by Sue Barr
“I do. I was absolutely horrid to everyone there, even my own party.”
“Hmmm... well, yes you were, but that is in the past. You are quite forgiven.”
“Thank you. How did you and Darcy get off on the wrong foot? I scarcely recall him speaking to you.”
Elizabeth leaned over the table, as if imparting a great secret. “Your brother encouraged him to ask me to dance and he said, ‘She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me’.” She imitated Darcy’s manner and voice as she relayed the occurrence.
“No!” Caroline was aghast, but could very well imagine Darcy saying such a thing. He hated public assemblies and meeting new people who only looked upon him for his wealth.
“Yes. Our courtship was doomed because the very next day I told all and sundry that I could have easily forgiven his pride if he had not mortified mine.”
She laughed outright at Elizabeth’s pert response to Darcy’s dreadful behavior. It was a small miracle they’d found each other as it was obvious to anyone who spent any time in their company saw a deep and abiding love.
“Oh, Eliza, you allow me have hope.”
“You have feelings for Lord Nathan?”
Caroline pushed her eggs around on the plate with her fork as she thought about Elizabeth’s question. She had feelings. Copious amounts of feelings, not all of them charitable, but there were moments when she desired him more than she thought possible. All other men paled in comparison to him, even her beloved Darcy. She no longer looked at him in the same manner.
Finally she lifted her gaze to find Elizabeth studying her closely.
“I have feelings for him, and I believe he is going to ask permission to court me.”
“And you have reservations about this?”
“Yes... No.” She contemplated the brilliant blue sky through the window, gathering her thoughts. “I had such great plans for my life.” She turned her face back to Elizabeth. “But, as you know, they did not come to fruition.”
Elizabeth gave her a small nod of agreement, but did not interrupt.
“Lord Nathan challenges me to be a better person. His wife will be expected to aid him with his parishioners, to give more than she’s capable of...” she trailed off into a whisper.
Tears pooled in her eyes and threatened to fall into her lap. Elizabeth rose from her chair and came around to touch her shoulder.
“A year ago if anyone asked me if you were capable of compassion, I would have said ‘No’ with complete conviction, but it is obvious to me, as well as Mr. Darcy, that you have changed. The woman you are becoming is not only beautiful on the outside, but also acquiring a beauty within. Don’t doubt yourself. You have much to offer Lord Nathan. You have your heart, which is far more precious that money and jewels.”
“Thank you.” She stood and threw impulsive arms around Elizabeth’s shoulders. After a brief hesitation, Elizabeth returned the hug. “I’m so glad we are family.”
“I am too,” Elizabeth replied, her tone somewhat bemused and she stepped out of the hug. “I must not tarry. Mama’s nerves are wearing her down and I promised to bring her a tea.”
Caroline bade her goodbye and sat down to finish her meal although not much left the plate as her appetite had dissipated. Thoughts about Lord Nathan, what Elizabeth shared and her own indecision plagued her.
Later that day...
“Caroline, are you quite all right?” Georgiana looked at her in concern.
“Yes.” She picked up her tea cup and then placed it back onto the matching saucer and glanced at the clock on the fireplace mantle. Nearly ten minutes had gone by since the clock chimed two times.
“You’ve been glancing at the clock for almost twenty minutes now.”
“I have?”
She toyed with the idea of taking a bite of her cucumber sandwich, but knew she’d never be able to swallow anything given how tight her nerves were stretched. Instead, she picked up her embroidery hoop, intending to focus on the rose she’d started earlier. Louisa entered the salon and sat in the chair next to Georgiana.
“Thank goodness. I’ve been longing for a good cup of tea.”
The two ladies launched into a discussion of different teas, but Caroline heard none of it because framed in the door stood Lord Nathan. He gave each of the ladies a polite bow and then fixed his attention upon her.
“Miss Bingley, would you take a walk with me in the garden.” He waved his arm in the direction of the yard through the French doors of the parlor they were seated in.
