by Marie York
I rested my hand on top of hers, and, with the other, grabbed her wrist, and yanked her to me. The slightest squeal fell from her lips, and I was suddenly determined to make her squeal my name. I dragged my finger down the length of her jaw, resting it under her chin, and urging her to look at me. Her big brown eyes blinked once, twice, before focusing completely on me. “Nothing feels as good as you.”
Her teeth slid over her pouty bottom lip. “So, why are you resisting me?”
I rested my head against her forehead. Her lips were shiny with gloss and calling my name. “We already had this conversation.”
“But then you fucked me and took off.”
“I thought we were going to forget about it?”
“I said, for now. But now has passed, and I’m ready to talk about it.”
I took a much needed step back, and shook my head. “I’m not.”
“Why not?”
The words were on my lips, but then the coffee guy awkwardly approached us.
“Hi Kennedy,” he said, and her eyes bulged, which was strange.
“Hi. Jimmy. Hi. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at the cart?”
“I had to take care of something this morning, so I switched shifts.”
Kennedy fidgeted with her hands as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Her eyes avoided making direct contact with Jimmy. What the fuck was going on?
I nudged her shoulder. “Why are you acting weird?”
“I’m not acting weird.”
“You’re acting weird. Wait a second. Is he the reason you were being all crazy about walking this way?”
She waved my question away. “Whatever. Let’s just go. Bye, Jimmy. It was good seeing you.” With a clumsy wave, she grabbed my hand, and yanked me down the sidewalk, only verifying my suspicion.
“Kennedy, hang on,” Jimmy called out. “I have your um… your dress. It’s at my place.”
“Shit,” Kennedy mumbled under her breath.
My vision blurred, and all I saw was red.
Chapter 4
Anger surged through me, and I dropped her hand. “Why the fuck do you have her dress?” I yelled, storming toward Coffee Boy.
His hands flung up in front of him, as if that would stop me from pummeling him to the ground and beating his pretty boy face in.
Kennedy grabbed my arm, but I ripped it from her grip, and surged forward.
“Beckham, knock it off!” she yelled, but her voice was muffled by the fury rushing through my ears.
I pointed at Jimmy as Kennedy continued to yank on my arm. Her hands barely going halfway around my bicep. “I’ll fucking kill you.”
“Beckham!” She jumped in front of me, and shoved my chest hard. “This isn’t what you think.”
“It isn’t? Your dress just magically appeared at his place? So, tell me, Ken, who felt better? Me or him?”
Disgust and anger pooled in her eyes, but before I could really put the nail in the coffin, she raised her hand, and slapped me. For a little thing, she had some power behind that hit. If I wasn’t so crazy with rage, I might even be proud of her. My cheek stung, but it was nothing compared to the betrayal gnawing at my heart. I actually welcomed the pain.
Her gaze darkened, and, if she could shoot lasers with her eyes, she would’ve cut me into a million tiny pieces. “Fuck you!”
“I clearly got in the middle of something,” Jimmy said.
“Shut up,” Kennedy and I both yelled.
“So, what exactly happened that night?” I asked.
“We forgot about it, remember?” she growled. “You don’t want to talk about it.”
I didn’t want to talk about it when I thought I was the asshole in the situation, but now… “Well, now I do.”
“Too fucking bad. I don’t.”
“I don’t give a shit what you want right now. You were so pissed at me, storming off, and disappearing into the bar. So, what happened next? No, let me guess. You wanted to forget about me. Find a guy who could erase me from your mind. So, you fucked this poor sap?”
“Think what you want,” she spat.
“Wait a minute!” Jimmy shrieked. Kennedy and I spun toward him. He waved his finger between Kennedy and himself. “You have it all wrong.”
“So, you didn’t take her back to your place?”
“Well yes, but…” the rest of his words cut off when I wrapped my hand around his throat.
“Beckham! Let him go!”
