by Debby Giusti
She had made so many.
Why had she left Kayla with a woman she didn’t even know? In hindsight, she should have taken Kayla with them to look for William. Then she thought about grabbing William in the fast food restaurant and running from Pablo and Mateo, and the unfriendly clerk at the hotel. Kayla would have gotten too tired and too frightened, plus she would have slowed them down.
No, Julia had been right to leave Kayla. But where was her daughter now?
Oh, Lord, please. I feel overwhelmed by what has happened and so very fearful. I am trying to trust, which is what I believe You want me to do, but I’m shaking inside.
If anything happened to Kayla...
She looked at Abraham. He had lost his four-year-old daughter and his wife. How had he survived all that pain?
She didn’t want to be strong like he had been. She wanted to burst into tears and rail at God for putting her child in danger, although she only had herself to blame.
A hole formed in her heart and the pain of what might have happened was so powerful, she could hardly breathe.
Abraham wrapped his arm about her shoulders.
“Hurry, Randy. Take us to my farm. Sarah was not at her house. I am hopeful she left a message on my door.”
Randy must have heard the fear in Abraham’s voice. He turned sharply out of Sarah’s property and accelerated. At this time of night, they were the only car on the country road. Darkness surrounded them, as dark as Julia’s heart that was ready to break.
“Do not think of what might have happened until we have more information,” Abraham said, his voice filled with compassion.
He must have known what she was thinking and that made Julia even more afraid. She could not answer him for fear her voice would turn into a scream from her heart.
The farm appeared. Randy turned the car into the drive and pulled to a stop in front of Abraham’s house.
Abraham jumped out, ran up the stairs and unlocked the door. He lit an oil lamp and returned to look for a note left by the door.
Then he glanced at the taxi, his face fearful and illuminated by the flickering light. There was no note and no information about Kayla or where Sarah had taken her.
Julia climbed from the car, tears streaming from her eyes. Her life as she knew it was about to change forever and she couldn’t go on.
“Oh, Abraham.” She fell into his arms and sobbed.
“Kayla is all right,” he assured her.
“I don’t believe you.” She gasped. “Where’s my baby girl?”
Abraham rubbed her shoulders. “We will find her.”
“First William and now Kayla. When will it end?”
“Julia.”
Hearing her name, she turned to find Sarah running toward them from the dawdy house.
“Where’s Kayla?”
“Asleep in her room,” Sarah said as she neared. “She was upset you were not home. Some of my relatives stayed at Abraham’s spare house when my husband died. I still have the key, so we came here to bring comfort to Kayla. My daughter, Ella, is asleep in the bed with her. I stayed downstairs, hoping to hear you return.”
Julia ran past Sarah to the porch of the dawdy house. She pushed open the kitchen door and took the stairs two at a time. Opening the bedroom door, she gasped with relief when she saw Kayla sleeping peacefully in her own bed. Julia dropped to her knees, tears of relief falling from her eyes. She brushed the hair off her daughter’s face and kissed her cheek. Sarah’s daughter was sleeping next to her, both girls oblivious to the fear and terrible thoughts that had rumbled through Julia’s mind.
She stumbled into the hallway so her sobs of relief wouldn’t wake the girls. Suddenly Abraham was there again, pulling her into his arms, the smell of him so masculine and strong. She never wanted to leave him.
Kayla had not been hurt or captured or harmed in any way. William was asleep in the taxi downstairs. The two Philadores were still in Kansas City, or perhaps they were already on their way back to Philadelphia. Her ex-husband was behind bars where he couldn’t hurt them and she wasn’t alone. She had a wonderful man who was strong and honest and understanding, who didn’t laugh at her for getting upset or for fearing the worst. A man who had lost everything he had ever loved, but who still was able to open his heart to her.
“I’m sorry I got so carried away. I...I thought...”
“I know, Julia. You have had so much happen recently and you have been so strong. But everything is going to be okay. I will not let anything happened to you or to the children.”
She could hear his heart beat as he held her tight, her head on his chest. Her sobs subsided, and her thoughts turned from her children, who she knew were safe, to Abraham, the man who was very much present with her now.
He pulled back ever so slightly and stared down at her. Everything stopped for one long moment, even her heart that had pounded so hard just moments earlier. The whole world seemed to be on pause as she looked into his eyes. His lips twitched, as if he didn’t know whether or not he should draw her closer. All she wanted was for him to lower his lips to hers. Although she didn’t know if she could survive if he did.
“Julia.” He whispered her name, yet so much more was contained in that one word than she had ever heard from anyone.
She stretched toward him, wanting nothing to keep them apart. All she wanted was for his mouth to touch hers.
Her heart pounded in anticipation. She reached her hands around his neck and buried her fingers in his hair as his lips slowly descended to—
“Abraham?”
Sarah was on the stairs, calling up to them.
He pulled back, startled.
Julia’s heart stopped, this time with regret.
She backed away, unable to speak, feeling drained and tired. Her mind swirled with confusion wondering how she had gone from tears of fear to a yearning to remain in this man’s arms forever.