She hesitated and knew the moment she dreaded yet anticipated had arrived. With a heart that threatened to flop out of her chest, she set down her embroidery, stood and smoothed the front of her skirt with trembling hands. After settling a shawl about her shoulders, she preceded him through the doors, very aware of his large hand resting so intimately against the small of her back. What would her sister and Georgiana make of his overt familiarity? She walked a little faster, evading his familiar touch and turned to face him at the end of the terrace.
“You presume too much, Lord Nathan. As stated before, I am not your betrothed, nor am I your sister.”
“That’s what I’ve struggled with.”
He paced to the edge of the terrace and stood by the balustrade, hands clasped behind his back. His attention seemed centered on the partially frozen lake bordering the expanse of the garden. She drew her shawl closer around her body and waited for him to continue. Finally, when she thought her lips would turn blue from cold, he faced her.
“I tried not to love you, but it has been difficult.”
Her breath caught and a flock of butterflies took flight in her stomach. He loved her? This man who chastised her every chance, loved her?
“You captivated my heart from the moment I met you. I’ve prayed and sought God for answers because I did not think you were meant for me. You were more earthly minded than heavenly and I remained convinced you only sought a marriage that would elevate you in society. You held no regard for who you would marry, but what you would marry.”
He stood in front of her and drew her icy hands into his large warm ones. She didn’t pull away, although her heart ached over his cataloguing of her past faults. All of them true. She was startled out of her melancholy when he brought her cold bare hands up to his lips and kissed each one.
“And then, dear Miss Bingley, you gave me hope where I had none before. You may not realize this, but you are a new creation in Christ. It’s there in your countenance, in your speech; I daresay it’s in your walk. You exude a peace which was not there before and you smile more readily. Georgiana practically glows from the friendship you bestow upon her.”
“I... I don’t know what to say.” His words rang of truth and she knew everything in her life had changed. Once she’d whispered that prayer to her grandmother and sought out the Lord at Kympton parish, her whole being felt as though a heavy load had fallen from her shoulders.
“Say that you will allow me court you properly and after a suitable time, I estimate three weeks, marry me.”
She focused on their clasped hands. Since they’d parted that morning, her thoughts had been consumed by questions of whether she was prepared to be a vicar’s wife, caring for others, tending those who had less alongside her husband? Was she prepared for Mr. Darcy to be her patron and by proxy, Elizabeth her patroness?
Dear Lord, what is my answer?
If she refused him, he would walk away and she’d return to London. Her dull future stretched before her filled with ‘what if’s’ and ‘might have’s’. With clarity she knew, she just knew, this was what she wanted. She didn’t need the approval of Society as long as she had this man by her side. He was her future.
She raised her gaze to his and almost broke into tears at the love that shone through his eyes.
“Yes. I’ll marry you, Mr. Kerr.”
He cupped her face in his large hands and brought his face closer. She rose to meet his kiss, but he paused and whispered, “M
ay I kiss you, Miss Bingley?”
Her heart soared and she whispered back, against lips that were but a hair’s breadth from her. “Yes.”
“Thank God.” He crushed her lips to his, angling his head to deepen the kiss and she lost all sense of time. The cold which earlier threatened to seep into her bones, retreated in the midst of his embrace. In three weeks she’d be Mrs. Nathan Kerr.
“We can’t get married!” She cried out, breaking from the embrace and stumbling away.
“What are you talking about?” He ran a hand through his unruly curls and reached for her again. She sidestepped his arms and drew her shawl close around her body. The cold was sharper now that she was no longer in his arms.
“I promised Georgiana I would stay with her while Darcy and Elizabeth are on their wedding trip, and Louisa is having her baby. I should be there for her—”
“My love,” he took her cold hands in his, not releasing them when she would have pulled away. “I have your promise of marriage and although I want nothing more than to marry you immediately – Gretna Green comes to mind – I can wait until Darcy returns.”
