by Cat Miller
“Look, Tessa, there’s nothing I can do about the past. Saying I’m sorry is a useless and inadequate sentiment, but I’ll repeat it anyway. I’m sorry. I apologize for fucking up our lives so royally. I’m sorry I didn’t dig deeper. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to Mason before I made decisions I couldn’t take back. I’m sorry I failed you and Danielle. Most of all I’m sorry I hurt you. I would sooner take my own life than cause you another moment’s pain. I would move Heaven and Earth to make things right, to have you back in my arms if you’d just give me half a chance.”
“I … Reilly …” Tessa was off balance and grasping for the shield she’d been using to hold Griffin off since she’d been made a vampire.
“What about Doc, Tessa? Do you really want to continue to lie to me? How long did you think you could keep that going?”
“I never lied to you or anyone else,” Tessa said defensively. She wasn’t a liar.
“Yeah? Well, you sure didn’t make any effort to be forthcoming.” Griffin scowled down at Tessa.
“As if the king of keeping up appearances would know the truth when he saw it anyway. You’ve got a lot of nerve calling me a liar.”
“I noticed you don’t deny that your relationship with Doc was a lie.”
“My relationship with Reilly is none of your damn business! It wasn’t a lie! It just didn’t work out.” Tessa was getting pissed off. That was good. Anger was better than desire or hurt.
“Tell me why it didn’t work out, Tessa.” Griffin narrowed his eyes at her. “Reilly seemed pretty distraught. I can’t say that I blame him. If Reilly was the devoted partner he appeared to be, why aren’t you his mate?”
“I’m not mated to Reilly because I wasn’t in love with him and he knew it! Is that what you want to hear? Does it make you proud that I couldn’t be with another man after you? Are you happy that I was hurting alone for decades? Reilly is a good man, and I hurt him deeply! He wasn’t you, Griffin! That’s why Reilly isn’t my mate!”
Tessa was shouting, and people on the street of her peaceful town were stopping to stare. She could feel her face burning. She hadn’t meant to say that aloud. She definitely hadn’t intended to shout it for the world to hear.
Griffin gave Tessa’s arm a little jerk that knocked her off balance. She fell into his arms, and Griffin wasted no time claiming her mouth. She was stunned and stiff at first, attempting to resist the lure of Griffin’s tongue brushing against the seams of her lips. Digging his long fingers into her hair, he gave it a little tug. He’d always been a dominant lover. He wanted what he wanted when he asked for it with no hesitation. Memories she tried so hard to forget about the way Griffin had manipulated her body and brought her such intense pleasure came back to Tessa in a flash when his mouth touched hers.
Tessa sighed, resigned to her inability to reject Griffin Vaughn. It was a losing battle once her heart delivered a swift uppercut to her brain and took over the decision-making process. Tessa would love Griffin until her dying day and beyond. Being in his arms, kissing him was a temptation she couldn’t resist. Tessa opened to Griffin, allowing him to invade her senses. Stars exploded behind her eyelids when he tasted her mouth with the same possessive alpha way she remembered in her dreams. Her knees weakened. The sensation of falling made her head spin. Was it possible to literally fall for the same person twice in one lifetime?
Growling, he pulled her body flush against his. He held her like that, devouring her mouth until Tessa remembered they were standing on the street with onlookers, and she wasn’t supposed to be kissing Griffin anyway. He would hurt her again. She would never be good enough for his lofty society, nor did she want to be. Tessa pushed against his chest, and Griffin reluctantly loosened his hold, letting her back up a bit, but he didn’t release her. His eyes were black with passion. Tessa knew hers were the same. She wanted to turn away, to shut out the longing look in Griffin’s eyes. She needed to continue pretending that she didn’t love him or need him anymore, but she just couldn’t do it any longer.
“Tessa, little one, I love you. I have since the day I found you in a dirty alley, waiting to ambush a poor, defenseless vampire.” He gave her a hopeful little smile. “I never saw you coming, but you saw me, didn’t you? Please, I will beg you just for the chance to prove I can be the male you deserve.”
