by M. Malone
It was only at Lucia’s house that she’d felt accepted.
“You always were the only person who really ‘got’ me.”
Lucia glanced at her from the corner of her eye. “But not anymore. Because of Jonas?”
After a brief pause, JJ admitted in a soft voice, “Yeah. Because of Jonas.” It felt like a risk even saying it aloud, as if stating it would tempt fate to take it away.
“But now I wonder if being so isolated has caused some of this. Maybe if I’d trusted you more, I would have told you about David before this. Stupid pride might have put Izzy in danger. Because if I’d talked about all this earlier, the guys would have known about David and would have been prepared when he walked in. If they’d known what he was capable of, they never would have let this happen.”
Lucia patted her leg. “You can’t blame yourself. It probably wouldn’t have even mattered. David or Chamaeleon or whatever his name is, knows how to hide. He’s ORUS. These guys are trained in how to hide.”
Curious, JJ narrowed her eyes. “How do you know all that?”
“Noah probably wasn’t supposed to tell me any of that but it’s lonely for them, having no one to confide in. But that’s part of how ORUS turns them into weapons. They strip them of everything that makes them human. Relationships, friendships, ability to show emotion. These guys are trained to become a blank slate that the government or whoever can use as weapons. When they’re in, no one knows who they really are or anything about them. It’s like they don’t exist.”
JJ thought back to all those nights when David had talked to her. He hadn’t behaved anything like Lucia described. In fact, she’d gotten the sense that he was hungry to tell her about himself. It wasn’t unusual for him to describe his childhood, his friends and the things he wanted for the future, right down to the furniture he planned to build for the dream home he wanted to buy for her.
She sat up suddenly. “It’s like they don’t exist? But he existed with me. He loved to talk to me.”
Lucia looked thoughtful. “For someone like him, with no family or friends, I could see how appealing it would be to have someone to confide in. Maybe he thought it was safe because you were so young and had no idea who he really was?”
The more JJ thought about it, the more it made sense. David definitely hadn’t been holding back with her. Even though she’d been young, even at the time she’d been aware that his obsession with her wasn’t natural. His happiness had seemed to hinge on impressing her and having her see him as the best and the strongest. Nothing could enrage him faster than any hint she might prefer someone else.
Especially Rafe.
“I think he really was telling me the truth about himself. Stuff that he never thought anyone would find out about, which means he’s not as hidden as he thinks. Because we already have everything we need to find him.”
JJ turned to Lucia with a triumphant smile. “Me.”
chapter 11
If that stupid asshole didn’t wipe that smirk off his face, Jonas was going to wipe it off for him.
Several seats away, Rafe lounged back in one of the conference chairs mirroring Jonas's stance. They glared at each other over Ryan, Dylan, and Noah. Matthias sat closer to the window in front of the monitors. Jonas was pretty sure Noah had arranged the seating this way on purpose so that the two of them couldn't go at it again.
A part of him knew he was being irrational. Any kind of feelings JJ might have had for Rafe were over. Done. Finito. She was in love with Jonas. And he was in love with her.
Still, the idea that she’d ever wanted that muscle bound asshole at any point in her life made Jonas's skin itch. It made him twitchy as fuck and infused him with the desire to hit something. Namely that jackass’s face. That sensation wasn’t eased any by the smug grin Rafe flashed every time he looked at him. Jonas could practically hear the asshole taunting him. Oh yeah, she wanted all of this.
Let it go. It's not important.
The real enemy was out there. The asshole who'd actually tried to hurt JJ. But that was all easier said than done. The whole situation made him want to leave the conference room, drag JJ back to her bedroom, and make her scream his name again, over and over and over.
That can be arranged. And it could be. But then his insecurity would be showing. And he was not going to be insecure about that asshole.
Yeah, he was still smarting from the fight a little over a year ago. The one where Rafe had almost blinded him, and nearly killed both Matthias and Oskar. They'd all lived to tell the tale, and now Rafe was part of the fold. All one big happy family. Except they weren't. Well sort of. But Rafe was still an outlier, and Jonas didn’t trust him.
