***
Frankie shifted in her chair, smoothed the green riding skirt she was wearing and glanced at the clock. Almost six o’clock. The sun was already setting, dusk moving in. She closed the account book and took it to the shelf. They were working late for store hours. Uncle Wally and Seth had probably finished unloading that wagon load of sugar and flour that had arrived from Miller‘s Valley early in the afternoon.
She chewed on her lip and stared out the window. This was Seth’s last day. From now on, she would only see him by chance. And that was for the best. There was just too much heartache loving someone who was in love with another woman. And it was her own fault she was suffering. She knew better than to give her heart away.
The storeroom door squeaked and she turned to see Seth.
“Hey there,” he smiled, stepping inside. “Wally thought you were out back, but I guessed you might be in here working on the accounts.”
She nodded. The lines around his mouth were tight, like he was forcing his lips into a smile. Dread flowed through her. Maybe Uncle Wally had sent him back to say goodbye to her. He shouldn’t have done that. It was better for Seth to have marched out the front door and never looked back.
She swallowed hard and forced agreeable words from her mouth. “Hello. I guess this is it for you. Now you’re a full-time rancher.” With a wedding on the way. And a full life ahead of him. She blinked hard to force back the tears that stung her eyelids.
He shoved his hands in his trouser pockets and nodded, his eyes on the floor. “I guess so.”
Silence filled the room. Frankie’s heartbeat echoed in her ears, hurtling ahead of her thoughts. He was half a room away, but it was as if the air was pulsing between them. Was she supposed to say something? She couldn’t go on looking at him, it only made her heart ache more. He needed to go on with his life. Be completely out of hers.
He finally looked up, his blue eyes meeting hers. “I wondered if you’d like to take a walk.”
Chapter 22
She breathed deep as they stepped out the back door. The dusky air was beginning to cool after the heat of the September day. Autumn nights were a welcome relief from the long, humid evenings of summer.
She walked along beside him as he commented on the weather, a horse Mark was training, funny things Isaac had said to him recently. She allowed a smile to cross her lips. It was easy to imagine spending evenings with him, listening to his gentle voice as he talked about his day’s work. Listen to the plans he had for tomorrow.
Stop it, Frankie. You can’t go on–
“Are you listening to me?”
She jerked her thoughts away from her imagination. “I’m sorry. I’m not sure. . .”
He motioned her toward a bench along the back of the store and patted the place beside him as he took a seat.
She slowly followed, allowing herself to sit as close as she dared. The near-darkness would hide the longing in her eyes.
He leaned back, then sat up straight, as if he needed to be ready to leap up at once. Whatever he was going to say seemed important to him.
He cleared his throat. “There’s something I need. . .want to ask you, Frankie. I’ve known since the dance a few months ago.”
He paused and she waited. Maybe, at last, he was going to mention his strange behavior that evening. She had spent months wondering what she had done to offend him that evening.
He hesitated, then spoke. “That night when we danced the reel together. . .it was like I really saw you for the first time. You’re not just the prettiest girl around town, you’re sweet and kind, and a hard worker. And you’ve always been honest with me. That counts for a lot.”
She squirmed and shifted her weight. If only he would stop saying things like that. He didn‘t really know her. Not about the things that were important. Not the things that she had to keep hidden. Mama had said she must. She couldn‘t let him go on. “Seth, don’t say–”
He interrupted. “We’d make a fine couple, Frankie. And I know my family would love to hear that you want to be part of us. They’re plain crazy about you and your little brother. Not as crazy as me, of course,” he joked. His hand reached down in the pale light and let his fingers find hers. “I love you, Frankie.”
Why would he say such a thing? He couldn’t mean what he’d just said. He was in love with Violet.
”Seth?” Words froze in her throat. His warm hand was only making the situation more painful. She jerked free of him and folded her hands in her lap.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said. “But the truth is, it’s you I love Frankie, not Violet.”
She winced at the arrow of pain digging deeper into her side. His words were only making her explanation harder. She took a deep breath and prayed the tremor from her voice. “Those things you said about me, Seth. They’re just not true. I. . .I haven’t been honest with you. . .or a lot of people. I never wanted to lie, but, well it started a long time ago and I’ve just kept it up. I promised I would.”
His voice softened. “What are you talking about?”
Thank you that it’s almost dark out here, Lord. At least I don’t have to look at him, see the disgust in his eyes when he knows the truth about me. I. . .I don’t know if I can do it. Please give me courage.
She swallowed hard. She might as well just say it. Get it over with. “It’s. . .it’s about Charlie. You see. . .he. . .” This was harder than she had ever imagined. Carrying around a lie for so many years had eaten at her heart. And now, she was going to have to dig through all the scars and scabs that festered inside of her. She bit her lip hard to stop the tears, but they came anyway. “He’s. . .he’s not my brother, Seth. He’s mine. My child.”
