by KT Shears
Ava stared at him.
‘Am I supposed to believe that person is me?’
Shay nodded.
‘It’s you, babe. It’s always been you, Ava.’
‘Seriously?’ Ava shook her head. ‘Are you seriously quoting from Friends right now?’
Shay looked puzzled.
‘What? No, I-’
‘Ava?’
Ava felt a jolt in her stomach as she looked up. Asher was standing in the doorway. Crap, hadn’t she shut the door properly? He was looking from her to Shay, looking confused and uncertain. This was a mess.
***
Asher was totally bewildered. Who was the guy on the sofa sitting with Ava? Why did she look so angry? What was going on here?
‘Are you okay?’ he asked, taking a step towards where she sat.
‘I’m fine.’ She stood up, crossing over to him. He bent to kiss her but she moved slightly so all he got was her cheek.
‘I’m Asher,’ he said, crossing to where the man on the sofa sat.
‘I’m Shay, Shay Donnelly,’ the guy said, surveying him. ‘Asher Carter, right?’
Asher felt the rage inside him bubbling and churning. This was the prick that cheated on Ava. What the fuck was he doing there?
‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘That’s me.’
Shay turned to Ava, laughing.
‘Seriously, babe? A racing driver? You could at least have gone for someone involved in a proper sport.’
‘Hey, man.’ Asher said, his voice low and gravelly. ‘You watch your fucking mouth around me, and her, alright?’
Shay stood up then. He was tall, taller than Asher – and he was six foot two. This guy must have been about six five. Asher didn’t care though – he would happily punch this guy in the face.
‘Guys, please.’ Ava came hurrying over to stand beside Asher. ‘Shay was just leaving.’
‘Are you serious?’ Shay looked incredulous. ‘You’re choosing this idiot over me?’
‘I’m not choosing anyone!’ she shrieked, her voice loud and shrill. ‘I don’t know what the hell is going on.’
‘Me neither,’ said Asher, truthfully. He looked back at Shay. ‘What the fuck are you doing here, you prick?’
‘What did you call me?’ Shay moved closer to Asher, his face reddening.
‘I called you a fucking prick, cos that’s what you are. Now get the fuck out of here before I make you.’
Asher only just managed to dodge the punch that swung his way. He heard Ava scream as he ducked underneath Shay’s flailing arm. In a quick move, he grabbed the arm and twisted it, Shay crying out in pain. With his free hand, Asher punched him straight in the face. He felt the satisfying sound of a nose being broken.
‘Stop it!’ Ava was screaming now, and Asher let go of his hold on Shay. The big guy wiped his bleeding nose with his sleeve, and looked about to aim another punch when Ava stepped in between the two of them.
‘This is insane,’ she said, pleadingly. ‘Please, stop. Please.’
There was a tense moment, and Asher was ready to duck again at any moment. But after a few seconds, Shay nodded.
‘Get out.’ Ava pointed to the door. Asher felt smug that Shay was being asked to leave.
‘What?’ Shay looked annoyed. ‘I get punched in the face and now you’re asking me to leave.’
‘Both of you!’ Ava shrieked. ‘Both of you, get out.’
Asher was confused. Why was he being asked to leave? He hadn’t done anything wrong, had he?
‘Ava, what-’ he began, but she shook her head.
‘Please leave. Both of you. Now.’
Asher was furious, and without another word, he stormed from the apartment.
***
‘He hit him?’ Elise’s voice was incredulous, and she sounded just a little as if she was in awe.
‘In the face,’ Ava said, sniffling down the phone. ‘It was awful, Els. I was so scared they were going to have a proper fight and one of them would get hurt.’
‘Do you want me to come over?’
‘No it’s okay.’
‘Is Asher still there?’
Ava felt tears in her eyes welling up again.
‘No I asked him to leave,’ she whispered.
‘You did what?’ Elise said, her voice full of shock. Ava could hear Felipe calling in the background to ask what had happened.
