“I suppose.” I bit my lip, aching for the little boy without his mother. My own childhood popped to mind. I would come home from school and Mom would be there with a bowl of hot soup or something she’d baked still warm from the oven. I’d tell her about my day, anything at all—funny, or stupid, or things that seemed hugely important to me at the time.
Jed brushed it off. “It was okay. Dad was great.” He didn’t look all that concerned, but then he’d had plenty of years to get used to it while I only had a moment. The backs of my eyes began to sting so I focused on the TV.
Brian Williams was looking dapper as usual, but I wasn’t following the drift of the news report. Something else had happened in Iraq, that’s all I knew. My mind was still sifting through the idea of Jed as a little boy with no one to talk to.
Fathers didn’t communicate the same as a mother. Dad was cool, but he related to the boys better than Shannon and me. I remember one day I came home in tears because kids called me a giraffe and said I was a long legged freak. Dad said I was growing like a tree, strong and straight, and to stand tall with my head held high. Then he’d gone into one of his little pep-talks about growing and changing and learning new things and he’d kind of lost me.
“So, I’ve met your sister,” Jed said. “Any other sweethearts in your family?”
“No, but I’ve got two brothers.”
I clicked the TV off and entertained Jed with some colorful stories. I told him about telling my family I was thinking of using a sperm donor or a gay lover so I could get pregnant. He’d sputtered with laughter, wanting to hear their reaction to this news flash.
When he finally stopped laughing his mouth looked relaxed and very kissable. His eyes traveled to my lips and lingered.
I moved further back into the couch to get away from him, resisting the temptation to get closer. “I was sick and tired of them badgering me all the time about getting married and having children, so I decided to tell them what they wanted to hear.”
“Have you ever thought about having a baby?”
“Nope. Well, I mean I’ve thought about it, and decided it’s not for me.”
“Why not?”
“Well, for one, I’m not married.”
He looked into my eyes. “So, what’s stopping you? Get married. Make them happy.”
“I don’t want to get married. I don’t believe in happily-ever-after. It’s a crock. If I decided to have a kid, I’d just want the guy’s sperm, and then he could get lost.”
I watched his face darken and noticed a muscle in his jaw do one of those twitchy things. He got up and started walking around. He looked upset, a reaction I hadn’t expected.
“Is that why you slept with me? Hoping to get pregnant?”
“Of course not!” I snapped.
He continued to dig a hole. “Are you having that weird female thing? Tick-tock. Times running out?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. And I didn’t sleep with you on purpose. It just happened and we did use condoms, right?”
“Right.” He thought for a moment. “One broke, though.”
Now it was my turn to jump off my seat. “What do you mean it broke? That can’t happen, can it?”
“It’s been known to happen.” He swore. “Yes, damn it, sometimes they break.”
“Are you telling me you bought faulty condoms, had sex with me, and now I may or may not be pregnant?”
“Aren’t you on any birth control?”
“No. I have no reason to be. I’m not sexually active.”
“Well, you certainly were the other night.”
“That’s despicable.” I looked for something to throw at him, found a TV Guide and smacked him with it. “What a terrible thing to say.”
“I’m sorry.” He chewed his lip. “I didn’t really mean that. It’s just the timing sucks. I guess we should figure a plan of action in case you are.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not pregnant.”
“I know. It’s hardly likely, but think worst case scenario.”
“I’d rather not, thank you.”
“Lydia.” He shuffled his feet and looked really, really concerned. “What would you do?”
I looked into his troubled face and felt a strange yearning deep inside my tummy. I didn’t know what it was or where it came from. But I knew it had no place being there. “I don’t know.”
“Whatever you decide is fine by me.” His eyes shifted away toward the door. “But I’m trying to get out of one marriage. I have no intention of getting into another.”
“You…arrogant prick!” My hair on my arms stood up on end. “I don’t want to marry you either, so don’t worry.” I closed my eyes and counted to three. “It can’t happen doing it once.”
“Sure it can. Sperm meets egg, and bingo.”
“Oh, get out of here.”
“I’m going, I’m going.” He walked to the door, stopped, and turned to face me. “But if, I’m just saying if, I want you to call me, okay? We’ll figure something out.”
I didn’t answer and he let himself out.
CHAPTER NINE
Later, when I was alone, I thought back to my college days and remembered that one of the girls in the dorm had become pregnant just this way. Using a condom was only about 90-95% percent safe. All things considered, I knew I was reasonably safe. But just the word Safe right now, didn’t sound safe.
I strolled out to the kitchen and looked at the clock. It was half past seven and I was starved. I needed a few things from the pharmacy and while I was out I’d pick something up for dinner. I thought I might have one of those Wendy salads, or pick up some Sushi at Albertson’s. Everything sounded good, especially when I was so darn hungry. Hungry? Why was I starving all of a sudden?
Grabbing my car keys off the counter, I picked up my wallet and headed out the door. Wendy’s could wait. The first thing was the pharmacy—go direct—do not stop—do not pass go.
My car skidded to a stop next to the open 24 hour Walgreen’s, which luckily was just down the road. Like a mad woman I dashed inside, scanning the counters until I came to aisle number three. I stood by the row of home pregnancy tests, breathing deeply, in and out, in and out. I picked up a couple to read the backs.
