‘No … I don’t know. I’ve not tried it, obviously. Austin said I can do more with my ability than I realise.’ Recalling the suffering she’d felt oozing from Kerra’s spirit, she said, ‘But I never thought he meant something like that.’
‘If you can do more, then maybe you can help Kerra. While Austin interrogated me, he said there was no way to … to bring her back to how she was.’ He paused, pressing his eyes shut until he was ready to continue. ‘But I saw the horror in her eyes, and you sensed it too.’ He looked at Juliet as if she was his only hope. ‘Maybe you can release her from that.’
The weight of responsibility fell right on her. For a second she was wordless. I came here to find answers for me, to know why I was lied to and betrayed … but … She nodded firmly. ‘If I can help, I will.’ Before he put too much faith in her, she added, ‘But I can only try my best. I’ve never tried to force a spirit into or out of anything.’
Nick appeared to absorb her words. ‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘Austin told me he extracted information from Kerra’s ghost, like memories and details of her life. If he and you are the same’—he shook his head quickly—‘not the same, but have the same ability, then maybe you can do a lot more than you realise.’
Juliet shrugged. The only two people who could teach me these things would probably be Tamara or Austin himself. But it felt right to imagine doing some good with her ability. Being able to block out the spirits meant helping them wouldn’t have to become a burden. Maybe she could aid a few in need from time to time, then switch off her power and focus on her own life. Is my ignorance selfish? It can’t be my responsibility to help every spirit in need. ‘I suppose,’ she said thoughtfully, before changing the subject. ‘Why did Austin interrogate you?’
Although Nick shrugged, he answered, ‘He wanted to know about my ability, if I knew where it came from or of anyone else with the same power. He also wanted to know what I planned to do with it …’
‘How did he know what you can do?’
‘I don’t know; I don’t know where he found out anything about me.’ But then something must have clicked in his mind. He looked at Juliet sharply with his hazel eyes. ‘You … you were his lead.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘Austin found me because he knew my first name, and that I worked at a Pagan shop. But he also said he had another lead …’
Juliet peered down to one side, confused. ‘I never told him about you.’
‘Right. So this is all just a coincidence?’
And then something clicked in Juliet’s head. She quickly explained why she had first become suspicious of Austin, how he had tripped himself up telling her and Roy different stories. Then she said, ‘Also, on our first date, he said he wanted to see everything there was to see in Amiton and visit all the crystal shops. I showed him to each one I knew of. But I avoided Creaky Crystals.’ She paused. ‘I didn’t want to bump into you.’
‘So how did he know I worked there?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe he became suspicious when I avoided it? He did ask me why I didn’t want to go in.’
It was clear Nick was getting worked up. ‘Well, when he came into my workplace and asked for me, he only knew my first name. Did he get that from you? I would have thought he’d have more to go on than just your discomfort around the shop.’
‘I never spoke about you to anyone. Why would I after what you involved me in before?’ As soon as she said it, she realised how unfair it was—she’d sought out Nicolas, and she’d gone to Grendel Manor out of her own choice—but Nick’s rising frustration got the better of her. ‘For all you know, he could have asked for a Nicolas in all of the Pagan shops. Maybe he just used me to locate them all.’
‘He could have used the Internet for that.’
‘Fine. Sure.’ She gave in.
‘What’s the matter?’
‘You’re acting like it’s my fault. Like I led him to you.’
‘Oh.’ He seemed taken aback, his face flushing. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘No, it’s not a problem. I know it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t wake up and decide to do business with a psychopath.’
‘I don’t think he’s a psychopath,’ said Nick, apparently taking an analytical approach to her comment. ‘Psychopaths don’t have feelings, or at least they don’t feel them to the extent most people do. But Austin … He’s got deep emotional issues ... He resents me because he thinks that I think I’m above him or something, or that I’m better looking than him. He assumed I was popular at school, and that I’ve had an easy life …’ He gave a little incredulous laugh. ‘I think he was jealous.’