‘I can’t deal with this, Els,’ Ava said, crying softly. ‘I thought I was ready and that Asher could be in my life, but he can’t. I’m not ready, and I can’t be in his kind of world, or Shay’s kind of world. I’m not cut out for it.’
‘But, honey – Asher really likes you, and he treats you so well. You can’t let Shay ruin your life for a second time, it’s absurd.’
‘Don’t try to change my mind, Els. I love you and you’re my best friend, but I won’t be able to bear it if you don’t accept my decision.’
There was a long silence on the phone, and Ava wondered for a second if Elise had hung up.
‘Fine,’ she said, at last. ‘I won’t mention it again, but before I seal my lips, I want to say that I think you are making a huge mistake and that you will regret it. There, I’ve said my bit, and will now forever hold my peace.’
After they hung up, Ava sat curled up on the sofa, her hands wrapped round a mug of hot, sweet tea. She kept replaying the moment in her mind where she opened her door and saw Shay standing there. The whole thing seemed so surreal, and she almost felt like she had imagined it. But then she remembered Asher’s face when she asked him to leave, and knew it was real.
She took a sip of her tea, the hot liquid providing a small crumb of comfort. She still felt wretched, though, and she only had herself to blame. She should have listened to the little voice inside her head when she had first met Asher – the little voice that said she shouldn’t go down that road again. Sure, he hadn’t cheated on her…yet. But seeing Shay had brought back that pain, and the thought of being with Asher while he was off round the world, no doubt with women battering down his hotel room door…she couldn’t bear it. She couldn’t bear to be like Devlin’s wife – sat at home, alone.
Her phone beeped and she looked down, a little sob escaping her lips when she saw Asher’s name appear on the screen. She wanted to delete the message without reading it – it was too hard – but she opened the text message and read.
‘I don’t understand. What did I do?’
A tear fell onto the phone screen as she typed a reply.
‘I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore. Please don’t contact me, it just makes it harder.’
Her finger hovered over the send button. For a moment, she wanted to delete the whole message and call him, begging him to come over and hold her. But she couldn’t. She pressed send, and then wept, bitterly.
***
‘I just don’t fucking get it, man,’ Asher said bitterly, as he sat in Felipe and Elise’s living room, a cold beer in his hands. ‘What did I do?’
Felipe shook his head.
‘I don’t think you do anything, man. You know she had issues.’
Asher sighed, miserably. Yeah he knew she had issues, but he thought she’d been getting over them. They’d been having fun the last few weeks. And now suddenly it was all over and she never wanted to hear from him again?
‘I thought we were getting somewhere, man,’ he said, taking a swig from his bottle. Felipe patted him on the shoulder, awkwardly.
‘It’s fine man. You busy with racing anyway, yes? Germany in two weeks and then Monaco, man! We’ll find you a woman to make you forget.’
Asher smiled and nodded, but the thought of being with another woman wasn’t appealing at all. He didn’t want another woman – he wanted her.
‘Come on,’ Felipe said, suddenly standing out. ‘Let’s go out, yes?’
‘Won’t Elise mind?’
‘Won’t Elise mind what?’ she said, coming into the room and looking at them suspiciously. Felipe leapt to his feet and went over to her,
putting his arms around here.
‘I going to take Asher to bar for a drink,’ he said, then added hurriedly, ‘if that ok, of course.’
Elise smiled at Asher, and he could see sympathy etched all over her face. He looked away, feeling embarrassed, like he was some sort of sad case who should be at home listening to country music and shovelling ice cream in his mouth.
‘Sure,’ Elise said, giving Felipe a kiss on his cheek. ‘Just don’t be too late, okay?’
‘Never!’ Felipe said, with such certainty and authority, Asher couldn’t help but smile as Elise rolled her eyes at him and left the room.
Chapter seventeen
It had been two weeks since Ava had seen or heard from Asher. She knew she’d told him not to contact her – but a small part of her was upset that he hadn’t even tried. Why should he, though? She had been pretty clear with him.
