None of those are good and right now, this moment has to come from me.
I could lie, say that he’s a great man with a good heart when I don’t know this to be true.
I could lie, say I’ve never met the man. Tell her this is the first I’ve laid eyes on him.
I look back to him.
He has slight grey above his ears now, the rest a deep, dark brown. Almost black. His skin a little more weathered than I remember. Eyes a little more jaded.
I could tell the truth.
I keep my eyes on him. “I couldn’t care less about your decision. Lock him back up or let him roam free, makes no difference to me.”
Royce tries to touch the back of his hand to mine, in support or demand, I don’t care to know right now, so I yank away from him.
The judge clears his throat, but Rolland doesn’t turn back. He takes his time attempting to read me and when that fails, he finally looks to his sons at my sides, then the one to the left of him.
Suddenly it’s hard to breathe, and my chest starts rising and falling rapidly.
I have to get out of here.
I quickly and without warning, leap over the back of my chair. I know if I darted from my seat, Captain would block me. I shuffle down the row and one of them reaches out to grip for my elbow, but I jerk away, rushing for the door.
Maddoc’s call of my name and a slight commotion is heard behind me.
I don’t turn around.
“Raven!” I shout, shouldering the guard as he steps up and grabs a hold of me. Royce stays on her heels and my heart starts hammering in my chest.
Fuck.
“Chill, kid,” the guard hisses under his breath. “You’ll be out of here soon. Keep this up and you’ll go right back to that cell.
“I’m not your fucking kid.” I jerk away from him, grinding my damn teeth as I swing my glare to my dad.
I don’t even hear what’s being said my blood is pumping so fierce in my ears.
I’m not given the chance to look my father in the eyes again to gauge his thoughts before he’s done and being shuffled out the door.
The panel is next to walk out and then the guard finally backs away.
I hop the aisles and meet Cap in the center, a deep frown covering his face.
“You good, man?” I know he’s asking about my last few days, but no time for me right now.
“What the fuck just happened?”
His eyes narrow. “I have no idea.”
“I need you to sign your release papers, Mr. Brayshaw.” The guard changes his tune and motions for me to follow him.
I look back to Captain.
“I’ll be out front.”
I frown and look away, following the officer.
He’ll be outside he said, meaning like me, he’s not so sure she will be.
Finally, a half hour later, my paperwork is ready and I’m free to leave.
A black Denali is waiting right at the curb when I exit.
Cap climbs out.
“Where is she?”
“Took off down the road. Royce called Mac, chasing her ass all the way. Finally forced her to get into Mac’s car after they got a solid two miles down the road.”
I growl and move past him, sliding into the driver seat of his vehicle.
We’re both quiet on the ride home and not too long later we’re pulling into the property, rolling past the Bray houses to our home.
Our dad’s home.
Fuck. If he gets out, will he fight us on letting her stay?
Royce comes out the front the second we park.
He comes down the steps, gripping my hand and pulling it in, he pats my back before stepping away and looking me over.
“Get in any brawls in there?” he tries to joke in true Royce fashion, but the strain is easily caught.
“Nah, man. They kept me in a single cell all three days. No fucking contact with anyone, I’d have called, but they didn’t offer, so I figured it was all part of the plan.”
They nod, understanding.
“We had Mac smooth shit over at the school as much as possible,” Royce tells me. “They just think we were out on business.”
“Last time we disappeared from school for more than a couple days was when we went to find Zoey.” I look from Royce to Cap. “You good, man? Stressin’ out?”
“I’m not ready to think about that tonight,” Cap says firmly, letting us know not to bring it up again until he does.
I nod and all our eyes fall to the dirt.
“Dad is the reason I was held in there for three days, he had me held so he could get there when we were.”
“Did you know he’d be there before you saw him?” Royce asks.
“No, I was waiting in line to be led into the courtroom and all of a fucking sudden he was behind me telling me you guys where there. Even then I thought he was coming out, but then we were all thrown in that fucking hearing room.”
“Raven flipped her shit. Locked herself in her room as soon as we got here.” Royce sighs, looking to the house and my eyes follow. “Won’t come out. Can’t believe he put her on blast with that ... you know, the abuse and shit,” he says low, and my forehead creases.
I shake my head. “She has too much pride to allow anyone to see her as too weak to handle her own past. It’s something else.”
Royce scoffs. “Well, what I wanna know is how the hell we’re gonna get her ass out of the room to find out ... without pissing her off more by busting down the fuckin—”
The door is thrown open, and the screen flies to the side, slamming against the paneling and a pissed off, puffed up Raven steps out.
Hair down, face fresh and clear. Sweats and T-shirt.
Ready to breathe fire down our necks.
My baby.
Her forehead pinches slightly like she hears my inner whispers, but she stays strong. “Did you know?” she asks point blank, but there are deep creases at the edge of her eyes that have me thinking the question isn’t as standard as it sounds.
“Know what exactly?”
“Don’t fuck with me right now,” she snaps.
“I need you to break it down for me.”
Her jaw clenches and she glances away. “I need a ride home.”
“What the fuck?” Royce barks. “This is your fucking home!”
“My real home, Royce.”
