by Sarah Adams
“I know, but I just checked the mail and there’s a letter you might want to see,” Clarissa said.
“Whatever it is will just have to wait until I get home,” Jared said, “I’ll see you later, love ya, Bookworm.”
“I love you too,” she called back to him and sprinted back up the steps.
“He’s going to be furious when he gets home,” Clarissa laughed to herself, “Like seriously mad at himself for not hearing me out.”
She looked down at the letter and smiled nervously.
“Aaron Thomas,” was written along with a return address, in messy handwriting that reminded Clarissa of the notes Jared had written her four years ago, that were now tucked neatly away in a keepsake box, stored on the top shelf of their closet.
It still felt weird to think of what was once ‘her closet’ as ‘their closest’, but it was a nice feeling, too. Jared had moved in with her a little over a year ago.
“It only makes sense,” Clarissa told him when she first brought it up, “We’re losing sleep and driving like maniacs, to spend every night together. We’re nearly always either both here or at your place.”
“Are you really asking me to move in with you, Bookworm?” he had asked.
Clarissa smiled and shook her head at the nickname that he still called her, but now the word were was more like a term of endearment.
“Yes,” she nodded.
The next weekend he moved into Clarissa’s apartment, because it was nicer, not to mention bigger and with a better bathroom. All of these things she had used in the debate of where they would live.
Clarissa laid the letter aside and finished washing the dishes. She didn’t have class today, but she had to go into work tonight. Tomorrow was Tuesday her busiest day of the week, when classes and work kept her out for a straight fourteen hours. It was Tuesdays that made her grateful for Jared.
It always made her smile when she thought about how she’d sleepily crawl into bed next to him at the end of the worst days and he’d make her feel better. Her class schedule was busier this year than it had been the previous two years, because she was finally taking the classes that actually mattered to her major of Elementary Education.
Clarissa spent the day catching up on homework and surfing the web, but her mind wasn’t on her tasks. She kept wondering if getting a letter from Aaron would be a good thing or if it would turn Jared back into Skull? Sure, she’d fallen in love with him when he was still stomping around like a bad ass and a bully, but Clarissa preferred the quiet life they had now. For a moment she considered throwing the letter away, but knew she couldn’t do that to Jared. Such an act would be a violation of everything they had built together.
“Hey,” Jared said, kicking off his shoes at the door.
“Your letter’s on the table,” Clarissa smiled at him.
“What’s with you and the mail today, Bookworm? You didn’t like order me another book or something did you? I still haven’t found time to make an attempt at the last one,” he laughed.
“It’s pretty good, I’ve already finished it,” Clarissa laughed, “but no, it’s a letter, Jared, not a book.”
“Good, hopefully it’s a short letter because I’m starving and thought we’d hit the diner around the corner before you head to work,” Jared said and gave Clarissa what was meant to be a quick kiss, but she put a hand on either side of his face and plunged her tongue into his mouth.
“I missed you too,” he laughed when the kiss broke.
“I love you,” Clarissa said.
“I love you too,” Jared said arching an eyebrow and setting down his bag, “Is everything o...”
Jared’s words fell silent and Clarissa didn’t have to look over her shoulder to know that he had finally seen the letter.
“Aaron?” he said, his voice cracking slightly.
“That’s what I was trying to tell you this morning, baby,” Clarissa said, turning to face him.
“It’s okay,” Jared said, sitting down, “Just give me a minute.”
Clarissa nodded and sat down next to him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“I don’t know if I can read this,” he said, “I don’t want to read it if it’s bad.”
“You’ve been searching for the truth, Jared,” Clarissa smiled.
Jared nodded and carefully opened the letter. Clarissa tried not to look over his shoulder as he opened the letter, but she couldn’t resist. She had helped Jared travel to six different states in the last four years looking for this man. She had invested time and energy, sore feet and tears, not to mention having to see the look on Jared’s face every time nothing came of the trip. Six months ago Jared had finally given up on finding his brother’s whereabouts. Why was Aaron writing now? We couldn’t he have written years ago and save his brother and her all the trouble?
“Hey Kiddo,
Do you know how hard it is to find an address for you? I’ve sent three letters over the last month, but all of them have been sent back to me. I finally got in touch with mom and she said she thought you lived at this address now, but she wasn’t sure. She said you don’t talk to her anymore. What’s up with that? If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me, not her. She’s not the one who pulled a dick move, that was me, bro. That was all me.
Mom told me you’ve been running around all over the country looking for me. What’s with that crazy shit? Shouldn’t you be in school or something? Maybe getting with a girl and getting married? Hell, I told myself I wasn’t going to dance around shit when I wrote to you, but that’s what I’m doing, isn’t it?
Look, things have been rough since I left, but they’re looking up now. Two years ago I woke up in New York, at a hospital. I don’t remember going to New York, but I must have at some point, because I woke up there. The doctor’s said I had so much heroin in my system that I should have been dead. The judge I seen when I was well enough to go court, but was more lenient than I ever deserved. I went to a mental hospital for a few months, but as soon as I was back on the street – she was calling my name.
I hadn’t even been a free man a week by the time I ended up back in the hospital. I went back to court, but this time the judge wasn’t as lenient as before. He told me either I was going to rehab or he was throwing my ass in prison. I went to rehab, and although I didn’t think I would ever want to be clean, by the time the nine months were up I was clean. I’ve been clean almost a year now. It’s still hard, but it’s getting easier.
I’m working now. I got a job as a dish washer at one of the fancy restaurants. I’m thinking about moving back home, but I’m not so sure. Hell, bro, what if I just end up hanging out with the same crew I did before? I mean, shit, where’s that going to leave me? Well, anyway, write me back.
Peace Out,
Aaron.”
“Are we going to New York?” Clarissa asked, quietly.
“Not until after the semester’s over,” Jared said, “Maybe not then, either. I like it here.”
“Good,” Clarissa said giving him a quick kiss.
“I like it a lot,” Jared grinned at her.
“I like it here with you too,” Clarissa said, deepening the kiss.