by Donna Alward
It was honest but damn, it smarted. “Right. Well, anyway, I’m going to pop in and see Carrie and Duke for a bit. Don’t wait up. Just leave the porch light on when you go to bed.”
She sent him the most platonic, impersonal smile she could before turning the knob and pulling the door open. She closed it behind her with a soft click, inhaled the cold air deeply into her lungs.
The ground was hard under her feet as she made her way to the bunkhouse, which now served as Duke and Carrie’s home. It was a small two-bedroom bungalow, big enough for the two of them, or even the three of them once the baby came. She knew Duke had plans to build a piece on as their family grew. She’d asked him once about moving into the big house since he and Carrie were planning kids, but they’d both agreed they liked where they were. Or so they said.
Carrie answered the door, a smile blossoming on her face when she saw Lacey standing there. “We were just talking about you!” she exclaimed, standing aside so Lacey could enter. “Duke was saying you were going to take a look at the books.”
Lacey almost wished she hadn’t said yes to Kailey’s job offer, because then she wouldn’t have asked about Crooked Valley and she could have gone on with her original plans. Funny how one thing could change everything...
Kind of like Quinn’s kiss.
She put that to the back of her mind and smiled at her sister-in-law. Carrie wasn’t really showing yet, though Lacey noticed she was wearing leggings and a baggy sweatshirt. Her waistbands were probably getting a little tight now that she was at the end of her first trimester.
Lacey would not be jealous. She would not be bitter. She would not.
“Is Duke around? I wanted to talk to you guys about something.”
“Sure. We were just watching some TV, but it’s nothing we’re too interested in. Do you want some tea or anything?”
“I’m okay.”
“Hey, is that Lace?” Duke’s voice echoed from the living room.
“Yeah, it’s me,” she called back. Grinning, she toed off her boots and hung her jacket on a hook behind the door. “On second thought, Carrie, do you have anything stronger than tea?”
Carrie chuckled. “Not much. There might be a beer in the fridge.”
“That works for me. I could stand to kick back for a bit.”
The house was warm and cozy, Carrie’s feminine touches evident in the decor. Duke was sitting on the sofa, the cushion next to him vacant except for a light blanket. They’d been cuddling in front of the television, and Lacey thought that was lovely.
“You,” she accused, right off the bat, “are a sneaky devil.”
He feigned an innocent look. “What did I do?”
She plopped down on a side chair. “You knew, didn’t you? You knew that once I got here, I’d get roped into this place.”
“Really?” He looked so hopeful she nearly laughed. Instead she let out a grudging sigh.
“Yes, really.” Carrie came back with her drink. “Thanks, Carrie,” she said, taking the bottle into her hands. “Anyway, I want to run some hypotheticals past you. Maybe there’s a way we can find some middle ground so we both get what we want.”
Duke sat up a bit. “I’m intrigued.”
“Me, too,” Carrie said, resuming her seat beside Duke.
Lacey wasn’t entirely sure where to begin. “I’m just figuring this out, so don’t assume too much, okay? What I need tonight is a sounding board.”
“Okay,” they both agreed, then looked at each other and smiled.
It made Lacey lonely, seeing that level of togetherness. She took a sip of her drink and licked her lips, searching for the right words to start. In the end, it came down to a simple truth.
“I don’t want you to lose Crooked Valley.”
“That’s good to know,” Duke responded, and Lacey blew out a breath.
“I think it’s stupid, the way Granddad split this up, but there’s nothing we can do about it. I don’t want to be the cause of you losing it, Duke. You and Carrie love it here, and you’re making your life here. I’m thinking there has to be a way for me to work the conditions in my favor, so the ranch doesn’t get put up for sale and I don’t have to wade my way through this place with mud on my boots.” She looked over at Carrie and smiled. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that, if it’s your thing.”
Carrie smiled back.
“Do you have any ideas?”
