by S. L. Scott
Kurt’s words are mumbled, my hearing going in and out. My head pounds from the impact, and I stay hunched over. My back . . .
Lifting my hands, glass stabs into my palms and blood runs down my wrists. He might have finally broken me into pieces like the slivers of mirror surrounding me.
I hurt everywhere, but he hasn’t broken my will to survive. I’ll never give him the satisfaction. Kicking me to the side with his foot, he says, “Get up, Winter. Get up.”
His voice becomes clearer, his hateful words taking me back to when I first arrived in Paris. He wanted vengeance. I thought it was against his enemies, but it wasn’t. It was against me.
I’m the only woman who ever left him. Though he filled me with shame, I still walked away. I left because I knew my deeds were never dirtier than the emotions he felt for me. The devil craves fire, and I was his flame.
He could never predict that his inflicted pain would make me stronger. I’m not a flicker that will burn out. I’m the ember that rises from the ashes.
He plays rough.
He plays to win.
He plays for entertainment.
I look up at him, the man who claimed at one time to love me. He never hurt me until I was gone, until I was no longer his. I’ve choked on Kurt’s hate, and then I tasted Bennett’s love. I’ll fight for love. I’ll fight to win. “You won’t kill me.” There are no doubts. None. Bennett loves me. I know that with all my heart, so I’ll fight.
“Yeah? Who says?” Kurt squats down and pats my head. “Who says, little girl.”
Fight.
“Me.” Snatching a piece of broken glass, I swing, cutting him across the neck, and then kick him away from me. Using the sink, I pull myself up but slip on the glass. I land hard with the corner of the porcelain jabbing into my stomach but catch myself before I fall. He roars and reaches for me, taking hold of my ankle and tugging.
One swift kick to the face with my free foot sends him rolling back again. I push off and run for the door despite the glass biting into my skin.
Bennett’s smile, laugh, love—I fight for me, for my happiness. I fight for him.
“Help!”
Yanked backward by my hair into Kurt’s arms, his hand covers my mouth while he holds a gun to my head. “What did I tell you about my property? No one touches what’s mine in life or death.”
Victor stands, flicking his eyes nervously between Kurt and myself, his shaking hands aiming a gun at me. The door across the hall swings open, and Lars and Bennett rush to a halt. Tears swell in my eyes as I stare into Bennett’s. I close them, hoping to always hold on to the warmth his bring, letting his love wash over me.
“I’ll kill her.” Kurt’s voice tremors for the first time ever. There’s no way out, and he intends to take me down with him. My mind races as he moves into the hall, forcing me with him. “Keep your hands visible and stay back. If I die, she dies.”
Bennett raises his hands, but his eyes never leave mine. I love you spoken freely between us, the sweet words silently shared over and over.
My feet slip, and his grip tightens around me, leaving bloody footprints in our wake. He’s losing a lot of blood. Good.
Oh, God! Is it mine?
And then things seem to go in slow motion.
I’m pulled back as the metal shakes against my temple.
Such a big man when he’s in control and a coward when he’s not.
Hospital security runs down the hall but stops behind Victor.
One uses his radio, but the feedback makes it indecipherable.
I hear Bennett’s growl. “I’ll make sure you die a gruesome fucking death, McCoy.”
I love you, Bennett Everest.
“You have to catch me first.” Not brave words. Words of a fool.
And then everything speeds up again. When they’re out of sight, I’m swung around, and with the gun still pressed to my head, he says, “Run.”
I have two choices: Run and be shot by this maniac or fight for my life.
Strike
With all my might, I’m swift with my arm, swinging it forward and jabbing my elbow back.
Fall
Kurt stumbles. I turn around with the glass still piercing my hands and shove him as hard as I can.
Protect
Shots fire, and I duck, pieces of the ceiling falling around me. I shield my head and run for cover.
Defend
Kurt rushes me, slamming into the door before I can open it. “We’ll die together.”
Time slows as the gun rises, our eyes locked on an eternity I refuse to live with this man. I take my last shot at living this life. Leaning in, I kiss his cheek to surprise him and grab the gun. “Not today. Not ever!” I drop to my knees and lean back with the gun pointed at his face.
“Ma princesse ténébreuse.”
“The tables have turned.”
37
Winter
Kisses cover my palm, and I open my eyes with a smile on my face even before I see who it is. I don’t need to see Bennett because I feel him—the kisses and his love all over me—with me while I slept. “Why are you so sweet to me?”
He stares at me with half a smile and then gets up from the side of the bed and hugs me. I wrap my arms around his head and hold him. The attack, the almost being killed part of our evening, and the stress he must have felt when I was taken in New York are all taking a toll on him. The weight of his pain comes to rest on me, and I welcome it wholeheartedly if I can make my giant happy again.
When he tries to speak, he’s too choked up and tucks his head into the nook of my neck. “Hey, look at me.” Making eye contact, I see the shine in his eyes, and ask, “Are you okay, babe?”
“Are you is the question I should be asking.”
