Evie said, ‘I found him in the casino, just before he collapsed.’
‘You took him to the casino… He’s a recovering addict! Did you also inject him with the same filth you do yourself, you cheap Jindalar narc?’
‘Easy there, Captain,’ Berossus said raising his palm. ‘He was just drunk, and passed out. He seems to be OK now. It was probably nothing.’
Evie shook her head. Did the Captain just call me a ‘cheap Jindalar narc’? That’s what he thinks of me? Like I would ever touch that stuff. Not anymore.
‘Doc! Where is the damned doc when you need her? She’s always in the way, but once you need her, she’s not there.’ Tredd stormed around the room like a galoceros that had gotten an enema. He stopped by Eddie. ‘And you… you didn’t tell me about her! Why…?’
Evie wondered who he was talking about. Bells, or someone else? She was appalled by Tredd’s behaviour. He too was drunk.
While Tredd became more aggressive, Eddie lay relaxed, eyes closed, and breathing easy. He gave a barely audible hum as a response to Tredd through his sleep – like he didn’t want to wake up.
‘What the hell, man?’ Tredd paced around Eddie, held onto the bedside and looked furious.
Evie stepped back from the shouting. She found it repulsive. Slowly she edged towards the door, and before either of the men standing in the room noticed, she slipped out into the corridor. She ran to her quarters, and made sure that the door was locked.
Peace and quiet at last. She felt drained. Perhaps she could talk sense to Tredd after he sobered up. Now the only thing to do was to shut down the lights and curl under the blanket.
Hiding in her small room while the drunken men rummaged outside, she felt a strange sense of morbid nostalgia. It had been the same when she was a child. She remembered locking the door to her room, curling up on the bed, and listening to the noises and screams of her mother until she didn’t scream anymore. That’s when the pain came in, and the nightmares.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
EDDIE’S EYES hurt as he opened them. Glaring white light pierced deep through his retinas. He tried to raise his arm to block the light, but it was too much of an effort. He turned onto his side instead. His whole body ached and he was completely oblivious to where he was. Squinting his eyes open, he looked around: trays, vials, and tubes… Am I in a hospital? Someone tugged on his shoulder.
He groaned, but was too lazy to turn on to his other side. He heard steps of someone walking around him, and then a smiling face appeared in front of him. He did not recognise the face at first, but then he remembered: Dr Killock, Bells.
‘Eddie,’ she said, and touched his arm, ‘you’re in the infirmary. How do you feel?’
Eddie tried to reply, but only managed to make a slurring sound of acknowledgement. He swallowed and felt his tongue still tangled. With focus, he was able to mutter, ‘What happened? Where am I?’
‘You’re on the Rutger, in the infirmary.’ Her face and voice were soothing and nice, and made Eddie want to curl up and get back to sleep. Scattered memories of the events at the casino started crawling back to him. I must have lost thousands, or tens of thousands… It was difficult to recall. The free drinks, and the tipping – what a disaster. How did I get back to the ship?
He tried to sit, but it was difficult. With help from Bells, he managed to pull himself up. ‘My head’s killing me.’
She zapped his arm with a medical dispenser. He felt a slight tingle, and his headache vanished almost instantly. However, the mushy feeling throughout his body stayed.
‘You had been drinking, and I guess I can assume you had one of your blackouts?’ Bells asked. He nodded and Bells continued, ‘If you don’t mind, I would like to run this brain scanner on you now.’
Eddie agreed. Now that everyone knew about his seizures, or faints, or whatever they were, he wanted to get to the bottom of the matter. Hungover or not, now was as good time as ever.
Bells took out an apparatus that looked like a metallic spider. As she turned it on, its motors made no sound, but as it spread out its metallic legs, their sensor-padded tips made a slithering sound on the tabletop.
‘Now… this won’t hurt a bit,’ she said, as doctors always say when something is going to hurt like hell, and lowered the apparatus over Eddie’s head. The spider’s legs moulded around the shape of his head, the sensors sucking up to his skin, and the body of the spider pressed down on his forehead. The metal felt cold. ‘Just lie still.’