“What about Louisa? I promised to be there when the baby comes.”
“Do you think I’m going to lock you in the parsonage and not allow you to see your sister, or stay with her when her time comes?”
“I don’t know.”
“You’re honest in your answers to me, I’ll give you that.” He drew her close and wrapped his strong arms around her and she welcomed the warmth from his body. “I would never stop you from being with your sister. We have a lifetime to make memories.”
“Yes, we do.” She glanced up, admiring his strong jaw line. “After three months have gone by.”
“Minx,” he teased and tapped her cold nose with his finger. “This will be a good thing. I have three months to court you properly.”
“I like the sound of that, and I have three months to find out what you like and dislike.”
He adjusted her shawl so that it covered her shoulders again and offered his arm to escort her back into the house. A flurry of movement by the window told her Georgiana and Louisa were most likely scrambling back to their seats. She hid a smile, knowing they’d witnessed her most joyous moment.
“Just so you know,” he said as they strolled toward the French doors, “I like the color green, because it reminds me of a fine pair of eyes” – she blushed – “and a roast beef dinner with Yorkshire pudding.”
“Not fair! I was to discover this on my own.” She stepped ahead of him after he’d opened the door. “I shan’t give away my secrets. You will have a project.”
“I look forward to discovering everything about you.” He whispered in her ear, causing her to tremble, and not from cold.
They entered the parlor and Georgiana and Louisa studiously kept their attention on their activities. Georgiana her embroidery and Louisa her reading, although the book Louisa held was upside down, which caused Lord Nathan to smile quite broadly.
They both looked up with innocent expressions when he approached and gave them both a small bow.
“I take my leave, ladies and look forward to seeing all of you at church tomorrow.”
The look he sent Caroline’s way held much promise and he strode out of the room. Both Georgiana and Louisa watched as she sank into the chair and sighed.
“Well?” Louisa finally broke the silence.
“He says he loves me and wishes to court me, we have come to an understanding.”
Louisa put down the book, arose from the chair and hugged her. Georgiana also cried out, “I am so happy for you.”
“I want you to know, Louisa, Mr. Kerr wishes me to be with you when it’s your time.”
“I will admit, this would have worried me. He’s a good man.”
“Oh, he’s the best, Mrs. Hurst. Our parishioners love him, and I’m sure they will come to love Caroline as well.” Georgiana looked at Caroline, dismay filling her eyes. “What about staying at Pemberley? No, no. Don’t worry. I shouldn’t be so selfish.”
“Georgiana, please don’t distress yourself. We discussed this and I am staying with you as planned, but don’t be surprised if Lord Nathan comes to visit us both – a lot. You will be our chaperone. Are you up to the task?”
“Yes. I can be quite ferocious.” She tinkled out a laugh. “You will become tired of my company, I’m sure.”
“Never.” She reached across and took Georgiana’s hand in hers. “You have become my friend, almost a little sister to me.”
“Oh good, there’s still tea.” Mrs. Bennet entered the room, followed by Katherine and Mary. Georgiana rose and pulled the bell cord to request more sandwiches and a fresh pot of tea.
Mrs. Bennet settled on the couch opposite Caroline and avoided looking at her. Katherine and Mary sat on either side, although they at least afforded her a polite smile, which she returned.
Conversation quickly turned to the double wedding, only two days away and left in peace, she reflected on the happy events of the afternoon. In three months she’d become Mrs. Nathan Kerr. Such a lovely name.
~~~ooo0ooo~~~
It was with a sense of great anticipation that Nathan greeted the Lord’s Day. Caroline had accepted his proposal and his heart could not contain his joy. He prepared for the Sunday Service, which would be a decidedly happy affair as this was the final reading of the banns for all interested parties from Pemberley.
Tomorrow would also be hectic as the actual ceremony would be performed by him and he knew that when he asked each couple to repeat their vows, his focus would be on his affianced, knowing that they too would soon be following in their footsteps.
