ONCE A FOOL was soundly thrashed during the night and the next morning everyone made fun of him. “You should thank God,” he said, “that the night was clear; otherwise I would have played a trick on you.” “What trick? Tell us!” “I would have hidden myself.”
THREE TRAVELERS dined at an inn, then continued on their way. “Well, my friends,” said one of them, “it seems to me that we paid a very high price for our dinner!” “Well, although I spent a great deal,” said another, “I got my money’s worth.” “How?” “Didn’t you notice? As soon as the host looked away, I snatched a handful of salt from the salt cellar, and crammed it into my mouth.”
A PEASANT bought a quart of wine, drank it, and felt no effects. He bought a pint—and still was not drunk. He drank a half-pint and became drunk. Then he began to feel sorry for himself: “Why did I buy the quart and the pint? I should have bought the half-pint to begin with. That would have done the job!”
SNOW WHITE AND THE FOX
ONCE THERE WERE an old man and his wife who had a granddaughter, Snow White. Her little friends wanted to go to the woods for berries and asked her to join them. For a long time the old couple would not consent, but after many entreaties they let her go, telling her on no account to separate from her friends. But walking in the woods and picking berries, shrub after shrub, bush after bush, Snow White did become separated from her friends. They hallooed and hallooed her but Snow White did not hear them. Night fell and her friends went home.
Seeing that she was all alone, Snow White climbed up into a tree and began to weep bitterly, saying to herself: “Ai, ai, Snow White, little dove, grandfather and grandmother had a little granddaughter, Snow White; some girls lured her to the woods, and having lured her there, abandoned her.” A bear came by and asked: “Why are you weeping, Snow White?” “How can I help weeping, little father bear? I am grandfather’s and grandmother’s only granddaughter, Snow White; some girls lured me to the woods, and having lured me there, abandoned me.” “Come down, I will carry you home.” “No, I am afraid of you, you will devour me.”
The bear left her. Again she began to cry, saying: “Ai, ai, Snow White, ai, ai, little dove!” A wolf came by and asked: “Why are you weeping, Snow White?” She answered him as she had answered the bear. “Come down, I will carry you home.” “No, I am afraid of you, you will devour me.”
The wolf left her and Snow White wept again, saying: “Ai, ai, Snow White, ai, ai, little dove!” A fox came by and asked: “Why are you weeping, Snow White?” “How can I help weeping, little fox? Some girls lured me to the woods, and having lured me, abandoned me.” “Come down, I will carry you home.”
Snow White came down, sat on the fox’s back, and the fox darted off with her; she ran up to the house and with her tail began to knock at the gate. “Who is there?” they called from within. The fox answered that she had brought home to the old man and old woman their granddaughter, Snow White. “Ah, our beloved, come in, come in, where shall we seat you and what shall we offer you?” They brought out milk, eggs, and cheese curds, and began to feast the fox for her kindness. But the fox asked that a chicken be brought out into the field as a reward. The old couple said farewell to the fox, put a chicken in one bag and a dog in another, and took the bags to the place named by the fox. There they let the chicken out: the fox had no sooner jumped upon it than they let out the dog. Seeing the dog, the fox rushed into the woods and never came back.
FOMA BERENNIKOV
ONCE UPON A TIME there lived an old woman who had a one-eyed son named Foma Berennikov. One day he went to plow his field with his wretched horse. He was suddenly overcome by misery and sat down on a mound of earth, to ease himself; the flies buzzed and buzzed around the dung. He seized a twig, beat the swarm of flies, and began to count how many he had killed. He counted five hundred of them and many of them were still uncounted. Foma decided that they were numberless. He came to his horse and found twelve gadflies sitting on it; he slew them all. Then he returned to his mother and asked her for her solemn blessing: “I have slain countless small fry,” he said, “and twelve mighty heroes. Let me go forth, mother, to do great deeds, for plowing the land is not a hero’s business but a peasant’s.” His mother gave him her blessing, praying that he might do great deeds and carry out heroic exploits. He hung his best basket at his girdle, took his blunt scythe off his shoulders, and placed it in the basket.