Nick’s theory seemed accurate to Juliet, but she was unsure why. ‘We still don’t know where he got your first name from, or how he knew you worked in a Pagan shop. Why would he target you when he doesn’t even know you?’
For a long moment Nick was silent. Juliet found herself staring at his lips, remembering when she’d spontaneously kissed them. Quickly, she scolded herself. How can I even think about that now? It wasn’t like she wanted to kiss him at the moment. Austin’s betrayal was too fresh. But she couldn’t look at Nicolas now and not remember the attraction she’d felt before.
‘It has to be something to do with what Austin knows about Aldrich’s death,’ said Nick.
‘Why wouldn’t he just go to the police, though?’ With annoyance, Juliet anticipated another long period of silence and thinking.
But Nick suddenly exclaimed, ‘The portal!’ His eyes widened. ‘That’s it! Do you remember on Aldrich’s land, when the portal spoke to me in my head? I never got a chance to tell you everything it said ... It asked for my full name, but because I didn’t trust it, I made an effort to distract my mind so it couldn’t read my thoughts. It had already learnt my first name, though. I must have also thought about my workplace for some reason, but not clearly enough to distinguish which Pagan shop I work at. Then the portal tried to tempt me through to the other side, but, as you know, we had to run off … and it exploded when we did.’
Juliet sat dumbstruck, her lips parted. Eventually she said, ‘I always greet people with my full name. I gave it to the portal without thinking.’ She’d realised it was a mistake back then, straight after giving her name away, but she never thought it could lead to consequences like this. I need to break that habit.
‘So do you think it was Austin on the other side?’
Juliet considered. ‘But it was ...’
‘Telepathic?’
‘Yes … telepathic.’ She said the word as if testing it for flavour. ‘If Austin is telepathic, then he would have picked up on my suspicions about him sooner than he did. And why would he verbally interrogate you if he could read your mind?’
‘Maybe this sounds crazy, but what if it wasn’t him or whatever was on the other side that was reading our minds, but that the portal’s only way of transferring communications was telepathically?’ Nick said all this as if he’d dwelt on the theory before. ‘I remember aiming my thoughts at the portal, just expecting whatever was on the other side to hear them. But it wasn’t just the person on the other side reading us; we could hear their thoughts too.’
Juliet found it hard to respond. She wanted to keep the conversation moving forward, but felt her mind trying to shut it all out. It was all so ridiculous. A woman who sees the dead is sitting here talking to a psychic about a necromancer and a telepathic portal … and I’m about to suggest we go see a …
‘Are you struggling with this?’ Nick took her attention. ‘After everything we know about.’
‘Yes. Yes, I am. I’ve spent the months since I last saw you trying to block out my ability, trying to move on from what I witnessed. Then yesterday, I found out Austin had been lying to me the whole time. I also discovered I might be immortal, and on top of that, Austin broke my gran’s hip when he attacked her.’ Not expecting her own outburst, she had to stop and take a breath. There was so much for Nick to respond to, and she understood that, so
she tried to cool herself down.
Weakly, Nick said, ‘I’m sorry to hear about your gran.’
Juliet shook her head. ‘I don’t want sympathy. Complaining like this isn’t what I do. It’s only, with what happened to Aldrich, I thought that would be the darkest moment of my life, the worst thing I’d ever see …’
Nick put his left hand on her shoulder and just kept it there. His touch sobered her, reminded her of touching Austin, having him in bed. She heard the creak creak and the slap slap slap and then saw the throatless corpse. Her stomach gave a tilt. Pushing the thoughts away, she said, ‘Sorry.’ She cleared her throat, lent strength to her voice. ‘Let’s get on with this and figure out what to do.’
But seeming unable to contain it, Nick said, ‘You might be immortal?’ His eyes had woken up and were full of wonder. ‘You can’t just say that and expect me not to ask questions.’
Juliet nodded solemnly. ‘I might be.’
‘How amazing is that?’
