My eyes fall to Ghost arm his cut ripped from him a heap on the floor blood trickling from his vein and a small red crimson line from his nose to his top lip spreading out over it his lips red with blood his face pale his eyes are rolled back in his head the whites are all that you see. Jenna is rocking rubbing her hand over his forehead and back up through his hair.
“No, baby please, please, don’t leave me, please baby I’m sorry.” she chants it over and over again rocking and sobbing snot and tears cover her face as the air falls from my body and I fall to my knees my eyes looking at the needle in his arm it’s empty the vein popping from the tie around his upper arm. My eyes find hers and I see red spinning on the boys their faces blank fear swirling in their eyes.
Not so fucking tough now are ya! I think bikers you maybe men I haven’t fucking seen one here yet 81 pushes through them with Bray on his heel.
“Get them all the fuck out,” Bray screams his heavy I’m the fucking boss voice bounces of the walls and sends a chill through me a welcome feeling to the fire burning over my skin death is hot on my tongue and my first kill I vow in that moment will be this fucking Club trash Jenna.
Blue comes in and lowers Ghost from Jenna’s grip to the floor as I step behind her grabbing the bitch from the floor from by her hair she is bawling her eyes out the sobs doing nothing but making me angrier.
“Shut the fuck up,” I spit into her face. “Look at what the fuck you have done.” I scream into her face small droplets of spit landing on her face.
“Timberly Cage is getting the Naloxone,” Knox voice breaks through the chaos of this small room holding Jenna tight by her hair she’s screaming and whaling I slam her head into the sink ripping it back up a spilt above her eyebrow from where her head meet the porcelain, blood trickles down and mixes with tears. Shaking my head my vision I see Lilly in a heap on the floor her head on her knees that are pulled up into her chest her eyes fixed on Ghost sobs raking through her as massive dragon tears fall from her eyes. Fuckkkkkk. So many people trying to get in and look at my man so fragile in this moment he’s OD’ing a needle in his arm gone is the Reaper the most feared man their VP gone and in its place is a man who’s pants undone his belt laying open at the sides of his jeans and the head of his cock limp and peeking over the top of his waist band of his boxers whatever she had planned for him went west the moment she injected the whole syringe into his vein blowing it out and his body with it, his lips purple skin ghostly grey he’s fading and fast.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” I scream out my voice slamming off the walls and smacking me back in my face shit never knew I could be that loud the whole room and common room still rapid breathes are all you hear finally some fucking quite to think to breath.
“81, get these fucking people out of here!” calmer my tone is calmer but laced with a heavy grit.
“Got it little lady, right dick heads you herd the boss lady get the fuck out and now no more to see here folks.” Shuffling people back I bring my fury back to Jenna.
“See what you have done bitch,” lowering her face down dangerously close to Ghost’s.
“See that the color of his skin and lips the piss stanning the front of him.”
She shakes and screams in my hands as Cage pulls the needle so slowly from his arm and brings the new fresh needle that I hope will bring my baby back to life up to the light tapping it the liquid dances up as he squirts it into the air.
“Save him, Cage,” her voice cracks over her shitty whimpers.
“Fuck you Jenna you didn’t think about him when you gave him another lethal dose that’s what the second time in a fucking week,” I snap out throwing her at Blue. “Take the bitch out and don’t ever let her back in here coz if I see her fucking face again I will slit her throat and bleed her out.”
“I-I butttttt” she stutters out.
“Didn’t think I knew, did ya bitch, well I know everything.”
Throwing her at Blue, I fall and scoop my man into my arms wrapping him into me my back against the cold wall his head in the crock of my arms as I lift his eyelids checking his pupils. Placing two finger in his neck trying to find a pulse. I search Cage’s eyes that are boring into mine. shaking my head moving my fingers over and pushing them in deeper holding my breath fuck please don’t be dead baby ah nope there we go a small faint pulse shallow but there none the less nodding at Cage as my lips find Ghost’s clammy skin kissing his forehead. His breathing so shallow, meeting the beat of my heart I murmur into him “Come back to me baby, we have so much life left to live, come back you’re stronger than this.” Cage slams the needle into his skin and instantly his body reacts his eyes fly open as his lungs suck in air deep gasping coming back from the brink of death.