She nodded. “I think we need to have a lawyer take a good look at the will, for one thing. It will tell us how involved I have to be to meet conditions. I can’t believe Granddad would expect me to be a rancher. I’m not even that comfortable around horses. But I’m good with numbers and computers. If being the ranch bookkeeper satisfies the terms, I’d be willing to stay on in that capacity. I think I could help Crooked Valley streamline some of the costs, and take advantage of a few tax breaks that I’m not sure Joe even knew about. It might give you some financial breathing room, especially as things need to be repaired and you’re expanding your family.”
Duke’s brows lifted. “Lacey, that’s great! I’d love that, I really would.”
“I’m already doing some of the bookkeeping for Kailey’s family, and I could do ours even if I got a full-time job somewhere close. Which brings me to the next bit.”
“There’s more?”
This was actually harder, she realized. She’d come to love the big house, the spacious kitchen, cozy fireplace, big bedrooms. “There’s the question of where I’ll live.”
Duke’s gaze held hers. “We’re happy here. You should stay in the house.”
But Lacey shook her head. “Duke, it’s too big for just me. I mean, Quinn and Amber are there now, but that’s not exactly a comfortable situation and they’ll be going back to their own place when their house is ready. Besides, what if I find a job in the city or something? It’s a long commute from here. Even finding a place on the other side of Gibson would cut fifteen or twenty minutes off my commute each way. You and Carrie should have the house. It’s meant to be filled with kids and laughter and toys and family.”
It hurt to say that last bit, even though it was true.
Duke’s face softened, his eyes filled with understanding. “Lacey, I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but you’ll have that someday. Just because things didn’t work out with Carter...”
“No, I won’t,” she answered firmly. Perhaps it was time to stop dancing around the subject. “Duke, you had to adjust to losing your hearing in one ear. It wasn’t just the hearing, it was how it affected your life in the military. Your decisions that came afterwards. That was tough, right?”
“You know it was,” he agreed. “I have to make adjustments all the time.”
“And it won’t ever be better, not even someday.”
Carrie leaned forward. “What are you trying to say, Lacey?”
“The real reason Carter left...why things fell apart is because I can’t have children. When I couldn’t get pregnant, the doctors discovered endometriosis. We tried a few different things, but in the end I had a hysterectomy. I’ll never fill the big house with kids, you see. It should be you.”
Duke’s mouth had fallen open while Carrie’s face drooped with dismay. “Oh, Lacey, I’m so sorry.” Her cheeks pinkened. “It must be so hard for you when I...” Awkward silence filled the room.
“I don’t begrudge you one ounce of your happiness,” Lacey whispered, her voice hoarse. “It’s hard sometimes, but I’m really trying to move on. I don’t want you guys to lose this place, and I’ll help you keep it, but I have to take charge of my own life. Make my own decisions. So if I take on some of the office and administrative duties works, and if I can live off-site, we might be able to give this a go.”
There were a few beats of silence before Duke asked, “What does Quinn think a
bout this?”
Just the mention of his name made her muscles tense, in good ways and bad. “It’s not up to Quinn. I know he’s your manager, but the terms of the will and the ownership of the ranch is really about us.”
“I value his opinion, Lacey. He’s been doing this a lot longer than me.”
She was rather tired of Quinn being held up as this paragon of perfection. It seemed like he could do no wrong. Perfect at his job, perfect dad, perfect husband. It was an impossible standard to live up to.
“Quinn is more than happy to pass on the accounting, that I can tell you for sure. As far as the rest goes, I know for a fact that what he really cares about is Crooked Valley and making sure he still has a job. This will take care of that. Or at least I hope it will.” Quinn would be able to move back to his house, keep his job, support himself and Amber. Have the life he wanted to have.
Except he’d rather have it with Marie. His wife. Despite the kiss today, Lacey knew one thing for sure. Quinn was a long way from being over the woman he’d loved. After feeling like such a failure with Carter, Lacey wasn’t interested in trying to compete. Quinn wasn’t the only perfect one in that relationship and there was no way Lacey wanted to try to live up to Marie’s memory.
