“No, you don’t. Stop it now.” He huffed. “You don’t get to be mean to yourself about this and say you’re a bad person.” He hooked his index finger under her chin and lifted her gaze to him. “It’s not your fault he made bad choices. And you told me all the things you said to him—they were all helpful, not hurtful.”
“Yeah, right.” She snorted and shook her head a little bit.
Once again, all she wanted was to go light up in the parking lot.
Why had she quit smoking? Nervous, electric energy radiated through her chest and out to her limbs, making her kind of jerky.
Oh, yeah, couldn’t really afford it—wanted to be good for Adam and get on his dad’s good side. She still really, really wanted one, more than anything right now.
“God! We have Christmas in less than a week! And now I’ve gotta go and deal with a funeral.” Her neck whipped back, and she moaned as she stared at the ceiling. “I . . . I was actually looking forward to this stupid holiday for the first time in years because I was going to be spending it with you and your family. Now I’ll be gone.”
“We’ll celebrate early.” He brushed her hair over her shoulder and ran his hand down her back. “And I’ll come with you. I like flying with you. You get real snuggly and kissy. It’s nice.” She could feel him smiling.
Her head fell back into place and kind of bounced at the bottom when she hit a level gaze.
“Kissy? That’s a new one. I don’t think I’ve ever been called that before.” She chuckled silently, her abs moving.
She uncrossed her ankles, leaned forward and rested her forehead on his chest. “This is a mess. Seriously—what am I going to do? I can’t afford a funeral, and I know my mom sure as hell can’t.”
“Maybe your dad prepared ahead for this type of thing and has some money set aside?” he offered, his voice going up at the end, letting on he really doubted what he was saying.
Instead of calling her mom right away, she finished out the day at school, taking the time to think this through.
Her dad, Willem Cole, had a bad habit of collecting everything and anything. He was the worst hoarder she’d ever seen, claiming everything he owned was of inestimable value. His house was an all-out disaster, and the idea of emptying it was beyond daunting. If it weren’t for the fact there were some scrapbooks, mementos of when their family had been together, she really would have the place either bulldozed or burned to the foundation.
But who knew where any of those valuable memory items might be? They were lost in mounds of unimportant knickknacks and stuff nobody needed or wanted.
When the day that dragged on forever finally ended, she made some decisions.
Adam met her at his car and let her in, then pulled out of the parking lot like he was in a hurry to take her away from here.
“Adam, I want to talk to my mom in person. Can you drop me off at her place, and I’ll call you when I’m done and need a ride back home?”
“I’ll go with you since I’m going back to Alta with you. I need to know the plan,” he said.
“Okay, but be prepared for her to act like she can’t stand me. I’m sure she’ll say some pretty awful stuff.” A lump formed in her throat.
He smiled and caressed her hand with his free one. “But it won’t matter—because this time I know everything about your past, so I’ll know when she’s lying, and I’ll know how to defend you.” His eyes were bright.
He changed the course of the car so they were heading to her old house, instead of her new one with him.
“You don’t have to do that,” she said. The idea of him battling it out with her mom was nauseating.
“I can handle it.” He pushed his chest out.
“I know you can. But she’s not worth it. You can’t reason with her. She won’t listen.” She kissed the corner of his mouth and then wiped it away with the pad of her thumb. After she had it dry, she kept rubbing her finger over that spot because that lip twitched into a lopsided smile. “Although, if you smile at her like that—I think she’ll be too dazed to respond. Do you have any idea how absolutely gorgeous you are? With your amazing personality on top of it—she’ll be defenseless.”
“That’s a good plan. I’ll sit and be cute, and say nice things. She’ll like us both that way.” He made a giggly, humming sound.
She kissed that spot again and went through the rubbing-it-dry routine once more. “That’s a much better plan than what I had in mind.”
“Which was?”
She blew out. “To tell her to keep out of it since she’s the one that left him, and I’d take care of the whole thing. I figured maybe some of his old friends might want to have a small memorial—a get-together kind of thing. And then I’ll have him cremated. While I’m there, I’ll try to get those same people to help me empty out as much of the house as possible.”
“Maybe we should take Zach along—he’s a big guy and can lift lots of stuff,” he suggested.
“I don’t wanna make your dad be alone for Christmas,” she said, frowning.
“Let’s bring it up at dinner tonight and see what they say. I’m sure they’ll want to help as much as they can.”
That thought was baffling to her. A family that helped each other out?
Why would they want to deal with mountain-loads of crap that even she didn’t want to face? She was related to the deceased collector of odd items, and she was dreading it.
“Trust us—we’re your family now.” He searched her face.
Her breath was trapped in her throat, but she was able to say, “I already love this family more than the one I was born into.”
“It is pretty great,” he said, cocking his head and nodding.
The car stopped. They were already at her mom’s.
“Now we wait.” She exhaled with a feeling of defeat, weighing her down.
“Or not,” he said.
Her mom’s Jeep pulled up next to them.
“Looks like she already knows,” he said, pointing discreetly over at her crying mother.
