“Uh huh.” There was a strange twinkle in her eye. “I’d tell you take care of my boy, but I know you always do.”
I felt a blush creep across my cheeks. She’d said something similar countless times before, so why this instance would register in a different way was beyond me.
No more dirty dancing on Saturday nights. Unless it was with some other hot boy.
3
Billie
We were sitting on a couple of bar stools at STUDS, having just arrived an hour before. The place was something else—with its sexy dancers atop elevated platforms and a rowdy vibe—so I appreciated finding a tucked away corner with a view of the entertainment. A few people seemed to know Dylan, including the bartender, who gave him a wink, so he probably came here without me plenty of times.
Dylan was already swaying his hips like somebody had plugged him in so I must’ve been lame company compared to when he visited his haunts by himself. But he never made me feel boring—in fact he always seemed just as excited about Saturday nights as I did. Or maybe he was just trying to get me to act my age and not like a twenty-two-year-old curmudgeon.
We had just finished watching a drag queen performance and it reminded me of that time a couple years back when I met Leo in New York City and watched Dean’s friend Tate perform at a bar called Ruby Redd’s. He had hooked us up with a backstage view, since we were still underage at the time, and it was amazing.
But it was also a shitty weekend because that was when I discovered that Leo was dating somebody new. We had no ties to each other except our history, but I was jealous and I guess I had hoped we’d be intimate during our meet up.
Regardless, we stayed with Tate and his boyfriend, Sebastian, and they showed us the city. It was incredible but also way crowded—I craved the openness of the preserve and the quiet of Roscoe. Leo and I had a good time, but there was some tension between us and we sort of had a fight. Really it was me grumbling at him and feeling needy. Damn, I was pathetic sometimes.
He’d never once invited me to visit him in Columbus and had admitted to dating several guys. I couldn’t be pissed though; I had dated around too. Just not seriously or for more than one night. Guess I was always reserving a spot for him, which was a far-fetched notion, I realized. I figured when he finally earned his bachelor’s degree and came home this summer before enrolling in his graduate program we could see if there was still something between us. One last shot.
If something had happened between us on our trip to the city, I’d only harp on it. Like I did with everything. I used to be way more easy-going and mischievous when I was still under my family’s thumb. Christ. At what point had I turned into my brother Callum?
But who the hell was I kidding? Long-distance relationships could be brutal. When Dean had stayed in North Carolina at the beginning of their relationship, Callum had moped around a hell of a lot, that was for sure.
Besides, after living the life of a college kid, would Leo still want to be with a childhood friend born in a hick town and raised on a hunting preserve? He wasn’t even certain if he was going to settle in Roscoe. But maybe he would if he wanted to be with me, like I wanted to be with him.
“C’mon,” Dylan said, buzzing with the same untapped energy that always mystified me. The dance floor became packed as the deejay spun some popular ’90s pop tunes. “I love this song.”
“In a few.” I wrenched my arm out of his. “I want to finish my drink.”
“Fine.” He arched his head. “By the way, the hot twink in the corner keeps checking you out.”
I took a quick sweeping glance. The guy was blond and cute. “Whatever. I don’t think I’m interested.”
Dylan shrugged as he mouthed the words to the old school Britney song. “You have needs, Billie. Everybody does. Your hand can’t always do the trick.”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course I do. I just…”
“You’re waiting on Leo,” he said like it wasn’t a conversation we hadn’t had a million times before. Was that a tad of disappointment I detected in his voice? “You’re trying to hold out until summer. Because he’s coming home and you’re hoping when you finally get to spend a good enough chunk of time together, he’ll see the light.”
Sometimes I wished he didn’t know me so well. “What’s wrong with that?” I squared my jaw.
“It’s not wrong, William,” he said in that parental voice that he knew grated on my nerves. “It’s admirable and completely adorable.”
I stared into his eyes waiting on the sarcasm, but this time none came. I didn’t buy it for a minute.
“Except,” he continued. “Outside of hoping you don’t get hurt…I think it’s okay to get your needs met. At least dance with somebody, have some fun. You used to be way more loose in high school.”
There it was, the unwarranted advice.
“I am having fun,” I bit out, and then proceeded to sip on my drink, so that I didn’t start an argument. I knew Dylan had a point, but I wanted to enjoy the evening in my own way. “Stop lecturing me. Besides, letting a stranger paw me is not what I want.”
“Then get your butt on the dance floor and paw all over me again.”
He went there. He brought up the other night when I had let myself go with him. I did touch him like I never had before while we were dancing. It was one of the best times I’d had in recent memory. Since then I’d put it out of my head and he seemed to as well.
“No way,” I said, shaking my head adamantly. “Besides, you’re my best friend.”
“That’s the point.”
“You’re saying let it all hang out with somebody I know and trust.” I had to raise my voice as the song changed over and people began shouting the lyrics. “Which would be you.”
“Exactly,” he replied, smiling over his shoulder at some guy at the edge of the dance floor.
So glad he could multi-task flirting with preaching to his friend.
Playfully nudging my elbow, he said, “You’re actually fun when you don’t think too hard about every damn thing.”
