by KT Shears
‘It’s not like you imagine,’ she said. ‘These are big-money places; he won’t be staying in a dormitory or anything.’
Asher nodded. He had some image in his head of his brother sitting around in a group talking about his feelings. That would go down well.
‘Alright,’ Asher said, heaving a sigh. ‘I’ll try talk to him about it.’
Ava stood up, stretching again.
‘I’ll go and collect my laptop. I need to have a shower as well.’
Asher liked the thought of that, but he was too worried about the situation with his brother to give the thought the attention it really deserved.
‘You really don’t have to,’ Asher said.
‘I want to,’ Ava said, looking right in his eyes. He nodded and she left the room. He heard the front door close.
He checked his watch. It was 7:30am so he had a while before he had to leave for the track. He looked at the note Ava had given him. The names of the places on it didn’t sound like rehab places, he had to admit.
He sat in the armchair that Ava had been in, noting it was still warm from her body, and considered his next step. He would have to tell mom and dad, that much was clear. They would be devastated if they found out about Devlin’s problems from the papers or online. He didn’t want them flying out here, though. He knew Devlin wouldn’t appreciate it, and would probably end up upsetting their mom even more. Maybe if he could persuade Devlin to go to one of these places, his mom and dad would be satisfied that he was being cared for.
He knew Ava was right – this was more than he was equipped to deal with. Even if he and Devlin were close, he didn’t have the right expertise to help him through this. He would call Colin after training and see if he could help. It wasn’t strictly his remit, but he knew Colin would help as best he could.
Devlin stirred and opened his eyes.
‘Hey,’ Asher said, watching his brother look around the room, confused.
‘Ash?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Where am I?’
Asher sighed.
‘You’re in my spare room,’ he said. ‘Do you remember last night at all.’
There was a long pause, and Asher could almost see the cogs whirring in Devlin’s head.
‘Bits’ he said, eventually.
Asher nodded.
‘You were pretty out of it, man,’ he said, blowing out his cheeks. ‘I picked you up from a club – the Cinnamon Club or something?’
‘Yeah, I know it.’
Asher wondered what to say next. Surely Devlin could remember at least some of what had happened.
‘Where’s the chick?’ Devlin asked.
‘Ava?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Gone to get her laptop. She’ll be back soon. She said she’d sit with you – I have some stuff to do.’ He didn’t want to mention racing in case it set Devlin off again.
‘Fuck, man, I don’t need a babysitter.’ Devlin sat up, looking annoyed.
‘She’s the only reason you’re here and not in a police cell,’ Asher snapped. He was fed up of Devlin’s entitled bullshit. ‘Fucking hell, man, you need to get a grip of yourself.’
‘I’m fine,’ Devlin said, glaring at Asher.
‘You are not fine,’ Asher said, shaking his head in wonder. ‘You need help. This is beyond me.’
‘Then just leave me to it.’
‘I’m not doing that. Even though you’re a gigantic asshole, you’re still my brother. Look, Ava gave me a list of some places where-
‘Places? Like rehab? You must be fucking joking, Ash.’
Asher shook his head. How would he make his brother see sense?
Chapter eleven
When Ava arrived back at Asher’s apartment, she could feel the tension between him and his brother in the air. Asher opened the door looking incredibly frustrated.
‘Is everything ok?’ she asked, walking into the living room. Devlin must still be in bed, she thought, scanning around the room.
Asher sighed and threw up his hands.
‘He’s hopeless. He won’t listen to a word I say.’
Ava smiled at him, understandingly.
‘Look, you have to leave. Just let me talk to him.’
Asher shook his head.
‘I’m really not happy about leaving you here with him. He’s in a shit mood.’
Ava laughed.
‘I can handle badly behaved rich boys,’ she said, pushing Asher towards the door. ‘Go, don’t crash.’
‘I’ll be back in a couple of hours,’ Asher said, looking reluctant as he lingered on the doorstep. ‘Are you sure-’
‘Don’t make me chuck you out of your own apartment, as well as mine,’ Ava said, looking at him sternly. He chuckled and stepped out of the apartment. ‘I’ll call you if I need.’ And then she shut the door behind him.