There. She’d said it. Now he would think what he wanted. He could walk away and she’d never have to see him again.
***
Seth felt the breath pulled from his lungs. It didn’t make sense, what she’d just said. How could she be Charlie’s mother? She was only. . . “Frankie, how old are you?”
Her voice shook and he could hear the sob in her throat. “Twenty. Right after Christmas.”
“And Charlie is six?”
“Yes,” she sobbed. The near-darkness hid her face, but she turned it from him.
He dropped his hands to hers and twined her fingers in his. “Tell me. Tell me who Charlie’s father is.”
She was silent for several moments, her hands shaking in his. “I don’t know.” Her voice was soft and shaky.
He waited. The knot inside his stomach growing with every passing moment. Surely she would tell him more.
She took a deep breath. “I told you how I used to have to put out traps for animals. And how I sold their pelts for trade at the little store near us.”
“That’s right.” The day she’d told him that story was the first time he started to realize what a hard life she had come from. Working at the general store and living with Wally Stoner had definitely been a step forward in their lives.
“One evening,” she hesitated, “I was late getting back home. It was almost dark. I realized that someone else was back behind me. I. . .I tried to see who, but they kept in the shadows of the trees. I could feel them back there, watching me, following me. Sometimes his footsteps crunched in the underbrush, echoing all around me. I. . .I was so scared.” He had to listen hard to hear the almost whisper in which she spoke.
He tightened his hand over hers and willed himself to be strong.
Her voice shook as she continued. “Finally, I started running. And so did he. I tried to run faster, but my boot caught in the hem of my skirt and I fell. I got up, but he. . .he caught up with me and. . . .and…”
She collapsed, sobbing into his arms. He tightened his grip and held her as close as possible, wishing there was something he could say that would make it better for her. Whoever had done this to her deserved to be. . .but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. It was all in the past. Help me forgive him, Lord. Whoever he is. Just the thought
that someone could hurt her sent ripples of anger through him.
She struggled and pulled away from him. Sitting straight, her hands wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Mama said we had to tell people the baby was hers, else they wouldn’t understand. Folks would think I was ruined and nobody would ever want to marry me. ‘Course, lying about it didn’t change anything. They would’ve been right.”
She stood and turned to him, the last of the evening light shining across her tear-stained cheeks. “I’m sorry I had to keep it from you. I never thought it was right, but Mama insisted. Now you know why I can’t marry you or anybody else, Seth.” With that, she turned and went inside the back door of the store.
“Frankie! Wait!” The sound of the lock turning was his only answer.
Chapter 23
Frankie added the column of figures again. Even with so much practice, it was hard to trust herself the first time she figured a row of numbers. Seth had claimed she was a natural at doing sums and didn’t have to double check everything she did. Even Uncle Wally was impressed, promoting her to bookkeeper and making her a small office off the storeroom.
She sighed, her thoughts turning to Seth. He had finished with the small house and now it sat empty. From the beginning, he had taken her out there, asking for her advice about the arrangement of rooms in the house, places windows should go. It had been fun at moments, watching the little house come to be. Picking out furniture, rearranging all of it in her mind. But it had been a dangerous venture. Too much of herself was in that house. He should have been asking the girl he was so crazy about. Or had thought he was.
She squeezed the pencil she held in her hand, finally putting it down, rubbing her sore fingers. I don’t know what he was thinking, Lord. He’s always treated me like a sister. By now, he must realize that he doesn’t love me.
Especially after what she had confided in him. A heavy weight dropped to her stomach. He was the only other person in the world that knew the secret she carried within.
She blinked back tears that stung her eyelids and shook away the pain that sprouted inside. Surely God would convince Seth it was Violet that was meant for him.
She sighed and stared at the figures as they blurred together through her tears. Their kind of joy would never be hers. She had other things to be concerned about. Her responsibility for Charlie was more important than the whims of her heart.
The storeroom door squeaked and she jumped as a metal object plunked on the desk in front of her.
“Am I interrupting?”
Seth. What was he doing here?
Her heart sank as she quickly wiped her eyes and plastered a smile on her face. She hadn’t thought to have to face him again so soon. It would be best to act like their last conversation had never happened.
“Hello,” she managed. “And what is this?” She picked up a large key.
“Lock to the front door of the house I built.”
She stared up at him. “What are you talking about? You said no one ever locks their doors.”
He shrugged and took a seat next to her. “Most folks don’t. But it’s pretty important to one person I know”
She gave a short laugh and attempted to hand the key to him.
