by Deb Rotuno
Finally, my eyes fell to the newest and only grave on the property. It was set in a small grassy area facing Klamath Lake. I didn’t know how I felt about Brody’s death. Dad had taken it the hardest, feeling like he’d failed Leo in some way, but none of us would ever know if Brody was trying to protect us, leave us, or both when he’d done what he did with Harrison. Either way, it ended up getting him killed, but it gave us a chance to fight, to win, and now to thrive.
Tina heard my sigh and nudged me. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I was just thinking about Brody,” I told her softly, wrinkling my nose a little. “I just…” I shrugged, not knowing how to word it.
She nodded, her face serious for once. “Ah, I know. He was an ass, but…”
I huffed a laugh but nodded. “He was. He antagonized Jack to no end. He drank too much, and he blamed me for his dad. But he… I don’t know…” I trailed off.
“I think he was jealous, Sara,” she stated, picking up a pine cone and tossing it off the roof. “I didn’t know him like you guys—there was obviously no history with me—but I could see it. It rolled off him in waves. I think he drank to cover it up, and then it turned to anger. He…envied you.” She held up her hand. “I don’t think he had feelings for you anymore. But I think he was jealous of the whole thing that surrounds you, sweetie. Which is easy to do when you look at it.”
When I looked at her curiously, she merely smiled. “Oh, Sara… Take it from someone on the outside of this.” She gestured to the camp. “There’s a lot of history with some of these people, and the loyalty among you is thick, unwavering. And there’s Jack… None of us truly thought he’d show up, but you did. Freddie did. And he brought with him even more history and family. You guys get to keep each other, and Brody…he kinda lost everything. And while some of it was his own doing—which only added to his bad attitude, ’cause he knew it—the rest is shocking.”
She sighed, looking over at his grave. “I’d like to think he manned up before he died. I’d like to think he was trying to get those people out of here. But…I don’t know.”
“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not,” I said wearily, my eyes falling to Jack as he and Quinn put the windmill back into a standing position. He was beautiful and strong and much more relaxed than he’d been in days since we’d arrived. I was pretty sure he was shouldering Brody’s death too. He’d threatened my ex more times than I could count, and usually for good reason, but the circumstances surrounding it all were strange. Despite their past, they’d tried to fight for the same thing at the end, and I think that bothered Jack.
“I’m very lucky.” I smiled over at her. “I’m just…lucky. I don’t know any other way to put it. My family is capable and smart and trained to survive.”
Tina smiled back. “You are, which makes me lucky. I’m glad I’m a part of it. You guys welcomed Janie and me with open arms. I can’t thank you enough for that. You guys tried to do that with Brody, despite your past, but…he wouldn’t have it. His loss.”
I eyed the grave again, sighing deeply. “It’s strange, thinking he hated us before he died. That he blamed me for his dad.”
“I don’t think he did. Honestly,” she said with a laugh when I looked at her like she was crazy. “I think he blamed himself, and I think he took it out on the one person he knew could take it. You. You know, my husband used to do the same thing—lash out when he felt off or wrong. It isn’t right, but people do stupid shit when they feel…well, shitty.”
I snorted at her but nodded.
She nudged me, saying, “He trusted you; you could tell. He knew how strong you were. He’d never say it because it was his old fuck-ups that probably made you that way. And from what I heard from Lexie, he knew you guys were coming the day he died. He knew that everyone would fight, so… He may not have shown it, but there was something of a human being in there.”
I nodded again. “Yeah…”
A sharp whistle caught my ears, and I smiled down at Jack.
“You’re making me nervous up there, Shortcake,” he said, grinning when we laughed at him. He held out his arms. “Come down before I have a heart attack, okay?”
“Okay,” we sang back to him, but I pointed toward the closest window, saying, “We’ll go in the smart way so we don’t break you.”
He tsked, rolling his eyes, but waved us on. “Just get your sweet ass inside,” he stated, which made me laugh again.
