I watch till my eyes burn the tears have long dried on my cheeks as my nails dig into my palms the last of the Reapers leave I close my eyes and sob alone in the dark with just a white hum of light around me.
Day One.... I wake up cold and stiff alone still havoc unfolds around me. I watch the screens picking the skin under my nails till they are raw.
Day Two... Alone.... Cold.... Standing for the first time dizziness washes over me I stumble knocking over the small table that has a lamp on it jumping as it shatters to the floor... “ Oh fuck” flag trying to be human I fall to the floor and crawl inside myself pulling stands of hair from my head till the pain is too much and I close my eyes falling into a terrorizing slumber.
Day Three.... Waking up looking around.... Yep still alone.... Fuck....
Hello darkness my old friend I see you’ve come to talk with me again.
I chant the lyrics from Disturbed as I watch the men go wild and rapid one all eight monitors. The dark voices fall loud and heavy as I step towards the screens and run my fingers over the people on the screens they are so out of it running, screaming anger falling from them. I can see it watching them leaning my forehead on the cool screen flicking my eyes closed “Ghost please, come back, Viper please come back, Jet please.”
Day Four.... Pulling my now starving and empty body from the floor the rough indent of carpet decorating my skin I head for the bathroom. Shock at the shell I see in the mirror I pull at the loose saggy skin on my face, the deep jet-black bags under my sunken eyes, my skin clay and grey. Running my tongue over my teeth the furry gritty coating sends my body into a dry retching, reaching for a toothbrush in the holder no fucks given for who it belongs to I lather it in toothpaste and scrub my teeth till my gums bleed and the burn sinks in deep unsure if the tears falling is from the sting of the paste burning my gums or the fact that I’m fucking going crazy locked in a room alone...
Stumbling from the bathroom I grab a cold glass of water and sit on the couch. Pulling my knees up into my chest I carry on my ritual of watching the monitors and calling for help till my throat has the feeling of being wrapped in coarse sandpaper. Looking down I see that the water in gone, closing my eyes I fall back onto the couch as the voices attack my mind causing me to have unfair delusions and desires of death.
Day Five...... I don’t even move nope not at all I slump my body down and lie on my side wrapped up in the warm fuzzy, fluffy blanket around me and pretend that I’m a princess on a fluffy pink cloud jumping high above the world with nothing but a sense of imitation and carefree energy just me and my rainbow-colored unicorn. Yep happy place right there smiling I begin to laugh uncontrollably as the unicorn pulls me higher into space and no longer am I just on fluffy pink clouds nope we are now moon hoping and throwing candy floss cover moon rocks at Lime green Aliens.
Day Six.... Today is the day I will be leaving yes, yes, yes. I sure will be...Shower, plan, exit stage left got it... But first coffee, yep that sounds rather good, what a great idea Timberly I say to myself and then myself answer itself You’re welcome, Timberly. Aww how nice is that? myself is talking to itself see I’m not alone after all. Standing I fall back down as the spots come fast no warning they just hit me out of nowhere like a sledgehammer I’m out cold I’m sure of it my body hurts I feel as though I am bent in a funny way and can’t seem to wake up...
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm slowly I crack my eyes open something feels different yep it’s defiantly not the same the air is different in here in this room in my new hell something has shifted, and I smell coffee yes coffee oooooh maybe I am at work. Looking up from the way I am now lying flat not on the couch but the bed huh what the fuck scanning the room I see him then oh fuck yes thank god he here he’s back. “Viper.” My throat is croaks out dry and sore it’s painful to get the words out he cranes his head to meet mine the marks of a battle wearing over his features his arm is bleeding and I notice a pool of blood on his shit.
“Are you hurt?” I question him as he sips from the cup walking over to me he places the warm cup in my shaking hands
“Shhhhh” he says tucking the tendrils of hair behind my ears. “Little lady I’m not coming back ok Jet and I are leaving with Blue tonight so in Three days you leave.” His voice fast deep but clear dropping a set of keys and a swipe card on my lap. “Take the exit we went out that night go to the right and just follow the road little lady I’m sorry.” He breathes out wrapping his hand behind my head pulling me forward he kisses the top of my head and I just watch him grab his duffle bag stopping at the door Three Days Little lady they all will start to leave just the die hands will be hanging around Three days and you walk out of here.” I blink my tired confused eyes up at him. “I’m sorry” he says and that’s it he’s gone.