Eddie felt a sudden jolt of pain through his head, but just momentarily. He felt the weirdest sensation of eating ants. It was like there were hundreds of them on his hands, walking around and he was stuffing them in his mouth, licking them off his hands and trying to swallow them as they ran around his tongue. When he swallowed, he saw playing cards flying around, stopping in mid-air, and changing to a wall of static that felt eerily familiar to him.
He reached for the wall of static, and when his fingers pierced through it, a pain like nothing else shot through his hands across his body and threw him into an utter blackness.
TREDD WOKE up in his quarters, feeling slightly hungover. He had enjoyed an untroubled dream, riding through rolling hills of green on a perfect Saturday on a perfect hover bike, but the walls of the Rutger around him brought him quickly back to reality. Thoughts about yesterday flowed in.
After twenty years, he had found Jill – or, rather, she had found him. While she had always inhabited a space in his thoughts, there was nothing that could have prepared him for the sudden rendezvous. A commodore in the navy, Jill wanted to capture the Starcrasher device for the Dawn Alliance. However grown up, tough, and militant she had become, she was still his old sweetheart. He could never go against her.
Working together with the navy was impossible. They would never take him back, not anymore, nor would he ever go back. Vorlar Block was now a vice admiral and wielded immense power within the organisation. He would come after him. Also, even if he wanted to cooperate with them in any way, FIST would cut off all of his resources, stranding him on some faraway space station.
Neither could go against the navy, even if it was not for Jill. His cover was blown – they knew. Out in the open it was futile going against the battle cruisers patrolling the Yedda system.
As painful as it was, he had to abandon the mission. He started thinking about how to approach the matter with the crew, and with FIST, but then he realised he had already said something in his drunken fury in the medical bay last night. He wondered if anybody had stayed on the ship. Probably they had all gone their ways.
He rose up from the bed. Feeling weary, he took a quick shower to freshen up. As he was shaving away his stubble, he thought about Eddie, passed out drunk in the infirmary, and wondered what had happened. Down in Bella his pal had been telling him how proud he was for no longer touching the bottle. Then again, Eddie had never told him about Jill. It felt like a blast in the back. Perhaps Tredd had been too trusting of his old friend.
Tredd pulled on his standard outfit: dark grey multipurpose pants, blue long-sleeved hot-and-cold shirt, and a black shipcoat. He pushed his feet into the black boots and slipped his utility belt around his waist. He touched the Light Burst on his hip, just to make sure it was there, and went out to see if anyone was around.
Reaching the galley, he was surprised: the crew had gathered around the table, everyone except Evie. Eddie looked pale, but was clearly among the living even though he had no plate in front of him, only a glass of water. Compared to Eddie, Bells was like a flower in morning dew, and Berossus looked like he could lift a small shuttle. They each munched on a hearty dish that resembled an omelette.
‘I’m sorry for losing it yesterday. I don’t know what happened to me,’ Eddie said, staring down at his glass, looking like he wanted to disappear under the table.
‘What happened?’ Tredd asked and pulled up a chair beside Eddie. ‘You haven’t touched the bottle for ages.’
‘I know, I know… But I
didn’t pass out on alcohol though,’ he added quickly, glancing at Bells. ‘I might have a disorder of sorts. She’s helping me figure it out.’
Bells set her fork down and reached for a steaming cup by the plate. ‘You’ll be all right, for sure. I’ve sent the data for processing and should get some insights soon, but if I were you, for starters, I wouldn’t go near casinos.’
So that was it, Tredd realised. He remembered Eddie had been somewhat of a skilful gambler, but once his luck took a wrong turn, he had turned to drinking – the bet with the worst odds of all – which eventually had lost him his job, and nearly his life. Tredd felt his own hangover creep up on him again, and leaned his forehead against his palms and his elbows on the table.
‘And if I were you, Captain,’ Bells said, and put down her cup, ‘I would be careful with the spirits. Last night you were joking about ending the mission here.’
Tredd sighed and sat upright. It felt like someone squeezing his skull. ‘Yeah. There’s no way I can continue.’