He traveled along the road in unfamiliar country till he came to a post, and he wrote with chalk on this post—for although he had neither gold nor silver in his pocket, he did happen to have some chalk. He wrote: “Champion Foma Berennikov, who slew twelve mighty heroes at one blow and an unnumbered army in addition, passed this way.” Having written this, he went on. Ilya Muromets traveled along the same road, came to the post, beheld the inscription, and said: “Here is the champion’s mark; he does not spend gold nor silver, only chalk.” And he wrote in silver: “Following Foma Berennikov, Champion Ilya Muromets passed this way.” He overtook Foma Berennikov and said (apparently the chalk inscription had impressed him): “Mighty Foma Berennikov, where shall I ride—in front of you or behind you?” “Ride behind me,” answered Foma.
Young Aliosha Popovich traveled the same road; he came to the same post and from afar saw an inscription blazing like fire on the post. He read the inscriptions of Foma Berennikov and Ilya Muromets, drew pure gold from his pocket, and wrote: “Following Ilya Muromets, Aliosha Popovich passed this way.” He overtook Ilya Muromets and said: “Tell me, Ilya Muromets, shall I ride in front of you or behind you?” “Ask not me but my elder brother, Foma Berennikov.” Young Aliosha Popovich rode up to Foma Berennikov. “Brave Foma Berennikov, where shall Aliosha Popovich ride?” “Ride behind us.”
They traveled along the road in unfamiliar country till they came to green gardens. Ilya Muromets and Aliosha Popovich pitched their white tents and Foma Berennikov spread his pair of drawers. These gardens belonged to the Prussian king, and the Chinese king, aided by six mighty champions, was at that time waging war on the Prussian king. And the Prussian king sent a letter to Foma Berennikov, saying: “The Chinese king is waging war against me, the Prussian king; will you aid me?” Foma was not strong in the art of reading; he gazed at the letter, shook his head, and said: “Very well.”
The Chinese king approached the city. Ilya Muromets and young Aliosha Popovich came to Foma Berennikov and spoke these words: “They are attacking the king, approaching his city; we must defend him. Will you go yourself or send us?” “You shall go, Ilyushka Muromets!” Ilya Muromets slew all the attackers. Then the Chinese king sent forth his six champions and another unnumbered host of troops. Ilya Muromets and Aliosha Popovich came to Foma Berennikov saying: “Tell us, Foma Berennikov, will you go yourself or will you send us?” “You shall go, Aliosha Popovich, my young brother!” Young Aliosha Popovich rode forth and slew the host of troops and the six mighty champions. The Chinese king said: “I have still another champion, whom I have up till now kept for breeding purposes; now I will let him fight too.”
So he brought an unnumbered host of troops and with them his secret mighty champion, and the king said to him: “The Russian champion beats us not by force but by cunning; now do everything that the Russian champion does.” Ilya Muromets and young Aliosha Popovich came to Foma Berennikov asking: “Will you go yourself or will you send us?” “I shall go myself. Bring me my horse!” The champions’ horses were grazing in the open field and Foma’s stood near by, eating oats. Ilya Muromets came to Foma’s horse and it began to rear and snap! Ilya Muromets grew angry, took Foma’s horse by the tail, and flung him across the hedge. Young Aliosha Popovich said to him: “Did not Foma Berennikov see us? He will punish us for this!” “Apparently his strength is not in his horse but in himself,” said Ilya Muromets and brought the wretched nag to Foma Berennikov.
Foma bestrode the horse and thought to himself: “Let them kill me! It won’t be all at once.” He rode forward, bending down to the horse’s man
e and blinking his eyes. The Chinese champion, remembering the king’s instructions, also bent down to his horse’s mane and blinked. Foma got off his horse, sat on a stone, and began to sharpen his scythe; the Chinese champion too got off his mighty horse and began to sharpen his sword. He saw that Foma Berennikov was one-eyed and thought: “He has closed one eye; I will be even trickier and close both eyes.”
He had no sooner closed his eyes, than Foma Berennikov cut off his head. Foma took the champion’s mighty steed, tried to mount it, but could not. So Foma tied the mighty steed to a hundred-year-old oak, climbed up the tree, and leaped upon the steed. As soon as the steed felt a rider on his back he rushed forward, tearing out the oak with its roots; he galloped with all his mighty strength, dragging the enormous oak after him. Foma Berennikov cried: “Help, help!” But the stupid Chinamen did not know the Russian language and from fear took to their heels. The mighty horse trampled them under his hoofs and smote them with the hundred-year-old oak; he slew them all to the last man.