Holding both of Tessa’s hands in his, Griffin went down on both knees on the sidewalk.
“What are you doing? Get up.” Tessa pulled on his hands, but he wouldn’t budge.
“I love you. The words are insufficient to explain how I feel, but they are all I have. I want the world to know you are my female, my Tessa. I will do anything you ask to prove my loyalty to you above all others. I will be your servant for as long as I draw breath if you will have me. I plan to prove my devotion to our relationship in a way that is so grandiose that you’ll never doubt me again.” Griffin brought Tessa’s hands to his lips and kissed each finger tenderly. “Please, baby, please just give me one chance. I promise you’ll never regret it.”
Tessa glanced up and down the street. People were watching the scene they were making.
“Come on, Griffin. Let’s go to my place to talk.” Tessa pulled on his hands, and Griffin got to his feet with a speed that surprised her. He looked eager, and that made Tessa nervous. Griffin was never one for letting his feelings show.
“We’re almost there,” Tessa said, and she began walking again, but Griffin didn’t release her hand.
They were strolling side by side down Main Street and holding hands while Tessa’s heart banged around her chest. She allowed her fingers to wrap around Griffin’s hand, but she was fighting the smile trying to stretch her lips. She tilted her head slightly and peeked over at him. Griffin wasn’t fighting his grin at all. He was beaming like a man who’d just won the lottery. He still walked with that confident stride that let people know he was in charge, but now there was an extra air of pride in his stance. They reached Tessa’s door, and she paused on the steps. She was afraid to let Griffin inside. Tessa knew he wouldn’t hurt her physically. To the contrary, if they were alone together, Tessa knew after the kiss they’d just shared that she wouldn’t be able to resist him.
She must have hesitated for too long because Griffin decided to help her along. He stepped up behind Tessa and wrapped his big hand around her hip to pull her against his body. She leaned back into Griffin and tightened her grip on his hand.
“It’s okay, little one. I don’t have to go inside. Let’s just sit out here and talk.” Griffin spoke softly into her ear before kissing her neck. Tessa had to turn around to make sure it was still Griffin behind her. This understanding was not at all in his nature. Griffin smiled down at her, seemingly aware that he was shocking her.
Griffin was always so bossy, arrogant, and demanding. She had wanted to hate his behavior when they were younger, but she’d secretly always loved his possessiveness. There was something different about Griffin now though. He’d gotten on his knees in public. He was begging for nothing more than a chance to prove himself to Tessa. There was more give in him now. There was tenderness he hadn’t been able to express when they were younger. Tessa could almost feel his willingness to do whatever she needed him to do. In the past, Griffin was in charge at all times. This openness and softness made him even more attractive. The last thing Tessa needed was for Griffin to be more desirable.
Griffin sat down on the step and waited for Tessa to decide if she wanted to join him. He was looking up and down the street, seeming relaxed, but she knew better. Griffin’s forearms rested on his thighs. His hands hung in tight fists between his legs. He was anxious, and again, Tessa found it endearing. Griffin had hunted her down, but he wasn’t making demands. He had something to say, and Tessa wanted to know what that was. She sat next to him on the steps and waited.
“I have a question,” Griffin said.
“Okay?” Tessa waited. She’d decide if she wanted to answer after she heard what it was.
“Why d
id you let everyone believe you were mated to Doc?”
She really didn’t want to answer because it would reveal too much about her feelings for Griffin, but did she really believe he didn’t already know anyway?
“It was easier for me to avoid you. When you thought I was mated, I could pretend you didn’t affect me any longer. To be honest, the only reason I’m not mated to Reilly is that he refused to complete the bonding.”
Griffin growled. Fists released and tightened several times. He didn’t like her answer, but it was the truth. Tessa was suddenly exhausted. She didn’t want to play games with Griffin or anyone else. That’s why she’d left vampire central.
“Why are you here, Griffin? Nothing has changed. It’s true that I’m not mated, but so what? You’re still the mighty Griffin Vaughn. You have responsibilities that will always exclude someone like me. Not that I could forgive you for everything you’ve done, or not done. Why can’t you just leave me alone?”