Bells raised an eyebrow. Berossus stuffed the last piece of his dish into his mouth and dropped his fork on the plate with a clink. He turned to Tredd and frowned.
‘What happened?’ Eddie asked.
Tredd reached for a glass and poured himself a glass of water. ‘It’s a long story for everyone else but you, old pal. Let’s just say that I was taken in front of Commodore Conrad of the DAN.’ Tredd scowled intentionally at Eddie. He wanted to see his reaction, and he got one.
‘Oh. That explains it,’ Eddie said, and swallowed. They all sat quiet for a while, everyone looking thoughtful. Bells took a sip from her cup and Berossus stood up with his plate and headed towards the foodalator.
‘You and I need to talk about the commodore,’ Tredd said. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘You’re talking about Jill? I guess it’s fine now…’ Eddie wiped his forehead and leaned back. ‘A long time ago, I met her by accident – a bit like we did, if you recall – and she made me swear not to reveal her identity to you. She never told me why, and I didn’t want to interfere with whatever there had been between you two, so I promised her.’
Tredd sighed. Eddie seemed sincere, and Jill’s behaviour yesterday was well in line with what he was saying. Still, it was difficult for him to understand Jill’s decision. Perhaps he had just been naive, thinking there still was something between them, when there clearly was nothing. ‘It’s all right, pal.’
Berossus leaned to the counter. He had gotten some small greasy-looking balls for the foodalator and was stuffing them in his mouth like he hadn’t seen food for a while.
Eddie emptied his glass and scratched his forehead while staring at the wires in the ceiling. ‘If we call it quits now… what about Tommy?’
‘Could you two please explain to us what you are talking about?’ Bells asked with a fuzzy look on her face.
Ignoring Bells, Tredd said to Eddie, ‘I know, but it’s impossible now. They know what we’re up to; they will blast us to dust if we interfere. Once I’ve had some breakfast, I’m going to send a message to FIST. We’re going back. They need to find someone else to do it.’
Eddie nodded and leaned his forehead against his palms.
‘We should probably go then.’ Bells stood up and handed her plate and cup to Berossus.
Berossus nodded and set her plate and cup in the washer. ‘My mother should be up by now,’ he said. Then he turned to Tredd. ‘Thank you for taking us here, sir. If either of you want to join me, I’d be honoured to introduce you to her.’
Tredd rose up from the chair. ‘Thanks, but I need to sort out a few things. Please send your mother my regards, I hope she will be well.’ He thought Eddie would also rather recover, but perhaps Evie might want to go. ‘Where’s Evie?’
‘I think she’s in her room,’ Bells said. ‘She had a bit of a conflict yesterday, but I managed to convince the guy he didn’t want to go the police about a girl punching him down. Men and their pride – too easy – but he was very nice.’
Tredd walked up to the foodalator. What Bells said made no sense. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Nada.’ She waved her hand in the air. ‘Sorry, just forget about it. She’ll tell you, if she wants to. I think she needed some time alone.’
Tredd nodded. ‘I’ll talk with her.’ He felt guilty, remembering how inconsiderate he had been with Evie last night.
‘Tell her she’s welcome to join us,’ Berossus said.
‘I will,’ Tredd said, and stared at the foodalator, unable to decide what he wanted to have for breakfast.
‘Captain, there’s still plenty of that omelette I made,’ Bells said with a smile. ‘It’s made from real supa-chick eggs, Namerian herbs, and Renuvian bacon I bought from the Five Ways convenience centre. Absolutely nothing from the foodalator, and absolutely everything good for you.’
‘Thanks, I appreciate it,’ Tredd said, thinking they are all too kind.
‘Gotta go and prepare,’ Bells said, waving, and then they were gone.
The galley became silent.
Tredd took a plate and the remains of the huge omelette Bells had prepared. It had been there for a while, but nonetheless it looked delicious. Tredd picked up a fork and sat down to eat.
He ate in silence, while Eddie fiddled with his empty glass. The next time Tredd looked up, Eddie had balanced two forks together with a spoon, and had them dangling on the edge of the glass in a position that seemed to defy gravity.
