by Faith S Lynn
“Some would say so.”
“I say so.”
I let out a laugh because she sounds just like Amanda. “So does my best friend, Amanda. She is always telling me to cool it on the honesty.”
“I like her already!” she states.
I slide down the wall to the floor and fold my arms around my knees. “Yeah, she is pretty awesome.”
Lynkin
The trip to the bar is a blank. I don’t remember getting in the car or any of the turns it took to get here. But here I am, sitting on this hard-as-hell stool with shots of Jack in front of me. It’s five o’clock on a Sunday and I am here, but I am not the only one. The town nut job, Merle, is here, too. That doesn’t make me feel any better.
I take one shot, then another, and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. I look over the place that I worked all through college. It hasn’t changed much at all in the two years I have been away. Away working my ass off for a good life, and now it is all gone. I slam my fist hard against the top of the bar. Whiskey comes splashing out of the shot glasses that I haven’t downed yet. I’m not going there. I came here to forget, even if just for a little while. Down goes another shot.
“Boy, you look like you are about to cause some trouble.” I jerk my head only to find crazy Merle standing next to me. “I’ll be damned, it’s Lynkin Conner!” he slurs as he throws his hands in the air, nearly knocking himself over, but luckily there is a stool behind him that he just sits down on.
“Hello, Merle,” I grind out.
“What are you beating up on this sad bar top for?” he asks and leans over inspecting the spot where my knuckles put an indention in the old wood. “What’d it ever do to you?”
“Not a damn thing.” I don’t give him any more than that. I know if I give him an inch, he will run a mile with it and I am not in the mood to deal with his shit right now.
“Ya know, drinking doesn’t solve your problems, don’t ya, son?”
“Yes, I am aware, sir,” I reply.
“Then what are you doing?” he asks seriously.
“To be honest, I’m not sure what I am doing anymore, sir,” I say honestly.
He lets out a laugh. “Sir. You are the only person that has ever called me that in this town.” He looks distant for a minute then continues, “I will give you the best advice I ever received in my life.”
He pats me once on the back and that’s when I know I might as well give in. He isn’t leaving me alone with my alcohol. “What’s that old man?”
“Forget it!” he exclaims.
I shake my head at him and laugh. “Real good advice.”
“Well that is just scratching the surface of the advice, son.”
“Ok, then elaborate on it, please.”
“The things that piss you off or get you down, they are the proverbial shit in your life. Just drop it and move on, because it’s not worth the time you will lose stressing over it. Life is short. Make it worthwhile, because you only get one shot at it,” he explains.
I know he means well, but this is the kind of thing I have heard my whole life. Life is short, live it while you’re young. Mistakes are just lessons to learn from. Blah, blah, blah. “I hear you.” Is all I say to him and turn back to wave down the bartender on shift.
“No, you don’t. It’s ok though, because you will soon enough,” he says with a pat to my back. Then, he stands up and walks out of the bar. Well, more like staggers out.
The bartender wipes the counter off and places two full shot glasses in front of me. From the corner of my eye, I see someone walking up to me. I take one of the shots before I brave a look over my shoulder at the person. I’m not in the mood for company, but apparently no one gets that. I turn around and snap out, “What?”
“Oh, I’m sorry Lynkin. I was just coming over to say hi while I was on my break. But, I’ll just leave ya alone,” a pretty brunette waitress says as she pulls the apron back over her head.
As she grabs the strings to tie around her back I stop her. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so rude. Just not having a really good day.”
“Really, its fine I need to get back to work anyways, Lynkin,” she replies.
“No, see it’s not fine. It isn’t enough that I snapped at you, but it seems that you know me but I don’t remember you. And that makes it worse.”
“Oh. You really don’t remember me?” She pauses to sigh. “I’m Sam. You know. The ‘new girl in town.’”
“The new girl in town? This town hasn’t had anyone new in five years.” I say.
“That’s exactly why I am still called the new girl.”
“Sam? Oh, hell. You’ve grown a lot since I last saw you.” I mean this girl went from pigtails and braces to short shorts and a barely there tank top. She looks good. “Are you even old enough to work in here?”
“Yes, I turned 18 a couple of months ago. Anyways, I’ve got to get back to work before Jennifer gets here in ten minutes. My shift is over at eleven if you want to come back and maybe get something to eat together,” she says with a blush.
“I would love to, but I really can’t. Wait, did you just say Jen’s shift starts in ten minutes?” I ask her.
“Um, yeah.”
I take the last shot and race out the door. I reach in my pocket for my keys when I get to my black four door jeep, the last piece of my hard work I have left. And that’s not because I get to keep her. Nope. It’s because they haven’t come to take her from me, yet. I really shouldn’t be driving it with all that I had to drink in there, but then again what does it matter? It won’t be mine soon, anyway.
Fuck it. I run my hand over the hood as I make my way to my door. I might as well enjoy her while I have her, and if that means they get it wrecked, so be it. I turn the key over and listen to her roar to life. The wheel vibrates under my hand when I rev up the engine, and adrenaline pushes through my veins. What a high. I put it in drive and floor it, kicking up dirt from the parking lot. I leave behind nothing but a dust cloud blocking out the lights from the bar.