“That’s it baby breathe just breathe,” I say to him tucking his dick back inside his boxers and waistband running my hands over his body to warm up his too cold skin and the touch keeping me from jumping up and stabbing the bitch that did this in her fucking eyes.
“All I wanted was to be someone to you Ghost, I didn’t want to hurt you, but you live for that pain baby, the shame of being high and hiding will kill you, with me you didn’t have to, she can’t love you like I can. She can’t touch you the way I can, she can’t fuck you baby like I can. She’s not me, you need me, you need this life, the drugs, the sex, the high, the dark I can give it, what can she do?”
Slowly my eyes rise over his now shaking body a side effect of the drugs and the Naloxone doing its job.
“You have no fucking clue what I am capable of bitch and wanna know something sweetheart the difference between me and you is, that you’re a fucking club whore and nothing more you will never be me, as I’m lady babe and well now I’m Ghost’s old lady and I will be his wife so sweetheart the joke’s on you.”
Blue places her hands on the back of head pulling her up from the floor as Cage stands buttoning up her shirt the hyena squad now where in side 81 comes over to me with a blanket.
“Little lady I’ll take him,” his face somber and pained.
“To the shop I dint give a fuck about ya lock down he ant staying here.” I snap as his limp body is lifted from me he moans out at the loss of my warmth.
“Poppet no Poppet don’t go.” His voice a raspy mess.
“I’m here baby right here my hand laces into his locking my warm fingers into his cold ones my lips kissing his brow.
“Don’t let the rabbit hole take me Poppet.” He is scared I hear it in his voice.
“Never.” I mouth into his as 81 starts to walk out.
“He’s ok aye Tim like he’s really ok aye?” Lilly breaks, long sliver tears streak her hot flushed cheeks fear in her eyes he is her main man and it cuts deep seeing her in this much. Leaning down I pull her up and into me.
“He will be babe, the next few days will be hard ones,” squeezing her into me running my hand over her head and down her back trying to absorb the body wrecking sobs coming from her and trying to take some of the pain away.
“Knox, get ya brother here and get him to take Lilly far away from this shit tonight.” Brays eyes meet mine over Lilly’s head and I see him blow out a breath as relief washes over him I know he can’t do Lilly and a full blown shut down as well as Raven and the cup of crazy she’s unfolding on him and then this lock down and the two new chapters coming in shits a fucking mess tonight.
“I’m ok biker princess,” Ghost shaky voice washes over us she breaths out and goes limp in my arms relief washing through us both as I slowly let her go and she falls into him 81 groans at the extra weight.
“Don’t you fucking leave me!” she cries into him. “I can’t deal with that Ghost,” her sobs break my heart as my eyes bore into Jenna’s.
“Ride and die, Lilly, Blue, Bray and I ride or die bad bikers for life. I ant going anywhere sweet face.”
His hand shaky as it is reaches from under the blanket and graces Lilly’s cheek as she leans into him for a quick moment she smiles before 81 walks out the people pa
rt for us.
“Oh, and Jenna Karma never loses an address babe, I’ll be seeing you around.”
Bray opens the door to the common room the nights air hits my hot skin its cool breeze lush over my hot sticky skin turning my head up to the nights sky as I step from the club house Ghost’s hand in mine I hear blue behind me.
“That right there is love Bitch not your sick idea of it either that’s true fucking love.”
Walking into the Tattoo shop I flick the lights on the hum of the tubing warming up the only sound 81 right behind me huffing and puffing under the massive frame of my baby a smile laces my lips as I hear him.
“Fucking put me down brother I can walk,” his voice weak and his body shaking side effects will fuck him up for days and it’s going to be painful. Hot burning skin, night sweats, tremors, shaking, vomiting, flu like symptoms this is going to be a fucking cup of fun long days and darker nights.
Shaking my head as I take the steps upstairs to the bathroom
“Brother, fuck up I carried ya ass all the way from the club to here so we good few steps and ya own ya fucking own.”