Yeah, you do. Because when it comes to his sister, the guy would give his life. Almost did. The real question was if that courtesy extended to the rest of them. Rafe had been more than willing to kill them a year ago.
Jonas forced himself to roll his shoulders and relax. Rafe caught the movement and his brow lifted as a smile teased his lips.
In response, Jonas's hands curled into fists.
Noah slanted the two of them a glance. "Are you two fucking focused? Rafe, sit the fuck up. And Jonas, either quit pouting or go get your girlfriend and go screw her somewhere other than here. You guys work out your shit on your own time then come back when you feel more up to it."
Fuck. Had Noah just scolded his ass? Didn’t you deserve it? Shit, deserved or not, he didn't fucking like it. But Noah had a point. Rafe might be a supreme asshole but they had bigger fish to fry, and he was letting his personal shit get in the way of things. "I'll take you up on that later. Right now we have work."
"I'm glad you agree with me." Noah rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the team. "Okay, so like I was saying, from the information that Ian gave us, these are his likely locations. Personally I like this one. It's a mission he’s most likely to accept. Lots of exits. Never locked in. As far as we know, as far as Ian has told us, he hasn't checked in. I think —" the conference room doors opened, and all the men lifted their heads to find JJ and Lucia strolling in.
Jonas's gaze pinned to his woman immediately, his eyes raking over her, and he couldn't help but think about everything he'd done to her last night. All the ways he'd made her scream. All the ways he'd made her scream his name. She's yours. Just get over it already. He needed to, but the shit was eating at him. When her gaze met his, all her skin turned pink. And it made him want to smile. Yes, she maybe was a little embarrassed, but she hadn't been worried about a damn thing last night. Maybe he'd take Noah up on the idea of taking her to a hotel. She could scream all she wanted there without any embarrassment whatsoever.
He shook his head to clear his mind, and the image of her spread out over a hotel bed with his mouth planted on her pussy took over. Because now is not the time. And he was going to have a helluva time explaining to the guys why the hell he wouldn't be able to stand up after this damn meeting.
Noah frowned. "JJ? Sweetheart? What are you two doing here?"
JJ shifted on her feet when Lucia spoke. "JJ has something she thinks might help."
Jonas had never seen JJ shy, or quiet, or modest, or unsure of herself at all. That worried him. Yeah, she was vulnerable with him. But the fact she was displaying it now meant this had something to do with David… with Chamaeleon. And whatever it was, it was part and parcel of everything that had scared her in her life.
"So, Lucia and I were just trying to run through any information that I might have on him. Where he might go, anyone he might call. I think it's safe to say that anyone I might've met when we were together," she said, her gaze away from him when she said the word ‘together,’ "Was probably a front; fake names, business associates. I will never know who they really were. But the one thing he was really obsessed about was family. He kept talking about us, you know, getting married one day and having kids and moving to a split level home in Bliss, Connecticut. And not just like pie-in-the-sky, oh-one-day kind of dreams. I mean he
would pull up houses on real estate websites and pick out specific homes. I don't know, but maybe after all this time he would've finally found a house like that. So maybe if Matthias did a search on homes that were owned by someone with an identity that couldn't be traced back more than the last couple of years, maybe we could find him that way."
Noah nodded. "JJ, that's good. But while he might have bought a house in the last two years, all his activity suggests that he's been here in the city all this time. You're here. You're the object of his obsession. Yeah, he might have wanted to take you to a house or something then, but now it doesn't make sense. He doesn't have you. That idea of happy families and all that shit doesn't apply. You're with someone else."
Jonas grinned at that. And she flushed again. That's right. You're all mine.
"I... I know. I just mean when I say he's obsessed, I mean like really obsessed. He wanted everything he thought Rafe had. And I'm telling you, this means something. I can’t even believe I didn't think about it until now."
Matthias nodded. "It won't hurt to have a look. Could take a minute though."
She nodded. "Yeah. Okay. I just wanted to make sure I let you guys know."