‘Amazing?’ She looked at him disgustedly. Thoughts barraged her. I’ll outlive everyone I know, watch them age and die. I’ll be a freak, maybe experimented on by scientists. I could live through wars and wars and wars. I’ll see the planet run dry of resources … I might end up the only human left, or maybe I’ll be stuck with others like me and Austin: immortals damaged by the years. ‘I don’t want to be immortal,’ she said bluntly. ‘I don’t even want to think about it right now.’
Nick looked at her as if she’d sprouted nine eyes. ‘Seriously?’
‘Yes.’
‘Okay …’ He turned his lips down, raising his eyebrows. ‘Well, if you are immortal, then does that mean Austin is too?’
‘That’s what he told me.’
‘Jesus,’ Nick sighed out.
Juliet wanted to get the show on the road, so she suggested something. ‘There’s only one person who’s been able to tell me anything definite about my ability. She knows about the Otherworld, and she’s the only person I can think of who might help us.’
‘You want to bring someone else into this?’
‘I do … I think we should ask Tamara Trewin.’
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
‘THE FAMOUS MEDIUM?’ said Nick. ‘Or witch … or whatever?’
‘Yes. You know who she is.’
‘I know of her …’ he corrected. Every word he uttered felt like torture to get out. I should be grieving … I shouldn’t be dealing with this so well. ‘Should we really bring anyone else into this? We would have to tell her about Aldrich.’
That seemed to really make Juliet stop and think. ‘I’ve been going to sessions with her for a few months now, to gain more control of my ability. Although I’ve not really seen her demonstrate it, she says she has power of her own. I think if she believes us about what you can do and what Aldrich could do, then I can’t imagine she would turn us in.’
Nick’s mind was becoming so numb he struggled to think. But one thought came through the fog: Blossoms. There was something significant about the pink petals Juliet said had covered Austin’s van, but he couldn’t figure what. ‘Juliet, Austin said he used some kind of enchanted item, putting it inside of Kerra’s body to keep her from ... decomposing. Do you think Tamara will know anything about this item? If she truly has some … magic’—he said the word awkwardly—‘then I bet she can enchant things. She might be able to tell us more.’
‘I’ve seen herbs, incense, wands, and all types of things in her home. I’ve never seen her use most of it, but I suppose …’
Nick’s mind drifted to memories of Kerra. He could hear her singing, hear the patter of water, feel humid air in his throat and see the mirror steamed up. We liked to shower together, but whenever I got out, she would stay in, singing, wanting me to watch her. Vaguely aware that Juliet was still talking, he tried to focus on his body. It felt like there was a hole in his heart: a once-flourishing piece he’d clung onto, knowing it had belonged to Kerra, believing Kerra would return alive and keep adding to it. But now it was a void. Or maybe it was numb, so stupefied it seemed empty. Unfortunately, the only part of him that didn’t feel deadened was his wrist. It throbbed sorely, practically glowing a garish red.
‘Nicolas?’ Juliet drew his attention.
‘Sorry. We need to decide if we are doing this, then. Once we tell the medium everything, we can’t go back on it.’ He watched Juliet’s cerulean eyes deliberate the matter. ‘I’m fed up of keeping it all in my head. There are still things I need to tell you about that day at Grendel Manor. If Tamara can help us find out more about Austin, then let’s take the risk.’
‘Okay.’ Juliet sounded resolute. ‘I’ll call her to let her know we’re coming. Start driving towards Willow.’
And so he did. Very quietly he could hear the dial tone go on and on, and then out of the corner of one eye, he saw Juliet hang up. ‘She’s not answering her home phone. I’ll try her mobile.’ This time Nick didn’t even hear the tones. ‘I think she’s switched it off. When I’m in a session with her, she normally turns her mobile off and ignores her home phone.’
‘We’ll have to show up unexpected, then.’
While he drove, he thought about Juliet. If he could feel anything right now, one definite emotion would be uncomfortable (aside from grieving, of course). He remembered the instant attraction he’d felt the first time he saw Juliet in person. She was gorgeous. But now she looked somehow even better, with an almost ethereal quality to her. It must be to do with her immortality, he realised, and just thinking about it made his head swirl. Immortality; there’s something to dwell on later. But he stopped his musings when a voice popped into his head and told him it was wrong to dwell on Juliet.
