My cowboy.
Damn, he looked sexy. I must have been out of my mind to run out on him.
As our chopper landed, he straightened from his slouch. I couldn’t see his eyes because they were shaded by wrap-around glasses popular with SpecOps folks. The chopper’s co-pilot jumped out and slid our door open. I left the blanket on the chopper and exited. Porter followed behind me.
The brisk air hit me and goose bumps pebbled over my bare legs, reminding me I was far from Miami. I absently rubbed my upper arms. Maybe I should have kept the blanket.
Colt headed toward us. He nodded at the admiral then glanced at me. Or at least I think he was looking at me. I could feel his eyes drilling holes into me behind his sunglasses. His jaw clenched tight.
When he was upon us, he took my hand without uttering a word. Then he proceeded to lead me to the car. Not exactly dragging me but, it was clear, he wasn’t putting up with any resistance from me. As we reached his vehicle, he opened the door, reached in for his leather jacket and put me into it.
A muscle jumped in his jaw. I couldn’t meet his eyes; not when they were hiding behind dark lenses.
A finger tilted up my chin.
“Welcome home,” he murmured. “And, babe? That’s the last time you’re running away from me.”
My brows shot up at his statement. Uh, what? I couldn’t help the incredulous snort that escaped my lips. “Or what, Colt?”
A corner of his mouth tipped up. “Or I’m gonna blister that ass.”
Indignation prevented an immediate retort. When I recovered and was about to speak, Porter said, “If you two lovebirds are done with the reunion, we need to get going.”
“We’re not—”
Colt held the already open door wider. “Get in.”
We had a stare-down between the time Porter opened the passenger side door and got in. “Sometime today would be good, people.”
“You’re still an ornery old man, Admiral,” I grumbled as I climbed into the Suburban.
Colt chuckled and closed my door.
I was surprised to see Millie at the ranch house. Was she a part of whatever scheme Porter was cooking up? Additionally, my siblings were noticeably absent and that bothered me.
My brows cinched together at the stack of documents on the table. I recognized some of the logos on the folders from my time at Quantagen. Thirteen years before, after the Chrysalis lab in Colombia was busted, the remaining ES—Piper and myself—were kept hidden at Quantagen, a research facility for a big pharmaceutical company. It had been an ideal front because they did perform legitimate experiments which managed to hide their illegal ones.
A shudder rippled through me at the memory. I wasn’t sure I’d come out of the experience unscathed. The Gray Room in my head tickled the base of my skull.
“I’m not talking about Quantagen,” I said firmly, nodding at the binders. “Anything you need is in those files.”
The admiral sat at the head of the rectangular table. “Please take a seat, Kate.”
“I prefer to stand.”
“Believe me, you’ll want to be seated for this,” he returned evenly. Colt was leaning against the wall right by the admiral as Millie took her seat beside Porter.
“You’re not known for quibbling, so just spit it out.” The three of them on one side of the table with me on the other already put me at a disadvantage.
“Okay.” The admiral nodded, spreading his hands in exasperation. “Do you know Aleksey Romanov?”
I stiffened. “Is that a trick question?” I asked. “You know he was my partner in that Niger op.”
“Refresh my memory,” the admiral said. “A lot of the briefing was off the record.”
“We did a job and we got rid of the Sand Line Butcher.”
“You were a great team,” the admiral acknowledged. I could feel Colt’s gaze on me. He shifted his stance from relaxed to defensive with arms across his chest. “After the op, didn’t Aleksey become a problem?”
“We handled it.”
“Meaning you, Matt, and a little warning from Harold Baxter?” The latter was the dirty CIA officer who was responsible for the biggest misuse of resources in the agency’s history. Chrysalis was his brainchild.
“Yes.”
“Why was he a problem, Kate?”
“We had a sexual relationship.”
I did my best to keep my eyes on the admiral even when I felt a blast of fury from the man standing by the wall.