He hated that sound in her voice. The one where she sounded so defeated. Luckily, she had Lucia in her corner.
"No, JJ. Don't move." Lucia pinned her gaze on Noah. "You guys aren't taking this seriously. JJ's brought you valuable intel. As obsessive as this guy was with her, with the idea of them moving off and living in our old neighborhood, Rafe, that's a big fucking deal. You guys need to take this seriously."
Both Rafe and Noah shifted uncomfortably.
Yeah, Lucia had that effect on the two of them. Funny thing was that take-no-prisoners look that JJ usually had them all by the balls with, Lucia was pretty damn good at it when she wanted something, too.
"Matthias, you're going to look into it now. Today. You guys can play, you know, secret government kill squad, all you want. But at the very least, look into this. It took JJ a lot of guts to walk in here."
JJ's gaze met his, and Jonas winked at her. She tucked her chin up and inhaled a deep breath. "Yeah, cool, when I was a teenager I had a crush on Rafe. No big deal. And caveman over here thought it would be a real good idea to brand me last night. Which you all heard, so fair enough. It’s not like this entire office hasn't seen Noah and Lucia going at it, which by the way, eww you guys. Seriously, keep it behind closed doors."
Noah just grinned and had a self-satisfied smile on his face.
JJ continued. "The sooner we all get past this, the better for everyone. Look, I know it's not the current plan, foregoing the Ian and kill squad idea, or whatever the fuck that is. But, it's worth looking into. And I'm not leaving the room without your word that you're going to look into it."
From the foot of the table, Matthias nodded. "I've already got a search running."
She nodded. "Well, in that case, I'm going, gentlemen."
Lucia paused giving each of them a stern face. "If a single one of you brings up yesterday to her, I'll kill you myself. And this one," she pointed at Noah, "Won't be able to save you." Then she stormed out after her friend.
Jonas wondered if that applied to him, too. But at this point, he knew better than to fuck with Lucia. All he wanted was Jessica back. The feisty version of her, who didn't take shit from anyone. He wanted to catch this asshole so that she could finally move on with her life and see that she had someone who loved her right in front of her. Someone she would never have to be afraid of.
When JJ and Lucia left the room, Jonas slid a glance over at Noah who shook his head. "Well then. Matthias make sure you get that information to everyone immediately if anything pops. In the meantime, we keep with our current plan. Find any hiding holes he's got. And that takes all men on this team. No matter our differences, right?"
Jonas might not like Rafe, and maybe one day they would eventually bury their hatchet, but for JJ, he would do anything. Anything to see that smile on her face again. So he nodded slowly. “You’ll get no problems and no arguments from me."
Noah nodded at him and turned his gaze to Rafe. "What about you, big brother? You gonna keep poking at my boy?"
Rafe tossed his hands up. "As long as he doesn't poke at me, we're good."
Jonas rolled his eyes. That was about as close to a truce as they were going to get. For now.
First, they had a chameleon to find.
“See, that’s the key. I told you there was nothing to be embarrassed about."
JJ stared at Lucia, her mouth open. "Are you kidding me right now? I mean, I'm not shy, but every single one of those guys pretty much heard Jonas um—"
Lucia grinned. "Staking his claim?" She offered helpfully.
"Yes. Staking his claim. It's humiliating."
Lucia put her hand on her head. "Humiliating how? You don't want anyone to know about you and Jonas?"
JJ wrinkled her nose. "Don't be ridiculous. I don't care who knows. I want to shout it from the rooftops."
"Okay, so you shouted it from your bed. What's the problem?”
"I don't know. It was more about how that whole thing unfolded. I mean, it's embarrassing, okay? This is me, love-em-and-leave-em JJ. I had a stupid crush, and made a bad decision about a man, and the next thing I know, everyone is all up in my business."
Lucia sighed. "Honey, you have been my best friend since we were kids and we met in Mr. Patterson's class. You think I don't know that you're mostly bravado and hard exterior with a soft, warm, gooey center? What's crazy is you thinking they don't know that about you."