“I am now.” I caress his face with my bandaged hands. “Everything’s going to be okay. Have you been here all night?”
“Where else would I be?” He leans his forehead against mine. “Don’t scare me like that again, okay, Rambo?”
The concussion Kurt caused was diagnosed as mild. I’m fortunate I didn’t have more damage. I survived. I’ll also survive a few little cuts and a mild concussion. “Tell me about it.” I giggle, but that hurts the ribs on my backside, so I stop. That concern lingers in his eyes, so I smirk, and try for a joke. “Don’t worry. I’m pretty okay.”
He takes a deep breath while taking me in, then a chuckle follows. “What am I going to do with you?”
“Give me another chance?”
“Another chance? You’ve had me since the moment we met. I’m not getting rid of you, and there’s no way in hell you’re getting rid of me.”
I look down, pulling at a loose thread on the blanket’s edge. I can’t play coy around him though. He has me wrapped around that big pinkie of his. “I’ve made a lot of bad decisions in my life, but you’re the best decision I’ve made yet.”
“Who’s the charmer, now?”
“You. Always you.”
“Nah. I have plenty of flaws.”
“Like what?” I ask.
He kisses my hand before his confession. “Sometimes I leave the toilet seat up, but sometimes I remember what my mama taught me and put it down.”
“Ugh. That’s all you got?” I roll my eyes and laugh. “Humor me. What else?”
“I don’t always use a chip clip before shoving the bag back in the pantry. And my brothers used to steal my fries, so they’re sacred to me now.”
“Your brothers or the fries.”
“Ha! The fries,” he jokes.
“You were willing to share with me.”
“I’ll let you have anything you want, sweetheart.”
My cheeks feel hot, so I push down the covers on one side of my body. No relief. It’s official. It’s him. I adore him.
“What about your flaws? Got any?” he asks.
“Plenty. I brush my teeth four to five times a day.”
“Is that really a flaw? C’mon. Give me something good.”
“Nooooo,” he says sarcastically. “You rebel. Why do you think you do that?”
“If something happens to me before I read the whole book, I know where the characters are left in life. Hopefully, in their happily ever after.” Pushing past the embarrassment, I add, “I also only read stories with a happily ever after, so there is that.”
“Why do you only read happy endings?”
I take his hand and hold it on my lap. “Seems like a good way to go.”
“You’re not going anywhere if I have a say.”
“Have I told you how much I love you?”
“Say it again.”
“I love you, movie star.”
Leaning down, he kisses my head. “Now that’s the best confession of all. I love you, ma chérie.”
* * *
“Bennett?”
My breathing comes staggered, regulated by fear. My heart races, and I try to get my bearings. The curtains aren’t heavy enough to keep out the daylight. It slips through the crack of the blinds.
Clean lines.
Warm browns.
Home.
My love runs into the room, concern written all over his face. “What’s wrong?”
I’m not sure how to answer. I used to be a lot more stubborn, feisty even. I’ve learned that I don’t have to have my guard up at all times. I’m safe to lower my walls and let in loved ones.
Loved ones.
Loved one.
Bennett.
He comes to the side of the bed while I try to catch my breath. Sitting down with a sigh, he rubs my shoulder and leans in to kiss it before asking, “Another nightmare?”
“Yes.” Another nightmare. The last week has turned my life upside down, more than it was already. Although we’re back in Manhattan, my days and nights have been filled with visions of what happened. I can still feel the cold gun pressed to my head. I can smell the Scotch on Kurt’s breath. I can see the blood that once covered my body. I keep experiencing the sensation that I can’t get away, that I’m slipping on glass and blood. I hate it. I hate him.
I have another appointment scheduled to talk to somebody, somebody who didn’t live through it, somebody who can hear my story and hopefully help me move past it one day.
There’s still unfinished business that lingers like a wet shroud, a trial, blackness trying to snuff out our light. I was once a dark princess. I blamed myself for everything that happened, for causing a chain of events I attribute to wanting my father’s approval. Through the pain and suffering I caused others, that I’ve caused myself, I’m finally ready to take responsibility for my part but not for the aftermath.
I look up at the man, a bright knight in shining armor, a giant in size and heart, a movie star in my sky, and I can’t help but want for this to be over for him, for me, and for us. So I sit up and crawl into his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. I don’t lean my head on his shoulder. Instead, I look him straight in the eyes. “You made me a steak salad.”
“Huh?” His nose crinkles in confusion, but I much prefer the smile that accompanies it to the concern that was there.
“The night we were attacked at your apartment, and we had to leave. You made me a carb-free dinner.”
He laughs. “You caught that?”
“I did. I’m sorry we didn’t get to eat it. It looked really good.”
“Stop apologizing. You didn’t mess up our dinner plans. You just made them a little more exciting.”
I kiss those delectable lips and then whisper against them, “You made an effort for me. I’ve never had anyone care that much before.”
“You’re making me feel guilty.”
Surprised, I tilt my head. “Why do you feel guilty?”