What the hell am I doing? I can’t believe I have stooped to the level of kidnapping. What do I really expect to get out of this? That Carl Donovan is just going to hand over his money and that Sage isn’t going to go telling everyone who was holding her? That’s wishful thinking. All I can get out of all this is jail time and disappointing my mom.
With the gas pedal to the floor, I don’t even take the time to stop or even look when I bust through red lights or stop signs. If this whole thing doesn’t work out I am no use to my mother anyway. All the hard work was for nothing. I am right back to this one horse town and back to not being able to support my mother. I will never be able to amount to anything, no matter what I do. These past three years are just proof of that. Sure, mom will be devastated that I am gone but she is tough. She’ll survive. Plus, Jen will look in on her for me.
All of a sudden, the car jerks to the right and I am spinning uncontrollably. It takes me a minute but eventually I get it righted and to a stop. I jump out of the car and look around to see what happened. There is no one else around. I walk up to the road and check it out for anything I could have hit to make the car jerk like it did. All I find is a big ass pothole. It is so big, that I am surprised the jeep didn’t flip.
“That’d do it,” I say to myself and make my way back to the car. I walk around it to make sure there is no damage done to it, and I’ll be damned if there isn’t a flat fucking tire. “Just fucking great!”
Now, I am going to be really late getting back. I won’t have the chance to go out in an adrenaline blaze of glory after Jen gets ahold of me for making her late. Life fucking sucks. I hall back and kick the side panel with all I got. It feels so good that that I end up kicking it a few more times, leaving the panel completely caved in.
Once my complete ragger is over, I get the tools and spare tire from the trunk and get to work changing it. It ends up making my anger worse, because the jack keeps sinking in the dirt and it tak
es me another half an hour to find something I can place under it.
It’s already two hours past the time Jen was supposed to be at the bar when I pull into the motel parking lot. I don’t rush getting out and going inside. I know what’s waiting for me in there. The same thing that caused me to leave. One girl that I would do anything for because she is my best friend and always has been there for me, and another girl- no, woman that- that can fuck my emotions all to hell in the blink of a damn eye. And the both of them are ready to tear out each other’s throats.
I hesitate with my hand on the door knob, not ready to really delve into the ass chewing I am about to get from Jen for possibly making her lose her job. I suck it up and push open the door. I’m sure if my jaw could hit the floor it would have when I see the two of them sitting cross legged on the bed smiling at each other. Not only that, but Sage’s hair is wet like she got out of the shower and is wearing one of my damn flannel button up tops.
However, the smiles on their faces fall when they see me. The hostility they throw my way is like being the only Tennessee football fan in a house full of Georgia fans. Not good.
“Where the hell have you been? I had to be at work 2 hours ago!” Jen yells from her spot on the bed.
“I’m sorry, the car had a blowout and I had to change the damn tire out in Mr. Johnson’s field,” I explain.
“Why where you out there? You said you were going to the bar, but Mr. Johnson’s farm is on the other side of town.”
“I don’t want to talk about it, ok?”
“Fine! I’ve got to go anyways.” She gets up and glances over her shoulder at Sage, “Night.”
“Night,” Sage replies back to her.
When the door slams, I am left standing there thinking what the fuck just happened?
Sage
“You are more of a dick than I thought you were,” I whisper under my breath.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he asks me.
“What else is it supposed to mean? You. Are. An. Ass. It’s pretty simple. This girl has done every stupid thing you have ever asked her to do. Now you have her sitting here, possibly racking up on prison time and now you probably just got her fired.” I shake my head.
“What the fuck happened while I was gone? Did you turn my best friend against me or something?”
“If only. That girl couldn’t hate you if she wanted to. I’m not going to lie. I tried my damnedest to talk her into it and letting me go, but she wouldn’t have it. She is so in love with you I don’t know if anything could knock any sense into her,” I tell him.
His face scrunches up before he holds two fingers up and ticks them off as he says, “One, she isn’t in love with me, she loves me because I’m her friend. Two, she won’t turn her back on me because we have been friends all our lives.”
“Whatever you need to tell yourself to make yourself feel better,” I say. I crawl under the covers and turn my back to him.
I hear him moving around and then the TV cut on. I have got to figure out a way to get out of here. I am sure everyone is worried sick about me. Especially Amanda. We don’t normally go a few hours without checking in with each other and it’s been…wait, how long have I been here? A day, days, weeks?
Before I can figure out in my head how long I have been in this hell, the volume on the TV goes up. I sit up to tell him to turn it back down when I see my face on the screen. The 11 o’clock news is broadcasting a missing person report, and I am the missing person. Yes! I knew they would be looking for me soon.
It won’t be long now, and I will be back at home spending some much needed time with my fiancé. He has been working so much recently we haven’t had any ‘us’ time and now I’ve been kidnapped. Maybe, we should take a vacation somewhere exotic. I’m pulled out of my daydreaming when my dad comes on the screen. He is holding a picture of him, mom, and me at the company picnic last summer.
