“Any time you’re ready, Jessica.” Mr. Gabriel called out.
She stepped to center stage and took one last sweeping glance across the theater before nodding to Karyn. As the music began, she prepared herself, both physically and emotionally. I’ve waited for this moment all of my life.
The first few words seemed to stick in the back of her throat, but by the time she reached the chorus, Jessica seemed to feel a little more secure. She looked down at the panel members, who rarely even glanced her way. Only Mr. Phillips looked up occasionally with a warm smile. As she started the second verse, Jessica found herself lost in the emotion of the familiar lyrics. She had specifically chosen this song because it impacted her on many levels, emotionally and spiritually. Her voice, strangely unfamiliar, seemed to leap and dance across the amazing auditorium. By the time the song ended, Jessica felt confident and bold. Almost daring.
“That was beautiful, Ms. Chapman.” Ms. Venton looked up over the bifocals to speak the words.
“Thank you for auditioning,” Mr. Gabriel added. “Results will be posted next Monday on the backstage door.”
She nodded and made her way to the piano to pick up her music. “You sounded great,” the pianist whispered. “Best I’ve heard all afternoon.”
“Thanks.” Jessica whispered her response as she headed for the stairs. Mr. Phillips met her there. For the first time, she noticed more than just his broad smile. He was young, probably late twenties or early thirties, at best. His eyes were lit with excitement, which he wasn’t doing a great job of hiding. He extended a hand to help her down the stairs.
“Great job,” he said, as she made her descent. “You have quite a range for a mezzo soprano.”
“Thanks.” Her hand trembled in his. “Do I exit out the back?” She gestured toward the rear of the auditorium.
“Yes.”
She made her way up the aisle with knees knocking all the way. The security guard met her in the lobby. “Done so soon?”
She nodded, suddenly feeling as if she might be sick.
“You don’t look so great. Should I call a cab or do you have a ride?”
“My fiancé’s in the restaurant across the street,” she said. “And I think I’ll be okay. Just nerves, I think.”
He walked with her to the front door and pulled it open. “Goodnight, Ms. Chapman. Maybe I’ll be seeing more of you after tonight.”
“I hope so.” She shook his extended hand then made her way across the veranda to the busy downtown street. It wasn’t until she found herself seated across from Nathan in the diner that she finally felt free to breathe a natural, comfortable breath.
“You okay?” He took a swig of coffee and glanced at the television overhead.
She nodded. “That was about the scariest thing I’ve ever done.”
“Did they make you eat a live chicken?” He glanced her way with a smile.
“Very funny. But speaking of chicken -” She grabbed a menu and scanned it quickly. “I’m starved. Seen a waitress lately?”
He motioned to get the waitress’s attention and Jessica quickly ordered a chicken club sandwich and fries. Then she leaned back against the seat and poured her heart out to Nathan. He gave her several encouraging hand squeezes and assured her of her ability.
Then, just as her food arrived, Jessica finally let herself think of something other than the audition. “I’ve been looking at wedding dresses in magazines,” she said, after swallowing down a couple of fries.
“Find anything yet?”
She shook her head. “It’s tougher than I thought. If I had a great figure, this would be so much easier.”
“You do have a great figure, Jess. Why are you always cutting yourself down?”
She shrugged and took a big bite of the sandwich. “I don’t know. Just insecure, I guess. Not fishing for compliments or anything, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“No need.” He reached to squeeze her hand. “You’re perfect just the way you are and I’ll always compliment you.”
“You’re sweet.” Jess took another bite of the sandwich and then settled back for a relaxing meal. Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by an oddly familiar voice.
“Ms. Chapman?”
Jess looked up to find Colin Phillips standing next to her. She very nearly choked on the sandwich. “Mr. Phillips? What happened? Is something wrong?”
“No, actually. I’m thrilled to find you here. I hope you don’t think I was following you. It’s just a coincidence, I assure you.”
“Okay.”
His face lit up. “Actually, I had already planned to phone you at home tomorrow, but this is certainly easier. Do you have a few minutes?”
“Sure.”
Colin pulled a chair up to the table and she quickly introduced Nathan, who then turned his attentions to the television for a stock market report.
“Ms. Chapman,” Colin began.
“Please. Call me Jessica.”
“Jessica. This is a little awkward, but I feel like I’m supposed to ask you a question.” He pressed his hands together in a tight grip.