Day Seven... Coffee in hand and I’m back to being lost, crazy and alone right cool story Bro I mouth to the door...
Chapter Nineteen
Ghost
My phone vibrates in my pocket against the grinding ass of Jenna the club whore who is straddled over me kissing my neck while biting her sweet teeth along my collarbone. She’s the only one who knows just how sick I am and likes it and the pain that comes with fucking an A-Grade asshole like me. Not to mention the scars I leave on her soul and the blood in her bed, cutting is what I love to do. That shit gets me fucking hard.
Sliding my phone unlocked I'm greeted by the photo of a sleeping Timberly I put as my wall paper and lock screen, taken the day she was passed out in my shop. My heart stops and sweat beads down my spine as my hands shake. It still fucking hurts, I won’t even lie this is torture knowing my boys have found nothing she just vanished into thin mother fucking air. Hawk and his left they had their own shit to sort but before he left Hawk did inform me that Bray asked for a shipment of guns. Fuck is he up too. No doubt this text will be him he’s locked himself in his office for the third day since Blue finally came out of her drug induced state and he knows now she’s ok and Lilly is back with us also so all is well at the Reapers compounds the boys all have their women and the club girls are keeping the others dicks warm in saying that I shift Jenna and she still I watch her eyes look at my phone she sees my girls beautiful face on my phone my cock hardens instantly against Jenna dirty crouch she knows it’s not from her ass either takes a knife and a choke hold to get hard on her ass.
“Fuck you Ghost” she spits out at me as I push her off, “What sweetheart? You’re nothing but a lay you know that no class just ass”
Pulling my hat back grabbing a cigarette I light it up sitting back whatever it is better be good.
But believe me I’m not prepared for the name I see on the screen. my fucking heart stops as I look up from my phone and pick the whore Jenna from my lap not needing her dirty ass tainting this. I drop her ass on the ground at my feet and she just stares up at me; shock, anger, embarrassment washes over her too much makeup features and painted hooker red lips.
Timberly – Hello....
Is all it reads, a smile pulls at my lips, looking up my boys who are just looking at me “What” barking out, “Just that grin there, brother and the fact that you dropped Jenna on her ass” winking at them I text Timberly back with shaking hands is it really her, my mind races, should I just ring her, is it her like for real, well Ghost who else would it be, yeah but it’s been over a month now like fuck me. I argue with myself.
Me – Poppet?
Timberly – Hey... Um yep...
Me – Timberly is this?
Timberly – Me, yes, it’s me...
Fuck me... A grin breaks out over my face the first time in so long I feel something other than fucking dead cold hate. Shit text her back dick I scold myself.
Me – Where are you?
Timberly - Are you busy?
Why is she asking me a fucking question to my question? Like fuck Timberly I need to know where you are.
Me – Where are you? And no for you Poppet never...
Timberly - I need you I think like real bad need you!
Please. You know where... The place that is hell for us both...
God she so polite all the time, I fucking love it. I don’t even need to think about it. I will walk to the depths of the hell that is life without her just too see her smile. Sucking in deep on my cigarette I blow small smoke rings out in front of me as my mind travels to what the fuck has gone down and all the worst shit flashes through my mind and I don’t even think twice before I flick my reply back to her. Queens bridge housing is not a place I wanna go after last time Spike was found Two days later in a stairwell alone dead half naked and beaten. But to get my Poppet and touch her, smell her, taste her, love her ill fucking kill a thousand men and more
Me - Coming poppet. Don’t you fucking move!
Jumping up from the seat adjusting my dick in my jeans downing my Jagger and winking at the boys “Later” I say smugly grabbing my smokes and cut. Shrugging my body into the heavy leather I breathe a sigh of relief, that’s better this one small thing gives me the feeling of home in this fucked up world. I head out to my bike flicking a wink to Jenna who is now standing with the club bitch with a resting bitch face and daggers for eyes. I blow Miss Ginny a kiss Jenna flicks her hair and storm’s off in a huff Miss Ginny well she just shakes her head. I laugh I like stirring up a shit storm way too much.