I felt a stab of regret for the naïve and laid-back kid I used to be.
“Whatever. I did enjoy myself that one night. There, I admit it,” I replied begrudgingly. “But I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
He rolled his eyes. “Dude, really? You’re talking to the guy who would dance with just about anyone if it meant I got to move these hips.”
His dance moves were incomparable. The way his body glided across the floor. Even though he didn’t bring it up much anymore, his dream was to be classically trained at a prestigious school. He had taken some local classes at the community college, but he’d dropped out when he couldn’t even pay his rent.
Besides, what future would he have with dance in this town? The one and only studio already had instructors who’d been there for years.
Shortly after I hired him, he’d talked about saving up his money and moving to a bigger city in Florida to pursue his dream. But I hadn’t heard him mention it in at least a year.
“You’ve got a point,” I quipped. “You don’t care whose hands are on you.”
Was that a flash of hurt I detected behind those narrowed eyes or I was imagining it?
He placed his hands on his hips in a challenge. “So then use your friend the slut to get your needs met.”
“What? No…I didn’t mean…”
“You’d rather know the person, so here I am. Just your regular fun guy, open to anything,” he said through gritted teeth. “You’ll know where to find me.”
Dylan turned and headed into the crowd and I felt like shit that we’d argued over something so frivolous. But knowing how carefree Dylan was, he wouldn’t even give it another thought or bring it up again.
The guy on the dance floor who’d smiled at him earlier stepped into his space and kissed him on the cheek. Dylan threw his arms around his shoulders and swayed his ass in a seductive manner. Maybe it was the alcohol I was imbibing in, but I found him sexy toni
ght.
He was also magnetic, always drawing the eye of men in the room, every place we went. Whether it was the thick and wavy hair he kept shaggy or his amber-colored eyes that were wild and kind at the same time. Maybe even that scruff on his chin or the way he smelled sort of spicy and woodsy mixed together. Well damn, apparently this wasn’t the first time I was noticing these things about my friend. I had already catalogued them in my brain. What in the hell was wrong with me?
Smiley dude stepped in close behind Dylan, hands on his hips, his groin plastered to his ass as they moved together in unison. I felt an all-too-familiar tightness in my throat, a cloying kind of anger that was choking me tonight, the same and yet different from every other time I observed Dylan getting it on with somebody. I didn’t like when he hooked up on our nights out—but I’d figured it was because he was like my safety net and when his attention was diverted I suddenly felt alone.
Besides, I always thought he gave too much away. He should save himself for somebody who deserved him. But those were my lofty ideals. I couldn’t make him see how special he was.
As Dylan reached back and ground into smiley dude, I felt my cock stir to life. Holy fuck, I really was as hard up as Dylan made it sound. I immediately diverted my gaze to the hot men dancing in tiny shorts on the platforms. Customers were below them feeding them dollar bills. Some of the guys were touching each other for the audience and damned if that wasn’t hot.
My eyes skated around the bar, looking at possible prospects, wondering if I shouldn’t take Dylan’s advice and find somebody to dance with, too. Besides, the last text I got from Leo, he was heading to some popular OSU club, so essentially he was doing the same thing.
I thrust the thought from my brain and focused on the cute blond in the corner who had been eyeing me earlier. Except now he was making out with some other dude who already had his hand down the back of his jeans.
I sighed as my gaze naturally drifted back over to Dylan. When our eyes met across the bar and he winked at me, my cheeks immediately caught fire. What the hell was wrong with me tonight? Why was I feeling so insanely horny right now?
Maybe because I hadn’t had sex in several months. At least not good sex. I was a bottom through and through but I wouldn’t allow myself to get beneath just anybody. No fucking way. Last time I tried the guy wasn’t exactly gentle. It didn’t help that I couldn’t relax the entire time.
It took a lot to let myself go and I hadn’t been able to in a good long while—probably not since Leo, which might’ve been the reason nobody else would do.
It wasn’t like he was waiting on me, though. Fucking hell. Apparently, it was turning into an uncharacteristically strange night. Before I could reason my way through, I stood up determined to head to the dance floor and find somebody to grind against.
Maybe even Dylan. What could it hurt?
4
Dylan
I could tell Billie was thinking hard as he finished his drink at the bar. His eyebrows always bunched together and he fished his lower lip between his teeth when he was working through something in his brain. When he finally made up his mind, he’d get this adorably determined look on his face—the same one he had now—as he headed my way.
I tried to keep my heart from bursting out of my chest and my lips in a neat straight line as his shoulders squared and his feet faltered momentarily. The guy I was dancing with had his hand possessively on my hip, but nothing really mattered except what Billie needed in that moment.
“What’s up?” I shouted as he got near.
“I’m tired of being me tonight,” he replied, and I saw the weariness in his eyes. The effort of always doing the right thing. Always managing his illness and being super responsible. “I just want to dance again.”
I desperately wanted to be the one who helped him let loose. “So let’s dance, Will.”
He stared pointedly at the guy gripping my waist. It was a sort of annoyed possessive look that made my stomach bottom out. I liked the idea of Billie being selfish about me. I placed my hand on Billie’s shoulder and jutted out my hip to shrug the guy off. “Later,” I said over my shoulder to him.