“What are you doing here?”
It was Jed. Blushing furiously, I tried to act casual as I slipped the boxes behind my back and turned to block his view of the counter. “The same thing as you I guess. Why are you here?”
“I grabbed a bite to eat at The News Café, remembered I needed some mouthwash and a few other things, and here I am. I thought I recognized your car out front. That was some parking job.”
He peered over my shoulder. “What’s that? You look like you’re hiding something.”
“What?” I tried to shove the two boxes back onto the counter and clumsily knocked over one in my haste. I was mortified at my childish behavior and for getting caught.
He didn’t need to see what I had in my hands. One glance at the products behind me was enough. “So you think you might be?”
“No.” I dragged out the word with heavy sarcasm. “I don’t think I might be. I’m just making damn sure I’m not.”
“Good.”
“Good.” I lifted my chin and put one of the boxes back, not meeting his eyes.
“Okay, then,” he said. “Let me know either way, will you?”
“Look Jed, I don’t mean to be rude, but I fail to see that this is any of your business.”
His jaw clenched. “Don’t go there. I’m telling you that if it were one of my renegade sperms that impregnated you, then I have a right to know.”
An elderly couple stopped and stared at the two of us, like we were a disgusting new species of bugs. The old man muttered something about the morals of young people today, before moving along.
Jed lowered his voice. “I’m sorry, Lydia, but this has me concerned too. I hope to hell you’re not, because it’s just too complicated to deal with right now.”
&
nbsp; “So do I. The last thing I want is to be pregnant, and most especially by you.” It was true. So why did I feel like I always do when I attempt to lie?
“Well, that’s a relief.” His eyes searched mine. “Isn’t it?”
I didn’t reply. I had nothing left to say to him, so I turned and walked to the check-out counter, paid for the EPT, and left. I felt numb. Everything was just so complicated; I didn’t know what I was feeling. I was fond of Jed. He was a decent guy, and I had enjoyed going to bed with him, but I most certainly didn’t want this.
The moment I got home I ripped open the box and went into the bathroom to perform the test. Holding the absorbent tip under the flow of urine, I held my breath and prayed fervently. I laid the strip flat and had to wait three minutes for the results.
My heart was ticking like a cheap clock. Three minutes was a ridiculous length of time to have to wait for something this important. It’s kind of like the eight-minute abs, somebody will come out with a three. Why not an instant reading, or ten second pregnancy test?
That gave me something to think about as I stared at the strip, willing it to hurry up. Thirty seconds had gone by. Lifting my eyes, I peered at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were anxious, and I had a worry frown carving a gash between my eyes. I tried to soothe it out but it stubbornly remained. I splashed some cool water on my face and dabbed it dry. That took up another thirty seconds or more. Less than two minutes to go.
I used my best night cream and smeared it all over my face and neck, massaging the offensive crease around the eyes. Thirty seconds. I looked at the strip. No change. Should I shave my legs? Did I have time?
I put some moisturizing lotion on one leg and swiped away with a fresh disposable shaver. Nicked my knee, but didn’t feel the sting. I lathered up the next leg, and repeated the procedure without the nick.
My heart had slowed down to a steady rhythm by now, but my stomach was doing cartwheels. My mouth was so dry it felt like I’d stuffed it with cotton balls.
I only had twenty seconds to go.
CHAPTER TEN
Three minutes were up. I glanced down. Was I right? Was it true? Did the digital print-out read negative? I read the box to be sure. Yes, it did. I took a shaky breath and grinned.
Not pregnant. Oh, thank you, God.
“I’m not pregnant!” I yelled, laughing foolishly. “Woo-hoo! I’m not pregnant!”
After doing a little happy dance I settled down to call Jed. “Good news. We’re in the clear.”
“Great! That’s wonderful. Are you all right with that?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, it would be perfectly natural for you to want a baby. So, I just thought maybe you might be a bit disappointed after all.”
“I don’t want a baby,” I snapped. “I told you that and I meant it.”
“Well, a lot of women get to a certain age and that clock starts ticking away. I thought maybe…”
“Well, mine isn’t. Rest assured.” I was positively relieved. I was overjoyed, jumping up and down nearly in my excitement. My stomach felt flat because there was no baby in it, not because I was let-down or deflated in any personal way.
“That’s good then,” Jed said carefully. “You’ll be going back to work any day, meeting people; the right man will come along.”
I gritted my teeth. “I’m not looking, remember? Men are untrustworthy. Hell, so are women. I just have no interest in getting involved. It’s too time consuming, and emotionally draining.” I couldn’t let it go. “Not everybody wants or needs to be married. A lot of people are perfectly content being single, staying active, and manage to live very successful lives, believe it or not.”
“Whoa, wait a minute. I have no problem with that. I happen to agree. I hope never to get seriously involved with anyone, ever again. Look at what my mother did to my Dad. She nearly destroyed him. Then my wife tricks me into marriage.”
“She did?”