We’d gone out the window of the suite Jack and I had claimed. It was about the size of our first apartment we’d shared just before we’d bought the house in Sandy. A small sitting area and two small bedrooms made up our home now. The fireplace was small and stone, and the sitting area had a sofa and chair, but it worked for us.
A low hum rumbled through the building, lights flickering here and there, and Tina and I beamed at one another.
“Sweet Lord, if they give me enough for a hot shower, I’d be a happy woman,” she sang as we left the room and made our way downstairs.
Laughing, I nodded. “Or a bubble bath…”
“Don’t tease,” she growled dramatically as we stepped out onto the deck.
I laughed again but found myself wrapped in strong arms.
“Who’s teasing?” Jack rumbled in my ear.
Grinning up at him, I raked my fingers through his much shorter hair. Olivia had been nice enough to give him and Freddie trims. “We heard the power surge a little. We were hoping for hot baths…even showers.”
I should’ve kept my mouth shut, because the dark, dangerously sexy look that crossed his face was just deadly.
“Fuck me,” he whispered as Tina walked toward the table where Ruby, Lexie, and Margaret were.
When I looked up at him, I smirked. “Now who’s teasing?”
His crooked grin flashed, but his eyes were still dark. “I miss showers… I miss fucking you in the shower… Remember—”
I placed my fingers over his lips. “Not one more word, Jackson Chambers. I can’t take it.”
“I found us more condoms,” he whispered behind my fingers, pressing a kiss to them.
His eyebrows shot up as I registered this bit of information, and suddenly my body hummed at the mere thought. We’d finished the box he’d brought with him when he first arrived, and we’d taken other precautions too, but the mere idea that we had more…
“Where? How? A lot?” I asked in a rushed whisper. “Does everyone know?”
“Souvenir shop had some…big box, behind the counter, Shortcake. And no, I’m not sure I feel like sharing this bit of intel.” His arms wrapped around me, lifting me up as heat and want fell over me. “How about your period?”
“It’s done. This morning, actually.” I told him, which was a relief. Pads and tampons were harder to come by than food, really. Glancing around, I caught sight of Olivia with Aiden and Lucy with little Zoe, and suddenly I had a question, one from our lives before all the viruses and fighting and separations. “What if… Jack, would it be so bad?”
The heat faded from his face, and he practically melted in my arms as he sat us down on one of the deck chairs. His eyes were so warm and sweet as he studied my face, and his hands changed from teasing to soothing, calming, and gentle as he hugged me closer at the same time he brushed the hair from my face.
“Um, it’s certainly something to talk about, but… Are you serious, Sara? I’m willing to revisit this conversation, baby, but… It’s different now.”
“I know.” I sighed deeply, nodding a little. “I know. I just…” I shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t know…maybe we shouldn’t… I just…”
His lips met mine in a short but deep kiss. “Fuck, I’d be more than okay with it, but you have no idea… This conversation… Sara, I needed this conversation while we were apart. It was when we’d found Aiden and Rina. I was rocking him, and I was thinking how badly I just wanted to have this conversation again, even if the outcome was no.”
Smiling at him, I kissed him softly. “Well, then, we c
an talk about it, Jack.” When he tilted his head at me, wearing the most adorably hopeful expression, I chuckled at him, but it ended quickly because reality hit me hard. “This is different, and while I completely trust your mom as my doctor, I know that things could go awry. I’m not safely tucked behind a desk this time, like with Freddie, and that scares me…for me and you. I know how you’ll be, Jack. There aren’t sonograms or tests or any of that. We’d be blind from the get-go. This would be scary as hell.”
He nodded, his face serious as he thought it over. “Um,” he started, swallowing nervously. “Okay, you’re right. And I…” He sighed deeply. “I don’t know, Sara. I’m not sure. If it was back in Sandy, with me out of the service like we’d planned, I’d jump on you—not that I won’t anyway, but still…” He grinned when I cracked up. “But I can’t chance losing you or causing us heartbreak should something go wrong. Am I wrong to want to play it safe for now?”
“No,” I whispered against his lips. “Not wrong. Smart. I was thinking with my hormones, baby.”
He chuckled but cupped my face. “Then this is no…for now?”