“Perfect—emotional Mom is not good. She’s even worse to talk to when she’s sad. She makes almost no sense at all.” Mari moved to open the car door but stopped. “Adam, I know you want to stay, but this is going to be worse than I thought.”
“I’m coming,” he said and opened his car door, stepped out and was so quick, he was able to help her mother out of her car, too.
Before her mom was standing completely erect, he wrapped her up in a hug. She almost collapsed as she exploded in tears and incoherent words. Her hair clung in wet clumps to her skin, snot ran down her face and her eyes were wild as she clung to his jacket.
She looked anything but motherly.
“And Will . . . What then? Huh, Adam? . . . What was I supposed to do then? . . . I had no shoes, no money, and I left . . . But he was . . . The greenery there was pretty but wet all the time! He wanted me to . . . But I couldn’t live there,” her mom babbled.
He scooped the older woman up, carried her toward the house and motioned for Mari to get her mom’s keys out and open the front door.
Mari was fast. Adam struggled under the weight of her mom, but there was nothing but smiles and understanding nods from him.
He set her down on the couch and sat right next to her, hugging her into his side.
“What can I do to help you, Michelle?” he asked her.
“Nothing,” she sobbed, her head on his shoulder. “I . . . Nothing.”
“Well, I can love you, because you’re my mother now. Mine’s gone, and since Mari and I plan to get married, I’ll take care of you the same way I do Mari. We’re family. I told Mari that,” he said with a shuddering sigh.
A look of comfort came over her mom, and her erratic breathing evened out some.
Mari stood there gaping, while love for this man washed over her so completely, all she could think about was how it had to be an illusion. No man was this loving.
“I like that a lot. Do you like being in a family
with Mari and me?” Adam asked her mom.
Mari took a sharp stuttering breath. Oh no. This was gonna be bad! She wanted to look away, to grab him and run before her mom said some obnoxious, cruel comment.
“I do. I miss her living here with me,” her mom admitted.
Mari sank to the floor in front of them and could only watch his magic unfold in the room before her.
“That’s great, because we miss you, too. I know Mari really does a lot. It’s not the same when a mom’s gone.” He paused and smiled like a warm memory was washing over him. “It’s like our families were two puzzle pieces meant to come together. I needed Mari, she needed me. I had a dad, she had a mom. We make a good complete picture now, don’t you think?”
“I do,” Mari chimed in.
Adam beamed at her.
“I suppose,” her mom said, her eyes bloodshot and her jaw hanging slack.
“Mari and I will take care of anything you want for the funeral. We’re gonna fly up and empty out the house, too. Do you think there’s anything in there you’d like to keep? We can bring back the stuff for you that you want,” he said, watching her mom intently.
His tone was so warm and inviting—like a blanket Mari wanted to climb into with him forever and never let go of. Her mom had the same serene look on her face that Mari was positive she was wearing herself.
“Okay,” her mom said, her breath breaking as the tears finally slowed to almost nonexistent.
“What were you thinking about for a service?” he asked her.
“I wasn’t. I can’t do this . . . So . . .” Her mom peered up into Adam’s eyes with her head still on his shoulder. “Anything you want, Adam. I trust you—I can tell you’ll do right by Mari and this family.”
He smiled and petted her hair. “I will. I’ll always think of this family first before anything else. And I’m so glad I got to meet Will, even though it was briefly. I’ll have a nice memory of him smiling at me and even being a little nice when I showed up and he wasn’t expecting me. Mari said he never let anybody into his house, so I’m honored he let me in when I was a stranger.”
“I can see why he did. You have a way of charming people until they’re blinded by you.” Her mom raised her head off him, wiped the last of the tears away, took a deep breath and straightened up her spine.
“You hungry, Mom? You want us to stay, and I can fix something for dinner?” Mari asked.
“I’m not in the mood for a salad with no sugar in the dressing,” her mom said with a growly-edge to her voice.
“I eat sugar now, so I’ll make anything you want,” Mari replied steadily.
Her mother’s eyes widened a bit, then she looked at Adam. “My word—now I really trust you. You did that with my daughter? You got her to stop fixating on every little morsel of food that passes those lips of hers and quit worrying about her weight?”
“No. I can’t take credit. That was all Mari.” He patted her knee, stood up, then walked over to Mari and helped her up to standing.
“It was not. He made me see some issues I hadn’t noticed before,” Mari said. “So, how about it? Dinner?”
“Yeah. Mexican, like when we used to eat together. You can order out, and I’ll pay for it.” Her mom slouched, but looked relieved.
“Tamales?” Mari grinned.
“Tamales,” her mom agreed. She got up, hugged them both and headed back to her bedroom. Probably to have a little time alone.
Mari and Adam went about getting some food for their little family dinner, calling his dad to explain where they were and that they would be home later.
By the time they finished eating, her mom was smiling and laughing, recounting stories about their family from when Mari was little.
Her dad had been quite the prankster, keeping her mom on her toes—often.
Apparently, Mari had been a daddy’s girl, following him around the house anytime he was home. She had even liked to shave with him, so her mom had bought her an old-fashioned shaver, took the razor out, and Will would foam up her face like his and they’d shave their chins, jaws and upper lips together, side by side.
