by Shandi Boyes
When Marvin’s head lifts to the door, he balks and takes a step backwards. The half-dressed blonde sprawled on his desk whimpers from his loss of contact.
I roll my eyes. Nothing on Marvin’s body deserves that type of response.
“Where are you going, sweetie?” she meows, her sickly sweet voice making her sound like a porn star in the middle of a film production.
Marvin’s eyes dart between the blonde and me, his panic growing with every second that ticks by.
“This isn’t what it looks like,” he stammers, fixating his eyes on me.
I raise my hand into the air, stopping any more of his pathetic excuses. Following Marvin’s fretful gaze, the blonde shifts her head to the side. Her eyes widen and her throat works hard to swallow when she notices me standing in the doorway, displaying she's aware of who I am and what my significance in Marvin’s life is. In my book, that makes her just as guilty as Marvin. She scampers off the desk, yanking her skin-tight pencil skirt down on the way. Her stiletto heels shuffle on the tiled floor as she darts to the door, stuttering an apology to me on the way by.
When the unnamed blonde exits Marvin’s office, I pace to his desk. I only came here for one reason, and the shock of discovering him cavorting with an unnamed blonde on his desk isn’t enough to dampen the violent anger pumping through my veins.
“You had no right to intervene in my son’s life. No right at all. Joel is not your son!” I yell, slamming the paternal forms he sent to Hugo onto his cherry oak desk.
Marvin paces around his desk, tucking his disheveled shirt into his undone trousers on the way. “I want him to be my son, Ava. I want to legally adopt him. For him to have my last name.”
“Why?” I fire back, skepticism in my voice. “Why would you want that? Joel knows the local dog walker better than you, and we don’t even own a dog!”
When Marvin lifts his hand to clutch my arms, I violently yank away from him.
“Don’t touch me,” I sneer. “I have no clue where your filthy hands have been.”
I take a step backward, widening the distance between us. “Why did you do it, Marvin? Why are you trying to create a rift between them? Joel wants Hugo in his life. He needs him in his life. He loves his father.”
“I can give him more, way more than Hugo ever could,” Marvin argues, his jaw quivering as his anger is unleashed.
“It isn’t about money or possessions. It is about love and understanding. Taking the time to give Joel the attention he needs—he deserves.”
“I give him time and attention. You’re acting like I don’t give him anything. Everything he has is because of me!” Marvin roars, his angry snarl bouncing around his office.
I laugh a witch-like cackle. “Everything my son has is because of me, not you. He doesn’t even know you.”
“Your reaction has nothing to do with me filing adoption papers, and everything to do with Hugo being back in town.”
I grit my teeth and shake my head. “This has nothing to do with Hugo. I might have gone along with your little game to keep you in your daddy’s good graces and myself employed, but Joel was never part of our agreement.”
“The instant you slipped that ring on your finger,” Marvin says, nudging his head to my engagement ring sparkling in the office lighting. “You not only became my property, so did Joel.”
Fury unlike anything I have ever felt before scorches my veins. I step closer to Marvin, so close my furiously heaving chest smacks into his. I stare him straight in the eyes, internally cursing the day I ever agreed to his stupid ploy. “Joel was never up for negotiation. He will never be your son. He has a dad. He doesn’t need another.”
I rip the diamond engagement ring off my finger and place it on top of the paperwork. “Our agreement is over.”
I dash out his office and race down the hall. My steps are urgent, not wanting to give Marvin the satisfaction of seeing my tears. Today will be the last time he will be the cause of my tears. Belinda’s eyes dart between Marvin leaning in the doorjamb of his office with lipstick smeared on his face and my quickly retreating frame. Her eyes bulge when she notices my finger is void of the engagement ring I was wearing when I entered. Her eyes question me. Did you really do it? Did you leave him? When I nod, she jumps from her desk, snags her coat off the coatrack, then briskly marches out of the office behind me.
When we reach the sidewalk outside, I glide my eyes to her. “What are you doing?” I ask, my eyes bouncing between hers. “I thought you said you couldn’t come with me?”