“Place him in the arm chair by the bed babe I’ll run a bath.” 81 nods at me as I walk past him. My eyes fall to the hazed over ones staring at me from 81’s arms.
“It will be ok babe,” I squeeze his shoulder stilling the shaking for a moment at least.
“Poppet it hurts.” His shaking hands finds my face placing my hand over his turning my cheek my lips kiss his palm.
“I know, I know it does it won’t for much longer I promise tomorrow will be better.” I lie, I know it won’t be, but I will make sure it’s as painful as possible.
“Poppet don’t leave.” His voice pleads. “No matter how dark it gets, please don’t go.” As a tear rolls down, his cheek 81 sniffs sucking back his own pain.
Placing Ghost on the chair wrapping him in the blanket he meets me in the bathroom the steam from the hot tap swirling up round us both his entry sending the fog to shift and move around his big built up biker frame. “You’re a fucking strong one, little lady.” He pulls me into his arms kissing the top of my head and for the first time since this fucking nightmare began I look up into the eyes that first told me shit would be ok back in the dirty apartment on the sixth floor of hell.
I melt into his body and just let go the small sobs shaking from me and into his strong body he takes all the pain and pent up anger from tonight and I feel finally, I feel everything his pain, Brays, Lilly’s, Blue’s, Cage and above all else I feel Ghost’s pain laced with so much shame that it takes my breath away hitting me hard. I weep into 81’s leather cut pressing hard on my face.
“Little lady, one day at a time, we got you both. I’ll be back in the AM.” He steps back, breaking the hold and I miss the warmth of his embrace as soon as it’s gone.
Nodding up at him I pull my hair up into a messy bun on the top of my head. Taking my leather jacket off, I fold it nicely and place it on top of the vanity, my hand resting over the patch that says I am a Reaper’s old lady. “Can you bring Ghost in here for me please, brother?”
His eyes smile at me. “Sure thing, sister.” He winks, and I strip my body from the clothing that smells like blood, dope and death.
The warm water lulls up around me as I push my body deep into the warm water the bubbles taking over my skin the heat and soap sting my fresh tattoo sucking in a deep breath I slide down under the hot water and allow it to cover my face holding my breath till the burn forms in my lungs and I blow the air from my nose bubbles shooting up from me breaking on the surface pulling myself back up 81 is there with Ghost in his arms. Sitting up I pull bubbles around my shielding my body from the eyes that don’t belong to my lover but a brother and someone I have become close to.
81 sits Ghost down on the edge of the bath and undresses him his eyes never leaving the task at hand, slowly he moves Ghost’s shaking and fragile limbs into the hot water and into my body sliding himself down between my legs his muscled tattooed body taking up the whole of me and the small tube sending water gushing over the rim and onto 81’s boots, “ sssoorryyy Brotherrrr” Ghost chatters out as my face finds his back his skin so hot to touch scorching my cheeks but yet his body shakes like the chill of death sleeps deep in his bones.
“Don’t sweat it, little lady, you need me, you ring. I’ll be here like that.” He clicks his fingers together.
“Thanks Babe.” He turns, leaving us alone for the first time since this morning. I am alone with him.
Flicking the play button on the iPod 30 Seconds of Mars version of stay plays out around us lighting a smoke and taking a few drags before I pass it to Ghost picking up my glass of Jager I am prepared ready for a long night.
Leaning back into the bath his head falls back resting on my collar bone I get a perfect view of the pain etched over his face as his body falls into the bubbles the rise and fall of his tattooed chest peppered with scars of a past no one should have had. Mirrors of each other we are both beautiful and both broken.
“You and I are like a mirror and a shadow Il be your mirror because mirrors never lie, and you be my shadow, shadows never leave...” I whisper into the steamy bathroom.
Running my wet hands over his chest a low moan leaves him his eyes close as he takes a long drag of the smoke. “The Doc,” he asks me like this is the most important thing right now.