I move closer to her, and her eyes slice to mine.
“I’m not playing. Take me or I’ll find a way. I’ll jump out the second-floor window if I have to.”
“Tell me why,” I demand, unease settling low in my stomach.
She shakes her head. “That’s not gonna happen, not right now, so it’s your call.”
“We had no damn clue he was doing all that today,” Royce shouts, moving toward her in a slight panic. “And if you’re mad he mentioned your past, well fuck, RaeRae, be mad at him, not us.”
Her forehead tightens, and she bounces her left leg. “Are we going to see my mom or not?”
My eyes narrow and she finally meets my stare and holds it.
Defiance flashes in her eyes.
“Fine. We’ll take you, but don’t pull anything stupid when we’re there,” I warn her, an edge to my tone I didn’t expect to use on her today.
Fuck man, I’ve been gone, not knowing if I was coming back to a Raven-less house again, and she’s acting like a stubborn fucking brat. Hiding what’s on her mind.
“Now?” she stresses.
I glance to Captain and Royce who both give curt nods, their features drawn up in an irritated confusion.
I look back to her and she nods, then disappears into the house.
Soon as we’re sure she’s out of earshot, I turn to my brothers.
“If we have to tie her ass up and drag her back here with us, we do it.”
They nod in agreement and it’s settled.
She will come back with us. Period.
I wasn’t even home for an hour last night before we were on the
road.
Being winter break for Brayshaw High, there’s no class for a few weeks, but we still have games to be played, so the quicker we get back, the fucking better.
“This is the exit,” Raven tells Captain and we pull off the highway.
We put the address we had on file into the GPS, but Raven said it wouldn’t get us to her side of town without taking us all the way around since there were no official roads to her mom’s place. Apparently, the trailers are just thrown down on a random lot at the edge of the city, so we let her navigate. At least, Cap pretended to. I’m sure he figured out and memorized the way before even sliding into the driver’s seat.
We take a left on a broken-down gravel road, turning into a dirt lot gated off by large sheets of mismatched tin, something you’d see on a cheap shed roof or surrounding a junkyard.
It’s night fall, but barefoot kids still play out in the cold, nobody bothering to tell them to get out of the way of our SUV as we roll toward them.
Captain slows at the sight, almost to a full stop, but I pat the back of his seat and he meets my eyes in the mirror.
His features tighten as does his grip on the wheel and I know he’s thinking about Zoey and where she could have ended up if we hadn’t learned of her existence just in time.
Come on, brother.
It takes a few seconds, then he lets out a deep breath and continues forward.
A little farther down, we spot a group of men sitting around a beat-up, parted out car. They jump to their feet as we edge closer, cigarettes hanging from most of their mouths. Their eyes fall to the blackout rims before lifting back to the tinted windows.
“I told you we should have gotten a cheap rental or borrowed someone else’s car.” Raven keeps her eyes on the group as we pass.
“Which one?” Cap asks her.
She looks ahead. “Last one on the right, up against the fence.”
My eyes follow her direction and brows dip low.
I never stopped to consider what the place Raven grew up in looked like, but even if I did, I’d have missed the mark. There’s no little porch with an overlaying awning like the trailers we’ve seen. No space in front of it with a table and chair set for when you need to step outside.
It’s nothing but a fucking rectangular box with tin foil in the windows and alayer of dirt so thick not even rain could wash it away. It’s basically an RV without the fucking engine.
The ‘fence’ she mentioned is not a fucking fence, but an old wire wrap tied loosely to a few rotted wood posts.
On the other side are train tracks with a few broken down carts laying at the edges of them. There’s laughter and lights coming from one of them – I’m guessing it’s used as a squat house for homeless or maybe where teenagers get fucked up. I can picture Raven going out there to smoke at night or just to get away. Maybe this is where her love for riding trains came from, her own fucked up playground she shared with dozens of others.
“Lights are on,” Royce notices first.
Raven sits forward, her face tightening as she drops back against the seat. She sighs. “It’s candles.”
Captain rolls closer, stopping right in front of it.
“She’s not alone,” Raven tells us, staring at the door.
“How do you know?”
“Because when she’s free for the taking, she leaves a pink boa tied to the door to let everyone know they can come play if they’d like.”
My stare slices to hers, but she’s not looking at me.
“And people just walk the fuck in, ready for her?”
Her tongue runs along her teeth as she glares at the piece of shit in front of us.
“And you’re the first thing they’d see?”
Finally, her eyes come to mine. “Thank hell for my knife, huh?” she snaps.
My frown deepens at her accusing tone.
“This is why you don’t fucking sleep, why you stare at the door all the time.” My eyes meet Royce’s for a quick second and his tighten. “Because people pop in at any hour and you never know when or what they’ll do.”
Her stare hardens and she forces her eyes forward.
Shit makes sense now.
The headphones she’s always wearing at night, that’s how she’d block out the noises. Her flashlight allowed her to see who would walk in, and her knife made her feel safe. Or fuck, safer than having nothing.
She couldn’t have always been this fucking tough, so at some point, she was nothing but a helpless little girl.
This is why she’s as hard as she is. She had no fucking choice but to be, there was no one else there to protect her.