Shay had gone back to New York. He had turned up again the next day, and this time she had refused to let him in. She had told him in no uncertain terms that they were over, forever, and to get on with his life like she was trying to get on with hers. That should have made her feel good, she thought, but in reality, it hadn’t made any difference.
She felt like she was just going through the motions of life. She went to work, she went to the store to buy food, she watched TV in the evenings. She was existing – but it didn’t feel like life. Not like the life she had been having with Asher. But she had to find a way to get back to being herself, surely. She couldn’t go on like this.
She was playing with her phone when it suddenly started ringing, making her jump. For a second, her heart leapt – but then she looked down and saw an unfamiliar number. Probably work, she thought, as she answered the phone. When she heard the voice, her heart started racing. It was him. But after a second, she realised that it wasn’t him. His voice was similar, but not the same.
‘Devlin?’ She was surprised. She hadn’t imagined ever seeing or hearing from Devlin again, even before she and Asher had…broken up? No, they were never together to properly break up.
‘Yo, is this a bad time? You’re not in bed with my brother are you?’ Devlin laughed and Ava’s heart ached.
‘No it’s fine, how are you?’
‘I’m good. Sorry for calling you, I got your number from your office – I said I wanted to hire you.’’
‘And do you?’
Devlin laughed again.
‘No,’ he said. ‘But I did want to let you know that I finished my stint in rehab. I’m now a free man.’
‘That’s great, Devlin,’ Ava said, and she really meant it.
‘Anyway I won’t keep you. I just wanted to say…’ There was a pause, and Ava sensed whatever he was about to say was a struggle. ‘Thank you for all that you did.’
Before Ava could stumble over a reply, he had hung up. Well, that had been unexpected.
The doorbell rang and she heaved herself to her feet. Elise was coming over to watch the Germany Grand Prix. It was the last thing Ava wanted to do, but she knew Elise hated to watch alone, just in case something happened to Felipe, and in the interests of being a good best friend, she had agreed. She planned to just sit there and gorge herself on crisps and chocolate, hopefully entering a sugar coma by the time the race began.
‘You look awful,’ Elise said cheerfully as she entered the apartment.
‘Gee, thanks.’ Ava laughed, shaking her head. ‘With friends like you, who needs enemies?’
They settled down on the sofa and Ava switched on the TV. Elise grabbed the remote from her hand and mashed the keys until the screen went blank again, but Ava had seen the flash of Asher’s face as he spoke to the camera.
‘Are you ok? Elise said, anxiously.
‘I’m fine.’ Ava wanted nothing more than to crawl beneath her duvet and sleep for a week. ‘Don’t be silly – put it back on or you’ll miss the start.’
Elise fumbled with the remote control and the TV flickered back to life. Ava was relieved to see that Asher had disappeared – although part of her really wanted to see his face again, and hear his voice.
They sat through the race pre-amble and interviews, Elise chattering away about what she and Felipe had planned for mid-season break, and Ava trying her best to sound interested. She was secretly glad when the cars lined up on the grid for the start of the race and Elise stopped talking, glued to the screen.
***
It was lap 45, and Asher was sitting in 12th place. It had been a slog of a race so far, the rain starting around lap 10 and continuing relentlessly. All the cars had their full wet tyres on, but even with those, Asher had to concentrate all his energy into controlling the car. Even on the straights, he could feel the car pulling under him, desperate to slide off the track. Visibility was dreadful – rain slammed off his visor and he could barely see a few yards in front of him. At least he knew this track like the back of his hand, but he had to admit, he wasn’t really enjoying himself right now.
‘What are conditions like out there?’ His race engineer’s voice came over the radio.
‘Bad. I don’t think we should be out in this.’ Asher was no wimp, but this had the potential to be dangerous. He had already passed two cars that had slid off the road. Luckily, both drivers had been standing by their cars when he had driven past, so he knew they were okay. Still, though, it was dangerous.
‘Roger that, Ash. I’ll let race control know.’
Asher thought his opinion probably wouldn’t matter much to race control, as he was hardly one of the big boys. He knew Erik Jonasson was in first place – would he risk getting the race red flagged and possibly losing his position if they decided to re-start later? But he knew Erik was a sensible guy – he wouldn’t be enjoying this either.
