A car flashed by, a rush of air.
A girl beside him, murmuring.
‘Is that where we’re going?’ she asked.
The two-pronged tower that stood at the north end of the bridge rose out of the surrounding darkness like the horns of some huge animal, the red lights glinting, jewels embedded in the bone.
Barker nodded. ‘Yes.’
He realised that if they approached the bridge by the main road they would have to pass a manned toll-booth. Thinking it might be wiser to remain unseen, he led Glade down a curving cycle-path on to a smaller, two-lane road. They walked beneath a flyover, their footsteps echoing off the walls.
Before too long they reached a notice that said HUMBER BRIDGE COUNTRY PARK. Barker stood still, looked around. Two or three lorries, but no sign of any drivers. The wind had risen. The trees that had been planted to divide one section of the car-park from another were being thrown about in the wild air above his head, their leaves tinted yellow by the strange, dim streetlights.
They both saw the phone-box at the same time. Glade turned to him, her lips parted, her fingers lifting towards her chin. What harm could it do, he thought, now they were almost there?
‘OK,’ he said.
Inside the phone-box he gave her a handful of loose change. She dialled the number, then stared into the darkness, biting her lip. He was standing so close to her that he could smell her hair.
When the hospital answered she asked for Ward 15. Barker only heard one half of the conversation that followed: ‘How is he?’ and ‘Really? On Thursday?’ and ‘Give him my love.’ It seemed that her father was asleep, and couldn’t speak to her. While Barker waited for her to finish, he read the small framed notice above the phone. Instructions, warnings. Codes. You could call The Falklands from this lonely car-park. You could call Zaire.
‘So how is he?’ Barker asked when she had replaced the receiver.
‘He’s comfortable.’ She frowned. ‘They always say that.’
‘Anybody else you want to ring?’
She shook her head.
Outside again, they began to walk. In the absence of any cars, the fat white arrows painted on the ground looked pompous, absurd, but also faintly sinister. Behind his back, trees swirled and rustled in the wind.
‘You could have called your boyfriend,’ he said after a while.
‘I haven’t got one,’ she said, ‘not any more.’
‘Is that why you don’t wear any rings?’
‘That’s not why. And anyway, he didn’t give me any rings. He didn’t give me any jewellery at all.’ She spoke with a kind of wonder, as if she had only just realised.
‘What did he give you?’ Barker asked.
‘Tickets.’
‘Tickets?’
‘Plane tickets.’
Barker nodded, remembering. ‘To New Orleans.’
‘Once.’ Her face floated towards him through the grimy yellow light, floated somewhere below his shoulder, and she took hold of his elbow. ‘How did you know?’
It was something he couldn’t possibly have known, of course, but looking into her face, he saw that she wasn’t disconcerted, not in the slightest. Not suspicious either. Only curious. She was waiting for his answer, whatever it might be. He had the feeling that she would accept almost anything he said. Because of who he was.
‘Someone must have told me,’ he said.
She smiled, as if this was exactly the kind of answer she had expected, then she nodded and walked on.
They passed the Tourist Information Office, which was closed. Across the tarmac stood a café, also closed. Barker noticed a hand-written sign on the door: CAFÉ OPENS 10:15 A.M. The morning – it seemed so far away, beyond imagining. Glade came and stood beside him, pressed her face to the dark window.
‘They sell jam,’ she said, and laughed.
When you first step on to a suspension bridge you feel you still have some connection with the land. Gradually, though, you realise you’ve left one element for another. Earth’s gone. Suddenly there’s only air. And far below, of course, the water. Like something waiting. In the early sixties Barker used to cycle up to the Tamar Bridge at night, just him and a friend of his called Danny and a younger boy whose name he couldn’t now remember. For years, it seemed, he had watched the bridge being built; it had formed a kind of backdrop to his childhood. How thrilling, then, to be able finally to walk out to the middle, his mind sent flying by the tiny lethal bottles of Barley Wine that Danny used to steal from the off-licence. Looking west, he could see into the next county, the scattered lights of Saltash and Wearde. Along the east bank black-hulled barges would be lying in neat rows of three. To the south he could watch the water swirling round the stone columns that supported the old railway bridge, the patterns on the surface intricate and whorled, like fingerprints. He had spent hours on that bridge, always at night and always drunk, and he could still remember it shaking as the cars passed over it. There was something reassuring about the way it shook; it had reminded him of a voice reverberating through a body. This bridge was different, though. The sheer scale of it. The isolation.