“For now.” I nodded solemnly, but then I leaned in to kiss him. “So…you best hide that stash of condoms,” I purred against his lips.
“Yes, ma’am,” he breathed back, but he pulled away when he heard Derek yelling for him. “I’d better get back to work. We’ve got two more windmills to fix, and I want that shower, Shortcake.”
“Me too.” I slipped off his lap, pulling him up by the hand.
His lips pressed to my forehead, whispering that he loved me.
“Okay, if we focus the power on the main things we need, then the generators won’t work so hard,” Jesse explained. “We can shut down the breakers for most of the lighting but leave the kitchen, which means the fridge. We can rework the water-heater connection because that well is in perfect condition. I was afraid a zeak would’ve fallen in, but we lucked out with how it’s covered.”
Plans and notes were spread from one end of the large coffee table in the lobby to the other. Most of us were lounging around the warm fire as Jesse and Derek went over different things with my dad.
I was sitting on the floor with Freddie and Sabrina as they showed little Aiden how to build a tower with blocks, only to knock it over. Olivia was across from me, smiling at it all. We’d found a stash of toys in one of the cabinets in a room just off the lobby. There were cars, building blocks, board games, and a few dolls, all of which had been put to good use, along with all the games Jonah had given the kids. Sasha watched on in sweet earnest and with a tilted head, poking her nose in every once in a while to cause the blocks to tumble, which resulted in the most adorable giggles. I honestly didn’t know what was cuter—her silly grin with her tongue hanging out the side or Aiden’s happy squeal when she’d nuzzle him with a cold, wet nose.
A glance around the room showed the change in dynamics since we’d arrived. Ava and Janie, who were both reading books from the shelves off in the corner, were the best of friends, since they were so close in age, though I was pretty sure Ava was crushing on Quinn something fierce. Quinn, Mallory, and Josh had become close, and I wasn’t sure who would win the poor girl’s heart, because both boys were damned smitten. Despite the loss of her sister, Mallory had adjusted, though Margaret watched over her like a mother hen. However, Quinn played it cooler than Josh, as he sat quietly picking at his guitar. Millie leaned against my dad’s chair as she listened in on what they were discussing at the table, which made me smile, because my dad would occasionally reach up to hold her hand or whisper something to her.
There were a few on duty, though here we didn’t necessarily have to go outside to keep watch. Ruby and Joel stood together at the back-deck doors, their eyes sharp, but they talked quietly to each other. Ruby would chuckle at something Joel would say, and they’d continue to pace or keep watch. Mose was at the front doors, leaning against the right window, his eyes focused on the front lawn. Tina was doing the same at the left-side window.
I didn’t see Jonah or Abe, but I’d be willing to bet they were having a chess match somewhere. My eyes finally fell to Lucy, who was breast-feeding baby Zoe in the chair closest to the fireplace. A blanket covered her, not that anyone but Jesse paid her much attention.
“Still the hormones, Shortcake?” I heard softly in my ear, and I grinned over my shoulder where Jack was sitting down in the chair behind me. When I just shook my head, he chuckled lightly, pressing a kiss to my neck, my cheek, and finally my lips. “Just checking. I wish it was…”
“I know,” I sighed into his kiss, leaning back against the chair between his legs and laying my head on his knee.
His fingers immediately sank into my hair, pulling it from my face and tucking it behind my ear, chuckling when another tower of blocks collapsed due to Sasha’s giant paw. Her soft “boof” at the giggling kids was just icing on the cake.
“You tell ’em, big girl,” he praised her, laughing at his son’s indignant glare.
It seemed the meeting at the table wasn’t quite over, and I glanced over when a heated discussion broke out between Derek and my dad.
“I’ll go, Hank! Not you! I’ll take two with me,” Derek argued, and I watched as Lexie’s head snapped up from the book she was reading like she was just hearing of it. “Just tell me where…”
“You just got back from a hunting trip, Derek.” Dad frowned when Derek merely nodded, but then he pointed to a map. “Here. It looks like two farms, side by side on the other side of the lake. I saw them today when we were fishing. It could mean more food, maybe some fuel, but that’s the Klamath Falls side of the lake, so I wouldn’t hold my breath.”
