Stupid Cupid

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  That afternoon the florist van pulled into the driveway again. This time, in addition to the extra vases, he delivered a dozen roses to Tara from Harry, and a single red rose to each of the four children. They were thrilled. Tara was especially thrilled at Harry’s thoughtfulness. For someone unfamiliar with child behavior, he was doing everything right. She immediately started snipping off the thorns.

  “I wanted to make sure you know this is from me to you,” he told her, “not just one piece of an order for twelve women, redirected.”

  “How could you hide your feelings like that? All this weekend, you led me to believe that I was in competition with your twelve favorites, and lacking.”

  “You have been in competition, and—” he drew in a deep, calming breath, “—you won me over.”

  She couldn’t resist a play of words. “Like the bunny wabbit who really was ‘won over.’ Get it? Huh? Huh?”

  He groaned at her dumb joke. “I’m so confused since I met you. You make me laugh, and that’s novel for me. I’ve been trying to decide all week what to do about my life. I have to admit, I’ve been lonely being on the road lately. Each week is the same as the one before, only the beds change.”

  She looked up from her task. “Do they all look the same—not the beds, but your women of the week? Do they all have big boobs and blonde hair?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “Do you change pictures in your wallet to match the right woman every Sunday before you take off for the week?”

  “No, I don’t go that far any more. I did in the beginning, until I forgot one week, and wouldn’t you know, she went through my wallet. She said it was to see if I was married. I had to replace her. A shame.” He sipped his cappuccino. “Are you about done with the twenty questions?”

  “Not yet. I have one more.” She gathered all the thorns and threw them in the garbage compactor. “Are you willing to give up all twelve for me?”

  “I don’t have an answer for you. I wish I did.”

  “What are you still doing here with me then?”

  “But you need me as bad as I need you. What about the driveway? Who will clear it? I just shoveled enough to get my car out so we could go to the grocery store.”

  “I’m sure the snow removal service will show up sometime soon. You don’t need to worry about us. We’re not your responsibility, but thank you for all you’ve done.” She walked past him to set a second vase of roses on the long kitchen table. “Harry, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but we don’t need you here. I enjoy your company, but we’ll do fine on our own.”

  “If that’s the way you feel, I’ll get out of your way. I only stayed because I thought you needed me.”

  “I did appreciate your support. I would have been lonely on my own,” She offered a teary smile. “I had fun.”

  “I’ll pack my bags then and get out of your way.”

  “That’s good. I’m glad you’ve finally made a decision.” She kept her head lowered so he wouldn’t see her lips wobble. She really didn’t want him to see her cry. For some reason, she felt they were each playing a role on stage, reciting words written in a script, but neither of their hearts was in it. She searched for something to deviate from the prescribed plot. “Oh! You can’t leave yet. The kids planned a celebration dinner for the rabbit. You saved him, so it wouldn’t be right if you weren’t here.”

  “Of course. I wouldn’t miss it.”

  The big smile on his face convinced Tara that Harry was relieved, too.

  “You don’t mind him sitting at the dining room table with us, do you?”

  “Not a bit. This is so bizarre, I’d agree to anything at this point.”

  Eleven

  For the second night in a row, Tara set the formal table in the dining room; though this time she laid out seven place settings, instead of two. She seldom had the opportunity to entertain on her own, usually it was with family. She’d put a roast of lamb in the oven hours ago and made a salad the likes of which Bunny wouldn’t see for many times to come. All the fixings were ready and waiting. She wanted this night to be perfect since Bunny’s visit was so special.

  “Bunny, can I get you a glass of wine?” He was in human-esque form tonight, standing up straight on legs, but with fur and his bunny ears.

  “I’m partial to beer.” His nose twitched when he talked.

  “Oh … sure … but if the children come in—”

  “I’ll hide the beer. I promise. We children’s heroes must never set a bad example.”

  “I knew you’d understand, Bunny.”

  “You can call me Eddie.”

  “Really? I never thought of you’re having a name.”

  As soon as she reached the kitchen, she got a cold can of beer out of the refrigerator.

  “Yeah, it’s Eddie Rabbit. People don’t think of us as real.”

  She raised her brows. She must have hit a sore spot. “Do you use a glass?”

  He held up his furry paw. “The can is easier.”

  Tara realized how difficult it would be for him to hold a slippery glass with his silky fur. Once she opened the pop top, he hunkered down so he could see her expression. “Why so down in the mouth?”

  She flashed a quick smile. “I’m fine, but you’ll be leaving, and Harry—” She squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears that threatened.

  Eddie eyed her closely, making her feel like he could see into her mind.

  “What about Harry? Is he going somewhere?” he asked.

  “Well, yeah. He travels all week and lives in Indiana. He can’t stay here forever.”

  “He could if he wanted,” Eddie said softly.

  She burst out crying, and he offered his wide shoulder. The thick, soft fur was so comforting; she wished she could stay there forever.

  She was suddenly aware of a growing bulge against her belly, and she realized Eddie was living up to the rabbits’ reputation as a horny animal. She pulled back at the same time he pushed away.