Now the Chinese king wrote a letter to Foma Berennikov, saying: “Never again shall I wage war against you.” That promise was just what Foma wanted. Ilya Muromets and young Aliosha Popovich marveled at Foma Berennikov.
Now Foma went to the Prussian king. “What shall I reward you with?” asked the king. “Take as much gold from my treasure as you will, or half of my glorious kingdom, or my beautiful daughter.” “Give me the beautiful daughter,” Foma replied, “and invite to the wedding my younger brothers, Ilya Muromets and young Aliosha Popovich.” And Foma Berennikov married the beautiful princess.
Thus not only mighty men have luck! He who shouts loudest about himself fares best.
THE PEASANT, THE BEAR, AND THE FOX
A PEASANT WAS PLOWING a field. A bear came to him and said: “Peasant, I will break your bones.” “No, do not touch me; I am sowing turnips here, and I will take only the roots for myself and give you the tops.” “So be it!” said the bear. “But if you cheat me, do not dare to come into my forest for wood.” Having said this, he went off into the thickets. Harvest time came; the peasant dug the turnips and the bear came out of the thicket, saying: “Now, peasant, let us share!” “Very well, little bear; I will bring the tops.” And the peasant brought him a cartful of leaves and stalks. The bear was satisfied that the division was honest.
The peasant loaded his turnips on a cart and started driving to town to sell them. The bear met him and asked: “Peasant, where are you going?” “I am going to town, little bear, to sell my roots.” “Let me taste one of those roots.” The peasant gave him a turnip. When the bear ate it he began to roar: “Aha, so you’ve cheated me, peasant! Your roots are sweet. Do not dare come to me for wood; I will tear you to pieces.” The peasant returned from town and was afraid to go to the forest. He burned his shelves and his benches and his tubs, but in the end there was nothing he could do—he had to go to the forest. He drove in quietly; from somewhere a fox came running. “Why do you walk on tiptoe, little peasant?” she asked. “I am afraid of the bear; he is angry at me and has threatened to tear me to pieces.” “Don’t fear the bear. Chop your wood, and I will make noises like those the hunters make. If the bear asks, ‘What is this?’ say: ‘It is a bear and wolf hunt.’ ”
The peasant began to cut wood. Suddenly the bear rushed toward him, crying: “Hey, old man, what is this noise?” The peasant said: “It is a bear and wolf hunt.” “Oh, little peasant, put me in your sledge, cover me with wood, and tie me with a rope; they will think I am a log.” The peasant put him in the sledge, tied him with a rope, and hit him on the head with the butt end of his ax until he was dead. The fox came and said: “Where is the bear?” “He is dead.” “Well, little peasant, now you must treat me to something.” “Please, little fox, come to my house; I shall indeed treat you.”
The peasant drove home and the fox ran ahead of him; when the peasant was close to his house, he whistled to his dogs and set them on the fox. The fox ran to the wood, jumped into a hole to hide, and said: “O little eyes, what did you do while I was running?” “O little fox, we saw to it that you did not stumble.” “And you, little ears, what did you do?” “We listened all the time to hear whether the hounds were far behind.” “And you, tail, what did you do?” “I,” said the tail, “threw myself between your legs to entangle you, so that you would fall and be torn to pieces by the dogs.” “Ah, you scoundrel! Let the dogs eat you then.” And sticking her tail out of the hole, the fox cried: “Eat the fox’s tail, dogs!” The dogs dragged the fox out by the tail and strangled her.
So does it often happen: because of the tail, the head perishes.
GOOD ADVICE
ONCE THERE WAS a wealthy merchant who died leaving a son called Ivan the Luckless. Ivan squandered all his wealth on drink and revelry and then went to look for work. He walked in the market and a very handsome fellow he was. At that time a lovely maiden, the daughter of a merchant, was sitting in her window embroidering a carpet with various silks. When she saw the merchant’s son she fell in love with him. “Let me marry him,” she said to her mother. At first the old woman would not hear of it but later she talked matters over with her husband. “Perhaps his luck will be improved by his wife’s,” she said. “For our daughter was born with a veil over her face and a silver spoon in her mouth.” So they assented to their daughter’s wish and gave her to Ivan in marriage. She bought cotton, embroidered a carpet, and sent her husband to sell it. “Sell this carpet for a hundred rubles,” she said. “But if you meet a virtuous man, give it to him in exchange for a piece of good advice.”