“Tomorrow baby he will come tomorrow or tonight if you need him he’s on standby,” his head shakes. “Just us tonight Poppet no more needles no more numbing I need the pain to feel it to know that you’re real.” A tear leaves my eyes rolling down over the bridge of my nose I taste the salty drop on my lips. Running my toes over his shines and my hands over his torso rubbing the ache from his body I know I need to talk to help him allow him to break around me and let me place him back together one fucking broken beautiful piece at a time. Sofia Karlberg’s haunting voice singing Make it Rain washes through the room as I flick the dimer down to a low lull on the harsh lighting above our heads.
His bathroom is decked out with fancy gadgets nothing but the best for a Reaper I suppose. “Take my hand I won’t leave you.” My voice is shaky as I link my fingers into his. “If you fall, I will fall with you. I won't turn my back on you, on us. We will face this dark together. We will forget in the sanctuary of each other’s arms. My fight will not dim. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you, to save you and to put them demons that haunt you to rest.”
“The walls are closing in around me, Poppet and I’m scared that you will become a face that I used to know, you see, bad things happen to people I care about and I don’t want you to just walk in my dreams.”
“Babe it’s alright, I’m stronger than you think.”
“You say that it's alright, and I know that it’s a lie from the black in your eyes, Poppet.”
“You don’t have to do this on your own, Ghost, like there’s no one that cares about you. Because I know all about you and I’m here. You don’t have to act like you're alone, Here I am still holding on to you, this, our love, the flashlight that will light our way home and then look you’re finding ways to break the bonds, you can’t you know baby because they’re stronger than you realize.” Leaning down into his neck kissing the dull thud of his pulse slowly it’s regaining its normal rhythm “How did I find someone like you Poppet.” His voice questioning me “The stars baby, a lined just prefect for us.”
“I can’t be fixed with Band-Aids, Poppet.” he turns to face me water washes over the side slashing the floor as my hands find his face and pulling him into my lips “I don’t need them to fix you for your soul isn’t broken Baby it’s just surface cracks.” Leaning in my lips graze over his, our kiss soft, hungry but simple and sweet both knowing that we are too fragile for more at this moment in time we are both barely breathing.
Sia’s voice singing Helium breaks through the suffocating thoughts of him breaking away and giving up.
Realization that he will never think he�
�s worthy of me. I do the only thing I can think of and sing to him, to my broken demon.
I will get through he is worth all of it the pain, the hate, the rage, the damage the whole lot.
Sia’s song Helium falls from my lips.
“Let me be your Helium, Ghost. Let me lift you up, you’re more than your sins, you’re more than your dark thoughts, you’re more than you know and to me, you are the greatest. You saved me when I was at my weakest.”
Tears stain both our cheeks and goose bumps ripple over our skin as our hands dance over each other’s naked bodies. Our fingers drawing each bump, mark, scar, ink into the memory bank of the new life we are making in this moment here, stripped bare in a bath swirling with the taste of a harsh reality that the world will fuck us any chance it gets.
Staring into his eyes for what feels like an eternity a roll of his forest green with peppered black flecks you get lost in the light and dark swimming in them my vision moves down to his lips the purple all but gone and the rose flush dancing over them once more.
“Poppet, Smoke and mirrors. Fire and ice. You and I. The Devil and his vice. Angels with crystal wings. Demons with dark eyes. Lips that taste like home Eyes I've fallen for. A heart that beats to a tune so familiar. Your breath that tingles the senses of my dark soul. I'm the king of kings seeking a queen to join in my asylum to seek out the fear feed the Beast. A queen I seek to anchor my feet hold me stable in a world so fucked. Over and over again you prove that you will not waver and you’re the true mold of what a MC needs the back bone to a biker, the shelter in a storm, the voice in the dark, don’t let this world fuck you up teach me gently Poppet how to breath in the light while I teach you how to live in my dark.”
He pleads with me no more words needed for we have vowed in our own fucked up way that we will stay, fight, for the dark love we both need his taste for the drug haunts him she will attack him each time he closes his eyes a dark fake paradise and I will always be waiting on the other side for him to seek when the dark is too much while my monster fights with my reality for what is the shattered reality of my own fucked up thoughts, I have my own demons waging war.
Heal Me (Reapers Reign, #3) Page 34