Pulling up outside Queens Bridge housing the same shiver and bead of sweat form over me snaking down my spine, shaking it off pulling my cap from inside my cut pull my hoodie up over my head and take the stairs up to the sixth floor, stepping over junkies and passed out drunks, something must be bad for her to get me to come here after today’s incident. A small smirk laces my cool lips at the memory of cracking their fucking faces with my fists, feed the demon and satisfied him for now at least but shit I’ll have to do a job soon.
Stepping inside the apartment the smell hits me death walking fast through the over powering stench I have to pull my skull mask from my pocket and hold it over my nose the smell has bile rising up and my eyes watering.
I find her then in the fetal position on the hall floor, looking to wear her blank stare lays my heart slams against my chest, sweat escapes my pores pooling down my spine, jaw taut, “Shit poppet” I push out she just stays there not moving barely breathing, coming down to my knees pulling her up into my arms I flip my cap backwards bringing my eyes to meet her dead ones, “Poppet I'll fix this, I'll clean this up” blinking that’s all she does blink. Kissing her forehead unsure of what to do. My lips lingering on the smooth as silk skin of her forehead.
“Poppet, where the fuck have you been? Let me look at you? Are you hurt? Poppet please like for shits sake Poppet.” My thoughts are all over the shop and I can’t speck right tears falling from my eyes pain washes over me seeing her so fucking broken cold and alone. Her eyes are dead she is dirty and patches of her hair is missing I pull her tight into my arms leaning against the wall I pull my arms from my cut and pull my hoodie of putting her tiny body inside it lifting her boney arms the skin lose and cold slipping them inside it and pulling it down over her body. Fuck. Bray this needs the boys, pulling out my cell I punch the number in.
Filling him in his voice calm and cool is just what I need right now.
“Brother stay in control you’re better than that place and shit will be fine trust in who you are now.”
He says to me before I hang up knowing that’s just what I need. Even if his voice is slurring he’s still in control and I will never doubt his ability to save me.
Pulling her small trembling body deep into me I hold her running my hand over her thigh and holding my other to the top of her head from falling forward. She has no strength I can feel it the way she leans into me her skin dirty covered in bruises Blue and purple fresh ones then there is Yellow and Green ones old one her flesh dotted with them and sores that are scabbing over some cuts and starches are fresh and there is blisters all over her feet. placing small soft kisses to her forehead a small reassurance that it’s going to be ok as the thought of what the fuck, and what the hell happen and what’s going to follow spill out over my body causing an uneasy feeling for Timberly in the pit of my stomach. But one thing I know I’ll keep her pure soul safe from this moment in this hell hole that smells like death and drugs she’s mine now all fucking mine.
Closing my eyes breathing her in her hand finds my free one and she runs her fingers over mine parting them we link our fingers together and just sit there like that for a while my chin on the top of her head her face on my chest her ear leaning close to my heart “Hear that Poppet? My cold heart started beating the day you spoke to me. And Poppet it died that day I walked out of my shop and away from you. But I swear that hum that’s forming is my heart coming back for you and only you.” A whimper leaves her body shaking into mine I squeeze my eyes shut fuck this hurts.
I hear the sound of my brother’s bikes thank fuck, grabbing her hands in mine, kissing her knuckles “Poppet my boys are here, don’t freak the fuck out ok I'm going to place you down and let them in”.
Nothing but a blank stare. Still breathing though, heading down the hall I let them in.
Bray greets me “What the fuck have you done” he says playfully tapping my arm as he steps past me, 81, Cage, and the other boys roll in after our Prez. “Oh, what the fuck is that fucking smell.” Brays calls out pulling his mask from his pocket as do my other brothers tying it around their faces “Ghost” he mumbles out “Talk” ushering them to the lounge room and dirty couches I wanna talk without Timberly hearing.