I lessened my grip, but didn’t release him. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t break his fucking neck?”
Kennedy threw her hands in the air, and let out a heavy breath. “He’s gay.”
My hand fell from Jimmy’s neck. He grabbed at it, rubbing and massaging, and making me feel guilty for the red handprint splotch marking his skin.
“Wait. What?” I asked, my eyes going right to Jimmy, not trusting Kennedy to give me the entire truth. “Sorry. You okay?” I asked, resting a hand on his shoulder.
“That’s some grip you got there,” Jimmy said with a laugh. He cleared his throat. “I think I’m good now.”
“Good. Can someone tell me what the fuck is going on?”
Jimmy looked to Kennedy, a million questions in his eyes. She shrugged and then nodded.
“She was really drunk that night. Like stumbling over herself. And she was alone. She couldn’t find her friend, or get a hold of her on the phone. I asked her what her address was, and she gave me her parents’ address, which isn’t even in this state. I knew I couldn’t leave her alone. So, I took her to my place to sleep it off. She puked all over her dress, so I helped her out of it, and washed it. The next morning, she borrowed a pair of my sweats, and went home without her dress.”
Jimmy’s words settled in, and I turned to Kennedy. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.
Tears welled in her eyes, but being the strong girl she was, she forced them away. “I didn’t want you to know because… I didn’t want you to actually believe I needed a babysitter. Because I don’t. I just had a bad night. And look. Everything turned out fine.”
“Yeah, because of Jimmy here. What would’ve happened if he wasn’t there?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered.
I turned to Jimmy, and held out my hand. He hesitated for a moment before accepting my offer. “Thank you for taking care of her. I don’t even want to think about what would happen if you weren’t there. And I’m sorry about…” I motioned to his neck. “I may have overreacted.”
“It’s okay.” Jimmy gave a half-hearted smile, and then looked over my shoulder, holding Kennedy’s attention as he spoke. “The romantic in me found it endearing. I only wish that I find a man one day who cares that much about me.” He winked at Kennedy. “I’m going to get going now. Your dress is ready whenever you are.”
“Thanks, Jimmy,” Kennedy said, and gave a meek wave.
Jimmy walked away, and Kennedy, who wouldn’t even make eye contact with me, went to follow behind him.
I grabbed her arm, and pulled her back to me. “Not so fast. We’re not done here.”
“I have to get to class.”
“Fuck class.”
“What would Nix think if he knew you were encouraging me to skip class?”
“Don’t you fucking use your brother against me.”
“Why? You do it all the time.”
I ran my hand over my bun, wanting to rip my hair out of my head. She was so frustrating, but she was right. I’d been using Nix as an excuse since that first kiss on her sixteenth birthday. It was easy. Easier than admitting the truth.
“I’m sorry,” I finally said.
Shock flashed across her features. “For what?”
“For leaving you that night. For letting you walk away from me. I never should’ve let you go.”
Her jaw tightened, and her lips pushed into a straight line. “But you did, and you broke my heart… again.”
The words penetrated the thick wall around
my own heart, piercing it. Dammit. I warned her because I knew… “What did I tell you? I don’t make love. You wanted me to fuck you. Fucking doesn’t require a person to stick around and shoot the breeze afterward.”
“I know. I just hoped that I was different. That you’d actually want to stick around. But I can’t fault you for that. Like you said, you warned me. I was just a naïve little girl who thought she could change you.” A tear slipped, and fell down her cheek. I reached out to wipe it away, but she slapped my hand away. “Don’t. It’s hard to hate you when you’re always so damn nice to me.”
I wanted to take her in my arms and comfort her. Tell her all the things she wanted to hear, but I wasn’t that guy. I couldn’t give her what she wanted, and, because of that, I had to let her go.
“Let me make it easy for you, then,” I said, and walked away, regretting every single step, but I kept going, never turning back.