She set her laptop down on the table. She should probably have let Asher deal with this himself. This was definitely crossing some sort of ‘one-night-stand’ boundary. She would help him out here and then that would be it. She was only helping because of Rose, nothing to do with Asher. This was her chance to alleviate a bit of the crushing guilt that she felt every day. Nothing more.
She went across to the bedroom door and knocked, even though it was slightly ajar. She heard Devlin grunt from inside and pushed the door open, going inside. He was still in bed, but was sitting up – and looking pretty pissed.
‘Hi, Devlin,’ she said. ‘I don’t know if you remember me from last night.’
‘Ava, right?’ he said, looking her up and down. ‘Are you screwing my brother?’
Ava laughed, which seemed to surprise him. She got the impression he had asked the question to be offensive – but you had to have a thick skin to be in her line of work.
‘I am,’ she admitted. ‘But that’s not why I’m here.’
‘Then why are you here?’
Ava sat down in the armchair beside the bed.
‘I’m not sure what Asher said to you this morning,’ she began. Devlin looked at her, furiously.
‘He wants me to go to some sort of facility,’ he spat, shaking his head.
Ava nodded.
‘Right. First of all, the rehab clinics on that list I gave them are the very best. They are incredibly expensive, think hotel-like luxury, but you’ll get supported to get your life back in order.’
‘My life is fine the way it is.’
Ava sighed.
‘Have you ever seen Asher look worried about you? Ever?’
Devlin thought for a moment and shook his head, slowly.
‘Well last night, he was so worried about you he was freaking out and didn’t know what to do. Doesn’t that tell you something?’
‘I can deal with it myself.’
‘Perhaps, but why make it harder on yourself? Why cut yourself off from support? You are lucky – you have the money to be able to afford the best help. Plenty of people don’t have that luxury.’
She looked down at her hands.
‘I don’t know if Asher mentioned my sister,’ she said, and looked up. Devlin shook his head.
‘What about her?’
‘She died,’ Ava said, shortly. ‘She was an addict – and I failed to help her. I didn’t get her the help I should have, and she died. And I have to live with that every day. If you care about Asher at all, care about your parents at all, you will not put them through that pain. Because believe me, it’s the worst pain there is in the world.’
‘I know you’re in pain too,’ she continued. ‘I know your wife left you, and I know your career isn’t going well, but you can’t let it break you. There are people who care about you – regardless of whether you care about them or not. Asher came running the second you were in trouble, doesn’t that say something? Would you have gone running to him?’
She was pleased to see Devlin colour slightly.
‘Maybe you would have, maybe you wouldn’t have. But he did. And you owe him something. If n
ot for yourself, then for him.’
She sighed, waiting for him to speak, but he didn’t say anything.
‘I bet you remember when you first got picked up by a Formula One team, right? One of the best times of your life, yeah?’
Devlin nodded.
‘Well, Asher is going through that right now. This should be one of the best times of his life. But it’s not, because he’s worried about you and doesn’t know what to do.’
Devlin sighed.
‘He’ll get over it pretty quickly,’ he said.
Ava shook her head, angrily.
‘No he won’t. You’ll be in his head every hour of every day – just like Rose was in mine. Even when he’s racing around that track, he’ll be worried about you. Is that what you want? Do you want him to fail just because you think you have?’
‘I just want my life back,’ Devlin whispered, suddenly sounding like a child.
‘Then do something about it. Take it back yourself.’
She watched as Devlin sat there, thinking about her words. She hoped to God she was getting through to him.
***
Asher pulled back into the garage, taking off his helmet and wiping the sweat from his brow. He wouldn’t say he had been completely focused during the laps he had just done, but he at least was able to put Devlin to the back of his mind, knowing that Ava was there and he couldn’t come to any harm. This was the worst possible timing; he was due to go away in just over a week for the first race of the season. How could he look after Devlin when he was on the other side of the world?