To reach the bridge they had to climb a flight of wooden steps that scaled an embankment. When they were halfway up, a man appeared above them, outlined against the sky. The man was carrying a camera, and holding a small boy by the hand. Barker nodded at the man, but didn’t speak to him. At the top of the steps he turned right, past a series of huge, ridged concrete blocks. He paused, waiting for Glade to catch him up. Over his shoulder he could see the toll-booth, which, from a distance, resembled an aquarium, men moving slowly through its dingy, greenish-yellow light. As he walked on, with Glade beside him, the wind grew stronger, more deliberate, and he could feel the ground opening beneath his feet. Although the bridge weighed many thousands of tons, it felt delicate, almost fragile in the face of the great black emptiness that surrounded it. Those heavy cables stretching up towards the towers – if he looked at them for too long, he had the feeling he was falling. There was a railing, but it didn’t seem enough. You could be holding on and then it would give. He had the same feeling in dreams sometimes. In nightmares. It was all he could do not to crouch down, close his eyes. He looked at Glade. She was walking slightly ahead of him, strangely eager, as if she was on her way to something that she didn’t want to miss. He couldn’t predict her, not even from one moment to the next.
They were about a third of the way across.
One feature of the bridge that surprised him was the fact that the road was raised above the walkway. When a car passed by, his eyes were on a level with the dark blur of its tyres. He felt this might work in his favour. At first he had been worried that somebody might stop. He could imagine a well-meaning stranger leaning out of his car window and asking if they needed help. When he said no, the stranger might become suspicious. Might even report them. People are funny about people on bridges. And if the police came, of course, well, that would be the end of it. But because they were walking below the cars, and the light was going, he now thought it unlikely anyone would notice them.
It took half an hour to reach the middle. Glade was talking to herself – or she might have been singing, he couldn’t tell; he could see her lips moving, though he couldn’t hear her above the constant, muted whining of the wind. She seemed happy on the bridge. Sometimes she stopped and stared up at the huge, looped cables and her face filled with a breathless quality, a kind of awe, and he thought of how his own face must have looked a quarter of a century before.
All the way across he had been aware of the railing that stood between him and the river. He had been sizing it up, trying to determine the nature of the obstacle. In a way, he was taken aback by the absence of discouragement. He had expected something far more daunting. But there was no anti-climb paint, no barbed wire. Just a metal railing five feet high. Beyond it, a ledge or lip, no more than six inches wide. Beyond that, nothing. It seemed too easy. He stood still, thinking. The wind roared in his ears. T
he river gaped below. Was there something he had missed?
He turned round, looked both ways. No cars, no people. He took Glade by the arm.
‘We’re climbing over,’ he said. ‘Both of us.’
Her eyes moved towards the railing. ‘Over?’
He nodded.
She wasn’t sure that she could do it. Her skirt, she said. Her shoes. He would help her, he said. He would thread his fingers, make a step. Then he would lift her. He told her not to worry. He’d be there.
‘I used to climb trees when I was young,’ she said doubtfully.
‘This is the same thing,’ he said. ‘The same thing exactly.’ Glancing one way, then the other. Still no cars.
He kneeled. She placed a foot on his two hands and took hold of the railing. He caught a glimpse of the crease behind her knees, the long curve of a thigh. He almost gave up then. It would have been a kind of weakness, though. It wouldn’t have done her any good. They had reached their destination. There was nowhere else to go.