“Because it wasn’t entirely for you. The meal was, but dessert . . . I bought brownies, and they’re full of carbs, in hopes that you’d let me eat them off you.”
Giggling, I raise an eyebrow. “You want to eat brownies off me? Isn’t that a bit crumbly?”
“Mixed with whipped cream and . . . fuck. I’m getting hard.”
“Who knew brownies were the way to your—” I clear my throat, feeling him harden beneath me. “Heart.”
Kissing me below my ear, he knows the way to my . . . heart, too. “It’s not the brownies getting me hard, sweetheart.” Running a finger along the top of my breasts, he elicits a moan from deep within, making me crave more.
“Can we just stay here all day and ignore the rest of the world?”
“I wish we could.”
The troubles of the world sneak back in to burst our bubble, and I rest my head on his shoulder. “How long until we leave?”
“Just over an hour.”
“I guess I should get ready,” I say, though I don’t move a muscle. I want to stay here all day. The building may be the most secure location on earth—even more so with Ethan’s upgrade—but Bennett’s my safe place.
Standing, he doesn’t release me until my feet are firmly on the ground. That’s something I find myself doing less of lately. Bennett Everest keeps me floating on cloud nine. At one time, I was willing to do anything to save my family’s fortune, money I realize they lost a long time ago. Before Bennett, money didn’t bring anything but pain. Knowing I have him means more than having a check I can’t cash. He believes in me. He loves me—flaws and all.
Just as I’m about to slip into the bathroom, he catches my hand and twirls me back into his arms. “I’m working in the living room if you need anything.” I hate how he worries.
My sweet boyfriend can’t help it with that big heart he carries around. I kiss him, and he grabs my ass. I swat him away before we lose an hour in the shower getting dirty. “For practically being strangers, you sure are handsy.”
“You love my hands on you.”
“I do. And your face.” I could really use all of him on me and in me right now. “Do we have to go?”
He chuckles. “Yes, but once we’re home, you’re mine. All mine for the rest of the night.”
“I can’t wait.” Giggling, I start the shower and then undress, but stop and hit the button to turn the glass from clear to private. This place is decked to the nines. I love it here with him, not only because of the security but because of the family. Although I don’t share their last name, I’ve become one of them. They’ve accepted me with open arms, and that says a lot about how much they care for Bennett and his happiness.
Forgetting my hair clip on the nightstand, I open the door to the bedroom. I stop when I find him sitting on the bed, his head down, and holding my e-reader. Returning to him, I stand between his legs and lift his chin up. “What are you thinking about?”
Holding up the e-reader, he says, “You had to leave the books you love in Paris. And you haven’t been back to your apartment here. Sometimes I wonder if you’re happy. If you’re really okay. With me.” He always checks on me. I don’t think I could sneeze right now without him making sure I don’t need a visit to urgent care. It’s wholly unexpected and has stolen my heart in the best of ways.
This is love. This is what love is made of. Love is Bennett.
“My books weren’t collectibles, but novels I loved. I can buy more. Don’t worry about me. I’m happy. Everything in Paris was just stuff. I brought what matters most back to New York. You. You make me happy. You make me feel safe.”
His arms come around me, and he pulls me in to kiss my belly. “We can thank my brother for the security.”
“I meant my heart, my soul, my well-being is safe in your arms. I’m spoiled
.”
“And I plan to spoil you rotten.”
“Like you.” I laugh.
“Yes, just like me.” He stands, kissing my head. “Go shower. I have work to do and then I think we should pay your place a visit.”
My whole body sighs under the weight of that thought. I’ve put it off, but he’s right. “All right, but I don’t want to stay long. I love it here and now that it’s more secure than ever, thanks to Ethan, I want to come back and cuddle for a while.”
“I’ll make sure to tell him how much we appreciate it, but Ethan lives for the security stuff. So figuring out how to lock down the building was a challenge he got to geek out on and get done in record time. His brain works in crazy ways.”
I linger in the doorway to the bathroom. “I can’t say I’m not impressed. Not only are the windows coated in mesh made from some kind of extraterrestrial technology,” I tease, “but the steel panels installed mean business. Yep, I must say you Everests are impressive.”
“We Everests?” he challenges with a look that begs to play.
I don’t want to be late, though, so I feed the ego. “You, babe. You are impressive.”
“I thought that’s what you meant.” He chuckles as he leaves the room, but I hear him in the hall as he walks away. “Fifty-four minutes. Shake that sweet ass, sweetheart.”
This apartment was the first finished and Bennett included me when we could move back in as if I’d always lived there. Ally and Hutton’s place is supposed to be done today. It will take a couple of weeks to finish making the security adjustments to the penthouse. They’re staying in safe locations until the apartments are cleared for them to move back in. Every pane of glass on the top two floors will have a steel panel that slides down when something gets within twenty feet of the building up here.
I pray it never comes to that, but I feel positive about healing the wounds that caused my claustrophobia. I just chalk it up to go along with all the other damage Kurt caused and make sure I’m not only honest with myself about where to place the blame but to talk truthfully with Bennett and my therapist when those fears arise.