He thought about Ava’s sister, Rose, and the visit from the policeman, feeling sick when he thought of a cop knocking on his parents’ door.
‘You ok, man?’ Felipe clapped a hand on Asher’s back. Asher nodded. ‘You quiet today. And drive a bit shit.’
‘Thanks, man,’ Asher said, witheringly. ‘Just some shit with my brother.’
Felipe nodded sagely.
‘I see,’ he said. ‘Not girl trouble? You get chucked out again?’
Asher chuckled, shaking his head.
‘Not yet,’ he said. ‘What about you?’
‘I never get chucked out,’ Felipe said, sounding proud. ‘I spend every night with Elise now.’
‘Wow man, it sounds serious,’ Asher said, shaking his head.
‘Yes,’ Felipe said, nodding. ‘I take her on holiday this week before season start. We go to America.’
‘You’re taking her on holiday? Dude, you’ve only been seeing each other for like two weeks.’
‘So? I might love her,’ Felipe said, shrugging at the look on Asher’s face.
‘Dude, you are totally whacked,’ Asher said, shaking his head again. This was nuts.
‘Maybe.’ Felipe grinned at him. ‘Maybe you jealous.’ And he disappeared through the back of the garage.
Asher watched him go, annoyed. Of course he wasn’t jealous. Jealous of what? Going on holiday with someone you had known for two weeks? It struck him as crazy. An image flashed in his mind of Ava on the beach in a bikini as he handed her a cocktail. Man, he had to stop listening to Felipe and his nonsense.
He walked through to get showered and changed, stopping to check his phone on the way. He saw he had a text from Ava and opened it, feeling panicky. He hoped Devlin hadn’t kicked off again. His panic turned to amazement as he read the message.
‘Devlin has agreed to rehab – he likes the sound of The Elms. Maybe you could arrange?’
How was she doing this? How was she getting through to him? Devlin hadn’t listened to a word he said. God, he was grateful to her. But, he thought, sadly, this was probably the end of their…whatever it was. She had said she didn’t want to get attached, and he was pretty sure this was crossing some sort of emotional line. Damn, he didn’t like the thought of never seeing her again. He shook his head and dialled Colin.
‘Sup, Asher?’
‘I need help, Col. It’s about my brother.’
‘The almighty Devlin Carter? Who’s he pissed off now?’
Asher explained to Colin about Devlin’s drinking, what had happened the night before, and his acceptance that he needed rehab.
‘So, The Elms, right?’ Colin asked. ‘I’ll call them. With Devlin’s money, he’ll get in easy. I’ll send a car to pick him up at yours when it all goes through.’
‘Thanks, Col, you’re a star.’
‘What about the guys at the club? Did you tell them not to speak to the media?’
‘Ava Duval was with us – the girl who I asked you to look up? She dealt with it.’
‘Right, good call. I’ll be in touch.’
Colin rang off. Asher felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from his mind. Perhaps he could focus on his first race, knowing that Devlin would be safe and being looked after. He toyed with his phone. He had another call to make that he knew wouldn’t be pleasant.
***
When Asher came back to the apartment, Ava could tell he was relieved. He smiled at her, a genuine smile – not the sad smile he had done when he left earlier.
‘Col just rang me,’ he said. ‘There’s a car coming to pick him up in about 15 minutes.’
Ava nodded.
‘He’s had a shower,’ she said. ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I had a rummage in your room and got some clothes for him. The ones he had were covered in God knows what.’
‘That’s fine,’ he said. ‘Thank you for all this – it wouldn’t even have crossed my mind.’
Asher took Ava’s hand and looked at her intently. Ava felt a bit uncomfortable. The way he was looking at her was pretty intimate, not just a friendly thank-you. What made her feel even more uncomfortable is that she didn’t want it to stop. She pulled away, averting her eyes.
‘It’s fine,’ she said. ‘I’m glad he’s going to get some help.’
They stood in silence for a few seconds.