“There’s a picture of that somewhere in his piles. I’d love to have it,” her mom said.
“I’ll find it. I promise.” Adam gave her a hopeful look.
Mari nudged his leg under the table and gave him a “be realistic!” look.
He only smiled back with confidence.
“All right, you two. You need to get home. Tell your dad I’m sorry for being such a pain in the ass. I won’t cause any more headaches,” her mom promised.
She hugged them both and walked them to the front door, asking them to please come visit her after the funeral.
Mari tried to convince her one last time to attend, but her mother refused, citing it would be too painful and she had to stay here in Phoenix.
Michelle Cole, his long-time ex-wife, would have her own little vigil to honor him.
When Mari and Adam were in the car driving home, he blurted, “I knew I loved your mom. I just needed to find her spirit first. She was hiding it.”
“And you dug hers out, like you did to mine. It’s a talent no one else possesses except you.”
“It’s why you love me,” he said, his smile radiating giddiness.
“It is, you crazy man. Let’s get home, talk to your dad and brother and go to bed. I wanna cuddle with you all night long.”
He tapped her leg and said, “Only if you leave the pajama bottoms off.”
She chuckled. “I think that was a given when you hugged my mom and turned her into a human. I need to repay you somehow, and since I’m all out of donuts and sodas—physical pleasure it is.”
“Yesss!” he exclaimed and drove a little faster, even going up to ten miles over the speed limit.
Oh, how she adored this man more than anything.
Chapter 10
“Merry Christmas!” Zach cheered, handing Mari a small little wrapped box.
She had tears in her eyes from the moment she woke up to Dustin’s special triangle pancakes that he swore were impressive Christmas tree shapes.
She pretended to agree they were exactly what Dustin professed them to be. It was fine, though, because they tasted amazing. He made them from scratch and with whole wheat flour just for her, rather than the white flour ones he usually made each year.
The syrup was strawberry and homemade. He woke earlier than usual to make this little feast for them. It was heartwarming and belly-filling—an incredible way to start their fake Christmas day.
“Zach . . . No gifts. I told you I could only afford to get something for Adam,” she complained, but smiled the whole time she said it.
He had to be the best brother in the world—so deeply caring.
“It’s not a big deal,” Zach said. “Open it and you’ll see.”
She sucked in her bottom lip and braced herself. It was fun to rattle the box like a kid before flipping open the lid.
“C’mon already! You’re killing me here—no more suspense.” Zach groaned, then chuckled.
“Such a party pooper,” she said and pushed off the lid. Inside was a thumb drive. Her brows pressed together in confusion. “Uh . . . Thanks.” She no longer owned a laptop. She shared Adam’s.
“It’s music. All the remixes Adam ever made me—I put those on there for you so you can put them on his laptop and then on your phone. Some of them will blow you away.”
She leaped at him, tackling him with a hug. “Thank you! I love the songs he already shared with me. This is wonderful! I’ll listen to them when we’re cleaning my dad’s house.”
“You mean we’ll alllll listen to them. You forget our whole family is coming?” Zach reminded her.
“I think my brain hasn’t quite accepted it yet,” she said, glancing down at the simple but astounding gift he’d given her. It was more thoughtful than she could express.
“Me, now! Me!” Adam said, shoving his slightly smaller box at her.
“
I thought we all took turns. Isn’t it my turn to give a gift to you?” Mari asked.
“No! Me! Open mine!” He hopped around on his seat.
“I don’t know how much more kindness I can take for a morning,” she teased as she took her time opening this one.
“Let me help you . . . You’ve gotta rip it, Mari,” he said, taking a big chunk of the paper off for her.
She thanked him, and they opened it the rest of the way.
A paper was neatly folded inside, and her mouth popped open in surprise. “Is this what I think it is?” Musical notes dotted the lined paper.
“Uh huh,” he said, beaming, his voice filled with its own kind of joyful music. “I’m gonna play it for you right now.” He got up and ran out of the room. She looked over at Zach and his dad with accusing eyes. They both smirked and looked away.
Adam returned with a little keyboard in his hands. “I wanted to practice more, so it’s not as pretty as I’d like, but you can hear the melody and know what it means.” He turned it on and set his hands in their starting spot. “I hope you like it.”
She settled into her spot, her hands between her legs, and stared with rapt attention.
The beginning was kind of loud and a bit clunky, but she recognized he’d taken one of her favorite Pearl Jam songs—actually it was one they both enjoyed—and he’d remixed it with some other song she’d heard him humming whenever he was trying to fight off the numbers.
By the end, it was all his own original tune, and that part he played with more finesse and confidence.
He bobbed his head in time with the music, and when he played the last note, he released an, “Ahhhhh. Just. Like. That.”
They all clapped, and he took a mini bow when he stood up. He left to return the keyboard to wherever it came from.
When he rejoined them, he was instantly almost in her lap, whispering in her ear. “Did it make you smile?”
“It did. Didn’t you see how my jaw broke because I was smiling so big?” she asked, rubbing his knee with her palm.
Harkham's Choice (Harkham's Series Book 2) Page 13