“I’ll take Joel and Josh,” Derek told him.
“I can go,” Lexie volunteered.
“Um, no.” Derek was almost harsh with his answer, shaking his head briefly before turning back to Dad. “We’ll head out in the morning.”
“Derek,” Dottie said softly, pushing a piece of paper his way. “If I’m reading this map correctly, then there’s a veterinary clinic over there. If you could check it for a few things for me, I’d appreciate it.”
“Sure, Aunt Dottie,” Derek replied, tucking the list into his pocket. When Lexie got up from the table, he barely turned her direction before grabbing up his compound bow and slipping out onto the deck.
“Stubborn ass,” Jack muttered under his breath, pursing his lips and shaking his head when I looked back at him. “He’s pushing himself for some reason. He’s taken every scouting trip and hunting trip since we got here.”
I watched Lexie leave the lobby and trudge up the stairs. “Hmm,” was all I said, but Jack snorted into a soft chuckle against my cheek. “I noticed he didn’t ask for you.”
“No, he didn’t,” he agreed, his kisses changing from light and sweet to a surreptitious flash of tongue, a scrape of teeth, and a deep, sexy hum right behind my ear. I pinched his thigh through his jeans, grinning at his, “Ow!”
“Behave, Mr. Chambers,” I warned him, snickering at the happy, heated, yet loving gaze at me.
“I can’t,” he admitted, gripping my hair just a little, though no one was paying any attention. “Just knowing that the showers may be working tonight…” My gasp and wide eyes made him laugh. “Oh, yes…” he trailed off, kissing my lips.
“Damn it, Jack. Derek’s too far,” Joel alerted from the back door. “I can’t see him.”
“Fuck,” Jack barely said aloud, but then he nodded. “I’ll go catch him.” He turned back to me. “As soon as Freddie’s asleep…it’s so on, Mrs. Chambers.”
“Evil,” I hissed, rolling my eyes and flicking his ear when he laughed into my neck. “Go. Get away from me, Jack.”
He tried to feign hurt, but he failed miserably and adorably, only to stand up, throwing a wink my way.
“Be careful.”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll be right back.”
JACK
I rubbed my earlobe to sooth the stin
g of Sara’s thump, giving her a teasingly foul look, which caused her to merely laugh. I shook my head as I walked away from her toward the back-deck doors, picking up my compound bow before giving Joel a nod on my way outside as Sasha followed me. I took a deep breath of cool, crisp night air, letting it calm down parts of me I couldn’t control today.
I wanted my wife. It was utterly ridiculous, but it was the truth all the same. Between settling us all in, Freddie needing her at night, and Sara’s period, I was feeling like a damned horny teen. Finding that big-ass box of condoms was like finding the Holy Grail. I felt spoiled for her, but when the mention of showers—hot showers, at that—had finally become a possible reality, I couldn’t help but hope. Something so simple yet…not. There had been a time that showers were the only privacy Sara and I had had. We’d slip under the spray as Freddie still slept or watched TV or even ate his breakfast before school. It was silly, but it was a part of our past that I truly missed. I wanted it back.
My eyes adjusted to the moonlight, but I found my cousin in the shed that housed the solar generators. A dim beam from a flashlight flickered around inside, and I found him tinkering with the gauges, nodding to himself.
Shifting the compound bow to my back, I leaned against the doorway and folded my arms across my chest. “You shouldn’t come out here alone, D,” I told him, smirking when he rolled his eyes my way. “I’m aware you can handle shit yourself, but still…”
“Your concern is heartwarming.”
Snorting into a chuckle, I shook my head at his sarcasm. “Well, you’re all delicate and shit.”
“Mmm, right.”
He continued to check the generator, only to leave the shed for the lodge’s side door that led down to the basement, which held the water heater. I followed along to not only watch his back but to see what the fuck was bothering him so damn bad. I knew my cousin. I knew he was pushing himself, trying to punish himself for some reason.