‘I should go,’ Ava said, turning to pick her laptop up from the table. ‘I’m pretty tired.’
‘Of course,’ Asher said, nodding. ‘I’ll be in touch.’
Ava nodded.
‘Just let me know how he does,’ she said. As she turned to leave, she felt Asher take hold of her arm, gently, and turn her back to face him.
‘Really,’ he said, moving his hand to stroke her face. ‘Thank you.’ And then he lowered her lips to Ava’s, kissing her without the passion he had the previous times, but with a softness and tenderness. She kissed him back, sweetly, and then withdrew, suddenly.
‘You’re welcome,’ she said, and left the apartment, forcing herself not to look back at him. That kiss hadn’t been a one-night-stand kiss, that had been an emotional kiss. She couldn’t have stuff like that going on.
When she got home, she crawled into bed. She sent a quick text to Elise, explaining why she wasn’t at work that day, and got a reply saying Elise was off on holiday the next day with Felipe. Holiday? Ava was tempted to call her and ask what the hell she was doing, but she was so tired she didn’t have the energy for that particular conversation.
She thought of Asher and the way he had kissed her. And the way she told him all about Rose. Hardly anyone knew that story, and she had spilled it to a guy she was just screwing. What was going on with her? She needed to pull back. She couldn’t see him again – she should have listened to herself at the start. This was bad news, and she didn’t need a race driver in her life. Even one who was utterly gorgeous, and who she enjoyed spending time with. She had enjoyed spending time with Shay, too, and look how that had ended.
She closed her eyes, willing all thoughts of Asher to get out of her head, and, eventually, she drifted off to sleep.
Chapter twelve
Asher sat on his sofa, his phone in his hands. He wanted to text Ava, but he didn’t know what to say. He had sent her a few messages over the past few days, and she had replied politely – but he got the impression that she was drawing back from him.
Devlin was safely ensconced in The Elms. His mom a
nd dad had flipped, as predicted, but he had managed to talk them out of flying over. He didn’t think that would help Devlin right now, and grudgingly his parents had agreed to wait and see how his rehabilitation panned out. With Devlin safe, and just a few days until he was leaving for the first race of season, Asher thought he should be feeling pretty psyched. This was where he had always wanted to be, after all. But he just felt a bit flat, and he couldn’t shake it.
He shouldn’t have let Ava get involved in all the shit with Devlin. He knew that her help had been invaluable, but it had seemed to sound the death knell for their…whatever it was. He wanted to say relationship, but he remembered her words at the charity benefit, and the look on her face when she had spoken about him being a sports star. She had been pretty clear that’s not what she was after. Hell, that hadn’t been what he was after either. Well, he thought it hadn’t – now he wasn’t so sure.
He missed her, and not just her amazing body and the passionate sex. He missed listening to her talk, missed lying in bed with her. He even missed her stupid pyjamas she wore. Get a grip, Asher.
His phone buzzed and he was amazed to see Ava’s name flash up on the screen.
‘Hello?’
‘They got married,’ he heard her shriek down the phone, and he moved it away from his ear.
‘What? Who? What are you talking about?’
‘Elise and your stupid racing driver friend.’
Asher blinked.
‘They got what?’
‘Married, you dumbass, married.’ Ava sounded slightly hysterical. Asher shook his head. It didn’t surprise him – Felipe wasn’t like normal people.
‘Oh,’ he said, simply.
‘Oh? Is that all you can say? My best friend has married someone she has known for three weeks, and all you can say is “oh?”’
Asher didn’t really know what he was meant to say.
‘Are you at home?’ Ava snapped.
‘Yeah, why?’
‘I’m coming over,’ she said. ‘I’m absolutely furious.’
And then she hung up.
Oh boy, Asher thought. Nice one, Felipe, now he was about to get torn a new asshole. But at least Ava was talking to him – and she was about to come over. He doubted sex was on the agenda, but he had the slightly pathetic realisation that even being yelled at by Ava would be preferable to never seeing her again.