She needed to find a job and a new place to live. Like, yesterday.
“I’ll call the lawyer first thing in the morning, so we can iron out particulars. Then it’s just a matter of getting Rylan onboard.”
Lacey gave a wry chuckle. “Rylan, with his wandering feet? Good luck. He’s not the settling down type.”
“I never thought I was, either. Until I landed here. I think Granddad knew what he was doing more than we gave him credit for.”
Lacey pondered that for a moment. “Do you think we would have stayed here if Dad hadn’t died?” Those days were a hazy memory for her; she’d been very young when their father had been killed in action. The ranch life hadn’t been for their mom, Helen, and she’d moved into the city where she could work and provide for them all.
Duke shrugged. “Who knows? Does it matter? We’re here now. And I, for one, am glad to be connecting with my family again.”
“Even Mom and David?” It was no secret that Duke hadn’t been a big fan of their mother remarrying.
“Even David. He ended up being a decent guy at Christmas. He makes her happy.”
Lacey’s eyes misted over. “Wow. Kudos to you, Carrie. Love has made this big lump into a bit of a marshmallow.”
“What can I say?” Carrie replied, taking Duke’s hand in hers. “He did the same for me. And someone is out there for you, too. I really believe that. The kids thing doesn’t have to be a deal breaker.”
“I’m afraid it does,” Lacey answered, her voice suddenly brittle. “At least to some people.”
“Then he didn’t deserve you,” Duke decreed. “You need a better man. Someone like...”
“Don’t even think about saying it.” She was terrified he would try to set her up or even worse, that Quinn was the name sitting on his tongue.
Duke just laughed. “Okay. Fair enough. Lacey, I’m really glad you came over. Glad you’re willing to give this a shot. Thank you. I mean it.”
She took another long drink of her beer and relaxed back into the cushions. “Honestly? Gibson isn’t such a bad town. The people are nice. And now I have family here. Despite the employment situation, I could have landed in worse places.”
Carrie laughed. “I had to convince Duke of that, too.”
Lacey turned the bottle around in her hands. “Just one thing, though. Don’t mention any of this to Quinn, okay?”
“Why?” Duke frowned, his brows pulling together. “I thought you said he was onboard with you doing the accounting?”
“He is. It’s just...complicated. We don’t see eye to eye on a lot of stuff. I’d rather just not get into it until I know for sure what I’m doing, you know?”
Carrie and Duke shared a look that Lacey couldn’t quite interpret, but she could tell they were hesitating. “Look, it’s been challenging being roomies, okay? I came to you because you’re my brother. I need to figure this all out without Quinn putting in his two cents.”
“And you think he would?”
She nodded quickly. “Oh, I know he would. He has opinions about everything I do.”
She saw Carrie give Duke’s hand a squeeze, and the topic was miraculously dropped. Instead, Carrie changed the subject to the benefit. “Speaking of, how are things coming along for the dance at the Silver Dollar? Kailey said you’d taken on getting some items for a raffle.”
The conversation turned to planning the event and the three of them stayed up far later than was wise, but Lacey left with a full heart. Somehow, in the space of a few weeks, Crooked Valley had started to feel like a home. And she knew it had little to do with location and a lot more to do with family and acceptance. Maybe Granddad had known that all along, too.
Maybe Joe Duggan had been smarter than any of them had given him credit for.
Chapter Nine
As resolved as Lacey was to keep her distance and perspective where Quinn was concerned, she wasn’t so good at it when it came to Amber. The girl was just too cute, even when she got frustrated with writing the names on her Valentines and put down her pencil in disgust. They took a break and chatted about what kind of cookies Amber wanted for her class party. Quinn might puff and bluster about Lacey usurping Marie’s place, but Lacey wasn’t about to deny Amber a few cookies for her first Valentine’s Day party. Quinn certainly didn’t have time for it and grabbing ones from the grocery store just wasn’t the same.
