' 'It will never fade, Chue. My whole life is tied to this family, to Sallie and her sons. How can that fade?"
"You must make a new life. Somewhere else. A life free of the Thornton name."
"I'm not free to marry."
"Then you will live in sin," Chue said smartly. "Many people do this today."
"My family is here. The casino is here. Who will take care of things? I can't walk away from my family and my responsibilities. I did that once, and it proved to be a disaster."
"It is a heavy burden. I know you will make the proper decisions when the time is right. I brought a letter for you to read from your son."
"From Birch?"
"He writes to me quite often."
"He does! I never knew that, Chue. I don't think I should read your mail. What does he write about?"
"Everything and nothing. They are long letters. I have many should you want to read them."
"We only get postcards. I think it's wonderful, Chue, that Birch chose you to correspond with. Did you tell him of Ash's condition?"
"Yes. He will be home soon. You did not write, Miss Fanny?"
"I did, but Ash didn't want me to tell him how severe his condition is. He didn't want Birch to feel he had to come home because he's dying. I guess he's remembering when Sallie died and how . . . things were at that time."
"Time heals all wounds, Miss Fanny."
Fanny's voice was sad when she said, "Chue, time is not a magical elixir. All it does is dull the pain. Ash's pain has never gone away, and he's going to die taking it with him. Simon is living with his own demons every minute of the day. It started down below in that town and then carried up here to the mountain. It's as though my hands are tied. I can't change anything."
"Come, Miss Fanny, I hear cars on the road."
Fanny wiped at her eyes. "You've been a wonderful friend all these years, Chue. Your family has been more than kind to all us Thorntons."
"You are my family as much as my own flesh and blood."
"That's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me, Chue."
"You are nothing like Miss Sallie, Miss Fanny."
' 'Thank you for saying that too. Chue ... do you think Sallie heard me? I wanted a sign. I wanted the earth to tremble, the skies to open. I wanted something."
"Something like that," Chue said pointing to the small cemetery where a dark cloud hovered overhead. "From here you can see that it is a gentle rain. Perhaps it is a cleansing rain."
Fanny ran to the cemetery. The huge cotton wood seemed to be bowing, its branches dripping with rain. Chue was right. It was a gentle rain washing her tears from Sallie's stone. She raised her eyes. "It's a start, Sallie, but you aren't off the
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hook." She was muttering. Something she rarely did. People in white coats locked you up when you talked to yourself or to clouds, the trees, and tombstones.
"Look, Miss Fanny."
Fanny turned to look in the direction Chue was pointing. The dark cloud overhead surged forward and scudded across the yard until it was over the house. She watched the rain pelt downward in a brief downpour. Fanny ran back to the house to stand on the patio. "You're christening it, aren't you?" she shouted. "It's not enough, Sallie! You need to make it right before Ash gets there."
Chue hugged his arms to his chest, his oblique eyes full of shock.
Thunder boomed overhead as a jagged streak of lightning ripped across the sky.
"You need to make it right! It's time. If you don't, I'll do it for you. You won't like that, Sallie. I want to know that you understand what I'm saying."
The rain came down harder, plastering Fanny's clothes to her body. She stared upward, the rain pelting her face. Lightning struck one of the beams from the old house that were piled high in the middle of the backyard. Fanny watched as the old wood smoked and sizzled. Her shoulders slumped. A good sign or a bad sign? Using every ounce of willpower she possessed, Fanny straightened her shoulders. Chue was looking at her as though she'd lost her mind. Maybe she had for a few minutes. What sane person talked to spirits and expected them to make things right in the earthly world?
"This person, that's who," Fanny shouted.
"The rain is over. The cloud is moving on. Very strange," the old Chinese murmured.
"Not at all, Chue." Fanny sloshed ahead of him as she made her way to the front of the house to greet Billie and Bess.
"We get rain squalls like that in Texas all the time. We even get them in Vermont," Billie said.
"That wasn't a squall. That was Sallie. We were having a .. . little discussion."