“I need to bring William inside.” She pushed past Abraham and hurried down the stairs, her hand gripping the railing lest she lose her balance. She felt weak and confused.
“Is everything all right?” Sarah asked as Julia hurried toward the kitchen door.
“Yes. Thank you for caring for Kayla. She’s sound asleep. I need to bring William inside.”
“I am sorry to have frightened you when you found no one home at my house,” Sarah said, following her.
Julia turned and took the woman’s hand. “You have been so gracious, and I am grateful. But today has been long and troubling. That everything turned out all right brings me comfort. Your friendship and help does, as well, Sarah. Please let me know how I can repay you for your kindness.”
The Amish woman smiled. “No payment is needed. You would help me in the same way if I had a need.”
Julia nodded. “That’s true.”
Abraham came down the stairs. “I must pay Randy.” He looked at Sarah. “Would you like to stay the night here?”
She shook her head. “Ella and I should get home. Would you hitch my horse to the buggy?”
“Of course, it is not a problem. I will ask Randy to follow your buggy to ensure you and Ella arrive home safely.”
Julia helped her sleepy son from the car and guided him upstairs to bed. By the time she left his room, Sarah’s horse and buggy were waiting in the driveway. Her daughter slipped easily from bed and smiled sweetly as she and her mother left the dawdy house to return home.
Once they had driven off, followed by the Amish taxi, Abraham stepped back into the kitchen. He looked expectantly at Julia, as if he wanted to take her in his arms again, but the moment had passed and she had returned to her senses.
She was grateful to Abraham, and he was a man who made her think of being open to love again, although that still seemed almost impossible. She would never be able to trust anyone with her heart, even an Amish ma
n who had saved her son.
The realization that she would go through life alone brought a sense of sorrow again.
But she had her children. What more could she want?
As Abraham left the house and she closed and locked the door behind him, Julia realized that she did want something more. She wanted someone like Abraham to be a part of her life.
But that could never be, and that thought brought tears to her eyes as she climbed the stairs and slipped into her bedroom.
Tomorrow would be a new day. Everything would look brighter in the sunlight. She would be rid of foolish thoughts about love and happiness, things she wanted but would never have.
FOURTEEN
Abraham headed to the barn early the next morning to catch up on the chores that had not been done while he was gone. He had moved the horses to the pasture so they could graze and get water from the pond and they had fared well, but a farm took work, as he had told Julia the first morning she was here, and there was much to do.
He tried to focus on his labor, but he kept thinking of when she had been in his arms and the way she had felt so soft and warm and inviting. More than anything he had wanted to kiss her. Then Sarah had called out to them.
Too quickly, Julia had pulled free from his embrace, which left him feeling empty and flummoxed by all that had happened. Today he would behave more appropriately and stay more aloof. Clearly that was what Julia wanted, judging by the way she had rushed away from him.
He stopped for a minute and peered out the open door of the barn toward the house where she and her children slept. He would not wake them for breakfast this morning. They needed to sleep.
Just as long as Julia did not hole up inside the house and ignore him. He could not endure that, yet that might occur and if so, he would handle it as best he could.
The day was overcast and fit his mood. He should be giving thanks for their success in finding William and bringing him back home. Abraham was grateful, and he knew too well how things could have turned out, especially with two opposing gangs up in arms.
He had filled the troughs with water and mangers with feed, spread hay for the cattle and mended a broken patch of fencing before anyone stirred in the dawdy house.
A door slammed and he turned to see William dressed in Amish clothing heading toward him. The boy still looked tired, but he nodded a greeting and reached for a shovel that rested against the side of the barn.
“I’ll muck out the stalls,” the boy stated without preamble.
“How are you today, William?”
The boy shrugged. “I am glad to be here.”
“Your clothes look good on you. Was it a problem to dress?”
“Mamm helped me hook the suspenders.”
Mamm? He had used the Pennsylvania Dutch term for mother.
“Your mother is up?” Abraham asked, hoping the feelings he had for Julia were not evident in his tone.
“She is making breakfast. Kayla is helping her. She said she will ring the dinner bell when the food is ready.”
“You are hungry, I am sure.”
The boy smiled. “I am very hungry, but we will work first and then eat.”
Abraham nodded, grateful to hear a new energy in William’s voice. Much had happened to him on his trip to Kansas City, probably more than the boy realized. He had left Yoder in the middle of the night as a youth yearning to join a gang of street thugs, and in less than twenty-four hours he had turned into a level-headed young man. It was almost too much to believe could be true.
“Danke, Gott,” Abraham said under his breath.
Within the hour, the door of the dawdy house opened and Kayla rang the dinner bell.
“Your mother has timed breakfast perfectly,” he told William. “We have finished the morning chores. After we eat, we will check on Mr. Raber’s animals.”
“And the phone to see if any calls have come through?”
“We will certainly do that.” Abraham pointed to the corner of the barn. “Leave the shovel. We must wash up at the pump and then enjoy the food your mother has prepared.”