  “Sorry about that. I seem to be living up to my image.”

  Face as red as a valentine, she kept her eyes on the messages on the refrigerator door. No way did she want to let her gaze drop.

  He continued as if it was no big deal. “I thought you two were getting along famously.”

  Careful where she looked, she met his eye, surprised that he’d noticed anything between Harry and her. She should have known all those times she felt him—in rabbit form—watching her. She shivered and answered his question.

  “We are … or were.” She heaved a big sigh. “He’s afraid to trust his heart to one woman, afraid I’ll hurt him. He’d rather spread himself around as insurance, I guess. There seems nothing I can do or say to get through to him.”

  He ducked down so they were eye to eye. “Would you like me to talk to him, man to man.”

  She giggled at the term, considering his fur.

  “Okay, how about male to male?”

  “If someone else has to convince him, then he doesn’t really love me.”

  “Not true. Men have all kinds of strange complexes. Not us rabbits, of course.”

  “Of course,” she agreed with a smile.

  Once again supporting her shoulders, he told her, “Missy, I have the ability to release one or both of you from the spell.”

  “You mean it truly is a spell?”

  “Yeah, Cupid got in the cups and missed. He was aiming at that flower lady and Harry.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “Glenna? He was meant for Glenna?”

  “They would have been a good match. They’re both kind of shallow about feelings.”

  “I knew it wasn’t normal, falling in love like that. I pegged him as a playboy the minute I saw him,” she said out loud.

  “It’s tough if just one person wants out, because the other one will pine away. But if you’re sure that Harry will make you miserable, if you’re sure there’s no hope of his loving you as you deserve to be loved, you might want to think about … getting rid
of him.”

  She drew in a shocked breath.

  “Not ‘get rid of him’ in Mafia terms. Get rid of the spell.”

  “Oh, thank goodness.” Still, her heart pounded in her chest so hard, surely the bunny could hear it. How could she give up hope of capturing Harry’s heart? How could she bear the hurt of his not loving her in return? “I don’t know what to say. I love him, I always will.”

  “I’ll have a talk with the misguided fool.” He dropped his paws from her shoulders and turned away. “Could I bother you for another beer?”

  “Oh, of course.” She got one out of the refrigerator and popped the top for him. “Is there any way Cupid might join us for dinner?” she asked as she handed him the can. “We could eat later.”

  Bunny shook his head. “I’m sure he’d love to be here, but because of the time zones, he just can’t get away tonight. This is his biggest day of the year.”

  “I understand,” she said thoughtfully. “Bunny? If I have to rely on a magic spell to keep Harry, it’s not worth it. I want a man to love me for myself, for the two of us together and the children we might have someday. I don’t believe in magic.” Tears sneaked out from under her lashes. “Go ahead and break the spell.”

  From the corner of her eye, she caught movement. She looked in that direction, only to realize that Harry stood at the door of the kitchen. “Come on in,” she said, her cheeks burning. “I assume you heard everything I said.”

  “Some of it. Enough to know you want me out of your life.”

  She sighed in one big huff. “You can’t even hear right when you’re eavesdropping. I just admitted I love you, and no magic spell will change my love for you. So what about you?”

  “I think we need the safety net. If it’s available, why not use it?”

  “I suppose you want a prenuptial agreement, too.”

  “Probably wouldn’t be a bad idea. If your book series is as successful as I imagine it will be, you’d want some insurance so I don’t steal you blind.”

  She wished she had a two-by-four handy so she could clobber him. “Must you always look for the worst in people, including yourself?” It suddenly hit her that if he was talking divorce, that meant marriage first. “Oh my God, are you proposing?”

  “I might be, later tonight.”

  She opened her mouth to say something, but the shock of a possible marriage proposal plucked the thought from her mind. She leaned a hip against the counter to maintain her balance. “Why wait for tonight? Eddie Rabbit’s here now—”

  “Who?”

  “The Easter Bunny. We have a celebration dinner all set to go. Makes sense to announce the breaking news while he’s still here.”

  She turned toward the rabbit, but he was already walking toward the family room.

  “I’ll check on the kids. You need your privacy for now.”

  The Easter Bunny left shortly after the fine dinner, with his gratitude for their hospitality. He promised to bring Cupid to the wedding, though having a cartoon character and a mythical god at the reception might start a stir among the guests, especially with the amount of spirits the two of them were reputed to consume. Tara didn’t care; she was so grateful for their matchmaking that she’d allow them to appear naked, if that was their choice.

  Harry helped her clear the table. He loaded the dishwasher while she put the food away and fed the dog.

  “Baraboo will be lonely without his new friend,” she said. “Maybe we should get him a pet, a rabbit or kitten.”

  “You really think he’d tolerate a little critter?”

  “Of course. Most large dogs are incredibly gentle with babies, human or animal, depending on the species, of course.”

  He shut the dishwasher and wrapped his arms around her from behind. She melted against him, resting the back of her head against his neck and wanting to stay here with him forever.

  “What about most men?” he asked.

  “What about them? Yes, most men like dogs and kids. Sometimes they’re not too partial to cats. I can’t say why. And they shoot rabbits for sport.”

