Ash waved the men out the door. "Fix me up, Fanny, before Mrs. Gonzales brings Jake back. How bad is it?"
Fanny dithered. "Don't you know? You were on the receiving end of things. I have to go upstairs to get my first-aid box. I'll be right back. You should see a doctor, Ash."
"I've seen enough doctors to last me a lifetime. Hey, I'm the guy who has a pill for everything, remember? Hurry up. I don't want Jake seeing me like this."
Fanny was back in five minutes. She talked as she wiped and swabbed. "You can't hide this from Jake. Your left eye looks like an open peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Your jaw is swelling, and you look lopsided. Are your teeth loose? Ash, what happened. Did you provoke Simon?"
Ash tried for a smile. He didn't succeed. "Simon is not a happy person these days. I don't know if Simon was ever happy. He has demons. Maybe we should talk later on in the day, Fanny, when Jake is napping. I need a little time to rebound. Do you have any makeup you can plaster on the worst of my bruises? Ditch this shirt. It's all bloody."
"I don't think it will help, Ash. I'll get you an ice bag. You could have a concussion. Ash, who was that person?"
"Fanny, look at me. That person is someone you used to know. He's someone I've known all my life. I have an idea of how you must feel and I want you to know I'm truly sorry. I want to thank you for being the one constant in my life. Now, you would do me the biggest favor if you would take Jake for the day."
"Ash, truly? Are you sure it's all right? What about Sunny? How will you explain it to her?"
"I'll tell her the truth. I'm on a truth kick these days. You know what, Fanny, when you tell the truth it's okay, everyone deals with it and goes on from there. Only a fool denies the truth. If we're lucky, Simon will admit to his truths and go on from there. At least I hope so. Here comes the kid, so don't say anything."
Jake ran to Ash, skidding to a stop in front of his chair. "You look funny, Pop Pop."
"Boo!" Ash said. The little boy giggled. "Grandma Fanny is going to take you out today. Get your sweater and I want a promise from you."
"Whazat, whatzat?"
"Promise me you'll have a good time."
"Promise, promise, promise."
Jake's hand in hers, her face radiant, Fanny turned at the door. "Can I get you anything before we leave?"
"Have them send up some coffee and a bottle of brandy."
"How about some blueberry pancakes and sausage?"
"That too. Don't worry about me, Fanny. I'm okay."
"Keep the ice pack on, twenty minutes on, twenty minutes off."
"Yes, Mother," Ash drawled. It brought the required smile to Fanny's face.
When the door closed behind Fanny, Ash wheeled himself to the couch. He eased himself onto it gingerly. His body started to tremble as tears burned his eyes. "How come you never saw it, Mom? Why wasn't I good enough for you to love? If there was a way for me to help Simon, I would. I don't know how. I didn't put up a fight. I let him beat the hell out of me because I thought. .. hell, I don't know what I thought. I wish you had told me just once that you loved me. Maybe if you'd done that I wouldn't be in this position now, and neither would Simon.
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"Guess that's enough for now. We'll be seeing each other soon enough and when that day comes, I want some answers."
"What would you like to do, Jake?"
The little boy trotted alongside Fanny, his chubby legs pumping in his hurry to get outside the door. "Feed birds. Buy peanuts. Eat ice cream."
"I think we can do all those things. Do you know how to skip to My Lou?"
"Uh-huh. Watch me."
"Wonderful!" Together, grandmother and grandson skipped down the street with onlookers smiling their approval. / need to do this because I want to do it. I don't want to think about what transpired earlier. I want to enjoy every single minute that I can with this little boy.
It was three o'clock when Fanny led her weary grandchild back to Babylon. In one hand he held a red balloon and in the other a stuffed panda bear. His chin was streaked with chocolate ice cream, his hands sticky. He wore a happy smile as he tried valiantly to keep his eyes open.
"You're lookin' good, sport," Ash said, his swollen lips barely moving. "Are you ready for a nap?"
Jake nodded.