“I can’t leave you alone because I love you.” Griffin looked just as tired as Tessa felt when he made the admission. He sighed. “As far as my parents are concerned, you might be surprised by the turnaround they’ve made on many issues since Danielle came into their lives.
“I’m here for two reasons. First, as I said, I want you to give me the chance to prove myself to you.”
Tessa cut him off, “I will never be interested in a married man, Griffin.”
Griffin nodded in understanding. “That is why I waited until my divorce was final to come after you.”
“You’re divorced? I thought it would take longer than that.” Tessa wasn’t sure she believed him.
“I am divorced. Being extremely wealthy has its privileges. The proceedings were fast-tracked. We settled out of court. You can look it up. It’s a matter of public knowledge. As for our bond, that was broken altogether when I decided to build my connection to you. I don’t pretend to understand how it works. There is no history of multiple matings for me to research, but the fact is that I am no longer connected to either you or Sarah. My connection to you was severed when Doc gave you his blood.”
Tessa remembered vividly the moment her connection to Griffin was cut. It had felt like she’d been stabbed in the heart. She’d been near death from blood loss and half out of her mind, but she would never forget the feeling of loss that overcame her when that fine thread that bound them together was sliced in two. It was like losing a limb. Or having your soul crushed all over again. It was no wonder Reilly wouldn’t mate with Tessa. She sobbed Griffin’s name while Reilly held her in his arms.
“But why are you here? You have to know I’m not coming back with you,” Tessa asked.
“That’s the second reason I mentioned. I need you to come home, and not just for me. Danielle is going to need her mother’s guidance very soon. I will be there for her, but you are her mother. You raised her and understand her in a way that I can only wish for, Tessa.”
“What’s wrong with Dani? I spoke to her the other day. Everything sounded fine. Is she hurt?” Tessa began to panic.
“No, she isn’t hurt. As far as I can tell, she and Chase are doing very well.”
“Then what are you talking about, Griffin? Don’t use our child to manipulate me. It’s just wrong!” Tessa hadn’t meant to shout, but she couldn’t tolerate this kind of game.
“I would never do that,” Griffin said. He leapt up and paced away from Tessa for a few yards before returning to look her in the eyes. “I know you have no reason to trust me, but I need you to try. This isn’t about me.”
Tessa cocked an eyebrow at Griffin. Everything was about him.
“All right, it isn’t only about me. You need to come back for two reasons. Danielle and I both need you, Tessa. She is going to need your support, and so am I. I can’t very well prove my worth to you if you aren’t around, can I? Something monumental is coming shortly. It will affect Danielle for the rest of her life.”
“What is it, Griffin? What are you trying to tell me?”
“It’s what I can’t tell you that is making this so damn hard.” Griffin cursed fluently. “I need you to believe me, but I can’t expect you to do that without telling you the truth.”
“Then just tell me, Griffin. If this involves Dani, I have the right to know.”
Griffin dragged his hand down his face. He looked frustrated. Tessa had to fight the urge to go to him, to soothe away the furrow of annoyance from his forehead with her fingers. She wouldn’t be doing that, though. Not until he explained what was happening with Dani.
“I want to just order you to listen to me and come back where you belong. I want to demand that you do as I say, but that doesn’t work anymore. If I’m honest, I don’t want it to be that way between us anymore. I’m ready to learn to be a partner instead of a dictator, but right now isn’t the time to start that practice. I want you to listen to me now and understand that I would never use our child against you. So when I say it’s crucial for you to be there, you believe me. I need you, Tessa, and so will Danielle.” Griffin cupped Tessa’s chin and placed a brief kiss on her lips. “Please, come home.”
“After everything that’s happened, you really think you can show up uninvited, spewing pretty words, and I’m going to follow you without question?”
Tessa should pull away from Griffin’s touch. She should send him away and get back to her new life. She should turn her back on him and go apologize to her employer for taking off. Why had she run in the first place? What was Griffin going to do? Nothing. He couldn’t do a damn thing. She was now a vampire, too, so not even his parents could mess with Tessa. She was protected by their laws just like any other vampire.