"I used to have some very intense conversations with Seth. Once or twice he made the earth move when I let him see my strength. I believe in stuff like that. So, Fanny, who won?" Billie asked, her voice upbeat.
"I think I did. I can't be sure."
"I always felt like that, too. We have the edge though. We're alive!
"You're both crazy," Bess said, her eyes going from one to the other.
"Maybe," Billie said.
"There are worse things in life," Fanny said.
"Whatever. Here comes the furniture truck. We have all the curtains, linens, and dishes and stuff in the van that Ash was gracious enough to let us use. I say we get cracking and get this all done today so you can bring Ash up tomorrow. He told me he can't wait to get here. It worked out perfectly, Jake is finished with preschool and he has the summer off. Somebody up there is watching over you guys and it ain't Sallie Thornton."
"Let's not get into that,'' Fanny said. "Was Thad upset that you came, Billie?"
"Not for a minute. Thad understands everything about me. He knows how important family is to all of us. He's so busy right now. He encourages me to do tilings on my own, separate from him and separate from us. Thad is one of a kind. I love him so much sometimes my teeth hurt. I clench my teeth and say, I love him, I love him, I love him. The first thing he always says is, what can I do? That's the kind of person Thad is."
"Whoever would have thought you would marry your husband's best friend. On the flip side of that coin, who would have thought I'd marry my ex-husband's brother? Maybe Bess is right, and we really are crazy."
"I was teasing, Fanny," Bess said.
"I'm going to iron the curtains, Billie is going to nail in the hooks and you, Bess, are going to hang the curtains. Did you bring an ironing board?"
"Yes. This is not a Mickey Mouse operation, Fanny Thornton."
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"We need to switch up here. I see the furniture men need me, so someone else has to iron."
Billie and Bess grumbled good-naturedly as they moved off to the kitchen.
When the grandfather clock in the foyer chimed five times, Fanny dusted her hands dramatically. "Done!"
"It looks the same.'* Billie said, her voice full of awe.
"If you didn't know it wasn't the old house, you would think this place had been here forever. Ash will be so happy. Jake's room came out perfectly."
"It used to be Simon's room," Fanny said.
"Not anymore. There's not one iota of anything that says that was his room," Billie said.
"Do you want to see the schoolroom?"
"What happened to that iron monstrosity that took up a whole room?" Bess asked.
"I had the construction people push it over the mountain. They had to use cranes and bulldozers and all kinds of heavy equipment. We couldn't build the house around it, they couldn't get it down the road, so there was nothing else we could do. It's in a deep ravine. In two hundred years it might rust away to nothing. It's my mountain, so I guess it's okay."
"Ladies, your supper," Chue called from downstairs.
"Let's take our first ride in the elevator." Billie said.
"It works," the three women said in unison as they stepped from the elevator.
1 'Won ton soup, fried rice, spare ribs, chow mein. egg rolls, and fortune cookies." Chue unpacked the heavy picnic basket. "No cartons. We use bowls. My wife
say you wash, give back. My sons and I will have those old beams carried away by dark, Miss Fanny. There will be no sign of the fire at all. Mr. Ash will be most happy. The pond is stocked for Jake. You will tell him. please, that the fish are waiting for him.""
"Thank you, Chue. I'll tell them. We should get here by ten tomorrow morning. Please come up and see Ash."
"I will do that, Miss Fanny. Good night, ladies."
It was seven o'clock when the women climbed into their cars for the ride down the mountain.
The following morning, Fanny drove Billie to the airport. "Fanny . .."
"Shhh, I know what you're going to say. He's got a month, if he's lucky. He's dealing with it. I'm dealing with it. I'll call you, Billie. Go home to your husband and give him a big hug and kiss for me."
"I will, Fanny. If you need me ... you know ... sooner, call. Day or night. Thad can fly me here, so I don't have to mess around with reservations. I want your promise, Fanny."
"You have it."
"Do you really think you won that round up there, when you squared off with Sallie?"
"Yes, I do."
