by Jason Luthor
Of course, not freaking out’s the trick, and obviously not everyone learns it.
We had one more day of scavenging planned before we were supposed to take off, and what’s weird is it only took that long before the bunks started to feel kinda like home. Obviously, not in, like, a real home kind of way, but it at least felt like we were sort of safe. By our third night there, that was my bunk. My gear was stashed there, nobody else’s. Sure, we had walls of Creep infesting the halls outside, but we’d done a pretty snazzy job of cleaning up in the room. All the girls were on one side and the boys were on the other, like we were at an awkward dance or something. That wouldn’t have been terrible if it were just Dodger near me. She’s annoying, but at least she’s, you know, smart. She had the bunk above me, and Jamila was just across from us. And, see, I could have dealt with Jamila too. I like her, and it’s not like I say that about tons of people.
Shreya, though. God, like I don’t have enough I feel terrible about. Shreya had the top bunk, above Jamila, and you know, I figured that two people from the lower floors couldn’t be super different. Jamila’s always so happy. Sunny’s got a smile like a laser beam. But Shreya? That banshee? I can’t deal.
So, we’re sitting around just talking after getting back from scavenging. It’s something we do almost every night, which makes sense considering there’s nothing else we could be doing. I mean, there’s, like, one game on my tablet to play if I don’t feel like talking. Think about it, though. I’m already not the most super popular person in the Tower. Do I really want to go out of my way to stay separated from everyone on a team this small? At some point, I need to get to know them, right? Unless I want to spend the rest of the Scavenging being angsty because everyone hates me or something.
Anyway, we’re there, chatting, and I don’t know how it comes up. I think we’re talking about food or something. Yeah, so, I mention how my mom made me hamburgers a few weeks back. It’s not like I think twice about it. I’m, like, halfway into my story when Shreya just starts laughing. The story’s not even funny, so I just shoot her an eye and stare at her for a second before I say anything.
“Hey, uh, something making you laugh, Shreya?”
She shakes her head as she looks down on me. “All of you high levelers. You talk about things as if everyone knows what it’s like. Hamburger. How would I even know what hamburger tastes like?” Shreya leans over her bed, looking at Jamila. “How about you? Hamburger? Have you ever had it?”
I can tell Jamila doesn’t want to get involved, but what else can she do? “No, Shreya,” she literally sighs. “Jackie was just talking though.”
“Of course, talking like all high levelers do. As if we all have it as good as her. She has never even stopped to think that maybe some of us have had it worse off. I have never had meat in my life. We barely get fed by Authority.”
By that point, I’ve been holding my breath in for a minute, and I feel like I’m going to explode. “Look, it’s not like I was trying to rub it in your face or anything. You’re making it sound like I think I’m better than you or something.”
“Don’t you? You’re the darling daughter of the head scientist for the whole Tower. You’ve even been given a chance to come on this mission even though you’re not eighteen yet. Do you think any of the rest of us would have gotten that opportunity?”
“It’s not like that.”
“No, it could never be.” She huffs and closes her eyes. “How big’s your home, anyway? Two rooms? Three?”
I shouldn’t answer, but my mouth’s bigger than my brain sometimes. “Well, we’ve got the kitchen, and the living room, obviously, plus my bedroom and my parent’s bedroom. It’s not huge or anything.”
“It’s not? Jackie, my home has one room for four people. The kitchen is practically built into the bedroom, and the only room you can’t see when you come inside is our bathroom. I wouldn’t even know what it’s like to live in a home with a living room.”
God. “Is it like that for everyone?”
She shrugs, but my ears pick up on Jamila’s voice as she cuts in. “No, it’s not that way for everybody. After Floor 12, everything’s just random. I have a bigger place than Shreya does, and nobody cares about it or where we’re living. But really, Jackie, why would Authority care about it? They don’t even really care about feeding us or anything.”