JJ scowled. "I'm tough."
Her best friend shook her head. "No one is disputing that, honey. But most of us see that show for what it is, a suit you put on every day. One that keeps you protected. One that keeps you safe. And as your best friend, I personally like the suit. I think it's fun. And I know that you need it. You need it to protect the woman that you are. So it's fine. But guess what, we all love the woman inside. The one who's warm, and sweet. The one who buys Earl Grey tea for Matthias just to give him a taste of home. And you know he doesn't drink coffee. You’re the one who on her way home buys those German cakes for Oskar and leaves them on his desk. And you never ever say that it’s you, but we all know. It's like how you remember Noah's birthday and always try to get him something appropriate. You used to do that for Rafe too when we were kids, remember? You’d always get him some silly little gift. And you’ve always been there for me. You listened to me when my parents were gone, when Rafe was gone. You are always a rock, and you're always the one guaranteed to make me laugh. To let me see that there is a fun side to life. So, we all love you and we see the real you. We love the sass, we love the mouth. It’s part of the fun. But there's also the you underneath it all that we see and love. So you know what? No one cares about how you had a crush on Rafe. It’s not like we didn't know, I told you that already. Rafe knew. Noah knew. Everyone knew. So what if the rest of the guys know?"
JJ sighed. "It's just, ugh, I don't like being vulnerable."
Lucia grinned. "No one does, that's why it's called being vulnerable."
Her goddaughter took that opportunity to wake up from her nap and screeched the house down. Isabella was never a fan of waking up alone. "I guess the princess summons me. I'll be right back." Lucia ran to get the baby, who likely needed to be changed or fed, or a combination of both.
JJ went into the kitchen and pulled the fridge open, determined to go for the red velvet cake in the back that Noah had brought from Nonna’s. When she pulled out the cake, she almost jumped a mile and splattered cake all over her face when she found Rafe leaning against the doorway.
"’Sup, JJ?"
Her face went hot. And no doubt she was bright crimson at this point. Fantastic. "Hey Rafe. Want a slice?"
He shook his head. "But if you have a spare fork, I'll take a bite."
JJ pulled open the cutlery drawer and pulled out two forks. She handed one over to him, before digging he
r own into the cake and shoving a fat piece of delicious goodness into her mouth. Oh God. Yes. Sugar and icing were just the balm her bruised ego needed.
Rafe took a bite and actually moaned. "Jesus Christ. That's one thing I missed, you know? Nonna's cooking. And her baking. Pretty much everything actually."
JJ sighed. "You know, we never even talked about it, you and I. What it must have been like for you. I mean I’m the best friend, so I guess I've always been on the outside looking in at that whole situation."
Rafe shook his head. "We didn't see you that way. You were part of the family. Yeah, at the time sometimes I thought you were my sister's annoying best friend. But you were a fixture in Nonna’s house. You were one of the people I missed."
"Yeah, I guess everyone's heard how I missed you, so there's that."
He chuckled low. "You really think I didn't know?"
"Shit, I guess I wasn’t real subtle."
He nodded. “Pretty much. I mean you used to stare at me a lot. And admittedly, I caught you and Lucia practicing kissing on your hands once. You referred to your hand as Rafe. That was a pretty clear sign."
JJ covered her face with her hands. "Oh. My. God. That's almost worse than last night."
He grinned. "Yeah. Don't worry about it. I thought it was cute. Besides, have you seen me? I'm pretty hot."
She snorted. "I was 13. Cut me some slack."
His chuckle was low and deep. "I'll cut you some slack when you cut yourself some. It's no big deal, JJ." He cleared his throat "I—I do owe you an apology though."
She took another forkful of cake. "For what?"
"For never saying I'm sorry to you. Like I said, you were like family to me. My annoying-little-sister kind of family, but family nonetheless, and I never said I was sorry for the years of pain you went through as a result of my decision."
JJ forced herself to swallow the piece of cake around the sudden onset of sawdust in her mouth. "You don't owe me an apology. I made my decision about David on my own. That had nothing to do with you."