The water from the pump was cold. Abraham handed William the bar of soap and watched with approval as the boy rolled up his sleeves and scrubbed his arms up to his elbows in the chilly water to ensure the muck from the barn did not come with them to the dining table. Once they had washed, they dried their hands and arms on the towel that hung near the pump and headed to the house. Abraham wiped his boots on the rug by the door and smiled when William did the same.
Opening the door, Abraham was pleasantly accosted by the hearty smell of coffee, and bacon and eggs, and biscuits, hot from the oven. He stepped inside and searched for Julia, but the kitchen was empty.
“Mamm?” William called.
She came running down the stairs, looking bright-eyed and beautiful. Abraham’s breath hitched, and he was taken aback by the flush in her cheeks and the twinkle in her eyes. She had pulled her hair into a bun at the base of her neck and had settled the kapp on her head, the strings hanging loose at her neck along with a long strand of hair that had either pulled free or had escaped capture when she first fixed her hair.
She straightened her apron and smiled in welcome. “You are hungry, I’m sure.”
Abraham nodded. “The kitchen is filled with wonderful smells. You have been working hard to provide a hearty breakfast, for which I am grateful, Julia.”
“It is the least I can do after what you have done for us, Abraham. Sit at the table and I will pour coffee and then fix the plates.”
She brought a filled mug to the table. Her coffee tasted far better than the bitter brew he sometimes made. “Good coffee,” he said with gratitude.
“I’m still not used to boiling water and pouring it over the grounds in the drip coffee pot. I tried to keep it hot on the back burner but fear the heat was too high. I am glad it meets your approval.”
Kayla raced downstairs and ran to Abraham with her arms open wide. He had not expected her exuberant hello or the warm hugs she gave him. “You were gone so long,” the child said. “I was worried.”
“But you were okay staying with Sarah and her daughter.”
“Yes, but I wanted to be here at your house so I could see you as soon as you returned. That’s why Miss Sarah brought me here to sleep last night. When I woke this morning, I saw Mamm smiling down at me.”
Kayla’s statement that she had wanted to be at his house touched Abraham, as well as her waking to find Julia.
Noting her empty arms, Abraham asked, “Where is your doll?”
“Ella said Amish girls don’t play with dolls because they are busy helping their mothers with their own sisters and brothers.”
“That does not mean you cannot play with your doll.”
“Annie is resting. She didn’t sleep well last night.”
“You are still calling her Annie?” he asked.
“Yah.”
He smiled as she used the Amish word for yes.
“Yah,” Kayla repeated. “Annie is her name. We have all changed and you said you would call her Annie, so I will, too. It is a gut name, yah?”
“For sure, Kayla.” He chuckled. “It is a gut name.”
“Ella said that Amish girls my age cook and do housework.”
He winked. “They also find time to play. You have years to work. Plus, now you must do your studies.”
“Kayla, you are full of energy this morning,” Julia called from the stove. “Come and take this plate to Abraham.”
The plate was heaped high with food, and Kayla set it on the table in front of him.
William slipped onto the bench after he poured milk for Kayla and himself.
“Danke,” he said when Kayla brought his plate to the table.
She took her own plate from her mother and sat next to her brother.
&n
bsp; Julia checked the stove and then stepped to the table. Abraham stood and helped her with her chair.
William stood, too.
Kayla smiled. “William, tomorrow you can help me with my chair.”
The boy laughed and then returned to the bench.
“The food looks delicious. Let us give thanks.” Abraham bowed his head, but before he could offer a silent prayer, Kayla nudged him. “Why don’t you pray out loud and then we can all pray together.”
He glanced at Julia, who looked expectantly back at him.
Kayla wrinkled her brow. “Miss Sarah said praying out loud is not the Amish way, but maybe just this once we could, please, Abraham?”
“That would be nice, Kayla.” He held out his hand to the child. She took his and William’s. The boy reached for one of Julia’s hands, and Abraham held the other.
Warm contentment swept over him as he bowed his head. “Thank you, Gott, for bringing us together and for keeping us safe. We give You thanks for this food and for all who worked to provide this meal. May it nourish us so we can do the work You have called us to do. Amen.”
The others intoned amen and without taking a breath, the children reached for their forks and started eating.
Abraham smiled at Julia. “Thank you for preparing such a delicious breakfast for us, Julia.”
“You’re most welcome, Abraham. Thank you for providing this nice house in which to stay.”
“I hope we stay here forever,” Kayla said as she swallowed a forkful of egg and then reached for her glass of milk.
“Abraham does not need us underfoot that long, Kayla,” Julia said.
Her words brought Abraham back to the reality of their situation. Just as Julia mentioned, she and the children would eventually move on to another location and another identity once the danger eased. He doubted Jonathan wanted them to stay here indefinitely. Still, it was something he might mention to his friend.
“I need to call Jonathan and check on a few things with him. William and I will tend to the farm across the way and then we can all go to town so I can make the phone call. We will also stop at the grocery for supplies.”