Shreya nods. “You’d think for a girl as smart as you that you’d put it all together. You walk through the lower floors one time and think you know what life is like for us. You don’t. I have to watch my sister go hungry because she can’t understand why we don’t have enough food to last the week. I have to work that rooftop just like you do, and I never get any food from it. Sometimes, we’re lucky, if we’re given seeds during our weekly delivery. Then we can plant just enough food to keep us alive for a few more months. Of course, our vegetables aren’t like yours. We’re lucky if they don’t fall apart in our hands when we pull them. Also, you don’t have to worry about having to wake up every morning and using a flamethrower to burn away the Creep because it’s grown over your door overnight, worrying the whole time that, if you go too fast, it will grab you and pull you into the wall. Then what would my sister say when she woke up? What would my parents tell her? Oh, sorry, but Shreya died trying to get out of the house this morning.”
She’s got a right to be angry, and I do feel bad for her, but she’s aiming her guns at the wrong person, and I already guilt trip myself enough about my life. “Look, Shreya, I’m sorry, okay? What are you expecting me to say? I didn’t put you in that apartment, and I don’t want you staying there. Do you think I’d be on the Scavenging if I didn’t want to help? It’s not like I have to do this.”
“Another way you get to hold yourself over our heads, Jackie. Oh, how nice of you to come down from your gilded cage to bless us with your presence. It’s not like you have to keep doing this for seven years of your life, just out of the hope that you can move further up the Tower. Not like some of us.”
“Well, what else, Shreya? Because you’re right. You can think whatever you want, but I’m here because I want to be. I’m sorry I don’t feel guilty about being born where I was. I mean, the only thing I can do is try and help. If you don’t want it, fine. I’m still here. I’m still going to have to fight with you if trouble starts. So, spend the whole time hating me if that makes you feel better. It’s not like there are tons of people that like me anyway.”
I don’t know why those are the words that get her to shut up, but she finally pulls her legs over the bed and disappears. I mean, not completely. I can still see her over the edge of the mattress, but she’s made it obvious she hates me, which, I mean, join the club. It’s got me pissed off though, you know? I end up staring at her for half a minute before I walk off, because how the hell am I supposed to sleep after that? It’s not like I leave the room or anything, not that I’d want to, but I just have to get away. The fact that half the team witnessed that doesn’t help. God. It’s embarrassing, and you know, is it too hard to ask for her to be professional?
I’m pacing when a hand on my shoulder nearly sends me spinning into a punch. My arm’s already going up when I realize Jamila’s there, and she looks ready to defend herself if she has to. When I realize it’s her, I yank my arm back and heave out, like it’s my final breath or something. “Sorry, Jamila.”
“Girl, are you kidding? After that?”
“I know, it’s just, what the hell, man? Why’s she on my back?”
“You know Shreya. She’s hot tempered, plus she’s always angry at people that live on the upper floors.”
“Even the commander?”
“Even him, but she can’t say anything about it to his face.”
My eyes roll hard until I’m staring past Jamila and over at Shreya’s bunk. “So, she takes it out on me instead or what?”
“Yeah. I mean, really Jackie, everyone that lives on the lower floors kind of resents the people on the higher ones. I’d be lying if
I said it didn’t bother me that we have so little to eat and stuff like that. I keep it under control, but I get why she feels the way she does.”
“So, you hate me too?”
“Don’t be angry. You know I don’t feel that way about you. I was just trying to tell you that everyone that has to live on the lower levels goes hungry, has to worry about surviving, that sort of thing. Me. Sunny. Shreya. We’ve all had to deal with it.”
“Yeah, but you’ve had it worse than Shreya. You live further down than she does.”
“That just means I get a few less vegetables in my box every week, but not much. Would four or five extra carrots really make you feel full?”
I mean, obviously, she’s right. “No. Guess not.”
“Just let her cool down. She’ll be okay. It’s not like she doesn’t have to chill anyway. If she stays pissed off, then the Creep’s just going to come after her.”