Suddenly, he noticed the stewards frantically waving yellow flags ahead of him. He slowed slightly, prepared to dodge debris on the track. Someone must have gone off again. Surely they would stop the race now? As he carefully turned into the next corner, he saw a car, smoke pouring out of it, wedged into the barriers at the side. He squinted through the rain. Was that Ben Daily’s car? It looked bad, and Asher felt worried. He could see Ben’s helmet in the cockpit still. Why hadn’t he got out of the car?
‘What’s going on with Daily?’ he asked over the radio, as he carried on past the scene of the accident.
‘We don’t know, Ash.’
Asher grimly carried on, but after another minute or so, he noticed the stewards were now waving red flags.
‘Get back to the pits.’ His race engineer sounded a bit shaken.
‘What’s up? Is it the rain?’ Asher steered his car around a corner. He was near the pit lane, and he moved his car over to the entrance. In front of him, he could see Felipe doing the same.
‘The Daily accident is a bad one. Come in now.’
***
Ava and Elise sat on the sofa, transfixed with horror at the scenes unfolding on the television. They had both let out a cry as Ben Daily’s car had skidded off the track, hurtling towards the barrier. The impact had made them jump, and they had both sat, in silence, waiting for him to get out of the car. Ava had never even seen Ben Daily, but at that moment, every fibre of her being was willing him to stand up and step out of the car. She wanted to see him do what they all did: stand and look at the car, hands on hips, head shaking, frustrated at their race being cut short. But the driver wasn’t moving. His head looked like it was lolling to one side.
As she watched, the commentators’ voices uncertain as they realised Daily wasn’t moving, she saw Asher’s car drive round the corner and pass. She felt a brief flash of relief, so much relief, that it wasn’t him involved. Then felt guilty for even thinking something so selfish.
‘God, Ava. This looks really bad.’ Elise looked white, and her eyes looked teary. ‘We had dinner with Ben and his wife, Jenna, last week.’
Ava didn’t know what to say, and they resumed watching in silence as an ambulance came screaming along the now-empty tr
ack. Some sort of first responder had already reached the scene, and was bent over the still body in the car, but now three more paramedics rushed across. She watched as they unravelled equipment, one of them waving at the stewards and pointing to the mangled remains of the car. She guessed that meant they needed some sort of equipment to gain access.
To her horror, she thought she saw one of the paramedics who had been bending over the driver straighten and shake his head slightly to his colleagues. Another vehicle pulled up – this time a silver Mercedes. From inside, a guy who the commentators confirmed was the track doctor, leapt out and rushed across. He then bent over the body inside.
At that moment, the camera panned away, the commentators talking about distressing scenes, and how everyone’s thoughts and hopes were with Ben Daily.
Ava and Elise sat, utterly silent. What could you say at a time like this?
***
Asher climbed out of his car. He was soaked through, and it was a relief to get his helmet off and be able to see again properly. Felipe was standing talking in a low voice to his race engineer, and Asher cast around for Jim. He spotted him standing over by the bank of computers that monitored every little thing about the cars, and he headed over. He was shocked by how pale Jim looked – he was usually quite a ruddy, cheerful-looking man, but now he looked positively grey.
‘What’s going on, Jim?’ Asher’s voice seemed to jerk him out of some sort of deep reflection.
‘Oh, Asher. You’re okay, thank God.’ He sighed, wearily. ‘It’s Ben Daily. It’s not looking good.’
‘What do you mean?’ Asher was confused. He would be alright, surely? Formula One cars were very safe these days, it had been a good few years since anyone had been really badly injured.
‘I don’t know yet,’ Jim said, ‘but he’s still in the car and no one has seen him move.’
Asher sat down on one of the stools in front of the computers.
‘They should have called the race, Jim. It was fucking lethal out there.’
Jim nodded, looking glum.
‘I know,’ he said. ‘Erik Jonasson told them the same just seconds before the accident.’