I begged Belinda for months to leave Gardner and Sons and come be my receptionist at the practice I'm endeavoring to get off the ground. She always said she would if she could, but she never agreed. I understood her hesitation. Who in their right mind would leave an established company for one that has more chance of collapsing than getting off the ground?
Belinda slings her arms around my shoulders. “Who needs a dental plan when you’ll be working for the best dentist in the country?”
Our panicked breaths is visible in the frigid air. “Are you sure this is what you want? You’ve worked at Gardner and Sons for years. There's no guarantee my practice will get off the ground, let alone be viable.”
She rolls her eyes and a lewd smirk curls on her lips. “Please, Ava, anything you set your mind to is viable.”
I stare into her glistening green eyes. Nothing but admiration reflects back at me.
“Can you start Monday at 9 AM?”
A squeal ripples from my lips when a loud tap sounds on the window of my car, startling me half to death. Clutching my chest, I peer outside. My brows stitch together tightly when I spot Mrs. Marshall standing next to the passenger side door, rattling the door latch. Her hair is covered with silver foils and she has a hairdressing towel wrapped around her shoulders. Grimacing, I lean over and unlock the door. A freezing breeze blasts into the car when she opens the door and slips inside. She doesn’t say anything, she just sits quietly in the seat next to me, staring straight ahead. It is only when I see the shadow of Mrs. Mable moving away from her front window does it dawn on me what has caused Mrs. Marshall’s sudden arrival.
I’ve been sitting in my car in the driveway of my home for the past twenty minutes, futilely trying to unjumble the mess of confusion in my head. I can’t comprehend what is happening to me. When I stumbled into Marvin’s office, all I felt was relief. I should have been angry at catching my fiancé in a midst of an affair. I should have stormed into the room and gouged the blonde’s eyes out before running my nails down her abhorrent face. I should have felt something, but I felt nothing. Not anger, not jealously. Nothing.
“I’m a terrible person,” I mutter to myself. “I broke off my engagement and I don’t even care.”
Mrs. Marshall adjusts her position to face me. She clutches my hand in hers and secures my attention with her dazzling green eyes. “Don’t feel guilty for what happened, Ava. Your heart has only ever belonged to one man. Marvin knew it wasn’t him. He used that knowledge to his advantage.”
I shake my head. “I can’t just blame Marvin for our pathetic attempt at a relationship. I'm just as bad as him. I knew I was never going to love him the way I loved Hugo, but instead of telling him that, I continued to lie. I dragged him down as much as he did me.”
I’ve wanted to leave Marvin for months, but I never did it. I was too scared about losing my security blanket. Although I’ve never allowed Marvin to financially support me, I liked the security that came with having a partner. As callous as this makes me sound, I wanted an emergency backup. For years, Marvin has been my safety net.
Mrs. Marshall screws up her nose and waves her hand in front of her face. “Please. You supported him for years – not the other way around. You stroked his gigantic ego and stood by his side while he accepted all the praise from the wonderful things you both achieved.”
When I shake my head, Mrs. Marshall squeezes my hand tighter. “Tell me one thing that man did solely for you, Ava, with
out expecting some type of reward for it?”
I peer into her empathy-filled eyes while racking my brain, trying to think of something. I'm truly stumped. The only time Marvin and I were ever seen together as a couple was at fundraising events or work functions. We never went on dinner dates alone; he never attended a Marshall family brunch until Hugo arrived back in the picture, and I had to beg him to accompany me to the Christmas Day celebration at the Marshall’s residence this year. The only reason he agreed to go is because I agreed to continue with the ploy of us being engaged.
Noticing I'm unable to answer her question, Mrs. Marshall cocks her brow. “Exactly. Now what has he given you?” She waves her head to Hugo zooming past the front window of my house with Joel in his arms.
Joel has his arms outstretched, like he's soaring through the air. I never thought I would have the opportunity to witness this, father and son standing side by side, playing airplanes. I dreamed it would happen, but I never thought my dreams would turn into reality.
“Joel,” I answer without a hesitation. “Hugo gave me Joel. The best thing that has ever happened to me.”