“Would that day come sooner, Lord. Three months... Please grant me patience.” He breathed a quick prayer as he made his way to the chapel to make sure there were enough hymnals in the pews and fresh flowers in the vestibule.
All too soon the church was full and he was finalizing his sermon, based on Second Corinthians, Chapter Thirteen, more commonly known as the Love Chapter. His choice had been deliberate. He truly believed when husbands treated their wives as Christ treated His church, and followed the precept set down in Holy Scripture, marriages were more secure and both parties more content. He vowed to hold Caroline in such esteem.
The church was quite full of family, friends and guests for the wedding as well as regular parishioners. Hymns were sung and he preached his sermon before a congregation very open to the thought of true love. Finally, he reached the end of the service where he would read the banns for the third and final time for Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley.
In a solemn voice he intoned, “I publish the banns of marriage between Fitzwilliam Arthur Darcy of Kympton parish, Derbyshire and Elizabeth Sophia Bennet of Longbourn parish, Hertfordshire. This is the third and final time of asking. If any of you know cause or just impediment why these two persons should not be joined together in Holy Matrimony, you are to declare it before this assembly, or forever hold your peace.”
He waited for a few seconds before moving onto the next.
“I publish the banns of marriage between Charles Matthew Bingley of St. George Hanover Square parish, London and Jane Augusta Bennet of Longbourn parish, Hertfordshire. This is the third and final time of asking. If any of you know cause or just impediment why these two persons should not be joined together in Holy Matrimony, you are to declare it before this assembly, or forever hold your peace.”
There was a tittering amongst the parishioners, who enjoyed the fact a joint wedding was taking place in their chapel on the morrow. Nathan waited until the soft chuckling subsided before starting again. This next announcement would shock everyone and he couldn’t wait to view the reactions.
“Before we leave for the day and I pray the benediction, I have one more order of business.” He cleared his throat and glanced down at Caroline who blushed furiously as she knew what was about to happen. “I publish the banns of marriage between Lord Reverend Nathanial William Kerr of Kym
pton parish, Derbyshire” – several gasps rippled through the church and Mr. Darcy openly gaped. This was much more fun than expected. – “and Caroline Anastasia Bingley of St. George Hanover Square parish, London. This is the first time of asking. If any of you know cause or just impediment why these two persons should not be joined together in Holy Matrimony, you are to declare it before this assembly, or forever hold your peace.”
He grinned openly as Georgiana turned in her pew and reached over, clasping Caroline’s hand. Her excited whisper resonated for everyone to hear, such were the acoustics of the chapel. “I’m so happy for you.” Mr. Darcy, after he’d closed his mouth and taken Elizabeth’s hand in his, allowed a glimmer of a smile to cross his face. Elizabeth’s bright eyes sparkled with happy tears.
Charles, seated next to Jane, looked bemused. Nathan had approached him yesterday out of courtesy for his sister’s hand in marriage. Although Caroline was of age and could choose whom she married, he wanted to give Charles the respect that came as head of household. Jane as always remained serene.
His brothers, Max and George, who’d arrived late last evening for the wedding, stoically faced forward, but wide smiles creased both their faces and he knew he’d receive a full ribbing later on in the day from both of them.
When everybody settled, he read a portion from psalms, prayed the benediction and led the happy congregation in the final hymn. He had eyes for no one but his beloved, who positively glowed in her pale yellow muslin gown, with a contrasting chestnut brown wool spencer. Atop her glorious curls was another jaunty hat, swathed in rich silk, a single feather fixed along the side.
Impatient as he was for the three months to be over, he cherished the thought of properly courting his bride. He adored how she blushed when he snatched a stolen kiss or two. The Lord had truly blessed him.
One year later...
“I’ve received a letter from Charles.”
“How lovely.” Caroline set down the needlepoint she’d been working on, a linen handkerchief for Nathan. “What does our dear brother have to say?”