  “That wasn’t my question. I wanted to know what they most like, in your opinion.”

  She crossed her arms over his and jiggled her bottom against him. “You mean sex?”

  “Now we’re on the same wavelength.”

  “Finally.”

  He rested his forehead against the top of her head. “You know what’s going to happen. About the time we walk upstairs and shower and change into our ‘jammies,’ and finally meet up in one of our bedrooms, one of the four children is sure to wake up with a nightmare or a thirst or a bellyache.”

  “You may be right.”

  “Why don’t we just do it? Right here, right now,” he said.

  “We’re in the kitchen.”

  “What’s wrong with that?”

  “I don’t know, exactly, but most people do it behind closed doors,” she said. His breath tickled her ear and she shivered.

  “There’s a door between the kitchen and hall.”

  She whispered, “I don’t know if it locks.”

  “I bet’cha it does,” he whispered back. “Why are we whispering?”

  “We don’t want to wake up the kids.”

  “We do want to do it here then?”

  “I guess I’m game, though it seems kind of premeditated.”

  He laughed. “What do you consider sex in a bed? Predestination?”

  “Very funny. Let’s get on with it.”

  He inched the zipper of her jeans down in response to her challenge.

  “Oh, I guess we’re starting.”

  He pulled her sweater over her head and unhooked her bra. “I’ll be damned if I’ll forget something important this time.”

  “Do you have a condom on you this time?’

  “Seven.”

  She giggled. “Why seven?”

  “I counted all the positions I want to do it with you, and that many readily came to mind.” As he spoke he pushed her jeans down her legs.

  “I don’t even know seven positions.”

  “Honey, you haven’t lived.”

  “I sure would like to.”

  “Step out, hon.” He helped balance her while she stepped out of her jeans. “Stay here a second.” He strode across the room and closed and locked the door, then dimmed the lights.

  Nervous energy hit her and she didn’t know where to look, what to do. It really would happen this time, and she felt suddenly shy, knowing their lovemaking would be premeditated.

  She ducked her head instead of facing him as he crossed the kitchen. “I should tell you something.”

  “Not right now. I need to kiss you.”

  Oh, what a kiss. It heated her blood and stirred sensations she wasn’t aware existed, and finally she was sure she wanted this and knew how to proceed. She started on his excess of clothing, peeling off layer by layer while she could still function. He had her so hot, so fast, she could no longer think of anything but joining his sex to her body. He lifted her onto the countertop, the tile cool on her heated flesh. He kissed her deeply and teased her open with his fingers, taking her breath away. Stopping to sheathe himself, he slid inside her, slowly, tenderly.

  “What’s going on?” he said suddenly. “I can’t get in.”

  “Oh, yeah, that’s what I meant to tell you. I’ve never done this before.”

  “What do you mean, you’ve never done this before?”

  “I’m a virgin.”

  He leaned back to see her expression and laughed incredulously. “You have four kids. You cannot be a virgin.”

  “They’re not my kids.” She shook her head in denial. “I’m just baby-sitting for my brothers.”

  “Ah, jeez, I can’t hold it.” He lost control, coming partway inside her but providing no pleasure for her. “Ah, son of a bitch.”

  Apparently providing no pleasure for him, either.

  They’d dressed and were now watching a fire in the family room, Barab
oo at their feet.

  “I’m sorry if I misled you. I didn’t realize you thought I was the kids’ mother…”

  “Tiffany even called you that.”

  “Oh, little kids don’t know the difference sometimes. They call any caregiver mommy or mother.”

  “So whose house is this?”

  “My brother, Eugene’s. Albert lives a couple blocks away.”

  “Are your brothers really on a cruise in the Caribbean?”

  “Yes, of course. Eugene and his wife Karen. They have Kevin and Erica; Albert and Jill have Kim and little Tiffany.”

  Harry watched the fire with a frown and he didn’t seem to be processing half the details she’d told him.

  “There’s no big conspiracy. They needed some time away after football season, so I said I’d watch the kids. Mom and Dad would have kept them, but they winter in Florida and the kids are a handful for them.”

  “Football…” he said. She could almost see the wheels turning in his brain. “Eugene and Albert … Avery … Gene and Al Avery! Tackles for the Chicago Bears! Are you fucking kidding me? Gene and Al Avery are your brothers?”

  “All my life.”

  “I can’t believe this. I thought you were a kept woman.”

  “How could you make love to me if that’s what you thought?”

  “I couldn’t help myself. It must have been the spell Cupid put on me.”

  “Us,” she corrected.

  “Whatever.”

  “Do you still want to be with me? I have to warn you, I want marriage.”

  “Absolutely. Oh, Jeez, my mother! She’ll be relieved. All this week she thought you were unmarried with four kids.”

  “You told your mother about me already? You better call her and let her know you’re safe. Unmarried with four kids.” She chuckled.

  “Did you tell your parents about me yet?”

  “Are you kidding? They’d have a fit if they knew I let you stay here for the past four days without a chaperone.”

  “I think the kids provided adequate chaperonage,” Harry said.

 

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