"Good for you. Love you, Fanny."
"Love you too, Billie."
"Are you comfortable, Ash?"
"Fanny, stop fussing. I'm okay. It's not a long ride. I didn't see my black canvas bag. Did you put it in the van?"
"Yes. Ash, you asked me that three times." Fanny slowed the van and pulled to the side of the road. She climbed in back, rummaging between the luggage. "Here it is, do you want to hold it? Do you have your life savings in here or what?'' She handed the bag to Ash before she climbed behind the wheel.
"Ash, speaking of savings, we need to make a decision about all the stuff that was in your mother's safe. What do you want me to do with it?"
"Fanny, I don't give a good rat's ass what you do with it. Mom left it to you."
"It belongs to you and your brother."
"I don't want it. I sure as hell hope you aren't planning on giving it to him. You need to think ahead. Simon has no children, so unless he has some kind of airtight will, it will come
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back to our kids. He's got more money than he can spend in three lifetimes. Just keep it."
"I don't want it, Ash. I'm not feeling very kindly toward your mother's memory these days."
"You said there's a waiting list at the rehab center. Use it to add on or build another one."
"You wouldn't mind?"
"Hell no. Sunny's doing great. We went out to see her yesterday. I wanted to say good-bye. I think she's happier than I've ever seen her. We talked about the adoption. She cried, but she knows it's best. Sage and Iris will make sure the kids know she's their mother. It's going to work out, Fanny."
"I'm so glad you planted that first seed, Ash."
"You know, huh?"
"Of course I know."
"Then you know I don't want her to see me again until... it's over."
"Shut up, Ash, I don't want to talk about that. "
"We have to talk about it."
' 'No, we don't. I'm here to take care of you. We aren't going to ... dwell ... talk about things. We'll pack each day with wonderful things."
"You know, Fanny, you're wonderful. You truly are. What wonderful things are you talking about? Once I start on those pills, it will be all I can do not to jump out of my skin. I'm going to turn mean and nasty because the pain will be unbearable. You'll wish you never signed on for this gig."
"I'm prepared, Ash."
"I think you are. I'm not. Therein lies the difference."
"I want you to remember one thing, Ash. God will never give you more than you can handle."
"Words are so easy to say, aren't they? They just roll off a person's lips and people react to those words. Stop the car for a minute, Fanny. Do you see that blue sky, those snowball clouds, those fragrant pine trees? I'm never going to see them again. I'm never going to ride up and down this mountain again. I'm not going to be able to take Jake fishing. All the
things you do every single day of your life and take for granted will be gone for me. I won't be here. My heart will cease to beat. This chair will sit empty in the garage. I won't be able to count the stars with Jake. Most of all, Fanny, I won't be able to spit and snarl at you. I want so damn much to be able to leave this earth a man, so that when you think of me you'll have kind thoughts. I'm sorry for everything. At this point in time I know it probably doesn't mean anything. What it means to me is I finally got the guts to say it out loud. If it wasn't for you, Fanny, I'd probably be in a ditch somewhere. I owe everything to you. I didn't know that for a long time. It's eating at my soul, Fanny. I want to be what you want me to be, and I don't know how. I don't know how, Fanny."
Fanny climbed from her seat and dropped to her knees. She wrapped her arms around Ash. "Let's both cry now and get it over with. I just want you to be who you are. I don't care how you spit and snarl. I'll spit and snarl back. When the pain is bad, Ash, I'll give you enough pills to ease it. I know you have a stockpile. You will always be in my thoughts no matter where you are. You were right, there's a bond between us that can never be severed. I don't want you to worry about being a man now at this particular time. You came through when no one else cared enough or .. . You know what I'm saying. None of us will let Jake forget you. You'll always be a part of his life. I promise you that, Ash. Will you trust me with these last days of your life?"
They cried together, their arms entwined, their bodies shaking with their grief for each other. It was Ash who finally said, "Enough already. Let's get this show on the road. Jake will be up in a couple of hours. I want to get settled in. We're going fishing. Want to come along, Fanny?"