Still, he felt something collapse inside him, as if all the air had been drawn out of his body. I never want another day like this. Shaking his head, he smiled grimly. Everything he thought of now amused him. Who would he be remembered by? The man at the ticket counter? That woman on the tube? Would the Indian waiter remember him? Would anyone? His last moments lay in the hands of strangers.
A voice called out to him and he looked up. Glade was half-sitting, half-lying on the top of the railing. She clung on with her hands and knees, almost as if she was riding a horse bareback.
‘It’s windy up here,’ she said. ‘It’s very windy.’
‘I’m coming,’ he said.
He hoisted himself over the railing, feeling for the ledge with the toe of one boot. The metal was cold. He felt it bite into his fingers. The wind pushed at him with such force that he imagined, for a moment, that he was trapped in a crowd.
Then he was on the other side and reaching up for her. She slithered backwards, feet first, hair whipping into his eyes. Somehow he managed to guide her down, gather her in …
They were facing outwards now, into the dark. Their backs to the railing, their hands gripping the bars.
Wind filled his mouth each time he tried to speak.
He thought he heard a car go past. He couldn’t feel it in the metal of the bridge, though. It didn’t register. The sound of the engine blended with the wind.
If it was a car, it didn’t see them. Didn’t stop.
He tried to concentrate on the horizon, but sometimes there was a movement in the corner of his eye, a slow, blind movement, like some great creature turning in its sleep. The body of the river. Currents twisting ninety-eight feet down.
‘Are you afraid?’ he heard her say.
He looked into her face. Her pupils black, with discs of silver in the middle. Her hair blown back behind her shoulder, flattening against the pale metal of the railing. He thought of sticks washed by flood-water on to a drain and stranded there. He thought of stubborn things.
‘No,’ he said.
‘You look afraid.’
He attempted a grin. ‘What about you?’
‘No,’ she said. ‘I’m just cold, that’s all.’
Six
Boom
‘These have been anxious days,’ Raleigh Connor said, ‘anxious days for all of us.’ He paced in front of the window, his shoulders rounded, his hands pushed deep into his trouser pockets. ‘However,’ and he turned back into the room and smiled, ‘I’m delighted to be able to inform you that our troubles are over …’
Positioned at the head of the table, he seemed to be waiting for some kind of response. A spontaneous burst of applause, perhaps, or murmurs of appreciation. At the very least he must have expected to see his smile mirrored in the faces of his employees. But all Jimmy sensed was a subtle slackening of tension in the room, a kind of exhalation. He glanced at Neil and Debbie. They had been meeting in secret ever since the first threat of a leak halfway through July. They had been working sixty-hour weeks for almost two months. Quite possibly they were too exhausted to react. Still, someone had to say something.
‘That’s great news,’ Jimmy said. ‘Great news.’
But Debbie was frowning. ‘Can you give us any details?’
‘I prefer not to, Debbie.’
Connor’s voice did not invite further questioning. But this was a nuance which Debbie, as usual, failed to register.
‘You don’t think we’ve got a right to know?’ she said.
Connor’s lips tightened. ‘A right?’ he said, easing down into his chair. ‘No. This is not a matter of rights. This is a matter of what’s appropriate.’ He leaned his forearms on the table; his fingers calmly formed a pyramid. ‘All you need to know is what I’ve told you. There will be no scandal, no exposé. I’ve seen to that personally. To put it somewhat bluntly,’ and he paused, ‘we got away with it.’ His head rolled on his shoulders. His eyelids lowered a fraction as his gaze fixed on Neil Bowes. ‘Or, as your famous playwright said, “All’s well that ends well”.’
A sickly smile from Neil. No Chinese proverb, though. Not this time.
‘Obviously we won’t be resurrecting Project Secretary,’ Connor went on, turning to Jimmy. ‘It would be tempting fate. In any case, it’s my firm belief that it has already served its purpose, that of helping to establish Kwench! as a real power in the marketplace.’
Jimmy nodded in agreement.