“You can’t talk to her or anything, can you? I don’t know, just let her know I want to help or something. That I’m not some rich toolshed or anything.”
“Aw, you do care, Jackie.” She winks as she turns away. Ugh. I guess I can live with that from Jamila. I mean, it’s not like I can alienate everyone that wants to be my friend. Apparently, I already do that without trying.
Recording Twenty-Three
Between finding those bodies and Shreya getting pissed at me, I can't forget that we’re here to, you know, feed the Tower. It keeps us busy and it’s the only thing keeping me cool, which is also probably why the Creep’s not trying to bust out of the walls to get me. Anyway, at some point I manage to completely distract myself. The room I’m in is a huge mess and I’m literally starting to think I'm going to have to stick my hand down the toilet to find out where this Pocket Space Generator might be.
Ugh.
Tommy’s a room over. We’ve agreed it’s cool to split up when we’re doing these searches as long as nobody’s freaking out, and I’m doing my best to keep those creatures we saw out of my head. It’s not like they looked any worse than Creepy Sally, so that’s not what’s really bothering me. It’s what the commander had to say, about them not being random, that keeps burning up in the back of my head. Well, that just means I’ve got hunches and no answers, and it’s not like I deal well when I’ve got this many questions.
So, I’m busy thinking about this while I’m trying to shove aside a dresser, when I’m hit with this droning noise. It starts like a low buzzing, then it grows until I feel like it’s drilling into my eardrum. I’m on tiptoes as my eyes start zipping around the room, because I can’t figure out where the sound is coming from, and I don’t want to get surprised by something busting out of the walls and rampaging at me. Then I realize it’s coming from directly in my left ear. That’s where my listener’s plugged in, and I feel my heart slowing down again. I’m only kind of surprised when a voice kicks through my head.
“Jackie. Are you there?”
Pygmalion. I exhale, ‘cause I’m just glad this wasn’t another Creep monster. “Yeah, duh. Did you think you had a wrong number or something?”
“I merely had to ensure that our connection was sound. It’s not easy, even for me, to bypass the security that filters these signals. It’s important that this conversation remains hidden from the rest of Tower Authority. Of course, that also means keeping it secret from Abbott.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s not like I forgot that you told me he was a tool.”
“In so many words.”
I don’t mention the fact that even knowing who he works for, I’ve got to confess that Abbott’s been kinda cool to be around. I’ve realized I was slow to admit Tommy was pretty chill when I got to know him, so I dunno, I guess I could be wrong about other people. Not like I’m perfect, either. Of course, I keep that to myself since I don’t need to create any drama between me and the director. “So, is there something you need talk to me about?”
“I thought it might be appropriate to discuss what you saw.”
I shake my head and turn toward the dresser. “You mean the bodies.”
“Correct. You seem . . . bothered.”
“Which you know how, exactly?”
“Your listener transmits not only visuals but biosigns being produced by your body. Your elevated heart rate, blood pressure, and rapid breathing are all signs of stress.”
“Wow, you have no idea how incredibly creepy it is that you can scan all that stuff, do you?”
“Of course, we have to look out for the welfare of our Scavengers.”
Yeah, I’m sure that’s it. “Well, if you really want to get into it then, sure, I think being stressed is just a little understandable considering what Abbott had to say about those monsters. I just think it’s weird that everyone thinks these things are rare, but then we just find two of them on the same day. And they’re in cages. And Abbott thinks that’s suspicious too.”
“What exactly are you implying?”
“Look. I may not be the smartest person or anything, but, if these things are so rare, then we shouldn’t have found two of them together. I mean, they were in freaking cages, so somebody had control of them. Plus, if it wasn’t random then it was on purpose, and that means that somebody wants to get people bonding with Creep.” I give up on pushing the dresser for a second. “Look, Edward, I’m just saying it’s kinda shady that we’ve got two infested people that were left behind by the Cultists, who I've been told think that bonding is, like, paradise or something. So, do I think something sneaky’s going on here? Yeah, obviously. Whoever these guys are, I think they’re trying to get people to change into those things, and the bodies we found were probably the result of some experiment they're doing. I can’t prove it, but I’m usually not wrong about this stuff.”