“He didn’t want it to end,” the admiral concluded. “You were twenty-two. Assassins’ jobs could get lonely.”
“Don’t make excuses for me,” I snapped. “I didn’t regret our affair when I was with him. It was only when I wanted it to end that he became difficult. He understood it was temporary and then he tried to change the rules.”
“He became obsessed with you.”
“Yes.”
“For years.”
I frowned. “No. It was only that first year after our mission concluded.”
“I’ll get to that later,” Porter said. “Do you know where he is now?”
“Once he left me alone, I didn’t see the need to keep tabs on him. He joined the Spetsnaz.”
“Alpha Team,” Porter elaborated. They were Russia’s equivalent of the Navy SEALs. “He rose through the ranks and became interested in other projects.” His eyes narrowed in a way that unnerved me. “He never lost his obsession with you. He did everything to get back to you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Thirteen years ago, before Chrysalis imploded, Baxter made a deal with the Russian’s Spetsnaz Soldier Development Program—Romanov is in charge of that program.”
“He’s coming after me?” I asked. “After all these years? That seems hard to believe.”
Millie coughed and my eyes snapped to Colt’s. He turned ruddy under his tan. Days like this I wished I had never been created. Beauty could be a blessing and a curse.
“You know we could have skipped all this history lesson and you could have just told me that Alex was after me,” I sighed. “Would it make everyone feel better if I moved into town?”
Millie and Colt’s faces took on a sympathetic turn, escalating my unease.
“That’s not even half of the story,” Porter said. “Kate, please sit down.”
This time I acquiesced. I took a few steps forward, pulled out the chair beside Porter and sat in it.
“What else?” I leaned against the chair.
Porter pulled out a folder. “I had a devil of a time finding proof. But twice, when you were in a coma at Quantagen, Romanov visited you.”
“What?” I whispered breathlessly. Chills raised the hair on my arms and the nape of my neck. The admiral pushed some pictures toward me. It showed a man sitting in a couch by my clinic bed while I was in a coma.
It was Alex.
“That’s insane,” I muttered. “But how could Quantagen allow him to see me? Why are there even pictures of this?”
The admiral shrugged. “Baxter didn’t trust Aleksey not to run off with you. So they kept track of where he was at all times while he was at the facility.”
“What does he get out of it?” Ugh, if I knew he was going to become this creepy stalker, I wouldn’t have started anything with him.
“Baxter couldn’t give you to Romanov. You were too valuable. The Enhanced Soldiers were his greatest accomplishment and your presence kept Piper under control.” Porter exhaled heavily. “But Aleksey did get something out of it.”
He pushed another binder toward me. “I’m very sorry, Kate. As ruthless as I am, even I wouldn’t consent to such an arrangement.”
A crushing weight fell on my chest. I was furious at myself for the tears that brimmed my eyes. “If these are pictures of him raping me …”
Porter’s eyes widened, a rare shocked expression blanched his face. “No. God, no. I don’t think Baxter or anyone at Quantagen would have permitted that.”
I gave a shaky laugh. “Y
ou should watch your words then.” Relief was as palpable as the lungful of air I’d just exhaled. Taking the folder from him, I flipped it open. Confusion made my eyes squint.
“Who are these children …”
Oh my God.
I scanned the pictures. I glanced up at Colt and then Millie. Their bodies were rigid in anticipation of my reaction.
“I have to ask you,” Porter said slowly. “Were you ever pregnant?”
“Never,” I croaked, feeling the blood leave my head.
“This proves my theory that they extracted your oocytes—eggs—and gave them to the Russians. The DNA indicates that you and Romanov are the parents of Josh and Olivia. The last name on their files is Danvers. The only reason they appeared on the agency’s radar was because we received intel that the Russians were genetically engineering the next generation of spies. Explains why the twins have American names and accents …”
I barely registered what Porter was saying as cold sweat formed on my forehead. Colt was instantly at my side, crouched in front of me.
