‘Have you accepted that she is your baby?’
He carried on walking away.
‘She’s your daughter, you ignorant bastard, your daughter …’
Sean Donnelly didn’t turn around.
‘Johnnie,’ Gracie shouted at the top of her voice. ‘See Sean out, will you? And don’t let him back. Ever.’
‘What happened out there?’ Johnnie Riordan asked him as they walked back through the old house to the front door.
‘She told me the baby’s not normal.’
‘Did she? And what did you say?’ Johnnie asked.
‘The wrong thing as usual and then Gracie just switched off. I was shocked, that’s all. I mean, what if someone told you one of yours might be affected, what does that mean? I don’t understand …’ Sean said obliviously.
‘I’m sure she explained it.’ Johnnie said, still with a smile on his face. ‘What are you going to do?’
‘I don’t know; it’s all such a shock. Gracie warned me in the garden that the baby might be having problems but I never thought that it might be serious. I expected her to be small but handicapped? I didn’t realise what she meant … Jesus, what would you do?’ Sean looked at him intently.
‘It’s what you’re going to do that counts, me old mate. And if you’re not going to do what’s right for a father to do, then just get out of here and out of their lives.’
‘That’s for me to decide. Gracie’s my wife and that’s my daughter, they’re my business and you should be minding yours …’ Sean pulled his shoulders back and looked Johnnie in the eye.
‘So you’re going to do the right thing then?’ Johnnie asked. ‘You’re going to provide for your wife and baby? Because if not then I’ll …’
‘You’ll what? Go on, tell me. You threaten away, big man – you don’t fucking scare me!’ Sean interrupted him with a dry laugh. ‘You’re not one to say anything after what you drove your own wife to. You did her wrong and she’s dead and buried now so don’t preach to me from on high! I’ll decide what I’m doing and when I’m going to do it.’
He walked away and out of the building without a backward glance. Johnnie Riordan watched him go. He wanted to batter him into the ground but instead he leaned back against the wall and thought about the whole messy situation, about what had happened to both of them and he wondered how he himself might have reacted.
He had never been unfaithful physically to Sadie, his wife, but he had never loved her the way she had wanted to be loved and it was only after the event that he had realised he had done her a huge disservice in marrying her.
As he thought back to his own ill-fated marriage he felt a small twinge of sympathy for Sean Donnelly.
Gracie and Sean had drifted together over a long period of time and everyone had assumed they were right for each other, but now Johnnie could see the parallels with his own mistakes.
He rushed out and shouted, ‘Sean! Sean? Wait a minute. Fancy a snifter in the pub? I’m due a lunch break …’
Sean looked at him cautiously. ‘Just now you were going to be smashing all my limbs to smithereens …’
‘I know I was, but you’re right. There are two sides and no one looked at the other side with me. I had so much unfair stick over Sadie. Go on,’ he grinned and playfully punched Sean on his upper arm.
‘I can’t now, I have to get to the café. I’m already late – but this evening?’
‘Okay. In the Castle at seven?’
‘That would be grand.’ Sean paused and smiled. ‘Thank you, Johnnie, I appreciate it.’
As he went back into the house Gracie came through from the other way.
‘Was he okay?’
‘He was. He’s gone to work now.’
‘Did you say anything to him?’
‘I just suggested he thought about how he was going to deal with all this. Hopefully he’ll make the right decision.’ Johnnie put an arm around Gracie’s shoulder and hugged her. ‘I think he will but it depends on what you think is the right decision.’
‘Are you feeling sorry for him?’ Gracie asked suspiciously. ‘Are you taking his side? Because I think I’ve been more than fair to him …’
‘Gracie, I’m not taking sides. I was just wondering what’s best if he’s going to be with Jennifer. Do you want him to be a father to Fay under those circumstances? Or would it be better if he and your sister were both out of your life? You need to think about it before you push him to do something neither of you want.’
Gracie looked at him. She had grown to love Johnnie like the brother she’d never had and she knew he felt the same sibling affection for her, but at that moment she wasn’t sure if he was actually feeling sympathy for Sean.