Chapter 5
It’d been two days since I walked away from Kennedy, and not a second had gone by that I hadn’t thought about her. I don’t know when I became some pathetic sap, but, somewhere along the way, I did. I missed her laugh, and the way her nose crinkled when she didn’t like something I said. Most of all, I just missed having her around.
I headed down the path toward the coffee cart, ten minutes later than usual, knowing she’d already be halfway to class. My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I slipped it out to see Nix’s name flash across the screen.
Nix: How’s life on the east coast?
Beck: Thrilling.
Nix: Let me guess. Dry spell?
If he only knew.
Beck: Nah. Fucked a blonde last night.
As soon as I hit send, I felt guilty. I hated lying to my best friend. Hated the guy I used to be, that I felt the need to be some kind of womanizing douchebag.
Nix: Good for you. I’ve been too busy training, haven’t had time to get laid.
There weren’t many things Nix loved more than sex, but, his fighting, I never knew anyone as dedicated to anything as he was to fighting. He’d become a different person since that first time he stepped into the ring. The training, the devotion… it gave him something to live for. I envied him for finding that passion.
Beck: You’re doing what you love that’s better than doing some random girl.
Nix: How’s Kennedy?
I had no idea, but I was on my way to find out. In the meantime, I lied to my best friend for the second time.
Beck: Good. She seems to be adjusting well. You’d be proud. Heading into class. Talk later.
I shoved my phone in my pocket, and approached the coffee cart. There was no line, probably because everyone was already in his or her first class. Jimmy spotted me, and looked at me with a bit of fear, but when I smiled, the fear faded.
“What can I get you?” he asked.
“I’ll take a large coffee.”
“Do you take it like Kennedy? One sugar and skim?
“That’s fine. Speaking of Kennedy, have you seen her?”
Jimmy poured milk into the cup, and then glanced up at me. “Every morning. The girl never misses her coffee.”
At least I knew she was going to class. “How’s she doing?”
“She seems okay. A little sadder than usual, but I assume you know that, considering you’re looking the same.”
“Is that your way of telling me I look like shit?”
“No, that’s my way of telling you to stop acting like a petulant child, and go talk to her.”
My eyes widened at the bluntness in his tone and the delivery. “You don’t have to be so bitchy about it,” I joked.
“Bitch is my middle name. Hidden beneath the manly façade.”
“You’re alright,” I said, as he handed me my coffee.
“You’d be too if you stopped being so damn stubborn.” It was like he was my conscious, talking and telling me what I already knew, but didn’t want to admit to myself.
Staying away from Kennedy was harder than I ever imagined it would be, and, apparently, it was hard on her too. So, why not give in, and just give the two of us what we wanted? I might not be able to give her much more than sex, but I wouldn’t mind cuddling afterward. Funny, since that used to scare the shit out of me. I never let a girl stay at my place long after, but Kennedy wasn’t some girl, and if she wanted to stay, I’d let her.
I already missed the first twenty minutes of my class, so I decided to sit outside of the building where Kennedy’s class was. I still had forty minutes before her class ended, and she was out, but I didn’t mind waiting.
The sun beat down, and I closed my eyes, resting my hands on the back of my head, and leaning against the bench. I think I dosed off, catching up on the sleep I’d been missing, thinking about Kennedy.
“Hey Becks,” a squeaky voice said, and I popped an eye open. The blonde with a nice rack smiled. “Where have you been hiding?” she asked, sitting down beside me.
“Here and there,” I replied, while trying to figure out where I knew her from. The tits looked familiar, but I couldn’t quite pinpoint them.
“We miss you down at McGuires,” she said, and it finally clicked.
She was a waitress there. When I first transferred, I’d spent a lot of time at that bar. They had good beer, hot chicks, and there was always a game on. I tried to remember if I fucked her or just hooked up with her, but I didn’t think I did either.