Mrs. Marshall smiles as she squeezes my hand.
“And this.” I press my palm against my madly beating heart. “He gave me his heart. It is the reason Marvin’s betrayal didn’t hurt, because it wasn’t my heart Marvin was deceiving, it was Hugo’s, but even being Hugo’s heart, Hugo’s betrayal still hurts. It hurts so much. I don’t know if I can get past this.”
Mrs. Marshall’s tear-glistening eyes lock with mine. “I'm not saying this because Hugo is my son. I'm saying this because you're my daughter, Ava, and I know you. I’ve watched you grow from a girl into the beautiful woman you are today.”
A tear escapes my right eye and rolls down my cheek, overwhelmed by the pride radiating in her words.
“If you don’t give Hugo the chance to fix the mistakes he made, you'll never forgive yourself. You’ve wanted this for years. Every wish you've ever made the past five years was for Hugo to come home. Your wish came true. Cherish it, Ava. We learned from Jorgie’s passing that we have to make the most of every day we have. No one is saying you have to forgive and forget, not at all, but harboring anger will only diminish your quality of life, not improve it. Live the best life you can, as you only get one.”
My face scrunches, battling to keep my tears at bay. Everything Mrs. Marshall said is true. Every time I blew out the candles on my birthday cake or saw a shooting star, I wished for Hugo to come home. I swore I wouldn’t care where he’d been or why he left, all I wanted was for him to come home and meet his son. To come back to me. My wish came true, but instead of relishing in having my greatest wish granted, I’m letting anger ruin a true miracle.
“Do you remember the promise you made to Joel the day you walked through those doors with him cradled in your arms for the first time?”
I wipe my hand under my nose before nodding.
“You kept your promise to Joel. Now it’s time to keep the promise you made to yourself.”
Nineteen
Hugo
“Mayday, mayday, we are experiencing catastrophic engine failure.” A big boom sounds from my mouth, startling Joel flying in my arms. “Mayday, mayday, our engines are on fire. We’re going down.”
I jolt Joel in my arms, replicating the shuddering of an engine. A grin carves on my mouth from the hearty chuckle bellowing from his lips.
“Prepare for crash landing, select emergency fuel.” My voice mimicks the helicopter pilot in the movie The Day After Tomorrow.
Joel squeals in excitement as we race through the living room, zooming around the couches and past the antique clock. He holds his arms out like a plane, making engine noises with his lips. When I round the rock-hard couch I slept on a week ago, our makeshift plane crashes to the ground. I roll and land on my back, ensuring Joel lands safely on my chest. Blood surges to my heart when he giggles loudly into my chest before wrapping his arms around my torso to snuggle in close.
“That was the best game ever!” he screams at the top of his lungs, his voice coming out in a flurry, overcome with excitement. “Can we do it again?”
I chuckle. “Yep, just give Dad a minute to recover, and we’ll get this bad boy back into the air.”
Joel nods against my chest before cuddling in deeper. Joel is as light as a feather, but my shoulder has been giving me grief the past week. I could ease the stabbing pain rocketing through my body by taking the pain relief tablets Dr. Jae prescribed, but with the box clearly warning that side effects may include dizziness, tiredness, and delayed response time, I refuse to take them. I don’t want to impede my response time, especially because Ava has entrusted me to take care of Joel alone.
I run my fingers through Joel’s hair as we catch our breath, preparing for round two in our game of airplanes. The tips of Joel’s curls are damp from our exhaustive playdate. We haven’t stopped mucking around since Ava left nearly an hour ago. I want to squeeze in every moment I can get. I can’t make up for the time I missed, but I can make the most of the time I have left.
Joel’s head pops off my chest when the creak of the front door opening sounds through the room. He inhales a quick breath before he pushes off my chest and dashes to the foyer. Ava’s beautiful laugh sounds through my ears when Joel wraps his arms around her thighs and squeezes her tightly, nearly knocking her over. Anyone would swear she has been gone for days, not an hour, from Joel’s reaction.