“I can see that you’re building up to a hissy fit in that pretty head of yours, Tessa. As much I would love to see you in a temper, I need you to focus. This has nothing to do with the past and everything to do with the future. Let me help you with that.” Griffin was grinning like an idiot when he swept Tessa up off the steps and into his arms. He claimed her mouth just as surely as he’d stolen her heart. She was going to have something to say about that hissy fit crack just as soon as she could think again.
Griffin pressed her body against her door. Tessa didn’t remember him ascending the steps, but that was definitely her door at her back, and that was definitely a massive erection against her belly. Griffin had never been able to control his reaction to Tessa when they were together. If they were in the same room, he was hard. She would have been insulted if she hadn’t melted into him and stuck her tongue down his throat like a horny teenager making out on the street.
“Let’s go inside.” Tessa pulled her lips from Griffin’s and dug in her pocket for the keys. Griffin was kissing his way down her neck.
“Tell me you’re coming back with me, Tessa.” Griffin’s eyes were black as night, and his fangs were completely extended. He was breathing like he’d just run a race and his hands were shaking. “Say you’ll give me a chance, baby, please. I love you so much it literally hurts being without you. We’ve lost enough time.”
“We need to talk, Griffin. You still haven’t told me why Dani needs me. Let’s go inside.”
Griffin’s blinked and shook his head, “I can’t give you any more detail about the situation with Danielle. She’s not in any danger, I can promise you that, Tessa, but her life is about to change drastically. Nobody knows about this but me and now you. I’ll be talking to Mason when I get back.” Griffin stopped his explanation to kiss Tessa senseless again. When he broke the kiss, Tessa was ready to do whatever he asked of her. He had the power to totally scramble her brain and make her forget all of the reasons this was all wrong for her.
“As far as going inside with you, baby, I have to be entirely upfront here. If I get you alone, I will bite you. If I make love to you tonight, you will be my mate again by morning. Not because I want to take away your choices, but because I have no other choice. My heart demands it. My body screams for it. My soul will not rest without you.
If you let me in that door, Tessa, know that you are choosing me now and forever.”
Tessa’s mouth fell open. He wanted to be her mate again … Now? Right now? She went down the mental checklist of every hurt Griffin had caused her. She quickly cataloged every year of agonizing heartbreak she’d suffered because of him. Then she imagined the rest of her life alone, without him, because Tessa knew she would never love another man.
“Wh-what about your house and the council? What about—” Tessa began, but Griffin cut her off with another soul-stealing kiss. Tears were tracking down his face when he pulled away, and the smile on his face was brighter than the sun.
“The fact that you still care enough for me to ask those questions gives me a reason to hope. I love you, Tessa, more than my position and more than my house. They can take me with you or leave me, but if you gave me your heart again, I would never let anything or anyone come between us ever again. I promise you that.”
Tessa didn’t know what to say. There was no right verbal answer for Griffin’s declaration. This was a pivotal moment in her life. She could feel it as sure as she had when she met Griffin the first time. The question was: would Tessa suffer for the choice she was about to make the way she had since then or was this the happily ever after she’d prayed for all along? There was no way for her to know. Her precognition had been on the fritz ever since she settled into her new home. She hadn’t seen Griffin coming for her, and she had no idea what might be happening for Dani.
Tessa pushed at Griffin’s chest. Reluctantly, he backed down a step. His hopeful smile melted into an expression of resignation. He would not force Tessa’s hand or try to manipulate her into succumbing to his wishes. Tessa could read his willingness to concede to her choice in his dejected eyes. Griffin attempted to square his shoulders and hold his head high, but it only lasted a heartbeat before he went back down another step and nearly crumpled. That honest show of emotion and acceptance of Tessa’s verdict went further to solidify Tessa’s decision than Griffin would ever know. He was a changed man. This wasn’t just a show. Griffin was finally ready to put their love above all other considerations. She just wasn’t sure she was prepared to commit to forever without some serious soul searching.