Fanny smiled. "I'll clean him up. We used up all my tissues with the first half of the ice-cream cone. I think I'd like some coffee, Ash. Would you mind calling Room Service?"
Fanny joined Ash just as the coffee arrived. "It's been a day, Ash. I probably would have gone out of my mind if you hadn't asked me to take Jake out. I wish ... oh, God, I wish so many things. I know it's difficult for you to talk and even painful, but you have to tell me what happened. I need to know. I need to understand. I thought I had a good marriage with a good man. At least for the first year. Was I blind, Ash? What was I supposed to see that I didn't see? I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. Talk to me, Ash, I need to make sense of all of this."
Ash talked. Fanny listened. Then both were silent for a long time.
"Wouldn't it be nice, Ash, if we could turn the clocks backward in time? I know the time I would pick. You go first."
"I think I must have been four or almost four. Simon was trailing me in the yard and I fell and skinned my knee. It started to bleed and I was yelling at the top of my lungs. Simon stumbled and got his suit dirty. Mom picked him up to take him into the house to change his clothes. She didn't even look at my knee. I sat there and cried like a baby. I kept saying, look at my leg, fix my leg. I guess I either whispered the words or was just thinking them to myself. I wish I'd screamed the words so she would have noticed me. I wish that. You know what, you play the hand you're dealt. That's the bottom line."
Fanny's eyes smarted. "I don't have a particular time in mind. What should I do, Ash?"
"Don't do anything, Fanny. Simon will file for divorce. You'll be served papers, and then you'll be a free agent. I'm really sorry. If there's one person in the world who should be married, it's you."
Fanny smiled. "That was the old Fanny. This new Fanny is someone who ... oh, never mind."
"Is your heart shattered? Are you wounded to your soul by all of this?" Ash queried.
"Strangely enough, no. I almost bolted that first month. I was one miserable human being. Like you, Ash, I had a lot of time to think. Twice divorced. That's not good."
"Sez who?"
"Sez me. Sunny will have a field day. How do you plan to explain your condition to her when you get back?"
"I hadn't thought that far ahead. I'll be leaving in the morning. Would you mind driving me up, Fanny? Bess or Neal can follow behind and bring you back. I'd chance it if it was just me, but Jake changes things. Wanna have dinner tonight?"
"Yes and yes. You should come up and see what I did with your place. You'll hate it."
"Okay, but I have to call downstairs to get someone to come
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up and sit here while Jake is asleep. You go ahead and I'll be up in a few minutes."
While she waited for Ash, Fanny washed her face and brushed her hair. She stared at herself in the minor. "I look like I'm seventy years old," she muttered to her reflection. She turned around so she wouldn't have to view her reflection and sat down on the edge of the tub. She thought about all the things Ash had said. She wasn't sure why, but she believed him implicitly. She couldn't help but wonder why her heart wasn't shattered, why she wasn't wounded to her soul. At what point had she fallen out of love with her husband? ''Maybe I'll never know," she muttered.
"You here?" Ash shouted.
"Coming. So. what do you think?"
"Jesus, Fanny, this place looks like a hunting cabin in the mountains. This is supposed to be glass and chrome, black and white. Modern ..."
"Shitful." Fanny giggled. "You know me. I'm a nester. I had to redo it because I smashed all your stuff. It felt great. Come on. I'll show you the rest of the place. By the way, don't let me forget to take Da
isy's kennel tomorrow. When you go back down you can take Daisy for Jake to play with if you want. She loves little kids."
"I suppose you got rid of all my black and white towels, huh?" Ash said opening the closet door. "For God's sake, Fanny, do you have some kind of shoe fetish? You never had this many shoes in your life."
Fanny leaned against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest. "You know that guy I told you about, the one who put me in the pool? Well, he sent them to me. He's got good taste in shoes. I can tell you that. He sends me a dozen yellow roses every single day."
"No shit!"
Fanny started to laugh and couldn't stop. "You should
see yourself, Ash. I know you want to raise your eyebrows but..."
"Don't make me laugh, Fanny, it hurts too bad."