‘Tomorrow morning,’ Connor said, ‘I’ll be holding a press conference. There are one or two important announcements I’d like to make. Also, I think it’s time to put an end to the rumours, once and for all.’ He slipped a sheaf of papers into his attaché case and snapped the brass locks shut. ‘And now, if you’ll excuse me …’
‘A double espresso,’ Jimmy said, ‘that’s what I need.’
He was standing outside the lift with Neil and Debbie. After their meetings with Connor they would usually sit in the café round the corner and hold a brief post-mortem; the name of the café – Froth – provided the perfect ironic counterpoint to their tense discussions.
‘Me too,’ Neil said.
Debbie didn’t say anything, but when the doors opened she followed them into the lift. She stood as far away from Jimmy as she could, with her arms folded. Ever since she learned that Project Secretary had been Jimmy’s idea, she had treated him the way you might treat a suitcase that’s been abandoned at an airport. Sometimes she looked at him so warily that he had the feeling he might actually explode. He pressed G for Ground. The doors slid shut.
‘Well,’ he said with a sigh, ‘it’s a relief, I suppose.’
‘If it’s true,’ Neil said.
‘What about these announcements?’ Debbie said.
‘Don’t know about you two,’ Jimmy said, ‘but it’s a big promotion for me.’
Neil’s head swung round. ‘Really?’
Jimmy laughed.
‘Fuck you, Jimmy,’ Neil said gloomily.
‘What did you think of the Shakespeare?’ Jimmy said.
Debbie eyed him from the corner of the lift.
‘What about it?’ Neil said.
‘All’s well that ends well,’ Jimmy said. ‘Shakespeare didn’t say that. He wrote it. It’s the title of a play, for Christ’s sake.’
‘Not his special subject,’ Debbie said. And then, with a faint sneer, ‘Not his field of expertise.’
Neil watched the numbers declining as if they told of his own personal downfall. ‘So what is?’
‘I think we all know the answer to that one,’ Debbie said.
‘Do we?’ Neil said.
That evening Jimmy parked his car on Mornington Terrace and walked north, following the wall that separates the road from the railway cut. He had always been struck by the colour of the bricks, an unusual purple-grey, and the subtle sheen they had, the kind of iridescence that you find on coal. From behind the wall came the clink and rattle of trains picking their way over sets of poi
nts. He was thinking about the lunch he’d had with Richard Herring. When their coffee arrived, Richard had leaned over the table with that serious look he would sometimes, and rather self-consciously, adopt. ‘There have been some stories going round,’ he said. ‘About your company.’
Jimmy nodded. ‘Yes, I know.’
‘Pretty bizarre.’ Richard was watching him closely.
‘I know.’
‘Nothing in it, I suppose?’
‘Richard,’ Jimmy said. Then, when Richard’s face didn’t alter, he said, ‘Of course not. Totally without foundation. In fact, there’s a press conference tomorrow. Connor’s going to make a statement.’
‘You seem uneasy –’
‘I’m not uneasy, Richard. I’m just bored with the whole subject. I’ve been hearing nothing else for days.’
A silence fell.
Richard finished his coffee, setting the cup down on its saucer so carefully that it didn’t make a sound. Eyes still lowered, he said, ‘You won’t be needing any more of those invoices, I take it.’
It suddenly occurred to Jimmy that Richard might be taping the conversation and, though he instantly dismissed the thought as paranoid, he decided not to say anything else.
At last Richard sat back and, reaching for his napkin, dabbed his mouth. ‘It’s all right, Jimmy,’ he said, laughing. ‘I won’t tell.’
You’ve just lost the account, Jimmy thought. Not today. Not tomorrow either. But you’ve lost it.
He passed the house with the four motor bikes in its front garden. The window on the second floor was closed. Nobody home. At the end of the road he turned right, into Delancey Street. It had been a strange day, a day that had raised as many questions as it had answered. Halfway through the afternoon, for instance, Tony Ruddle had stopped him in the corridor and said, ‘You know what I decided while I was away?’
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