Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles
By Grace Ann Parsons
—a Proud Housewife
First published in 2014 as a series of fourteen parts on FanFiction.net
Chapter 1
Author's Note: Hello, friends! My name is Grace Ann. I'm new to this whole fanfiction thing; but recently, I've encountered a problem that I believe this is the solution to. My little ones have been asking to read the Harry Potter books; and of course I'm happy for them to be reading; but I don't want them turning into witches! So I thought….. why not make some slight changes so these books are family friendly? And then I thought, why not share this with all the other mommies who are facing the same problem? So—Ta da! Here it is! I am SO excited to share this with all of you! So, without further ado—
Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Harry Potter who lived under the stairs in a house on Privet Drive with his aunt and uncle. He was a good, obedient boy who did all his chores; but he felt that there was something missing in his life. Something big and special; but he could not quite name it. He stayed up every night; and wished for this special something; but then one day, there was a knock at his door—and everything changed.
"Answer the door, Harry!" his Aunt Petunia, a career woman, barked from her armchair where she sat with her feet up. She had short, curly blonde hair and never wore any makeup. Uncle Vernon nodded sheepishly from the kitchen; and put a tray of moist, chocolatey brownies in the oven.
Shouldn't you be doing that? Harry thought; but he was a very obedient young boy, so he answered the door right away. He turned the brass, metal doorknob; and pulled open the heavy, wooden door.
On the porch was standing a huge, muscular man with a big, manly beard; and he was dressed in a plaid, red shirt, blue jeans, and sturdy, leather boots. His chest was covered in a thick, unruly carpet of coarse, brown hair. He wore a necklace that looked to Harry like a lowercase T. Just looking at Harry feel happy, peaceful somehow; but he couldn't say why!
"Good morning, kiddo," the man greeted amiably; and smiled at Harry. He had the peaceful, friendly sort of face you just knew you could trust. "My name is Hagrid. Could I speak to your mommy and daddy?"
"I don't have a mommy or daddy," Harry replied sadly; and looked at his raggedy, old shoes that were blue. Perhaps that was why he felt so lonely, he thought, not for the first time. Maybe that was what he was missing—a mommy and daddy. But no, that was not quite right.
"I am so sorry to hear that!" Hagrid uttered empathetically.
"You can speak with my auntie and uncle," Harry retorted politely; and blinked his big, blue, childlike eyes.
"What do you want?" Aunt Petunia peered out the door with her narrow, suspicious eyes; and she was wearing a baggy, unflattering pantsuit.
"Hello, neighbor! I was wondering if you have been saved," Hagrid exclaimed brightly; and tipped his wide-brimmed, straw cowboy hat.
Aunt Petunia laughed a gravelly laugh; and leaned forward on her sturdy, practical boots. "Saved? Don't tell me you are you one of those Christians?"
Harry did not know what that word meant; but Hagrid's smile was the most peaceful smile he had ever seen. It made Harry feel warm and happy inside just seeing the glowing, radiant grin on the kind, friendly stranger's face. He wondered why Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon did not smile like that...
"Yes, I am," Hagrid replied kindly. "Are you?"
Aunt Petunia laughed again; and stuck her pointy, sharp nose up in the air. "We are too smart for that. Haven't you read Dawkins? God is dead! Dawkins proved that. Would you like us to educate you on the Dawkins?"
"What is a Christian?" Harry queried innocently; and scuffed his shoe on the shaggy, yellow carpet which had not been vacuumed in quite some time.
"Christians are people who want to be good," Hagrid explained wisely; and crouched down so he was on eye level with Harry. "We want to go to heaven after we die. Do you know what heaven is, Harry?"
Harry shook his head; and his big eyes were wide and curious.
"Heaven is a beautiful place where we can be with God."
Aunt Petunia smacked her hands over Harry's young ears; and her voice was sickly sweet when she said, "Thank you very much for your concern, sir, but he does not need your religion, he has science and socialism and birthdays. Haven't you heard of Evolution? I have a very good textbook on Evolution that I could give you on it if you would like to learn things."