‘So what do you think I should do?’ she asked curiously.
‘Oh, no, no, no! I’m not answering that, any more than Ruby would. You have to figure it out for yourself. Now I have to get back to this heap of rubble that needs shifting or I’ll be here all night.’
TWENTY-NINE
Gracie, Ruby and Jeanette were all up in the flat at the end of a long hard Saturday of check-ins and check-outs. Henry the night porter was already on duty at the reception desk and Johnnie was closeted in the office with a pile of paperwork and a glass of brandy, so it was a rare evening off for Ruby and an opportunity for the three young women to catch up and have a lazy fish and chips supper together.
Jeanette had volunteered to go out to get it from the fish and chip shop along the road and, once she got back, they had all settled round the small oval table under the window eating it out of the paper while at the same time chatting, laughing and enjoying a port and lemon each.
Ruby had made some superficial changes to the flat during the previous weeks, altering the layout of the furniture, putting new pictures up on the walls and hanging some different curtains. It was just enough to modernise the room a little, without altering it too drastically. It was comfortable and cosy without being as old-fashioned as it was, but it also meant that the character of Leonora Wheaton hadn’t been completely erased.
After they’d finished eating they cleared the table and Ruby sat back down to go through her backlog of mail, while Jeanette sat opposite her with a mirror, a bag of rollers and pins in front of her. Gracie was on the sofa, crocheting a jacket for Fay, who was fast asleep in her cot in Gracie’s bedroom.
‘Have you got a start date yet, Jeanette?’ Ruby asked.
‘I know it’s going to be in September, but not the actual date. Just think, that’s when you’ll be shot of me! I’ll be living in the nurses’ home at the hospital, don’t know which yet, and behaving like a nun apparently. They keep their student nurses under lock and key.’ Jeanette laughed. ‘When they showed us round I thought it looked just how I imagined St Angela’s …’
‘Nothing could ever be like St Angela’s,’ Gracie said. ‘Unless you’re in the workhouse, or prison, or down in hell.’
‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that – I forgot. We always used to say that at school, it’s a habit. I didn’t mean it like that …’ Jeanette clasped her hand over her mouth.
‘Oh I know you didn’t, you daft mare,’ Gracie smiled quickly. ‘I’d say it myself if I wasn’t so bloody scared of everyone finding out I’d actually been there. Mind you, they will find out soon. I can’t see Sean and Jennifer not broadcasting it across the town. But never mind that now, tell us some more about your interview.’
Jeanette jumped up from her seat and bowed.
‘It was nerve-wracking but, hold the front page, Jeanette McCabe passed her nursing exam. How about that? I did something clever for the first time in my life, and I did it of my own accord.’
‘You’re being modest now; you always were clever, you just didn’t apply yourself as your report cards always said. But this is so exciting. Imagine, Jeannie becoming a nurse! Even Mum’s impressed and that takes a lot to do.’ Gracie grinned at her sister.
So many times over the previous few months she had felt both am
azed and guilty at how little notice she had really taken of her younger sister. Both of her sisters, in fact. She had always thought of them as ‘the twins’ and assumed they were content with each other but now she realised that was only how they were when they were small. Everyone had always lumped them together as one unit, whereas in fact they were two very separate people.
‘It’s been good for Mum actually, something to boast to the neighbours about,’ Jeanette said. ‘And it’s been a distraction after her distress at what our mad sister’s done and all that. Poor cow, she can’t quite get over Saint Jennifer’s amazing leap off the perfect daughter pedestal into the fires of hell …’
‘There’s none so blind as those that won’t see, as Mum herself always says!’ Gracie said. ‘It would be funny if it wasn’t so bloody tragic. Though to be fair to Mum even I hadn’t realised quite what a bitch Jennifer was, I really hadn’t.’
‘When you went for your interview did you spy any of your hunky doctors roaming the corridors, looking lost and in need of some tender loving care?’ Ruby asked as she shuffled and sorted the papers in front of her.