“Please, if anyone knows the whereabouts of our daughter, let us know. She isn’t one to just take off without letting someone know. This is why we are positive it is foul play. I beg of you, if you have her and let her come back home unharmed I promise we will forget about all of this nonsense. We just want our baby back,” my father finishes with a tear rolling down his check as he reaches back and grabs my mother’s hand to pull her up beside him.
Her eyes look dark and sunk in. She’s probably been overdoing her medication. That’s how she copes with overly stressful situations. Dammit, I need to get home.
“Look, there is your out. He just said let me go unharmed and he will forget about it.” I say hopeful.
“You expect me to believe that he would honor that?” he asks.
“He just said so on television. He has to honor it. The whole state and possibly the nation heard him say it.” I explain.
“So does that mean I should believe everything that I see on TV? That’s the stupidest thing I have heard come out of your mouth yet,” his voice drips with sarcasm.
“Please. Just…just let me go and I will make sure that he sticks by what he said. I have to get home.”
“Why? What’s so awesome about your life? You have money and are spoiled to the top by your father. That’s it.”
“I have a great life, thank you. I have a great best friend who is always there for me. My fiancé is an amazing man who works hard and is very successful. Despite what you think, my father is a very good man and loves me and my mother unconditionally. So yeah, I think my life is pretty awesome,” I say with a nod of my head.
“Oh, really? I just didn’t expect you to be as damn clueless about your life as you are.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you have everything wrong. The father that apparently loves your mother so dearly is who keeps her high on her pills so that he doesn’t have to deal with her ranting. That fiancé that you love so much, well he could give two shits about you. All you are is a ticket to the throne to him. He and that best friend that is always there for you? They’ve been screwing behind your back for the past five years.” He huffs out a laugh, “Pretty amazing life you have there.”
What the hell is he talking about? He doesn’t even know me, how would he know more about my life than I do? “Wow, do you spend much time fantasizing about how awful you want my life to be or something?”
He breaks out into full on laughter and doesn’t stop until he is wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. “Beauty, I have been far too busy to fantasize about your life. I hate to break it to ya, but all that shit’s true. My advice would be to drop the douche bag as soon as this shit is over.”
“And when exactly will that be, Lynkin?” I question.
“At this point, I’d just be happy with enough to know my mother is taken care of, I could care less what happens to me anymore,” he says distantly.
Is he suicidal now? “What the hell?” I say to myself.
He stares off for a while before he turns to look at me. When he starts talking, it’s just that, talking. Like we are friends and he is telling me about himself.
“Growing up, I didn’t have much. It was just my mom and me. She worked at a nursing home in Savannah, so with the sixty hour work weeks and commute to and from work, I didn’t see her much. She became pregnant with me in high school, and the bastard that helped in the deed told her to get bent. Her parents wouldn’t make any effort to help her. When they found out about me, they said that since she got herself in the predicament, she could get herself out of it.” He shakes his head and laughs, “She showed them what she was made of, too. That woman is the strongest person I have ever known. She has never needed anyone’s help. Ever since I came along she has been on her own, working her hands to the bone to take care of us both. She has always been able to provide for me by herself.”
He sniffles and shakes his head. When his eyes meet mine again, he has a smile on his face. “She is tough, but age and her job at that nursing home eventually got to her. Th
e doctors said she couldn’t do all the hard labor she was doing, and put her on light duty when I was in my junior year of high school. She couldn’t stand the fact that I got a job to help out, but it had to be done. I have helped her ever since. Now though, she can’t work at all because her back is so bad.
She used to complain about the conditions at the nursing home she worked in and at others she had helped out in. Now, I am the only thing keeping her from going to a state nursing home herself.”
I don’t know what to say to him. His mother sounds like an incredible woman, far better than my own. My mother only cares about status and appearances, and when she can’t deal with reality, she takes enough pills to not care. “I still don’t understand what any of this has to do with my father.”
“When I first met your father, I thought he was the kindest man ever. I though he was the man that you still see him as. He found me while I was in college, and after talking to a few of my professors, offered me an internship at his company, working as his right hand man.”
Oh shit! I knew I had heard that from somewhere. I remember when daddy came home that day, he kept going on and on about this bright young man he had found and had high hopes for.
“I interned until I graduated, and he hired me in full time. You couldn’t imagine how high I put that man up in my book. I was a nobody. I had to work at the bar here in town every night just to help cover what my scholarship wouldn’t pay for. Your father was like a God send to me. He took a risk on someone like me, and I worked my ass off for him to prove that he made the right choice. I was able to take care of my mother and myself without the stress and anxiety of not having enough money. Then, a couple of months ago, I was called to the conference room. What I found in there were all three of the owners and a separation notice.”
“Why?” I ask. My father has never said anything but good things about his right hand man. He had to have had a good reason to let him go.
“They said I was stealing from them,” he states flatly.