Hagrid laughed wisely. "Evolution is a fairytale. You don't really believe that, do you?"
"Yes, I do!" Aunt Petunia screeched.
"Well then prove it!"
Aunt Petunia could only stare at him; and her big mouth hung open dumbly. Here she thought she was so educated; and always demanded that Christians prove what they believed in; but she couldn't even prove her own religion. It was then that Harry knew who the smart one here was!
"Tell me how to get to this heaven place!" Harry cried wistfully, clasping his hands together. Sometimes, the wisdom of little ones is really amazing. We think we grownups know it all; but then God speaks through the mouths of little ones; and shows us how we are all mortals struggling along the path of life. Humility.
"All you have to do is be saved. Do you want to be saved?"
"I do, I do!" Harry squealed, jumping up and down.
"Then pray the sinner's prayer!"
Aunt Petunia tried to stop him; but she was powerless against Harry's pure, innocent, holy energy. Soon, Harry had said the prayer. Hagrid beamed happily.
"You're a Christian now, Harry!" Hagrid cried proudly.
Harry smiled but then interrogated, "But how do I be a Christian? I don't know how!"
Hagrid grinned widely. "There is only one place to learn that—Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles!"
Author's Note: SO what do you all think? I may not be a professional writer; but I think I am being given the talent to pull this off in service of a greater mission =)
Blessings!
—Grace Ann
Chapter 2: New Horizons
Author's Note: Hello, friends! I have been getting so many lovely, thankful messages from mommies everywhere; and I just want to say—thank you all for your encouragement! However; I have also been getting several messages saying that my story is bad because Harry Potter is not just about witches; it is also about friendship and kindness and bravery. Friends: this is exactly what I have been saying! Harry Potter has many good things about it; but it still has witchcraft; so my children cannot read it. BUT that is why I am writing this! So they can have all the adventure and good morals of the Harry Potter books without all that bad stuff that is bogging it down. I mean, Matthew 3:12, am I right?! So, without further ado—on to chapter two =)
"Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles?" Harry queried; and clasped his hands. Just at hearing that name, he felt such a sense of inner peace. He wanted to have more of that peace; and he wanted to learn how to be a good Christian—he was starting to think that peace and being a good Christian were in fact the exact same thing! "I want to go there!"
Hagrid beamed widely. He had been praying so hard to save a soul today; and he was so happy to have saved the soul of such a sweet, earnest little one. The poor boy, being raised by two parents who were not Christian; and who both went to work and left him with a babysitter all day long. It was a good thing Hagrid had got here in time. Five years down the road, Harry might have been a fornicating, drug-addicted Evolutionist!
"Don't be silly, Harry," Aunt Petunia commanded; and wrung her long, bony hands. "Come back inside; I will read to you about Evolution from the Dawkins. You do not need that silly religion."
Harry s
crunched up his innocent little face; and thought very hard. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were as close to parents as he had; and this was the only home he knew. Could he really leave? But—he was saved now. He had prayed the Sinner's Prayer. He could not stay here not anymore not with what he knew now. Suddenly, he knew what he had to do.
"No, Aunt Petunia," he uttered calmly with childlike wisdom. "Evolution is not real. And I am going to Hogwarts."
"No, no, Harry," Aunt Petunia screeched desperately. "I have an idea. You can have a second birthday today. You like birthdays, right?"
"Birthdays are not of God," Harry verbalized knowingly; and looked at his aunt with an innocent wisdom. "You tried to corrupt me; but it did not work. But I forgive you, Aunt Petunia; because of Luke 23:34."
Hagrid was amazed once again at the wisdom of little ones. He did not know if he could forgive someone who had hurt him as much as this woman had hurt little Harry. Deny him the truth? Who could be so cruel? But Harry did not even think twice about it. He forgave—just like that! Truly, Hagrid gained a new understanding of Matthew 19:14 that day.
"Do not leave, Harry!" Dudley wailed childishly.