‘Not a single one, they were probably all doing doctorly things somewhere. But I did meet Matron and she is a very frightening woman, far more scary than Mum in full flow. She marched into the room like a Major General and we all automatically jumped up. Someone said she’s really nice underneath but I can’t see it!’
‘I wonder if she’s got a doctor to keep her warm?’
‘I’ve told you already, there’s a single hunky doctor in the house at Melton. He’s ready and waiting for you, perfect husband material and ready to be snapped up …’ Gracie said to Jeannie, laughing. ‘We’ll have to fit in a visit so you can meet him.’
‘And I told you … anytime! Now, who’s for another drink?’
Out of the blue, Gracie felt a huge wave of affection for the sister who had not only supported her in her hour of need, but had done so with subtlety and humour. Especially as she could easily have sided with her twin and left Gracie completely out in the cold.
The previous year had been hell but it had helped Gracie to have her sister there and the drama also brought her slightly closer to her mother. There would always be a chasm between Gracie and Dot McCabe but it was narrower than it had been over the years since she had been packed off to St Angela’s, and for that she was grateful.
It meant her daughter would have at least one set of grandparents in her life.
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake,’ Ruby suddenly said as she opened another letter from the pile in front of her. ‘I don’t believe it, your mother-in-law wants to come and stay here! For nothing. She wants a free room here for two weeks …’
She peered at the letter as if she might have got it wrong first time, and then read it aloud to Gracie and Ruby.
Dear Miss Blakeley,
I’m sure you remember me. I am Sean Donnelly’s mother and the grandmother of the baby Fay Donnelly and I stayed at your establishment when the ill-fated marriage between my son and his wife Gracie took place.
I am hoping to be visiting my son and granddaughter but, because of the circumstances of which I’m sure you are well aware, my son is staying in a place which is unable to accommodate me.
As a friend and employer of Gracie, my daughter-in-law, I am hoping you will see your way to letting me stay in your hotel at no charge. I want to meet my granddaughter and also pay my respects to my late grandson but I am unable to find the funds for anything other than the fare for the boat and trains. Because of his hard times Sean cannot help me.
I will be accompanied by my close friend Yolande Hall as I’m unable to travel alone and we will stay in the same room but in separate beds.
If it is acceptable to you I shall be arriving on the twenty-third and staying for two weeks exactly.
Please don’t mention this to Sean as I don’t want him to feel obligated and I also want my visit to be a surprise for him.
I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.
Yours sincerely,
Rosaleen Donnelly
‘Well, bugger that for a game of soldiers …’ Gracie said. ‘Who does she think she is? And as for the awful Yolande, I met her in Ireland when Sean and I got engaged. She’s a neighbour of the Donnellys, and she makes Hitler look like a kindly old soul in comparison.’
Ruby and Jeanette both laughed at Gracie’s words as Ruby passed the letter over for them to read for themselves.
‘Maybe she really does just want to see her grandchild. Sean is her precious only son, she’s bound to. I feel a bit sorry for her, like I do for our mum. Another one fallen off the pedestal of the idolised child,’ Jeanette said after reading the letter for herself. ‘Have you noticed I’m learning to be nice now that I’m going to be a nurse …’
‘We noticed …’ Ruby said. ‘You’re quite good, you nearly had me convinced.’
‘I’m sure she does feel bad, but to ask for a free room? Blimey, that’s cheek for you! And anyway, I don’t trust her.’ Gracie shook her head. ‘And why isn’t she writing to me? I’m Fay’s mother, she lives with me …’
‘She knows you live here so she’ll know I’ll tell you. I don’t know about trusting her but I suppose I do feel a bit sorry for her as well.’ Ruby said. ‘But it’s up to you, Gracie: yes or no?’
‘It’s not up to me, it’s your hotel but if you both feel so bloody sorry for the old battleaxe and her miniature sidekick …’
‘How about I agree to one room for both of them but only for one week? I’ll tell her we’re booked up for the other week, like it or lump it. We can do that, but if you really don’t want her here then that’s up to you.’