Fanny slid to the floor, still laughing. "I think he has the hots for me," she managed to gasp.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. He came here on Thanksgiving, and I was drunk as a skunk. He's the one who finally cooked dinner for the kids when they showed up. He even did the dishes."
"Snatch that sucker right up, Fanny."
"Nan. You know what I think my problem is, Ash? I think I'm a one-man woman."
"Don't say that to me, Fanny."
"Okay. Forget I said it."
"You know what I mean."
"Yeah, I know, Ash."
"You know what I want to do, Fanny? I want to sit in one of those red chairs. By the way, where is Daisy?"
"At the groomers getting gussied up for Jake. She's getting her nails cut and her coat trimmed. She loves the blow dryer."
"I'd love it too if somebody blew warm air all over my body."
"Really," Fanny drawled.
"Yeah, really."
"I'm fresh out of warm air." Fanny giggled.
"Now how did I know you were going to say that?"
"That doesn't mean I won't have some later ... say maybe around midnight when I take my break."
"Wait a minute here. Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"What do you think I'm saying?"
"That you and me ... me and you . .. like . . . you know ... when we had our good times?"
"Uh-huh."
"What are the conditions?" Ash asked, his tongue thick in his mouth.
"No conditions. No strings."
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"I'd be a fool to turn that down."
"I'd say so."
"You sound pretty sure of yourself," Ash said. Fanny loved the uncomfortable look on his face. "Is this going to be a performance kind of thing?"
' 'Whatever you want it to be. I think, Ash, I can sizzle the socks right off your feet. You think about that, okay? You have to put a towel over your head though; otherwise, I'll laugh and it won't be good."
"Jesus, Fanny, what kind of talk is that?"
Fanny giggled. "Do you remember how you used to want me to talk dirty to you? Well, guess what, I learned a whole new language."
"Goddamn it, Fanny," Ash blustered.
"Your face is red, Ash. I think Daisy's home."
"Thank God," Ash muttered. He needed time to think about this conversation.
Fanny laughed as she sashayed her way to the front door, her buttocks jiggling.
Daisy raced into the room and leaped onto Ash's lap, licking his face and neck and woofing softly.
"You can take her down with you if you want. You won't let Jake squeeze her or anything like that, will you?"
"He's go©d with animals. He's a gentle little boy, Fanny."
"Okay. Call me when you want me to pick her up. What time do you want to have dinner?"
"How does eight sound?"
"It sounds good."
"The place looks homey, Fanny. You're comfortable here, aren't you?"
"Yes and no. I miss the yard and the flowers. When that happens I go down to the hanging gardens and walk around. It's okay for now."
"And later?"
' 'We'll deal with later when later comes. We can have dinner here in the penthouse if you're uncomfortable with people seeing you. Or we could do the private dining room. You decide
and let me know when I pick Daisy up. Ash Thornton, you're afraid of me, aren't you?"
"Where'd you get a cockamamie idea like that?" Ash said, his face reddening again.
"I just have to look at you to know." A devil perched itself on Fanny's shoulder. "I'll go easy on you."
"That'll be the day," Ash snorted, his neck as red as his face.
"Uh-huh," Fanny grinned.
The intercom in the foyer buzzed. Fanny raced from the bathroom, spritzing perfume as she went along. "Yes?"
"Mrs. Thornton, we have a delivery for you."
"Send it up, Martin."
Fanny's jaw dropped minutes later when a parade of young men carrying poinsettias marched into the room. "Good lord, how many are there?" she gasped.
"One hundred. They were sent in their own delivery truck from San Diego. They have a large poinsettia farm there," one of the young men said.
"Is there a card or message?"
"Not that I know of, Mrs. Thornton. I signed for them. It sure looks like Christmas."
"Yes, it does. Who in the world is going to water them?"
"Call down to the florist. I'm sure they'll be glad to oblige."
"Hey, anybody home?" Bess called out from the doorway. "Oohhh, are they from you know who? I like his style. I love multiples of anything. John's romantic leanings are one rose, one donut, one of whatever. Although, sometimes less is more if you know what I mean. I heard some stories on the floor. Want to talk about it?"