"I must," Harry said; and stepped over the threshold. "Goodbye, Dursleys. I hope you are saved too one day."
And with that, he and Hagrid began to walk down Private Drive.
"How will we get to this school, Hagrid?" Harry queried curiously.
"We will pray," Hagrid retorted knowledgeably.
"How do we do that?" Harry solicited inquisitively.
"Watch," Hagrid said; and then got down on his knees on the road. He motioned for Harry to get down on his knees too. Hagrid raised his hands to the heavens; and cried out in a deep, thunderous voice, "Dear Lord, take us to Hogwarts!"
Harry felt himself being whisked away; and in a moment, he was sitting in the cool, damp grass outside a humongous, beautiful castle. He looked in awe at the tall towers and the gray stones. What a beautiful place!
A tall, thin man with a long, pointed beard and big, wire spectacles stood in front of Harry. He was wearing a brown, tweed suit and a nice, matching hat. His shoes were made of leather and polished until they shone. He had a smile much like Hagrid's smile. So peaceful, Harry just knew he could trust him! A lovely, kindly young woman with flowing blonde hair and a pleasant, heart-shaped face stood beside this holy man.
"Hello, there, little one," the man greeted amicably. "I am the Reverend Albus Dumbledore, and this is my wife, Minerva. Welcome to Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles!"
Author's Note: Blessings!
Chapter 3: Dinnertime!
Author's Note: Hello, friends! I have struggled a lot about whether or not to keep going with this story; but, with a lot of praying, my husband and I have decided it is the right thing to do. We want our little ones to have good, Christian literature to read; and in this modern world, sometimes, that can be hard to come by! So I will just have to make do =)
"Pleased to meet you, Reverend Dumbledore," Harry replied enthusiastically; and got to his feet. "This sure is a beautiful place you have here!"
The Reverend beamed. "Why thank you, little one!" His voice had a distinctive southern twang to it that made Harry feel so safe and welcome. He knew in that moment that the Reverend was a man of God.
"This poor little one was being raised in a terrible situation," Hagrid declared concernedly. "He was watched by a babysitter every second of the day. His aunt saw him as part of her perfect life package. Like the big house, the fancy career, the speedy car."
Dumbledore shook his head sadly. "Too bad no one told her: parenting should be about the children. Not the parents. That is why it is called parenting!"
Hagrid nodded wisely.
Dumbledore turned to Harry and announced authoritatively, "Now, you can start your classes tomorrow morning. Today, you can get settled into your dormitory. But first, why don't you eat dinner with my family and me?"
"Really?" Harry gasped excitedly. "I've never had a family dinner before!"
"Why don't you come with us, then!" Dumbledore cried kindly; and then got down on his knees. Everyone else did the same. Raising his large, massive, manly hands up to the heavens, Dumbledore bellowed in a voice even louder than Hagrid's had been, "Lord, please take us to the kitchen!"
Suddenly, they all found themselves in a tasteful, decorated kitchen!
"Wow!" Harry shouted in awe. He was still getting used to the power of prayer! Sometimes, we take the wonderful things the Lord gives us for granted; and it takes a newcomer to the fold for us to understand just how blessed we are! "That was amazing!"
Hagrid smiled knowingly. "God is an amazing guy."
"He sure is," the reverend's wife chuckled, before getting down to her knees and raising her own hands upwards. "Dear Lord, please set the table with the sky-blue cloth and the Sunday dishes, and please give us biscuits fried golden brown and gravy, creamy mashed potatoes, my great aunt Eleanor's corn casserole, corn on the cob slathered with butter, and for dessert, some chocolate raspberry cookies."
All of these things appeared on the table exactly as the reverend's wife had asked for them, masterfully prepared and delicious-smelling. Harry's mouth dropped open. Truly, this woman was a real Proverbs 31 wife!
"Hermione!" The reverend summoned loudly. "Dinnertime!"