‘She’s a witch and I think she’s up to something but I still feel a bit sorry for her,’ Gracie said, her words tailing off as she thought about it.
‘At least if she’s here you can keep an eye on her. She can see Fay without the risk of Jennifer worming her way in.’ Ruby smiled. ‘And then if she plays up when she’s here we’ll drag her off to the ducking stool!’
Ruby and Jeanette both laughed but Gracie didn’t join in.
‘I wonder how much Sean has told her about Fay? I would hate it if she didn’t know, but I can imagine her reaction if she does. She won’t be happy, that’s for certain.’
‘I hadn’t thought of that,’ Ruby frowned. ‘But surely Sean has told her and if it was a problem for her she wouldn’t be coming over.’
‘I wonder what he’s told her about us? I mean, she’s not going to be happy at the break-up, even though she couldn’t stand the sight of me in the first place. Marriage is forever in her eyes and we barely managed a year!’ Gracie rolled her eyes at Ruby and Jeanette. ‘Shame on us.’
‘Well, as I said, it’s up to you. I can just write and say we don’t have any rooms and that’ll be the end of it.’
Gracie leant back and closed her eyes. ‘No, let’s get it over with. She can stay, but no sea view for the old crones. And it’ll be interesting if she hasn’t told Sean she’s coming, won’t it? Imagine if she turns up and finds him and Jennifer in that disgusting bed together in that crummy, smelly room?’
Again the three women sniggered. After three port and lemons each everything was suddenly funny.
‘Are they still there? I can’t believe it, how the mighty have fallen. I can’t believe Jennifer has sunk so low. She must be off her head … they both must be,’ Jeanette said with a laugh but Gracie knew that regardless of everything that had happened, she was sad at the loss of the twin sister she had shared her life with for so long.
‘In a strange way I suppose I hope they’ll be happy together. Preferably not round here, though …’
This time when they laughed, Gracie’s laughter wasn’t quite so loud.
For the first time since Sean had thrown her out she had started to feel settled. She had got into a routine with work and Fay, and her life was calm. Sean had been back to see Fay just the once and although he had
been less confrontational, Gracie could tell he just didn’t want to be there. She knew instinctively that he wouldn’t be part of Fay’s life and it saddened her but she accepted it.
She just hoped that her mother-in-law would accept it also.
THIRTY
Gracie remained resolutely out of sight as Rosaleen Donnelly, Sean’s mother, and her friend Yolande Hall arrived at the reception desk of the Thamesview Hotel. They were both dressed from top-to toe in dark clothing, each had one small suitcase and a handbag, and both looked as mournful as if they were about to attend a funeral, serious-faced and straight-backed.
Johnnie had collected them from the station in town and was busy trying to charm them as they waited for Ruby to check them in at the desk but it made her smile to see that he was fighting a losing battle. They were both looking ahead and she could see they were resolutely determined to ignore him, despite his best efforts.
As they stood side by side in silence, looking uneasy and uncomfortable, Gracie continued to watch surreptitiously from behind the sliding glass windows of the hatch between the outer and inner reception area. The area that was out of sight was small and airless with just enough space for two chairs and a tiny table which wobbled and was covered in stains and burns from cigarettes that had fallen from the small Bakelite ashtray. The room was mostly used as somewhere to sit and have a drink and a cigarette when the reception desk was quiet, but because of the small hatch, it also served as a useful spot to secretly watch what was going on.
Rosaleen was a buxom woman who was tidy and well-turned out, despite the long journey she’d just endured, but her clothes and shoes told a story of hardship and make do and mend. Her friend was small and wiry and equally neat and tidy, but her clothes were noticeably newer and classier. Rosaleen was standing perfectly still, but Yolande Hall was moving from foot to foot impatiently. It was obvious neither woman wanted to be there, cap in hand at Ruby Blakeley’s hotel, but Gracie could see the situation would be harder for her mother-in-law to bear. Gracie didn’t like Yolande at all; she had found her mean-spirited and spiteful, but she respected her for supporting her friend Rosaleen in her hour of need.
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