"I'm so sorry, Fanny. Are you okay with all of this?" Bess asked when Fanny wound down. "You look kind of peculiar."
"That's because I propositioned my ex-husband. For the first time in his life he was flabbergasted. I can't believe I did
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it. I don't even know why I did it. It seemed like the thing to do at the moment."
"The question is, are you going to follow through?"
"What would you do if you were in my place?"
"Oh, sweetie, I'd go for it. All the way. This is a whole new ball game, and the playing field is yours. It is what it is. '
"I'm actually tingling at the thought. Just at the thought. T must be out of my mind. Stop and think about it, Bess. I'm divorced from Ash, I married his brother who turns out to be some ... someone I didn't know . .. and I'm just walking away from that person and hitting on my ex. What does that make me?"
"Horny?"
"It's been a while." Fanny grinned.
' 'Probably longer for Ash." Bess's face was so blank, Fanny poked her on the arm. She burst into laughter.
"He's worried. He used the word performance. I don't think he ever used that word in his entire life, much less thought about it. He's thinking about it now though."
"Marcus Reed?"
"A friend. For now."
"Later?"
* 'I try not to think about later. I've been hearing that question too much of late. Sallie told me once that later never comes." Fanny paused. "Do you believe that, Bess?"
"Yes. When later comes it's the here and now. You never really get to later if you know what I mean."
"I want to feel something where Simon is concerned. A sense of loss. Grief, something. I shouldn't be feeling anger and relief."
"Why not?" Bess asked. "They're both honest emotions. You always say it is what it is. One day at a time."
"I loved him, Bess. I never saw what Ash saw. There were little things at times that didn't compute, but I negated them. Then there were bigger things I pretended not to see. It was easier that way. It all died in me when he refused to understand my feelings where Sunny and Jake were concerned, but even
then I didn't see what I'd been blind to. Listen, let's talk about something else. Can you follow me in your car to Sunrise tomorrow? Ash is nervous about driving with Jake after ... the beating Simon gave him."
&
nbsp; "Sunny?"
Fanny shook her head. "I won't even go in. We'll just drop them off and turn around and come back. She'll understand my presence on the mountain when she sees her father."
"Maybe the holidays ..."
Fanny shook her head. "No one has heard from Birch. I'm hoping he comes home or calls. I keep getting this sick feeling in my stomach when I think about my children. I want so badly for things to go right for them, but I realize I can't live their lives for them. We learn from our mistakes. Strange coming from me, eh?"
Bess hugged her friend. "C'mon, it's time to go downstairs and do what you do best, charm the customers."
"That's what Sallie used to do."
"You aren't Sallie. You don't sing. You socialize. Remember that lady from Edison, New Jersey? I rest my case."
"Ash, is it my imagination or are you just picking at your food? You love prime rib, and this is done to perfection. The baked potato has everything you like, cheese, butter, sour cream, chives, bacon bits."
"It's hard to chew, Fanny. It's even harder to open my mouth to get the food in."
"Ash, I'm sorry. I didn't think. Would you like some coffee or a milkshake?"
"No thanks. Fanny ..."
"You're having second thoughts about. .. later?" It was a question more than a statement.
"If you were in my place, wouldn't you?"
"I don't think so. Are you trying to let me down easy?"
"Of course not. Why would you say something like that, Fanny?"
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"You seem so jittery. It has been a long time for us."
"I have a good memory."
"So do I, Ash. Let's do this. Have Mrs. Gonzales baby-sit in your suite. I'll leave the door of the penthouse open. Go up and wait for me. We can have a drink and talk or we can ... do other things. And, Ash, take the word performance out of your vocabulary. Think in terms of an old shoe and an old sock."
"Jesus, Fanny, that's not very romantic."
Fanny laughed. "Here sits a man who has been called a legend in his own time, a man whose sexual prowess is legendary. And then there's me, the ex-wife who never quite had it all together where you were concerned, intimidating you. Gotta go, Ash, duty calls. If you change your mind, leave a note on my door."
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