Immediately, and with cheerful obedience, an eleven-year-old girl in a pretty, pink dress with a matching bow came running down the stairs. She ran over to her father; and gave him the winning smile that daughters have.
"Welcome home, daddy!" She smiled, and then turned to his wife. "Can I help at all with dinner, mommy?"
"It is all prepared, thanks be to God," her mother retorted gracefully. Hermione nodded knowingly.
"Hermione, I would like you to meet Harry Potter, our newest student at Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles," Dumbledore introduced magnanimously. "Harry, I would like you to meet Hermione Granger, my beloved daughter."
"Pleased to meet you," Hermione responded sweetly, with an shy grin.
Harry could barely respond. This was the most beautiful young woman he had ever come across. So different from all the girls in public school; who were focused on trying to be like the career women they saw on The Sex and the City. This little one was the picture of innocence and godliness.
"Now," Dumbledore pronounced genially, "let's eat!"
As the holy men, women, and little ones dug into the delicious manna the Lord had granted them; the conversation amongst the adults turned to darker topics. Harry listened intently; and he did not understand it; but he was very interested.
"Dark days are coming," Hagrid pronounced gravely around a mouthful of casserole. "Evil forces are coming into this world; and the little ones at Hogwarts may be our last resort!"
"Psalm 127:5," Dumbledore referenced solemnly, and the others around the table nodded knowingly. Hogwarts might be the last hope for the forces of good in this world!
Author's Note: Blessings!
Chapter 4: Dangerous Days Ahead
Author's Note: Hello, friends! I apologize for being gone for so long—one of my little ones came down with pneumonia, so of course, my life has been nothing but doctor's appointments and chicken soup—and that's on top of all the other work a mommy has to do! I had nearly forgotten about this little story of mine when I sat down to catch up my email and—lo and behold!—there were dozens of messages from this lovely site.
Now, of course, there were some hateful messages that made me very sad, but for every review posted by an Evolutionist with a bee in his bonnet, there were three lovely private messages from other mommies out there, thanking me for doing the Lord's work. Wow! I know when the Lord is telling me something! So, here is another chapter for all you mommies out there, and all you non-believers spreading hatred—well—let's see if you aren't converted by the time this story's over =)
When the delicious, filling dinner had ended, Harry wiped some last, tasty cookie crumbs from the sides of h
is mouth. He was very full—and very tired. Discovering the Truth, being saved, and coming to Hogwarts—it had certainly been a long day for this little one!
"You look like you could use a good night's sleep," the reverend's wife commented daintily. "How would you like to move into your dormitory?"
"I would love to!" Harry cried cheerfully. He was so excited to become a student here; and he was so grateful for the opportunities the Lord had given him. Sometimes, people who have done without are the most grateful!
"Hermione, why don't you show our newest student to the dormitory?" Dumbledore suggested wisely.
"I'd love to, daddy," Hermione replied obediently with an innocent, girlish smile; and got to her feet; and smoothed out the skirt of her becoming, pink frock. "Should I clean the kitchen first?"
"I can take care of that tonight," the reverend's wife answered indulgently; and she was already beginning to clear the elegant, porcelain dishes.
"Thank you, mommy!" Hermione shouted gratefully; and she walked over to Harry. "Would you please come with me?"
Harry blushed shyly; and got to his feet. His aunt had never taught him how to talk to pretty girls. She always said that pretty girls were shallow and not very smart and that a real woman put her career first and didn't care about her looks; but it only took one look at this godly young girl to realize just how wrong that was! A woman taking pride in her appearance is honoring the Lord; because after all, it is the Lord who gave her a pretty face and nice hair. Taking care of that is important! Harry got the feeling that Hermione was as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside.
The two little ones stepped out into the brisk, chilly night; and for a few minutes, they were both silent. Harry did not think it was possible for this sweet, demure girl to be as nervous as he was; but going by the silence, perhaps she was a little nervous herself!
After a few minutes, Hermione welcomed shyly, "Welcome to Hogwarts! It is a wonderful place; and we really are so glad to have you here."
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