“Deep inhales, Kate. Slow.”
I didn’t realize I was panting.
“Millie, get some water.”
“Twins.” My voice was hoarse. “How do you know they have an accent? Do you have videos … or …” My jaw flexed painfully.
“Shh …” Colt soothed. “Admiral, can we—”
“How do you know their accent?” My chair scraped back as I stood. Bad idea. The room tilted but Colt was there to steady me.
“We couldn’t stay uninvolved any longer,” Porter said. “We had to retrieve them.”
“No. Oh, no. They …” I looked at the pictures again and read their birthdate. “Not again,” I whispered. “Where are they now?”
I don’t want to know.
But I needed to.
“They’re here,” the admiral said.
I took a grateful gulp from the glass of water Millie handed me to quench my suddenly parched throat. “Here … at the ranch?”
“They’re with Mac,” Colt informed me gently.
“Do you want to meet them?” Porter asked.
“Admiral,” Colt snapped. “Would you fucking shut up for a minute?”
Too late. I ripped myself away from Colt’s arms, stumbling back.
His concerned gaze searched my face.
I shook my head from side to side. “I can’t.”
I turned and ran out the back door.
9
Kate
I. Could. Not. Breathe.
Slamming out of the house, I took three steps, teetered on my high heels, and fell to my knees.
Emotions I couldn’t identify rioted through my heart.
Was I angry?
I felt violated.
Was I scared?
Definitely.
But there was an awakening of wary hope. Were these twins my redemption? A chance to make things right where I failed with Piper?
Then there was doubt. Did I have any right to them? Was the admiral simply informing me that he had my offspring? Could I even call them my kids?
Boots stopped in my line of vision and warmth enveloped me as I was dragged against a hard wall of muscle.
“I don’t know what to feel,” I cried into Colt’s shirt. I tried to say some more, but another sob clogged my throat and choked my words. Tremors I couldn’t control shook my body.
“Hush,” he whispered. “The admiral shouldn’t have sprung it on you that way.”
I laughed bitterly. “Was there any other way to tell me?”
There was a long pause, and then, “Guess not.”
“Is he expecting me to act as their mother?”
“Not sure. Do you want to?”
“I don’t know … I don’t think I can,” I replied. These kids were strangers to me as I was to them. There was no bond. And therein lay my fears. The bond between a mother and child, much like twins, was forged in the womb. As broken as I was, even considering my caring for them was irresponsible. If that was what the admiral was thinking, he was out of his mind.
“Let’s get off the ground,” Colt muttered as he pulled me to my feet. “You okay?”
“Not even close.”
“I mean … to stand.”
“Yes, I’m okay.” I wiped the tears from my cheeks. “Sorry.”
“Don’t,” Colt said roughly. “It was too much to take in. You don’t have to be strong all the time.” He paused. “And I’ve got strong shoulders.”
This time my laugh was more appreciative. “Thank you.”
I glanced back at the house. “I don’t know what to do.”
“What you’re not going to do is run away,” Colt said, switching to a firm tone. “You don’t have to make a decision on anything today, babe. I’ve got this.”
“What do you mean?”
“The admiral has placed them into my care,” he said. “So far they’ve been great so it’s no hardship. Millie and Mac have been pitching in. You don’t want to be hands-on, that’s fine, but I’d ask that you guide me through my parenting skills.”
“You’ll take care of them?” I asked in wonder as well as feeling ashamed with how I was reacting. The words “deadbeat mom” echoed in my head.
Colt shrugged. “I’ve done it before with Lucas and Cassie. The difference now is that we’re not dealing with teenagers. We’re talking about eight-year-old children who still need a lot of guidance from adults.”
“And you think I could give guidance?”
“You’ve taken care of Enhanced Soldiers before.”
This didn’t even occur to me. “Are you saying they have unusual abilities?”
