I’m not sure exactly how it happened but Rachel is my person.
My only hope is that I’m hers too.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Rachel
“Let’s get this over and done with,” I confirm, after we’ve all finished breakfast. James and Ky aren’t coming with us today. I felt it best to go to this meeting with my parents with just Faye and Brad. It was difficult enough getting both my parents to agree to be in the same place at the same time on such short notice without adding any extra fuel to the fire. If I rocked up with a group, they would be instantly suspicious, and this meeting is going to suck balls as it is.
I hope they’ve taken my request on board and not brought their new partners. I could do without that shitstorm.
I’ve reserved a private suite in an exclusive five-star hotel just off Grafton Street for the meeting. My dad is already in the room when we arrive. “Hey, chick,” he says, pulling me in for a hug the second I step foot inside. “It’s so good to see you. I’ve missed you.”
The familiar scent of his aftershave is reassuring. I smile up at him, noting the few new strands of gray peppering his thick dark hair and the additional fine lines around his eyes. He’s wearing black trousers and a light blue shirt and tie, and he looks just like he did every day when he was leaving the house for work. He quit his customer service job in the insurance company the day my parents received confirmation of their lottery win, and he hasn’t done a day’s work since then, but I guess old habits die hard. “I’ve missed you, too, Dad.” I cling to him, and it’s as if I’ve regressed ten years, and I’m a desperate nine-year-old craving her dad’s attention.
“I expected you to be more tanned,” he admits, giving me a quick once-over. “Or has the temperature dropped that much already in Spain?”
I cringe, hating that I lied. I know it’s going to hurt him, but I can’t get into it until Mum arrives so I divert his attention instead. “Dad, you remember Faye?” I pull my friend over by the hand.
Dad looks up, only noticing Brad and Faye for the first time. “Of course, I do. How are you? It’s been a while.” He gives her a quick hug.
“I’m good. America is treating me well.”
He frowns a little. “You coordinated your trip?”
Brad intervenes this time, stepping forward. “It’s nice to meet you, sir.” He extends his hand.
Dad shakes it firmly, eyeing him curiously. “And you are?”
“I’m Brad.” He sends me a quick look. “I’m your daughter’s boyfriend.”
His words thrill me silly, but I shouldn’t let it go to my head. He’s only doing for me what I did for him. I know he cares about me. He couldn’t do all he’s done and not care, but I can’t jump the gun and assume he wants to be my boyfriend or that he’s even considered it, no matter how badly I want to call him that.
I startle myself with the revelation, but I can’t disguise the truth. I’m really into Brad, and, for the first time, I want to experience a proper relationship. To have what Faye has with Ky.
Dad scratches the top of his head. “But you’re American. I don’t understand.”
Mum’s arrival saves my bacon this time. She rushes into the room with a loud squeal. She has her hair dyed bright blonde, and judging by her flawless complexion and smooth forehead, I’m guessing she’s had some cosmetic work done. She’s thinner than I ever remember her being. Dressed in skinny jeans, a flimsy coral-colored blouse, and a fitted black jacket, she could easily pass for a woman ten years younger. A patterned scarf is casually draped around her neck, and she’s wearing expensive-looking wedge-heel boots. She dumps her coat on the back of the chair and approaches me. I blink a few times as she grabs me into a squeezing hug, wondering if this glamorous creature is actually my mother. I can still remember how dowdy she looked in that hideous navy-blue uniform she had to wear for work at the supermarket. I also remember the day of the lottery win when she gleefully set fire to it in the back garden.
“You look beautiful, honey,” she tells me, her gaze raking over me appreciatively. “And this is gorgeous. Is this one of your creations?” She fingers the black and red kimono-type jacket I’m wearing. I nod. “It’s stunning. My baby’s so talented.”
“What kind of a get-up is that?” Dad asks with a note of derision in his tone as he gestures toward her outfit. “You look like mutton dressed as lamb.”
“And you wouldn’t know good taste if it jumped up and bit you in the face,” my mother retorts.
“Please don’t do this,” I plead. “I have something I need to tell you both, and it’s not going to be easy, so can you agree a truce? Please. For me?”
My parents glare at each other. Dad is the first to relent. “I can agree to that if your mother does.”
“Fine,” she snaps, looking away. Her eyes spark with interest as her gaze lands on Brad, and her bad mood temporarily evaporates. “Hello. I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Rachel’s mother.” She offers her hand to him.
Brad shakes it. “Nice to meet you. I’m Brad. I’m Rachel’s boyfriend.”
Mum scans him up and down in a none-too-subtle manner, and I cringe again. What the hell has gotten into her? Turning to me, she grins. “I approve. I approve a lot.” She winks, and I cringe for a second time. This is so embarrassing.
“Geraldine! You are making a holy show of yourself,” Dad cuts in.
“What would you know,” she scoffs. “You’re nothing but an old fuddy-duddy.”
It saddens me so much that things have come to this between them. Yes, my parents didn’t have the best marriage, but it’s not like they were constantly bickering. They seemed to like each other enough while we were growing up, although I don’t recall many PDAs or loving gestures. But there weren’t many rows either.
