Though he wanted to say she was all wrong…he couldn’t. Not totally. He hadn’t given her the chance to spread her wings. Instead he’d chosen to try and protect her from a harsh world outside the county line surrounding Mule Hollow. In doing so he’d asked her to choose between his love and her dreams.
He’d given her no choice. What would she have been if he’d held her back?
Will took a long hard look at himself and didn’t like what he saw.
But he knew the truth now. He’d sent Haley running, and it was up to him to get her to stop. No matter what it cost him.
Will waited until nine o’clock to drive over to Applegate’s place. There wasn’t any sense making her angrier in case she’d decided to sleep late…although the boys had assured him she was planning on rising early to hit the road. That being the case, he wanted to give her a little time to adjust to the fact that she was stuck.
He pulled up the drive and parked his truck beside Haley’s car. Pausing as he closed the truck’s door, he glanced around the yard. The wind had picked up and the sting of it whispered that the temperature was dropping yet again. Flipping his collar up, Will strode onto the porch and knocked on the heavy wooden door.
After the second knock, he went in search of Haley. Thinking she may have gone for a ride, he walked toward the barn to check things out. Applegate’s house was an older place, a sprawling ranch of brick and wood, and his barn was a classic—red plank two-story. There was a hayloft up top and stalls below that lined both sides of a wide alley.
The double doors were slightly open. Inside, the barn smelled of sweet hay and horses. Walking down the center alley between horse stalls, it only took one look to see that Haley hadn’t taken any of them out for a ride, so she had to be somewhere nearby.
“Hey, Puddin,” he said when the curious horse stuck her head over the gate. “Where’s our girl?” Will asked, reaching out to rub the star between her eyes before turning to head back out the way he’d come. He was midway down the alley when he heard a sound and looked up—just in time for a huge pile of loose hay to land on his head. He barely had time to duck his chin before it covered him.
“I’m not your girl,” Haley snapped.
So much for her having calmed down, Will thought, shaking off the hay and looking up at her. She stood with pitchfork in hand, beat-up cowboy hat, jeans stuffed into her boots and watched him with cool eyes.
“Real funny,” he said, pushing his hat up with his thumb.
“It wasn’t meant to be.”
She sounded about as friendly as the hissing alligator had the day before. But she was dazzling standing up there looking like Elly May Clampett, and Will couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face.
Haley’s brows met and her lips flattened. “Will, go home, please.”
She sounded sad, and all he wanted was to make her smile. To let her know that he knew she was struggling. “I can’t. Not until you come down here. We need to talk.”
Her eyes clouded and her grip tightened on the pitchfork.
“But leave the pitchfork up there, please. I’d feel safer.” He watched her as she shifted her weight from one leg to the other. Then, just when he thought she might tell him to get lost, she jammed the pitchfork into the hay bale and climbed down the ladder.
“So,” she said, crossing her arms and pinning him with wary eyes. “I’m listening.”
“I heard you were leaving.”
“Applegate tell you that?”
Will nodded, and she rolled her eyes.
“I should have known. I told him I was leaving as soon as I woke this morning. But, now I think I’m being held prisoner,” she huffed.
Despite the emotions rippling inside of him, Will had to fight a smile…. This was his Haley Bell. A bit of fire and sweet all wrapped up together. “What makes you say that?” he asked just because he wanted to hear her explain it.
“My car won’t start, and no one will come out and take a look at it. Purdy went fishing.” She looked disgusted. “Like I believe that. And everyone else had pressing business that had to be tended to today, so no one else, all five that I called anyway, could get over here today, much less this morning, to help me.”
Will took his hat off, held its rim with both hands and studied it for a long moment. “If you’ll hear me out, then I’ll see what I can do about it.”
She studied him for a long moment; Will could see her mind working. And he prayed he didn’t say something stupid. He’d finally started thinking after Applegate and Stanley left this morning. He’d also spent some quality time with the Lord praying for direction. He’d realized that God might have given him a second chance, but if he were to ever have a future with Haley, then they needed time. He needed her to stick around.
“Look, Haley. I let you down in the worst way. I know that now, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t love you. It just means I was a blind fool.”
Her expression was uncompromising as she stared at him, green eyes as bright as emeralds in sunlight, her jaw set at an unforgiving slant. The woman could be as stubborn as a mule sometimes. Shifting from boot to boot, Will slapped his hat against his hip then rammed a hand through his hair. He’d just basically said he loved her, and she acted like she hadn’t even heard him. He knew there was more to this than she was acknowledging; he’d felt it in the way she’d responded to his kiss. A woman couldn’t hide something like that. It was what gave him hope that with time he could right this wrong. But this wasn’t about him, at least not for the immediate time being. This was about Haley and Applegate, so he backed away from his feelings and focused on what he’d come to do.
And that was to right another wrong he’d caused.
Feeling as jittery as if she was about to jump from an airplane without a parachute, Haley took a step away from Will. Even though she was still mad at him, she couldn’t deny that he fuddled her brain when he was so close. Now that a little time had cooled her temper, the irrational part of her was starting to think about how wonderful she’d felt for those brief moments that she’d been in his arms. Distance wasn’t helping as she took a steadying breath, hoping to clear her head. But nothing was helping because he’d said he’d loved her. Back then, all those years ago.