Millie slammed out of the back door and walked up to us. “You’ve got exactly two seconds to get your shit together, Kate,” she told me in no uncertain terms. “Josh and Olivia are in the house and want to see you. Mac said he couldn’t keep them in the bunkhouse any longer.”
“Why?” Colt asked. “They had no idea Kate was coming tonight.”
“I don’t know,” the older woman replied. “Mac said Olivia became unsettled. She wouldn’t say anything but was pulling Mac out the door, pointing at the ranch house.”
“Okay, this is weird,” I muttered, but a pang of concern stabbed my conscience. I blew out a breath. “Let’s get this over with.”
Colt nodded. “By the way, Josh is an empath.”
A grimace stole over his features.
Well, fudge.
* * *
I stared at them.
They stared at me.
The length of the table separated us, and my feet were glued to the floor. This meeting was weird, awkward even. If anyone was expecting a tear-filled reunion, they weren’t going to get it. It couldn’t be a reunion because these kids and I had never met.
I didn’t fit with these kids.
And judging from Josh’s somber expression, he was feeling the same.
“Hi,” I offered weakly.
The admiral gave an irritated huff.
“You’re our mom.” It was a statement with a slight question.
“It appears I am,” I said. Millie nudged me. I glanced back at her. “What?”
“A little more enthusiasm,” she whispered.
“Empath,” Colt coughed.
This was ridiculous. A piece of paper didn’t make one a mother, just as blood didn’t define one. Lucas and Cassie, Piper and Cubby—we were in no way related in blood, but there was no question we were brothers and sisters in every way that mattered.
But as I stared into their eyes, especially Olivia’s, I had no doubt they were mine. I took a tentative step forward. “Do you like it here?”
“Horses.” Olivia grinned and the muscle in my chest jolted.
“That’s great.”
“Mom?” Josh started.
I couldn’t help it. I winced.
My smile was tight when I turned to him. “Yes, Josh?”
“What’s your name?” he asked.
“Can I call you Ms. Kate?” he said. “Mom sounds weird.”
Maybe I should feel hurt, but relief overwhelmed me. The heavy weight on my chest lifted. These kids—they weren’t ready either and I was more than fine with that. Everyone else—the grown-ups—were quietly observing our exchange.
“Ms. Kate sounds great.” My smile was genuine this time. Olivia shuffled up to me and tugged at my hand. “Ms. Katie.”
“She likes to make nicknames,” Josh explained.
“Fine by me,” I chuckled. Her eyes were the unusual shade of blue that stared right back at me in the mirror. I touched Olivia’s golden curls. “They’re like mine.”
Her little mouth widened into a proud grin. Be still my heart.
“Are you marrying Mr. Colt?” she asked as her head shifted to the man beside me.
Millie snorted.
The admiral chuckled.
I snuck an embarrassed look at Colt who was grinning like a fool; it sent my heart racing. Our eyes locked. He emitted a muffled laugh before lowering his eyes to the floor.
“Uh, Colt and I, we’re not …”
“He likes you,” Josh stated. “A lot.”
“Josh, buddy, what did I tell you?” Colt said in an amused voice.
Josh bit his lower lip as if controlling a grin. “Sorry, Mr. Colt.”
“Does Kate like him, too?” Millie asked, laughing.
“Millie,” I shushed the diner owner before turning my attention back to the kids. “Colt and I are friends.”
An arm came around my shoulder as Colt pulled me against him. He kissed my temple. “But I’m trying to convince her to be more than friends.”
“What does he mean, Josh?” Olivia asked with a sly smile on her face.
Her brother frowned, a crease appearing between his dark brows.
I removed Colt’s arm from around me and pivoted to face him while still holding his hand. I looked past him at Millie and the admiral. “I need a moment to talk to Colt.” I looked at the twins. “Be right back.”
I dragged the man in question into his study. The admiral followed us and I wanted to slam the door on him but I was too agitated and didn’t have the strength to argue with Porter. He always managed to twist situations around to suit his purpose anyway.
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