“I came in here over a month ago smashed these douche bags for hurting the bird I may have been stalking, she passes out each time anyone looks at her let alone talks so keep ya eyes off her she’s a bit fucked up and I took her with me to my shop she kept passing out telling me bits and well I freaked couldn’t think got high and walked out. Shot the guy at the club and well went A-Wall after I found out from Spike that she had been taken by the douche bags. Then Blue happened, and I lost traction but tonight she texts and boom here we are, her mom is dead in the bath tub beaten with a needle sticking out her arm” Bray specks first “Wait Spike?” Running my hands through my hair “After all I tell you all you get stuck on his Spike?” I question anger rising in my veins “Well we kinda already know that she got taken and fucked up coz of the fact that you can’t keep ya anger and hands in line.” Shaking I am now shaking as Cage’s hand finds my shoulder “Chill Brother.” Looking at him and back to Bray “I paid Spike in drugs he had the info I needed so I got the Devils Dawn in and they helped me we come up with nothing. Spike was found dead two days after I gave him the drugs, so he is permanently gone so don’t worry about it Bray.” I snap walking from the lounge and down the hallway.
Chapter Twenty
Timberly
One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six men fill the small space between me and the body of someone I used to know, watching them as I sit up not feeling a single thing it’s all a blur and hush voices, Ghost is in and out from my sight running his fingers over my arms, through my hair leaving tiny prickles of heat in its wake, it’s nice you know the feel of it, it’s different, I feel different like really different. Standing wobbling as I step up and I begin to fall as the world spins around me the feeling of hands on my skin wrapping around my body I'm caught frozen stuck you know in that in-between freefall before hitting the ground leaving plenty of time for panic to take over and the inevitable feeling of pain from another’s hands on you striping more from you. But no, I am no longer spiraling to the floor but being pulled up.
“Whoa little lady you ok,” looking into his eyes not able to say anything the name alone hitting my hairs has my skin quivering and mu hairs standing on edge Viper surely not he turns me in his arms placing me back against the wall slowly he lowers my body down the wall till I'm sitting on the cold uncarpeted hall floor looking into my eyes he searches mine for what I'm unsure off but his eyes are stunning like for a guy they are the most stunning shade of ember peppered with black flecks. Nope not the
yellow of snake eyes not Viper breathing for the first time since he touched me fuzzy dizzy feeling assaults my head I have to stop doing that I mentally correct myself stop with the non-breathing and panic after where you have just been bitch, this shits a walk in the park. “I’ll just get Ghost,” he says concerned for what me? “It’s ok” I push out rough and husky my throat is so dry still wrapped in sandpaper fuck all I want is water.
“Who are you?” looking into his eyes not scared no spots forming no dizzy feeling in my head he soothes me this man strangely just like Viper did in his sick way, but this man screams protector.
“81” he says looking nervous his eyes dart from mine to his hands and back up again.
“I won’t bite you know” a giggle escaping me
“Ghost doesn’t want us talking to you or even looking at you” he says surprised that I'm staying here calm cool collected, as I reach out to him my fingers touching his 5 O’clock shadow he tenses his tongue darts out over his lip I watch it in like a slow mo action. “Hey this is not normal" his voice breaks pulling back from my touch as he stands and walks away then shaking his head “mmm weird.” I hear him say to no-one you’re the weird one I think as I pull my unsteady body back up the wall I start to wobble and then I just pace the hallway walking past the bathroom door and then back again each time I pass it’s still closed. Mmm I murmur out as I run my fingertips over the walls and doors as I go in flowy movements. Ghost steps behind me I smell him before I see him, turning putting my hands on either side of his cheeks. “Hey, you ok?” startled he steps into me
“Poppet” eyes bugging out,
“Yes” running my fingers over his lips, startled he looks at like really looks at me the bathroom door opens just then his boys carry out the body of my mom wrapped in plastic. 81 walks up with a big blanket and throws it over her tiny frame as some other guy carries her out over his shoulder she just looks like someone you would find in the hall passed out but their skin not all decade and manky and fuck the smell is putrid. My eyes follow her as Ghost pulls from me and turns to talk to one of the men this one looks like a boss I heard them call him Pres. so he must be of importance pulling him into a hug he then picks me up before I even know what’s happening.
Heal Me (Reapers Reign, #3) Page 19