But she summoned up some outrage at the irony that he sure had a funny way of showing that love. What did that say about a man when he was so caught up in himself that he had no concept of how he’d hurt her by his lack of belief in her? The scars of his betrayal had impacted everything she’d done from that moment on.
Though she was physically and emotionally attracted to him even now, that deep anger that had erupted from her when he’d kissed her still left her shaken. She’d never known so much rage and resentment lived inside of her. His kiss had brought it all up, and she’d cracked under the pressure. The fact that he looked so contrite and concerned irritated her more.
“What do you want, Will?” she said tersely, just wanting him to leave. The man had no concept of loving her for who she really was. From his actions back then he’d proved that he loved the idea of her only as the balm that boosted his ego, that he adored the package as long as the brain stayed dormant and out of his way. That he would make the decisions that would determine their life and toss her needs to the side. That wasn’t love. Not the kind of love she ever wanted a part of. No matter what, she wouldn’t let herself weaken enough to go there again.
“Look, I stepped out of line yesterday and I’m sorry. We have a past together. A history that we will always share. And I have to admit that the selfish part of me wants to keep you here so that I can convince you to give us another chance. But, Haley, here’s the deal. If you were to leave here again because of me and deprive Applegate of the holidays with you, I’d never forgive myself. So I’m asking you, whether you forgive me or not, I’m asking you to stay until Christmas, at least, for Applegate. This isn’t about us, but about you and your grandfather. Please stay. I’ll stay away from you if that’s what yo
u want. I promise. I’ll keep out of your way as much as humanly possible. And I won’t say another word about my feelings.”
Haley knew he was telling the truth where Applegate was concerned. “I’ll think about staying until Christmas,” she said. “But no trying to kiss me. I can’t think straight when you kiss me.” She shouldn’t have said that and wasn’t happy that she’d admitted it to him.
He held her gaze steady, locked his jaw hard, and she got the distinct feeling that he, like she, was remembering the kisses they’d shared the day before.
“I said I’d stay out of your way. That means no more kisses,” he said at last. “If that’s what it takes for you to stay around for a little while. Applegate deserves that, Haley. And I’m sorry that I got in the way of it. I’ll go now. I just thought you needed to know how I felt.” He started to leave, then paused as if to add something but instead spun away and left her to think.
Applegate did deserve more from her. She’d already acknowledged it, and here she was about to run again. He’d been there for her every step of her life, and what had she done for him?
Will was striding purposefully away from her. She followed at a slower pace. At the barn door, she watched him get into his truck, feeling a tug of tears for lost dreams. When he turned to give her one last look, she lifted her chin almost as a shield against the emotions she saw written in his expression. She wasn’t sure what she saw there…. Anger, sadness, regret…love?
Regret. She knew that one well, so welcome to the club. Because of him, she felt as if her entire life had been one long regret after the other. And this disastrous thing between them was the root of it. A blast of ice-cold wind swept around the corner of the barn and hit Haley full force, stinging her cheeks and making her eyes water. She gasped and told herself the tears slipping from her eyes were simply a reaction to the bite of the air. But watching him leave caused her heart to swell, as if it would burst. She swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. Will Sutton had ruled her life from the moment she’d first fallen in love with him.
It was true. Every turn, good or bad, she’d ever made had been because of her love for him or her anger at him. She’d said she didn’t look back, but everything behind her had driven her to become the woman she was today. Even now, she was making choices for her future based not on what she wanted but on what she was trying to leave behind. And that was Will. To be honest, in the beginning it had been the town not letting her grow up, but it was mostly Will that fueled her choices now.
It wasn’t right. She’d been exhausted and on the verge of depression when she’d arrived here weeks ago. She closed her eyes and threw back her head in frustration as more tears threatened.
She had to get off the merry-go-round.
She had to break the cycle.
It was so simple. What did she want? What did she want to do with her life? What would make her happy?
She didn’t exactly have answers, but she did know running back to Beverly Hills wasn’t the answer.
Haley sucked in the frigid air, then hurried across the yard and up the steps into her grandpa’s house.
The last thing he’d urged her to do before she went to sleep the night before was to ask God to guide her. She’d been too upset and angry to turn to God. Not only now, but for years. Yet, she felt an overwhelming need to talk to Him now. She could blame Will for only so much. She was an adult and if she ever wanted to respect herself, she had to be accountable for her own choices.
Sinking into a chair at the table, Haley let her gaze roam slowly around her grandparents’ home. “Dear Lord.” The words came out cracked and awkward. Her eyes rested on the picture of her grandparents on the hall wall. Their smiles urged her to continue.
It was time to change her life. She might not understand what was going to make her happy, but she finally understood that to figure it out and be happy, really happy…she had to confront her problems straightforwardly and not by looking back.
She bowed her head and started over. “Dear Lord.” Her words were stronger, fueled by conviction. If she wanted change in her life, then she had to mean it and it had to start with sincere prayer.
Chapter Nineteen
“Thanks for the lift, Lacy,” Haley said, hopping out of the Caddy.