During the day, though, she worked in Quinn’s office when he was in the barns, converting the accounts over to the new program. She spent one morning at the Brandt ranch, and met with two other prospective clients in town. Her full-time inquiries garnered two new interview appointments. Maybe the argument with Quinn was exactly the kick in the pants she’d needed to really find her gumption. Up until then she’d just been going through the motions.
Signs had gone up around town, advertising the Valentine’s Day event, with no mention of the proceeds going to the Solomons. It amazed Lacey that the secret hadn’t got out and back to Quinn, but he seemed to know nothing about it. The biggest challenge, it seemed, was going to be actually getting him to go. That bit was Kailey’s job, a detail for which Lacey was grateful to have been spared.
February 13th rolled around and Amber and Lacey spent the afternoon making tiny heart-shaped chocolate shortbreads. As the cookies cooled, they decorated them with pink icing and left them to set a bit before packing them in cookie tins for the next day’s event.
Lacey looked around the messy kitchen and realized it was going to be harder than she expected, leaving this house. It felt like a house should feel—warm and welcoming. Of course that could all change when Quinn and Amber left again. It wasn’t really made for one person. If she moved out, and Quinn went back home, the big house would be empty again.
“There,” she said, dusting her hands off on her apron. “That’s the last pan in the oven. And there are extra. What do you say, should we taste test?”
“Yes!” Amber bounced up and down on her toes, then looked at Lacey speculatively. “How many extra?”
Lacey burst out laughing. “Enough for you to have two and no more or you’ll ruin your supper.”
“Okay.” Amber made a close examination of the cookies and plucked two off the rack. Lacey expected her to pop the cookies in her mouth but instead she hopped off the stool, came around the counter and handed them to Lacey. “These ones are yours,” she stated, then popped back around to choose her own.
“Thanks,” Lacey said, and waited until Amber was ready, then they took their first bites together.
Crumbs flaked away from the buttery cookie onto the floor.
“Yummy,” Amber said, breaking into a crumb-and-frosting smile. She licked her lips and looked at Lacey with pure adoration. “Lacey, I wish you were my mama.”
The innocent words were a shock to Lacey’s heart. A yearning so powerful, so pure, enveloped her and for a fleeting moment, she wished it, too. But being Amber’s mom would mean being Quinn’s wife and that simply wasn’t going to happen. “Oh, honey,” she murmured, and went over and put her arm around the little girl. “That is such a sweet thing to say. I can’t be your mama, but I’ll always be your friend, okay?”
“But why can’t you be my mama?” Amber peered up at her with curious eyes. “You already do what mamas do. You wash my clothes and do all the cooking and tidy the house and make Valentimes cookies and you love me, too, right?”
Lacey sighed, so torn and yet happy, too. “I do love you. And don’t you forget it. But to be your mommy, I’d have to be married to your daddy, see?”
Amber shrugged. “So marry my daddy.” Unconcerned, she started putting decorated cookies on the bottom of the big tin.
How on earth could Lacey answer that? She was just trying to figure it out when the front door opened. Great. Just what she needed. Quinn. Instead of answering Amber, Lacey went to the sink and started piling up dishes to be washed.
Quinn entered the kitchen, the top of his hair flattened from his hat, his shoulders looking impossibly broad in a soft denim shirt. “Cookies?” he asked, looking at Amber, sparing Lacey a brief glance before smiling at his daughter.
“Lacey helped me for my party tomorrow,” Amber explained.
“I see.”
Lacey heard the strain in his voice. Remembered how he’d told her to back off trying to replace Marie. She knew she should let it go but somehow couldn’t. “Amber asked if I’d help her make cookies. It’s her first Valentine’s Day party.”
The warning was issued: don’t make a big deal out of this, I did it for your kid.
But Amber, being four, didn’t sense the undertones and picked up a cookie. “Lacey said there’s extras. Here.” She pressed it against his lips, and with a laugh he opened his mouth so she could pop it inside.