People started coming out of the building, and I glanced down at my phone. Kennedy would be here soon. The last thing I needed was for her to come out, and see me talking to another girl. I’d hoped that she wouldn’t jump to the wrong conclusion, but knowing Kennedy, and our history, I didn’t want to take any chances testing my theory.
“Been busy, but I’ll try to stop by sometime.” I stood up from the bench, in case my subtle hint for her to leave wasn’t enough.
“I’ll be waiting,” she purred, and then leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, pressing her chest flat against my side, at the same time Kennedy walked out the door. The somber look on her delicate face turned to shock, and then absolute disgust, as the McGuire’s girl strutted away.
Fuck me.
Chapter 6
Kennedy rolled her eyes and took off. I went after her, making it the second time ever that I chased after a girl. Luckily, this time she was just walking fast. I caught up to her easily, and grabbed her wrist, until she jerked it from my grip.
“What do you want?” she demanded, coming to a stop, and crossing her arms over her chest.
“I came to…I don’t know, put an end to this little thing we got going on.”
Her dark eyes narrowed. “By standing in front of me and kissing another girl? You sure as hell have a funny way of doing things.”
“I didn’t kiss her. She kissed me, and besides, it was just on the cheek. It’s not like I was fucking her on the bench.”
“You looked awful chummy together.”
“She’s a waitress at one of the bars I used to go to. She was just asking me where I’ve been since I haven’t been there in awhile.”
“Why not?”
I didn’t know her angle, or what she was trying to get at, so, instead of bullshitting her, I gave her the truth. “I was spending all my free time with you until we stopped talking.”
She bit her lip, and then swallowed. “You’re the one who walked away from me the other day.” Her mouth fell into a frown. “Again.”
“I know, but I figured something out since then.”
“Really? And what’s that?”
I stepped to her, pushing a blonde strand of hair behind her ear. She shivered at my touch, and I was happy I still affected her. “I’ve missed you.” I grabbed her chin, urging her to look at me, so she could see the God’s honest truth in my eyes. “So much.”
The corner of her lips tugged. “I missed you, too.”
“So, can we end whatever this is? And go back to the way things were?”
She shook her he
ad, and my heart damn near stopped. “No.” My hand fell from her face, and defeat consumed me. I went to step away, but, this time, she grabbed my wrist, placing my hand back on her cheek. “I don’t want things the way they were because then I couldn’t do this.” She leaned up on tiptoes, and pressed her plump, sexy as hell lips to mine.
I was so sick of resisting her, so I wrapped my hand around her tiny waist, and pulled her tight against me. I swiped my tongue along her crease, begging her to let me in. Her mouth parted, and I didn’t hesitate, sliding my tongue across the divide. She met me thrust for thrust as I knotted my fingers in her hair.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, but I ignored it, losing myself in Kennedy. Savoring every touch until I could barely control myself. I pulled my mouth from her lips, and rested my forehead against hers.
“If we don’t stop, I’ll be arrested for indecent exposure.”
“You do have a thing for public places,” she said, running her hand up my chest. “Though, I have to admit, I’m a little surprised you didn’t come with a peace offering like you usually do.”
“I figured, this time, I just needed myself.”
She smirked. “Becks, that’s all you ever need.”
It was the simplest of statements, but to me, someone who had searched for acceptance his whole life, it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me.
“My next class is cancelled. Just got the email.” She held up her phone. “Want to do something?”
I yanked her back to me until her hips pressed into mine. “I can think of something, or someone, I want to do,” I joked.
“At least we’re on the same page for once,” she purred against my ear, slipping her tongue out, and dragging it against the sensitive skin.
I ran my hand over her face, brushing her hair away. “As much as I want to find the nearest wall, and have my way with you, I want to do this right. I might not be able to give you everything you want, but I’m going to try. So, how about I treat you to a late breakfast, because I’m sure you haven’t eaten anything yet today.”
She bit her lip and smiled. “For someone who pushes me away so much, you know an awful lot about me.”