Ivan met an old man, who began to bargain for the carpet. He agreed to buy it for a hundred rubles, took out the money, and said: “Which do you prefer—money or a piece of good advice?” The merchant’s son thought and thought: he had not forgotten what his wife had told him. “Give me your advice,” he said. “Do not fear anything before death,” said the old man. Then he took the carpet and left. The merchant’s son went home and told his wife all that had happened; she thanked him, bought silk, embroidered another carpet, and again sent her husband to sell it. “Sell it for five hundred rubles,” she said, “but if you meet a good man, give it to him in exchange for a piece of good advice.” The merchant’s son went to the market; he met the same old man, who agreed to buy the carpet for five hundred rubles and as he took out the money said: “But if you prefer, I will give you a piece of good advice.” “Here is the carpet; give me your good advice.” “Keep cool, use your judgment, don’t cut off a head,” said the old man. Then he took the carpet and left. The merchant’s son returned home and told his wife all that had happened, but she did not say a word.
One day the merchant’s son’s uncles made ready to sail across the sea and trade in foreign lands; the merchant’s son somehow managed to rig up a ship, said farewell to his wife, and went with them. They sailed upon the ocean; suddenly a sea monster came out of the water. “Give us a Russian man to judge a dispute,” said the monster to the merchants. “I will bring him back.” The uncles thought and thought, then came to their nephew and asked him to go into the sea. He recalled the old man’s advice—“Do not fear anything before death”—and went into the sea with the monster. There he found the Sea Fate trying to solve the question of which is the most precious—gold, silver, or copper. “If you settle this problem,” said the Sea Fate, “I will reward you.” “Certainly copper is more valuable than the other metals,” said the merchant’s son. “For without copper one cannot settle an account; with copper one has kopeks and pennies, with copper one can also make a ruble; you cannot bite that off gold or silver.” “You are right,” said the Sea Fate. “Go back to your ship.” The monster took him back to his ship and he found it loaded to the brim with precious stones.
The uncles had sailed far ahead, but the merchant’s son caught up with them and began to quarrel with them as to whose merchandise was better. They said to him: “Nephew, you have only one ship, we have a hundred.” They quarrele
d and quarreled, then the uncles grew angry and went to complain about him to the king. At first the king wanted to have the merchant’s son hanged without trial for contradicting his uncles, but later he asked that the merchandise be brought to him for inspection. The uncles brought gold and silken fabrics, and the king was lost in contemplation of them. “Now let me see your merchandise,” he finally said to the merchant’s son. “Sire, order your windows to be closed; I want to show you my merchandise in the dark.” The king ordered the windows to be closed; the merchant’s son drew a precious stone from his pocket and it illumined everything. “Your merchandise is better, merchant’s son. For that, take all your uncles’ ships!”
He took his uncles’ ships, traded for exactly twenty years, acquired much goods of every kind, and returned home with enormous, countless riches. He entered his house and beheld his wife lying in bed with two young fellows. His heart boiled with rage and he drew out his sharp saber: “Now I will slay my wife’s friends,” he thought. But then he recalled the old man’s good advice: “Keep cool, use your judgment, don’t cut off a head.” He roused his wife and she jumped up and began to nudge the young fellows, saying: “My children, your father has come back!” Then the merchant’s son learned that in his absence his wife had borne him twins.
HORNS
ONCE THERE WAS a laborer to whom God had given great strength. He learned that a dragon was haunting the king’s daughter, and he boasted that he alone could destroy this terrible beast. The king’s men heard his boasts and they pressed him: “Go, laborer, heal the princess!” If the ale is drawn it must be drunk; so the laborer went to the king and said: “I can heal the princess; what will I receive for my trouble?” The king was overjoyed and said: “I will give you the princess in marriage.” The laborer asked for seven oxhides, iron nuts, iron claws, and an iron hammer. He donned the seven oxhides and the iron claws, filled his pocket with nuts, real ones and iron ones, took the big hammer in his hands, and went to the princess’ room.
Russian Fairy Tales (Pantheon Fairy Tale and Folklore Library) Page 27