to see their capture as a grave failure in their duty, so the patriarch faces a difficult task in changing hearts and minds among the clan in this respect.”
Raybb’s bear-half finished what he could do in his preparations and sat down on the ground next to them with a loud grunt. Gully glanced at the bear again curiously.
Raybb laughed and said, “I am sorry for scaring you so yesterday evening.”
“You were doing your part to protect the clan,” said Gully with a shrug.
Gully blushed slightly for a moment and then asked, “Er... Raybb... this is probably a strange request and probably inappropriate. Would it... would you mind if I touched the bear?” Gully turned even redder in the face once he had spoken the request out loud. “I do not believe I would ever have this kind of strange opportunity anywhere else,” he said rapidly, in way of explanation. His embarrassment was only barely overcome by the unique opportunity he felt like he had.
Raybb roared with laughter and said, “You are welcome to do so! The clan is so used to it that we think nothing of the animal forms among us. After all, they really are all people, even if they are shaped like what you have only ever known of as wild animals.”