She was on her fucking own...until us.
“What do we do?” Captain asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
“We wait,” she tells him. “She won’t spot us out here, not that she’d pause if she did, and she charges by the hour. It won’t be too long.”
I grind my teeth and force my eyes closed.
I can’t fucking let myself think about Raven in this place with a piece of shit like her.
“What are we doing here, RaeRae?” Royce turns around to look at her, a mix of worry and anger covering his face. “For real, the fuck’s this all about?”
She holds his eyes a moment before glancing away, but he keeps at her.
“We didn’t ask any questions, brought you like you wanted, avoided talking about the last few fucking weeks on the drive and now here we are, waiting outside your mom’s and we have no fucking clue what we’re getting into.” He watches her. “I’m not sure I’m up for any more fucking bombshells.”
No surprise when she gives him nothing and he glares my way.
None of us are okay with what’s happening right now, and we’re sure as fuck not used to doing things without knowing every detail included, but this is Raven and we’re trying to figure out why her brain works the way it does.
So, we’re bending a little.
A real fucking little.
Raven called it right, less than an hour goes by and a big burly fucker with a long, braided ponytail steps out.
He pauses at the sight of our SUV, but then quickly starts tucking his shirt in as he walks away.
Raven pauses a moment, then slips her hands between the seats.
I frown when she pulls out her knife.
She flips it open, turning it to inspect the sharpened blade, and I meet Cap’s eyes quickly, looking back when she snaps it closed. She squeezes it, her eyes stuck to the old metal before she slides it up her left sleeve, discreetly holding it there.
“Why do you feel the need to take that?”
“I take it everywhere,” she says flatly.
“Fine. Then why ready and waiting like it is instead of in your pocket or waistband like normal?”
Her eyes hit mine. “You think I’m unpredictable? She’s ten times me.”
“No. You are ten times anything she will ever fucking be.”
Her face contorts, a softness lining her eyes, but she washes it away just as quick as it slips. “She’s uncontrolled in a different way than I am.”
“You’re not convincing me to let you go in their alone.”
“You need to understand you’re not in control here.” She pushes open her door and steps out and I go to follow, but Royce’s hand shoots out, gripping me by the back of the collar.
With a growl, I yank free, spinning toward him with a glare.
“Give her a minute. Maybe this is about what Dad said, abuse or some shit and her mind is all fucked up.”
“Do you really think I give a fuck about that?” I shoot back.
“Maddoc,” he growls, spinning fully in his seat, anger flaring in his eyes. “She just fucking came back, man, and only because we went and got her. Your girl, your fucking call, brother, but damn. I don’t wanna lose her by pushing her. We all know how she gets when we do.”
“I’m with Royce,” Captain agrees.
I smack the back of the headrest and drop against the seat.
“Ten minutes,” I relent, slamming my eyes shut. “And not a second fucking longer.”
This is fucked.
Taking a deep breath, I pull open the broken screen door and step inside, letting it slam with a loud whack.
God, I don’t miss the smell of stale cigarettes and filthy musk.
A muffled laugh has my eyes jerking right to the sofa that only months ago acted as my bedroom.
I frown when I spot her lying there, legs still laying open, nothing but a stretched out tank top on.
Dirty bitch.
I know what the candles being lit means, but flick the switch to be shitty and draw attention to it.
“Clientele is low, I see.”
“Clientele is just fine, daughter, but there are more important things to pay for than electricity.” Her words are sluggish, and I step closer to look her over more. She lies there limp, eyes glossy and hardly open. “Besides, the candles set the mood, hm?”
I scoff.
“I saw someone yesterday,” I say slowly. “Only he had a different name than the one I knew him by.”
She tenses, slowly pushing up on her elbows. Her eyes shift between mine a moment and she laughs lightly, but there’s a blankness to it that puts me on edge.
“Oh my god. He was right.” A slow grin takes over her face. “You really are just a girl under all that rot.”
My brows pull in and she laughs more.
I keep my calm bravado going, but really my insides are turning.
“I’ve gotta hand it to the man, it was the perfect ploy on his end.” She sticks a cigarette in her mouth and lights it, sucking in a long drag. “He thought it would look great for his case to have you around, forming a little bond with his boys. With three to pick from, guess his odds were pretty good. He knew what he was doing when he made his offer.”
“What exactly are you saying?”
“Don’t play dumb, daughter.”
I move closer to her. “You used me to help a man who used to pay to fuck you, while I sat down the hall by the fucking way, who needed help getting out of prison?”
She laughs, but her eyes harden, and she blows smoke straight in my face.
Oh my god. “He paid you.”
She scoffs. “He pays me. Think I’d give up my welfare so easy? He’s been paying me for years, Raven. Little here and there. Paid off this trailer for me, too, ‘course he refused to sign it over to me. Smart on his part, I probably would have sold it and ditched you along the way if he did. But I knew the longer he sat, the more I could squeeze from him. Monthly checks like clockwork for the past thirteen years. Finally got the deal I wanted from him. If the state wasn’t gonna pay me no more, then he sure was.”
Trouble at Brayshaw High Page 12