“Yeah. She “somehow forgot to take her pills” and got pregnant after we’d been dating a few months. Then after the babies came along she lost interest in the bedroom. So, trust me, I can live very nicely without a woman. If I even think about marriage, shoot me, okay?”
I swallowed some kind of lump in the back of my throat, and said more firmly than necessary, “Yeah, I sure will. It’s a lot easier avoiding heartache than dealing with it.”
“You said it. Much easier. Once is enough in anybody’s lifetime. I don’t need to go through this shit again.”
“I completely understand. You’re a confirmed bachelor from now on. No more romantic entanglements for you. Just in and out—a quick roll with the lady of the hour.” I needled, “It might get a tad lonely, but you’ll be so much better off.”
“Exactly.”
“Ditto. I’m with you, Bud. So, how’s the negotiating coming along?”
The tone of his voice changed. He didn’t sound so cocksure of himself. “It’s not. We have a scheduled hearing in front of the judge. Maybe he’ll be able to make Alex see reason.”
“Who’s presiding?”
“Richard Van Dyke. Know of him?”
“Yes, of course. He’s a no nonsense judge. Usually favors the mother in custody battles, but he’s fair. He’ll listen to what you have to say, see that you have only your children’s best interests at heart. He’ll take all that into consideration.”
“And then what? Rule against me?”
I spoke with false confidence. “Don’t worry. The chance is next to none that he’ll let her take the kids out of state.”
“I hope you’re right.” His voice deepened with emotion. “She’s doing everything she can to distance us. The last time I was supposed to pick them up she wasn’t at home, said she forgot, and wouldn’t let me see them again until the following week.”
“That’s not right. She can’t do that.”
“Well, she did. What was I to do? Break the door down? God knows I felt like it.” He cursed. “If she wants a fight, she’ll damn well get one.”
* * *
The following morning I had to pick up some cream for my coffee from our on-site convenience store, and I took a detour past the marina through the gardens. Before I got to the shop I heard some shouting going on. I decided to investigate the trouble and saw Billy and his friend scuffling with an old man. One quick glance was all I needed to size up the situation.
Billy and his partner in crime had been busy spray painting a wall and obviously the old gent had a problem with that.
“Hey!” I shouted, marching up to them. “Back off, boys.” Thankfully, they did step away from the old man. I’m not sure what I would have done if they hadn’t. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“What does it look like?” Billy’s friend turned the spray gun on me. “Better get out of here if you don’t want to look the same as the wall.”
The old man looked to be about eighty. His thin hair was white and his skin was pale and withered. He was no match for the boys, but still he shook his fist at them. “Delinquents! I’m going to call the police!”
I moved between them, wanting to make sure the boys didn’t mess with him. “Put that down.” My tone of voice showed no fear. I was used to thugs and low-lifes. Come to think of it, I worked with some. I just hadn’t expected to see Candy’s son in that category. What was he, sixteen?
“Billy, c’mon. Just clean this up, okay?” I took a deep breath, not wanting to come down on them too hard. It was just a teenage prank—nothing serious. So why were my knees shaking, and why did I feel the need to protect an old man? I kept my voice steady, “If you don’t clean this mess up I’m going to have to report you to management, and you know I don’t want to do that.”
“Ah, the secret police will hunt me down,” Billy scoffed with false bravado. “So report me. Who cares?” He turned his back on me and spray painted the word, Bitch.
I was more than a little shocked. How was Candy dealing with her out-of-control son
?
“Show some respect,” the elderly man said in his wheezing voice.
“That’s okay,” I said, trying to remain calm. “Why don’t you go in and call the cops? I’ll be right there.”
“Kids. Hooligans!” He gave them both a disgusted look. “They’re probably on drugs or something.”
“Drugs, old man?” Billy’s friend sneered. “You selling?”
“Please,” I said, putting up my hands in my no nonsense courtroom manner. “Go about your business. I’m a friend of his mother’s. He’s really a good kid.”
The old fellow looked at me with his watery eyes and I could see he was torn about what to do. “If you’re sure?” At my nod, he said, “I’ll get help.”
Billy, who must have realized how deep of trouble his rebellion could get him in, spoke up. “We were just having some fun.” He turned to his buddy, “Come on. Let’s go.”
Relieved that he was backing down from this confrontation, I sighed in relief. “Thanks, Billy.” I kept my lawyer face on, self confident, non judgmental. A criminal’s best friend.
I waited until the older man left. “Come on, guys. Time to talk with the manager. Maybe if you offer to clean it up he won’t press vandalism charges.” I laid it on thick. “You might still have to pay a fine though, and you scared that poor man to death.”
“I ain’t talking to no manager.” Billy’s friend shouted. “He might call the cops.”
Great, Billy’s friend had a reason to be afraid of the law. “Look, I’m an attorney and I want you to come with me. Do you live here?”
He laughed in a derogatory way, and my guess was that he lived across town in a less expensive neighborhood. This was confirmed when he spat, “Yeah, right, like I wanna live in this dump.”
I narrowed my eyes. “This dump used to be a lot neater before you showed up to redecorate. C’mon Billy. You two made this mess, just offer to repaint the wall and be done with it.”
The Candy Bar Complete - 4 book box set: Candy Bar Series Page 8