If there’s one negative to winning all that money, the end of their marriage is it. Or maybe it’s a positive, because they clearly weren’t happy with one another, and if money was the only reason why they didn’t separate sooner, then the lottery win was a blessing in disguise. Even if I hate that thought. I don’t think anyone wants to see their parents split up and go their separate ways. Or watch as they snipe at one another with barely concealed hatred.
My family is as dysfunctional as they come, and that thought makes me sad. I know my revelation is going to devastate them, and it could be the very thing to rip us apart irreparably. Guilt waylays me, but I push it aside. It’s not my fault we’re here. That’s all on Alec.
Brad sends me an apologetic look while Faye takes matters into her own hands. “You two are a disgrace,” she says. “Your daughter needs to speak to you about something very serious, and all you can do is take pot shots at one another. You should both be ashamed of yourselves. Are you interested in hearing what Rachel has to say, or should we just leave you to it?” Planting her hands on her hips, she shoots them a frosty glare.
Both my parents look suitably chastised, and I seize the opportunity, grateful for my friend’s intervention. “Let’s sit down. I think you’ll need to be seated for this.”
I sit in the middle of Brad and Faye on one leather couch while my parents sit on the one across from us—at opposite ends, naturally.
“The first thing I have to tell you is that I’m living in Boston with Faye. I lied about being in Spain.” They don’t need to know I’m currently living with Brad. That will only divert the conversation from the main topic, so I feel justified in telling this tiny white lie.
Dad looks confused. “Why on Earth would you do that?”
“The why is the main reason I’m here today. This is not going to be easy for me to say or for you to hear, but I’ve kept this secret hidden for years, and I need to tell you what I should have told you years ago but was too afraid to say.”
Brad and Faye take my hands, interlacing our fingers. Both my parents notice.
I’m
already quaking on the inside, and my heart is banging around my ribcage in panic. Bile floods my dry mouth. It’s now or never. Drawing a huge breath, I kick this off, deciding to go straight for the jugular because there is no way to ease them gently into this. “Alec abused me for years from the time I was thirteen. He raped me repeatedly, and he was violent and sadistic. I lied to you because I fled to America to try and have a normal life, and I didn’t want you telling him where I was. But it was all to no avail, because he’s followed me there and he’s threatened me and my friends. He’s … he’s psychotic, and he needs to be locked up.”
Both my parents stare at me with shock splayed across their faces. My heart is still doing an energetic samba, and I can’t ever recall being so nervous.
“What?” Dad croaks, finally breaking the silence. He peers into my eyes. Eyes that are rapidly filling with tears. “Is this true?”
“Yes. I would never make up something as appalling as this.”
“Oh my God.” He clamps a hand over his mouth as horror fills his eyes. Mum is staring blankly ahead, and you could cut the tension with a knife. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
Mum seems to snap out of whatever daze she’s in. “Don’t tell me you actually believe these lies?” She sends an incredulous look at my father.
Brad and Faye stiffen beside me, but I can’t say I’m overly surprised. In any argument, Mum always took Alec’s side. Always. No matter what he did, she always believed his version of events. It still hurts that she doesn’t believe me though.
“You think Rachel would lie about something like this?” Dad shouts. “Grow up, woman. You’ve always been blind where that boy’s concerned. I knew there was something not quite right about him.”
“What?” I croak.
Dad props his elbows on his knees. Pained eyes meet mine. “I’ve seen glimpses of rage over the years that scared me, but I had no idea he directed any of that toward you. I had no idea that was going on. You say since you were thirteen?” I nod. “How often?” he whispers after a bit, as mum harrumphs, mumbling under her breath. She crosses her arms and glares at me.
We both ignore her.
“He crawled into my bed at least twice a week. It went on until he left for UCC. When he came home on breaks, he would try, but I took self-defense classes, and I fought him off.”
Tears pool in Dad’s eyes. “I cannot believe he did that to my little girl, and under my roof. I’m so sorry, Rachel.”
“Liar!” Mum seethes, jumping up. “Why are you lying about this? Your brother is a good boy. He always has been.” Her eyes dart wildly around the room, and she starts pacing, tugging on the ends of her hair like she always does when she’s preoccupied.
I stand up, holding my chin upright. “It saddens me that you don’t believe me, but it’s not entirely unexpected. This is one of the reasons why I didn’t come to you at the time. That and the fact he took hundreds of naked photos of me and threatened to expose me. He also said he’d rape my friends if I told anyone.”
She stops pacing, showering me with a look of horrified disgust. Quick as a flash, she closes the gap between us, jumping in front of me before I’ve had time to even acknowledge her movement. She slaps me across the face, and I stagger back, my cheek stinging. My lower lip wobbles, and a few tears slip out of my eye, but I wipe them away. She’s not going to break me. Everyone is on their feet now. Brad wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me back, shielding me. Faye takes my hand, and Dad hauls Mum back. “Are you insane, Geraldine? If you assault my daughter again, I’m calling the gardai.”