He moved on easily enough to somebody else and I turned my attention back to Billie. His hands tentatively grasped onto my hips, the same way they had a couple of weeks back, and as I started to sway them, he followed my lead.
Soon enough we were grooving and laughing and sweating our butts off but having a great time. We had moved into the throng of bodies as we strutted our stuff and he actually was a really decent dancer. He’d be even better if he’d only let go of the last strand of control. He was as taut as a tightrope and even though he was having a blast I could still feel the tension rolling off of him.
We were about the same height, except I probably had an inch on him, so when I turned toward the wall and he moved up against me, I noticed for the first time that he was hard as a fence post. Holy Christ. Billie was turned on from dancing with me. He must’ve been freaking the fuck out inside.
But I couldn’t help myself. It was as if my body was filling to the brim with desire and electric energy. I moved my hand around my back to his waist and pulled him more firmly against me so I could feel him, even if it was for a fleeting moment.
He gasped against my neck, which sent pinpricks shooting along the fine hairs on my arms and legs. When his hand left my hip to tentatively wind around my chest, my nipples felt oversensitive from his simple touch. Even the cotton material from my shirt felt too restricting.
I heard a restrained whimper from his throat as he sank his weight against me, my palm clenching against the wall as I anchored his mass. Billie wasn’t a big guy in the least, but when he let go like this, he felt extra heavy.
I spun around to face him and noticed how his green eyes were blown wide, his lips trembling, his brown hair sweaty, like he was just hanging on to his last measure of control.
If he were alone, he might’ve simply dug deep in his pants and jerked himself off. I had no idea why he’d be so turned on right now except that he rarely let himself rub off on anybody, so the close proximity must’ve done the trick.
And Christ, in that moment as we stared each other down, the music and the sweaty bodies cloaking us on all sides merely faded away. All I could zero in on was Billie’s mouth. His lips looked soft and shiny wet from his tongue as he panted openly.
As my fingers gripped his waist and I yanked him toward me, I wanted to kiss him so badly. But I knew that would be crossing the line for Billie into intimate territory. This was purely about carnal need.
Instead I buried my head in his neck and drew in his scent—it was one I’d already grown familiar with, but up close and personal was even headier. Like a mix of cinnamon and vanilla from Montgomery’s Sweets, I had the urge to lick him from head to heel.
I rested my lips against his throat and heard him groan as satisfaction lit all my nerve endings on fire. At least he wasn’t averse to being this close to me. My hands glided up and down his spine, memorizing every muscle, touching him while I still had the chance. Before he came to his senses and backed away from me.
When my fingers cupped his ass and I pulled him firmly against me, I could feel his cock aligned with mine, and holy fuck it was thick and hard as steel. Knowing that Billie hadn’t been with anybody in a long time, he must’ve been close to exploding point. And suddenly all I wanted was to make Billie feel good.
“Dylan, we shouldn’t—” Before he could finish his thought, I flipped us around so he was the one facing the wall. With my fingers, I nudged his hips to turn toward the dark corner of the dance floor. There were couples making out on both sides of us along the perimeter of the wall so we appeared to fit right in.
“Unzip your pants, Will,” I grunted against the nape of his neck, before running my nose along his hairline. A shiver quaked through his shoulders. “And tell me what you want.”
“What do you mean?” Billie was hoarsely panting, his eyes shut tight.
“Stop thinking so hard,” I grunted and grabbed his hand, pushing it down to the button of his pants. “Let me take care of you.”
“Dylan, I…I don’t need…”
“Yeah, you do. You fucking need it. Bad,” I growled against his neck and then sucked on his skin. He moaned and swayed. “You want to wait for Leo or do you want me to take care of you right now?”
When he began trembling, I was afraid bringing up Leo had been the wrong move, so I shifted course.
“You know I love cock,” I said as I arched my groin against him. “I can make you feel good.”
I figured if I just acted like my normal nonchalant self, he’d relax, and I was right. His fingers fumbled to his pants and unzipped them. Then his hands braced the wall as if in surrender and it fucking lit me up inside.
“Now tell me what you want me to do,” I whispered in his ear at the same time my fingers curved over the elastic of his boxer briefs. His head sank back and he groaned in response. I knew that Billie loved oral as much as he loved to bottom, but practically never allowed it. The main reason was that he had trouble letting go with somebody that he didn’t trust.
He constantly warred with himself about it, because the idea of being coddled reminded him too much of being a sick kid and not being in control of his own body.
I, on the other hand, was pretty versatile in the bedroom and I especially loved being on my knees and having a fat cock in my mouth. Not that I could do that here, but hopefully my hand would do the trick, since he was putting his faith in me at the moment.
As my fingers slid over the front of his boxers, I kissed his neck so it looked like we were just making out in a dark corner to unsuspecting patrons.
“Tell me, Will.”
“This is crazy—”
“Just tell me,” I rumbled.
He whimpered out his plea, finally letting go. “Please, touch me. I need someone to touch me.” I understood that sentiment completely.
The Sweetest Goodbye (Roadmap to Your Heart, Book 3.5) Page 2