He heard Kerra singing.
Still in Etherby, he spotted an empty park that backed on to a row of council houses with tiny gardens. He pulled over, scanned the inside of his car, and noticed a plastic bag poking out from under Juliet’s chair. He made her aware of it and she passed it to him. He put the handcuffs inside, tied the carrier shut, and then got out of the vehicle.
The park was the size of a small football pitch. Actually, there were dented and dilapidated goalposts at either side. Nick located a bin and tried to appear casual when he threw the bag inside.
On his return to the car, he decided to tell Juliet everything. They needed to come up with a plan, but there were just too many unsaid things bogging him down. ‘Do you know who else was immortal, or at least a lot older than he looked?’ he said, back in his seat.
Juliet seemed startled. ‘Aldrich?’ She shook her head slowly. ‘He wasn’t like me, was he?’
‘I don’t think so. Unless you can control minds …’ Miserably amused by the notion, he started the car back up and resumed driving. ‘But in the woods, he told me he’d been given longevity by a god called Moloch that he worshipped.’
‘Moloch?’ The way she said it suggested she’d never heard the name before.
‘There’s more …’ He quickly told her about the sacrifices Aldrich had made to his god. Even if it was unfair to dump this truth on Juliet, Nick finally felt a definite wave of relief. Within seconds, though, the numbness returned.
He twisted and saw that Juliet’s face had gone pale. ‘He sent children through the portal? To whom? To what? Do you think they were sent through to Austin?’
‘Maybe.’ He considered it to the extent he could manage. ‘If he truly is immortal, then it could have been him posing as Moloch and taking advantage of Aldrich’s delusion and power.’
Suddenly raising her voice, Juliet said, ‘Why didn’t you tell me this before?’ Her hands shook in Nick’s periphery.
‘What? In between everything that happened that day? Or do you mean afterwards, when you told me never to contact you again?’ He was almost shouting himself towards the end of the sentence, which was strange, considering his deadened emotions. He pulled over. ‘We obviously need to talk, and I already don’t think I’m in the best state to drive, so let’s get everyth
ing out now.’
‘I don’t want to argue,’ she said plainly.
Nick gave a big shrug and a huff. ‘Neither do I. I just … I wish you hadn’t walked away from it all. You were unfair.’ He looked uncomfortably at her face. It was hard, her muscles pulled towards her eyes and nose.
She averted her gaze and admitted, ‘You’re right.’
‘Then why did you do it? Actually, don’t answer just yet. I understand some of the reasons you did it: You were distressed over Tommy murdering Aldrich, and you didn’t want to be involved with us in case we were caught. But why did you walk away from me, after you sought me out, and you wanted to come along, and then you kissed me?’ Once the words were out, he wondered where they had come from. I never thought of it like that before.
Juliet mumbled something and looked out of the window. She seemed less forward than Nick remembered her; before, she’d been ardent in her opinions and quick to voice them, and she’d even come across a bit cold and hard-hearted. Has she had it rough since Aldrich’s death? He began to sympathise, but told himself, I wouldn’t know. If she had reached out to me, I would have supported her. Would she be so forgiving if this were turned around? She’s the one who told me you shouldn’t coddle people, that you should let them learn from their own mistakes.
‘Nicolas … I know it makes no difference now, but I did want to get to know you. I wanted to go on that date we talked about. But Tommy killing Aldrich caught me off guard. I didn’t know how to handle it, so I panicked and let us make the deal with Ryan. The thought of seeing you, and of seeing your brother Tommy … I didn’t want to be reminded of what I witnessed.’ Then, very seriously, she said, ‘I didn’t want to be reminded of my mistakes.’
Her honesty had an effect on Nick. After some consideration, he decided her explanation was enough for him. ‘Okay. Well, it hasn’t been easy for me and my brothers either, but I understand.’ He let out a long breath. ‘Anyway, it’s wrong talking about what happened between … us.’ Us? I shouldn’t even say that. ‘Kerra’s suffering. I should be focusing on helping her.’
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