Meeting Tredd’s eyes, Eddie said, ‘An old trick.’
‘You used to do a lot of that stuff.’
Eddie nodded.
Tredd enjoyed being with his old friend, even if it was going to end soon. Even for a loner like him, it felt good to have company.
AFTER BREAKFAST, Tredd stood at Evie’s door and requested permission to enter. He wanted to say sorry. It was the right thing to do.
The permission was granted, and the door opened. Evie sat on her bed, again with just a black tank top, grey track pants, and bare feet with bright violet toenails. She stared down at the screen on her lap, her backpack drooping against the wall by her side.
‘I’m sorry,’ Tredd said as he entered.
‘Don’t worry about it,’ she said without looking at him.
‘I behaved a like smashed galoceros. I shouldn’t have—’
‘But you did,’ she said, still staring at her terminal.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘It’s OK.’
Tredd closed the door behind him. ‘I heard you had some trouble in the entertainment district. Want to talk about it?’
She looked up at Tredd. Her eyes were red and swollen, like she had been crying. ‘Not really.’
He grabbed the stool from under the desk and sat on it. ‘You know, I might be able to help.’
She turned back to her screen in silence.
Tredd leaned his elbows on his knees. He looked around, sometimes glancing at Evie. He didn’t know what to say, but decided to try something positive. ‘Look. Despite what I might have said yesterday, I’m glad to have you on board. Without you I might still be stuck on my way to Gemma.’
‘Thank you.’ She raised her head up and brushed a tear from her cheek. ‘Last night you said you’d quit the mission. Were you serious?’
‘Unfortunately, yes.’ Tredd lifted himself up. ‘I met a person from my past, who has made it pretty blasting impossible for me to continue.’
‘A woman?’ Evie asked, raising an eyebrow.
Tredd winced. ‘You see right through me.’
Evie slipped her terminal screen into her backpack and pushed her back straight against the wall, her feet on the bed. ‘Want to talk about it?’
It was too complicated to explain, too many old wounds to rip open, and she wouldn’t understand. Tredd shook his head.
‘I thought so. Makes two of us.’
‘Fair point.’ Tredd realised that perhaps Evie too might have old unhealed wounds. She was still young,
but her eyes reflected experience, a hard life.
‘Sometimes it’s best to let go of the past,’ Evie said, as if she could read Tredd’s mind. ‘It doesn’t actually exist, you know? We only have this eternal moment, in which we define who we are.’
Evie’s words made sense. Irony filled the room – he had planned on talking with her to help her with her situation, but it seemed that it was she who was helping him.
‘I think you might be right.’ He wanted to think that the past was only something in his mind. He wanted to think that there was a way to complete the mission. He wanted to focus on the moment, and accept the deliverance, but nothing came. It was still impossible to continue the mission. He took a deep breath and stood up.
Evie looked up at him. ‘What happens now?’
‘I have to do some thinking on what you just said.’
She pushed herself to the side of the bed, her feet on the floor. ‘What I said?’
‘You said something profound. Let me think about it.’ He stepped back towards the door.
‘I did?’ Evie asked.
‘I think so.’ Tredd opened the door. ‘By the way – Berossus is going to see his mother with the doc. He said you would be welcome too.’
A tiny smile crept up on Evie’s swollen face. ‘Thanks. That would be lovely.’
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
AFTER FRESHENING UP, Evie joined Bells and Berossus as they went up to the Golden Spoke to see Berossus’s mother, while Tredd and Eddie stayed at the ship finalising their plans. This time she put on the most presentable outfit she had – a black and grey dress. It wasn’t any more colourful than any other clothes she had, but at least the hem had a black-on-black flower print on it. She hoped that Berossus’s mother would like it.
She still felt shaky after the ordeal at the Star Bar. Ash’s grey and blue face of death had haunted her dreams, and when she had roused in the middle of the night, she had worried about Bells having found out about her and revealing she was a murderer. Now Ash’s face was gone, but she still worried about what Bells would say.
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