“You call me anytime. And, Haley, I do believe God has a plan for you here.”
Haley glanced toward the diner then back to Lacy. “I’m not sure what He has planned for me. But I think that if Applegate wants me to hang around here badly enough to sabotage my car, and I really do think he did—” she smiled at his antics, both funny, yet sad, to her “—then I’m going to do it.”
“But are you happy? Haley, you’ve got to be happy.”
“Lacy, it’s been so long since I was truly happy that I’m not sure what that is anymore. But I feel confident that this is the right thing to do. Do you know what I mean?”
Lacy smiled, reached a hand out and laid it over Haley’s resting on the car door. “I do. I’m praying for you. And I hope you know that Jesus says to approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Haley, you have a lot going on. Please remember that God will help you.”
Feeling confident that turning to the Lord had been the first right decision she’d made in a long time, Haley squeezed Lacy’s hand. “Thank you. Okay, time to break the news. See you later.”
Taking a deep breath, she spun and walked up onto the sidewalk and through the swinging doors into the diner.
The jukebox was just finishing up a lively Jerry Lee tune with the man burning up the piano keys as she entered. Instantly, greetings rushed in to fill the ensuing silence.
It was, she realized, not something she’d ever get living anywhere but Mule Hollow.
“Hello, Haley Bell.”
“How’s it going, Haley Bell?”
“Looking good today, Haley Bell!”
Feeling more sure about her decision, she waved at each person and moved to the windowseat where Applegate and Stanley were bent over an intense game of checkers. Suspiciously intense, as a matter of fact. So much so that they hadn’t heard all the commotion she’d stirred up walking in—yeah, right. She knew from where they were sitting that they’d seen her get out of Lacy’s car. It was more than apparent to her that they were pretending because they obviously had something to hide. Like incapacitating her car.
She placed her hands on her hips and cleared her throat loudly, tapping her boot as she studied their bald spots and waited.
After a moment, they slowly lifted their graying heads, doing a horribly bad job of looking surprised to see her. Oh, brother, she thought, hiding her smile.
“Haley Bell, darlin’!” Applegate exclaimed and Stanley echoed his greeting.
“Helllooo, fellas. Mind if I join you?”
Applegate stood and stole a chair from the table behind him. “Sure, sure. Sa-ammm,” he yelled. “Haley Bell needs a sweet tea! And a hamburger. You want a hamburger? Yeah, a hamburger,” he bellowed when she nodded.
By now Haley was almost in stitches. “My car wouldn’t start this morning. Imagine that?” she said. “And I was a little hurt that you didn’t hang around this morning to tell me goodbye. It’s almost lunch-time now. I mean, you did remember that I was leaving this morning, first thing. Right?”
“Of course I remembered. But why would I want to hang around just to watch you drive off?”
Haley’s heart wrenched with love for her ornery grandpa.
“Yeah, Haley Bell, Applegate ain’t getting any younger. Watching you drive off mighta been more’ n his ol’ heart could stand. Did you ever thank about that? He might just drop in yer tracks watchin’ you drive off. Jest fall flat out in yer dust and that’d be it.”
“I get the picture, Stanley,” Haley chuckled. They were sure amping up the pity party. Laying a hand on Applegate’s, she leaned in and kissed his wash-board cheek. “Not that I think you’re leaving me anyt
ime soon, but I did some thinking and praying about the driving off and leaving you behind bit.”
“What’s going on over here?” Sam said, setting an amber glass of tea in front of her. “Applegate, you cause more ruckus than yer worth, disturbing my customers like that.” He glared at her grandpa and smiled at her. “Your burger’s comin up in a minute. I tossed the beef on the grill. Now, what’s going on?”
Haley glanced around the table, clasped her hands together and smiled, confident this was the right thing to do. “Grandpa, what would you think about me moving home to Mule Hollow?”
For a second everything was stone-cold silent.
“Did you say, ‘movin home’?” Applegate asked, his eyes brightening.
Haley nodded.
“Sam, did ya hear that? My Haley’s moving home. Stanley, did ya hear?”
Haley laughed when she was suddenly engulfed in a bear hug. And it hit her that she’d just made the right decision. It might be complicated for her and a little bit hard, but it was right. She felt it deep inside.
Sam’s wrinkles stretched to their limits, his grin was so big. “Well, Haley, it’s about time you came to yor senses and come back where you belong.”
Stanley slapped his hands together and grinned. “I think this calls for apple pie all around. What’d y’ all thank about that?”
Haley grinned. “Stanley, I thank you’re right. Sam, bring on the pie.”
The news traveled fast that Haley Bell Thornton was here to stay. By the time the evening came around and she entered the community center to paint props, Haley figured everyone had heard. Including Will.
She’d had a busy afternoon, and while her head was spinning from the response she’d received from everyone in Mule Hollow, her ears were still burning from what Sugar had had to say about the news.
It had not been pretty.
But Haley felt a mixture of excitement, relief and trepidation about the entire idea. Of course, as she’d stressed to Sugar, it was all good. It was all going to work out great because Haley had a plan.
Operation: Married by Christmas Page 15