There’s a long pause on the other end for a second, so I rest against the dresser and wait as I sort through my own scattered thoughts on the whole thing. After a pause, I hear the director come back on. “It is true that the Cultists are not merely madmen, even if they are portrayed as such. There are those among them with some limited knowledge of how the Creep binds to people, although I must emphasize that such knowledge is by no means comprehensive. It has long been my suspicion that, indeed, there were some forms of experimentation going on, attempts to join people with the infestation. How they were going about that, though? We have never had clear access to their records to find out.”
“What about that stuff that Dodger’s going through? Didn’t Abbott ask her to unlock those?”
“Yes, those are particularly interesting, although they are still highly encoded. Your teammate’s work is still quite incomplete, but from the data she’s been able to unlock so far, there are hints of the experiments that were being conducted. Once she has finished decoding them completely, there may be a full record of how these bonding processes occur, available to myself and Tower Authority.”
“I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”
“Jackie. We still both share the same goal: the survival and freedom of humanity.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. I wouldn’t even be on the team down here without you.” I’m distracted for a second as my fingers slide over a journal that looks ready to fall apart. “Anyway, the goal’s still to get out of here, right? Rescue Mike and find a way out of the Tower?”
“I have never wavered in my commitment to saving humanity. I have only one goal, and that is to save our species at any cost.”
My lips twist into a frown. “Yeah. Okay. Sorry, I’m just, you know, weirded out by everything.”
“Understandable. Continue your good work. I am sure that soon you will find your lost comrades. Then you can return and receive a proper repayment.”
“Alright. Sounds good.”
“Following the disconnection of this message, your feed will once again be routed through the normal channels. Please do not attempt to speak to me. Authority would be in an uproar if they knew I had contacted you.”
“Yeah, I
got it. Good chat.”
“Take care, Jackie.”
I huff as the listener starts droning. When the noise cuts off, I assume I’m being spied on again, so I pretend as if the conversation didn’t even happen. Instead, I flip open the journal I just found and watch as its spine disintegrates. The cover literally tears off the book before it slides behind the dresser. I’m not able to see it, but I’m pretty confident that it probably becomes powder when it hits the floor.
I’m ready to start looking for that generator again when I notice the writing on the journal pages. It’s not like I’m into reading everyone’s diaries or anything, but the way the words are written makes me freak. Every word is scratched in like they were written by a crazy person, and they dance in and out of the lines. I try to lift one of the pages, and even though I know what to expect, I risk it. The paper literally evaporates in my hand as I hold it up, but at least I can see the next few pages.
There are only three sentences, and they keep repeating over and over again.
I HEAR THE EMPTY VOICE
I SEE THE MESSENGER IN THE DARKNESS
I SEE THE SHADOW EYED MAN
I’m suddenly super aware of the dim light of the room, and I can feel my heartbeat accelerating. I rip one more page away, and as it falls apart, I can see the exact same words continuing on for forever through the rest of the journal. As I step back, the room starts to soak red until everything is hazy, and the edges of my vision start going dark. My legs feel like the blood’s draining out of them, like there’s just a numbness creeping up through my thighs and into my waist.
But no matter what I do, I can’t move. It’s like my legs are stuck to the ground. The walls are starting to shake with blackness, and it’s getting so cold I can see the breath leaving my mouth. Suddenly the figures start to pull away from the walls, prying themselves free until they’re standing in the room. For a second, I’m locked with the crimson eyes of one of the men, and it’s like my neck muscles freeze up. I can’t turn away, no matter what I do. It’s like I’m paralyzed from the head down.