“You don’t have to worry about that,” she fumes. “I’m leaving.” She grabs her designer bag and coat and turns to level another scathing look in my direction. She jabs her finger in the air. “You have a lot to answer for, young lady, and we did not raise you to be so deceitful. I don’t know what game you’re playing, but I will not allow you to destroy your brother’s reputation.” She shakes her head, and a mix of dismay, repulsion, and anger contorts her face. She’s still shaking her head and muttering in disgust, as she strides toward the door.
Hurt is a flaming inferno inside me, and I shout at her retreating back. “Mum, you should know that a girl in Cork has filed a case against him for rape. You might not want to believe me, but it’s hard to deny the truth when a stranger confirms your son is a monster.”
I probably shouldn’t have said that, but her absolute refusal to believe anything bad about him has left a bitter taste in my mouth.
The door slams shut, and a horrid silence fills the room. Dad opens his arms. “Come here, honey.”
I don’t hesitate, throwing myself at him. The floodgates open and I sob into his chest. He sobs with me. Faye and Brad go into the other room, giving us privacy.
After we’ve both calmed down, we talk some more, and I tell him about my meeting with the solicitor and what I have planned. He apologizes for not noticing, for not being there for me, reassuring me that he will be there for me now. “I will support you and your decision to formally deal with this, but I can’t abandon your brother either. I hate him for what he’s done to you, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look him in the face again, but he’s my flesh and blood too, and he’s clearly sick.” His voice chokes up, and he buries his head in his hands. “He needs to be punished for what he’s done, but I can’t leave him to deal with that alone.”
I try to imagine what it must be like to be in Dad’s shoes. To have to decide between your two children, and I know it can’t be easy. Dad accepted my words as truth immediately, and he’s going to stand by me. He supports the need for justice, but he wants to let his son know he will support him too. Should I hate my father for that? Or can I find it in my heart to understand?
I just don’t know if I can. My emotions are a jumbled mess. “Dad, he violated me. Robbed my innocence. Did horrible things to me. Things I will never be able to tell another living soul because I cannot even form the words to describe it.” Dad’s face turns a ghastly shade of pale. “I know he’s your son, and I’m trying to imagine what it’s like for you. I’m not going to ask you to choose, but I don’t know that I can absolve you for supporting him either. It’s not like he’s going to be alone. Mother will mollycoddle him like she always does.” I can’t disguise the hurt and the anger in my tone.
Dad grasps my hands. “I’m trying to do the right thing here, but I don’t know what that is,” he admits.
“I know, Dad. I know you are.” I place a hand on his shoulder.
Brad pokes his head in the room. “Sorry to interrupt, but we’re due at the police station in an hour, and we need to leave shortly.”
“I’m ready.” I don’t have the energy to continue this conversation, and I need to find some reserves to get through the next ordeal. I stand up, eager to get the next stage over and done with before my strength fails me.
Dad lifts his head. “Can I come?”
“If that’s what you want.”
He stands up, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “I’m your father. I should be there, and I want to be there.”
My afternoon in the police station is harrowing, and it’s nighttime again by the time we leave. There is already an arrest warrant out for my brother in connection with the Cork investigation—which, it turns out, my parents had only just been made aware of—so they are going to amend the details to include questioning in my case. The female officer who took my statement was lovely, and she assured me she’s going to include a personal recommendation when the file is sent to the DPP.
For now, it seems there isn’t much more that can be done. My solicitor will work with the police to build the case, and they will keep me updated via email and phone. I’ve one final meeting in the solicitor’s office in the morning, and then we are returning to the States in the afternoon.
Dad bids me farewell, promising he will come and visit me in Bosto
n. I know he’s going to have words with Mum, and probably contact Alec, but that’s nothing to do with me now. “If you need me, honey, at any time, no matter what, you just call, and I’ll be on the next plane.”
“Thanks, Dad.” At least I can count on one parent.
“Are you sure you can’t stay longer?”
“I can’t miss any more classes, and I’ve a big project due in next week.”
“Okay, chick.” He hugs me fiercely. “Ring me tomorrow night so I know you arrived safely.”
Assuring him I will, we say our final goodbyes and part ways. I’m in a weird funk after that. We have a rather subdued meal in the hotel followed by a few drinks in the bar. Our other bestie, Jill, arrives with her boyfriend, Sam. They both live in Dublin and are attending Trinity College, which is only a short walk from our hotel. After initial casual conversation, us girls retreat to a quiet corner of the bar where I proceed to tell Jill everything. Like Faye, she’s always known I was holding something back, but she had no idea it was this.
She holds my hand firmly in hers, listening without interruption. Tears flow freely down her face. When I’ve finished explaining, she pulls me into a hug, almost squeezing me to death. Faye leaves us alone for a bit, and we talk through everything. By the time she leaves, I’m drained but happy that I’ve repaired my relationship with her and happy the most important people in my life know the truth now.
It’s after midnight by the time we retire to our respective bedrooms. I’m exhausted the second my head hits the pillow, and I fall asleep almost straightaway.
Faye, James, and Ky visit the graveyard the next morning while Brad accompanies me to the solicitors. The meeting is difficult as the team who are working on my case ask me more sensitive and intimate questions, but I do my best to answer them honestly, and Brad’s hand in mine the entire time keeps me grounded.
Saving Brad (The Kennedy Boys Book 5) Page 27