He shook his head. “It’s yours. If you want it.” He cleared his throat. “Course, you’d have to take me along with it.”
She stared, not daring to think about the way her heart was galloping inside her chest. She’d told him everything. How could he. . .?
She had told him and he was here, saying these words to her. Just like all of it didn’t matter to him. Her voice was barely a whisper. “Seth?”
He stood and offered to help her up. “Did you hear what I said, Frankie?”
She stared at the strong, tanned fingers, waiting to grasp hers. She loved the feel of her hand safe in his when he helped her down from a wagon, or offered to help her up the stairs. She’d love to take hold of what he was offering. Forever. It was where her heart wanted to belong. But he could never be hers. Never. God had planned otherwise and there was nothing she could do about it.
Her voice trembled when she answered. “I can’t, Seth. I just. . .can’t. It wouldn‘t be right for you. You need a girl who. . .who isn’t. . .I mean who. . .” she swallowed hard, not wanting to say the words.
His fingers went under her chin, tilting her face to his. “The only girl I need is you, Frankie McGregor.”
She shook her head and turned away, not wanting to meet him eye to eye. “Seth, I was honest with you. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, or obligated to me in any way. You. . .” she swallowed hard. “You didn’t know about me when you asked me to marry you.”
His hand, warm and firm rested on her arm. “All I want is to tell people that you’ve agreed to be my wife, Frankie. The rest you told me only proves you’re even more than I thought. I’ve admired you since I first found out how you supported yourself and Charlie, along with your mother back in Jasper Creek. That was no ordinary feat for such a young girl. And after what you told me the other night. . .it’s only made me know that you’re the right one, for sure. Please, Frankie?”
She stood and slowly shook her head. It could be all her dreams coming true. Everything her heart wanted. She forced her eyes to his cobalt gaze. “I don’t know. Even if all those things you just said about me were true, I’m just afraid we’d be like two mules meeting each other head-on on a one-mule bridge.”
Seth smiled and touched her cheek. “If it comes to that, I promise I’ll back up on that bridge for you, Frankie. I‘ll never let you down.”
She shivered at his touch and blinked back the tears that stung her eyes. “You’d do that?” No one had ever cared for her like this before, putting her before themselves. It was hard to believe.
He nodded and leaned closer. “I love you, Frankie. More than life itself.” He paused and narrowed his eyes. “And I want you to know that I love Charlie, too. He’s a good kid. I’ll do my best to be a good father to him. Just. . .please. Please marry me. I don’t think I can live in that house without you and Charlie.”
She sucked in her breath. Her voice was a whisper. “Charlie. How will I ever tell him?”
He gathered her hands in his. “We’ll do it together. And he’ll love you just like he does now. I promise.”
Her eyes met his. “I don’t think you can promise me that, Seth.”
He lowered his face closer to hers. “Marry me, Frankie. We’ll work it out. I do promise you that.”
She threw herself into his arms and sobbed. His voice rumbled in his chest as she pressed her face against him.
“I take it that’s a ‘yes’?”
She pulled back her tear-stained face and smiled up at him. “Of course it is.”
“That’s all I wanted to hear,” he said as he pulled her closer and pressed his lips to hers.
Table of Contents
Preface
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Epilogue
Preface
Mr. Goff’s steely eyes stared over the rim of his glasses. “Everything belongs to the estate. You will take what you have been allowed and nothing else, Miss Fleming.” He hesitated before he finished. “And if you are caught taking more, you will be arrested for thievery.”
Addie swallowed the hot bile that rose in her throat. Why. . .why?. . .fear and fury raged in her whole being. Her hands folded together in an effort to curb the trembling in her fingers. How dare Cousin Vance treat her in this manner, refusing her the belongings of her own mother. What a coward he was to have his solicitor stand between them.
She cleared her throat. “I would like to personally speak to my cousin about this matter.” Let the spineless excuse for a man speak for himself. How brave would he be looking her in the eye?”
Mr. Goff closed the folder before him and smiled. Not even a hint of cowardice showed on his face. “I’m afraid that won’t be possible. Mr. Wellington, now Lord Benchley, has ordered that you be gone from the premises two days before he and Lady Pamela arrive. You will be safely on your way to America by that time.”
Chapter 1
Addie opened the door to her room and took a careful look in each direction of the empty hallway. Her heart pounded in her chest, bounding twice as fast as the beat of the tall clock in the alcove by the stairs. She closed her eyes and listened for the slightest sound of a footstep, or possible chair scraping the floor in any of the bedrooms. Silence.
She took a deep breath. Really, Addie, get a hold on yourself. It’s only right. This has been your home for twenty-two years. Mother would have wanted it this way.
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