"I'd love to go. Should I pack up a picnic lunch?" "Potato chips, Popsicles, gumdrops, and mallow cups." "Ash Thornton! Is that what you give him for a snack?" "Nan, that's the bait. Chue gives us homemade egg rolls and fortune cookies. You don't know the first thing about fishing, Fanny. Gumdrops are great bait when there's any left."
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Fanny laughed.
"God Almighty! You really did do it, Fanny," Ash said thirty minutes later when she steered the van up the driveway. "It's perfect! It looks like it's been sitting here for hundreds of years. Too bad Simon can't see this. He'd piss his jockies."
"Wait till you see the inside. The furniture's the same, it's just not battered and worn. The elevator is a little bigger. The refrigerator is one of those super duper jobs that makes ice cubes. I got us one of those big screen television sets and the satellite dish brings in more channels than before. We get wonderful reception now. I had the men toss that ugly monster safe over the mountain."
"No shit! Bet that was a feat in itself. It's amazing. You'd never know there was a fire. You kept your promise, Fanny. I knew you would."
"How did you know, Ash?"
"Fanny Thornton always keeps her word. Is thanks sufficient?"
"It's sufficient. WTiat do you want to see first?"
' "Three green pills. Not one, not two. three. A shot of brandy to wash it down."
"Coming right up."
It took a full twenty minutes for the tightness to leave Ash's face Fanny used the time to brew a pot of coffee and to carry the bags from the van inside. Ash still had the black canvas bag on his lap.
"Let's do the tour, Fanny."
"Yes, sir," Fanny said, saluting smartly. "Let me load the bags in the elevator first. I'll unpack your stuff as you make the rounds on the second floor."
She found him in the schoolroom, his eyes wet his shoulders slumped. "I feel like this is where it all started. I actually feel it. Fanny. I wish I had the words to tell you how much I loved my mother and how I missed her when she died. My father, too. I didn't know how to handle it then, and I don't know how to handle it now."
"Let your emotions go, Ash. Say whatever you want. If
there are no words, don't worry about it. If you want to cry, cry. Whatever you want to do
is all right."
"I have a list. I keep it in my pocket at all times. A pencil, too. I'm taking it with me when I go."
"A list is good," Fanny said. "I'm going to get your room ready and hang up your clothes. You have time for a nap before Jake gets here if you want."
"I don't want to waste the pills. I'm feeling halfway decent now. I'll just sit here for a while."
Fanny busied herself first in Ash's room and then in her own room. She waited a full hour before she called out to Ash. "I'm ready to go downstairs. How about you?"
"Me too. Let's have some more coffee in the garden."
It was a companionable silence broken only by the sound of Iris's horn as she parked the car behind the van. Jake whooped his way to the backyard, shouting at the top of his lungs, ' 'Pop Pop, I'm here. Let's go fishing!"
They all went fishing. Fanny said later that it was one of the nicest days of her life.
When it was time to go, Jake crawled on his grandfather's lap to smother him with hugs and kisses.
"I'll bring him up every morning until . . . and Sage will come up to get him around three," Iris said. "Ash won't be able to keep this up much longer."
"I know. I appreciate it, Iris. If it looks like it might be a bad day, I'll call you in the morning."
"If there's anything you want ... if there's anything I can do . . . call me."
"Of course."
Three weeks to the day of Ash and Fanny's arrival at Sunrise, Ash took to his bed.
Two more days passed, with Ash slipping in and out of consciousness. The third day he woke, completely alert. "Fanny, I want to ask a favor of you."
"I know, you want me to talk dirty to you," she teased.
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"Okay, but do me the favor first Will you promise before I ask it
"Sure. Ash. You*re making thi^ sound BO mysterious "
"I want you to call Simon and ask him to come up here. I know I don't hae long so va ill ou do it
"If that's what you want, Ash. of course I'll do it I'll have to go through his attorney. I don't even know where he lic
"Tr>. oka) ! Will you have the cook bring me some coffee?"
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