I scramble off the floor and pace toward them. My long strides slow when I notice a shimmering of wetness on Ava’s reddened cheeks. My eyes dart up to her face, assessing her in careful detail. She has red rims around her eyes and her lips are cracked, clearly displaying she has been crying. After running her fingers through Joel’s hair, fixing his messy curls, she lifts her glimmering eyes to mine.
“Are you okay?” I mouth, not wanting to alert Joel to her distress.
She smiles and nods. “I’m good.”
The crippling pain in my chest dampens when she playfully winks before crouching down to Joel’s level. After adjusting the collar on his shirt, she asks, “What do you think we should have for dinner?”
Joel’s lips pucker and a serious mask slips over his face. He takes his food selections very seriously. Just like his father.
“Because I was thinking we could have…. Pancakes,” Ava says, her tone falsely portraying apprehension, like she is concerned Joel may not like her suggestion.
Joel’s eyes bug out of his head as he jumps into the air. My insides are also bouncing around like a ho on crack, but thankfully, my outward appearance gives no indication of my excitement. I can still recall the horror of the last time Ava made pancakes in this house, so I can’t let my excitement get away from me.
“Pancakes! Yay!” Joel squeals in an ear-piercing scream.
Ava laughs. “Do you want to help me make them?”
Joel eagerly nods.
“Alright, go and wash your hands then.”
I laugh when Joel pivots on his heels and charges down the hall. I swear I’ve never seen the kid walk. My eyes shift from the hall to Ava when she stands from her crouched position.
“Do you have any plans tonight?”
I smile and shake my head, ignoring the mad beat of my heart.
“Did you want to stay and have some pancakes with us?”
My brow arches. Even if I missed the hidden innuendo laced in her simple question, I can’t overlook the glimmer in her eyes. Ava’s never been good at hiding her true intentions. She wears her heart on her sleeve, clear as day for all to see. I can also read her like an open book. To strangers it may seem as if she's asking me to stay for dinner, but her eyes are relaying much more than that.
She inhales a quick breath when I take a step closer to her, closing the space between us. Her eyes linger on my thrusting chest for several heart-clenching seconds before she tilts her neck back. When her eyes lock in on mine, the shift of air between us is so great, a current
of electricity surges through my body, sparking my heart with a renewed hope. Her eyes are exposing that I haven’t lost them yet. That I still have a chance. Not just with Joel, but her as well.
“I'd love to stay.” My voice is strangled by the flood of emotions hammering me. “But I should warn you. I have a slight obsession with sweet things. Once I taste them, I can’t stop.”
Her breath fans my lips when she expels a large gasp, proving she didn’t miss the innuendo in my reply. I stare into her eyes, wanting to ensure she understands I’m not just here for Joel. I want her too. We stand across from each other, staring, but not speaking. The connection between us is as strong as it’s ever been, if not stronger. Joel makes us stronger. I look at the woman I’ve loved from before she even became a woman, my eyes expressing the words my mouth is refusing to relinquish. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you.
When I run the back of my fingers down her feverish cheek, removing a tear tracking down it, she nuzzles into my hand. I want to kiss away every tear falling down her beautiful face. I want to fall to my knees and promise I’ll never be the cause of her tears again, but before I get the chance, Joel tugs on the hem of my shirt. I was so mesmerized staring into Ava’s beautiful eyes, I didn’t hear him approaching. He stands between Ava and me with his head rocketing side to side. A smile curves on my mouth when he screws up his nose and gags.
“Girls are gross,” he mumbles, glaring at me with reprimanding eyes.
Who is this kid? I had no clue about girls until I was well into middle school. He's only four and can already read the undeniable connection between Ava and me.
“I’ll show you gross,” Ava threatens, shifting her squinted eyes to Joel.
When she puckers her lips, making gaga kissy faces, Joel screams a window-shattering squeal before racing to the other side of the room. Ava’s on his tail before he even makes it halfway across the living room. She tackles him onto the ground and holds him down similar to how I normally pin her down. She smoothers his face in kisses, smooching noises and all. Joel screams in protest, but the smile etched on his adorable face is giving away his deceit. He's loving every single moment of his mom’s attention. And rightfully so, he should.