Her heart now raced, though she tried to stay calm. “Go for it.”
“I’m from Dallas, he explained.
“Right.”
“Well, see – we’re starting a program in the Dallas area for children. Pre-teens, mostly, who are interested in the opera. I’m heading up the program. Technically, anyway. But I’m looking for someone who has experience with children to do much of the legwork. This has to be a vocalist, someone who can help train the kids and prepare them for our Christmas production, Amhal and the Night Visitors.”
Nathan cleared his throat a little too loudly and Jessica tried to gauge his thoughts. “There’s something I need to tell you Mr. Phillips,” she began.
“Please. Call me Colin.” The gentleman’s rich brown eyes gazed into hers.
“Colin.”
She took a deep breath, but he interrupted her before she had a chance to continue. “I forgot to mention that you would also be offered an internship with the Metropolitan Opera in Dallas, which would mean that you would be assured a place in the chorus of both our fall and spring productions. On top of directing the children, I mean.”
Her mouth flew open in surprise. “Really? Which operas?”
“Madame Butterfly in the fall,” Colin said. “November, to be precise. And in the spring we’ll be doing The Bartered Bride.”
“Wow. Two of my favorites.”
Nathan shifted in his seat, but Jessica didn’t pause for a moment. Her excited thoughts forged ahead. A place in the chorus. Assured. And working with children to help them develop their vocal gifts. What more could I ask for?
“Jess?”
Nathan’s voice brought her back to her senses. She gazed into his nervous eyes and knew immediately what her answer would have to be.
“I’m sorry to have to turn you down so quickly, Mr. Phillips,” she explained, “but we’re in the middle of planning our wedding. Nathan and I are getting married in May.”
“Ah. I see.” Colin paused. “Well, congratulations are in order, then.” He extended his hand in Nathan’s direction. Jessica couldn’t help but notice the look of pride in her fiancé’s eyes.
“I couldn’t possibly leave right now,” she continued. “I’m sure you understand.”
Colin turned toward her with a penetrating gaze. “Actually, what I’m suggesting would be a six-month internship. You’d be back in plenty of time for the big day. And you’d only be in Dallas, after all.”
Nathan cleared his throat again then shifted his gaze to the television.
“Your voice is unique, Jessica,” the handsome young director continued. “And untapped. I could tell from your resume that you had some amazing opportunities to perform in college, but what I’m talking about would give you the opportunity to train alongside some of the best voices in the country.”
“Well, I -” Lord, this is such a wonderful opportun
ity, but how could I possibly accept it?
Colin stood. “All I ask is that you think about it. I know this is all pretty sudden, but I’ve just got a strong feeling God is in the middle of all of this.”
“God?” She looked up at him to make sure she hadn’t misunderstood.
“Sorry. Forgot I was supposed to leave my faith out of this.” He shrugged. “I forget that a lot actually.” He smiled and handed her a business card with his name and address and phone number.
“It’s okay. I appreciate your honesty. I’m a believer, myself.” Jessica extended her hand and he shook it firmly.
“Great.”
She pulled her hand from his after another penetrating look from Nathan. “Thanks for the offer, Mr. Phillips,” she said. “But right now I think I’d better wait and see what my options are here in Houston. I did just audition for a place in Rigoletto, after all.”
“I know. And one of the better voices we heard all day, I should add.”
Wow. “Thank you.”
“I do feel like a bit of a traitor stealing you from them, but something in my gut just tells me -” Nathan turned an accusing glance his direction. “Well, I’ve kept you too long. Thanks so much for your time.” He left the restaurant in a rush and Jessica turned her attentions back to her fiancé.
“Can you believe the nerve of that guy?” Nathan grumbled.
She wrinkled her nose as she contemplated his words. “I thought he was nice.”
“You’re not actually thinking of going, are you?”
“Of course not.” She reached to grip his hand. “How could I? It’s not just the wedding standing in my way -”
“Standing in your way?” A flash of resentment clouded his eyes.
“You know what I mean,” she explained. “I’ve got my job at the church. The kids are counting on me.”
“Right.”
“And who knows. I might be offered a part in Rigoletto. That would be amazing.”
He nodded. “That’s my girl. Always hopeful.”
She nodded and tried to turn her thoughts to her audition, but they gravitated once again. Dallas. Amahl and the Night Visitors. A place in the chorus of Madame Butterfly in November.
“So,” Nathan interrupted her thoughts once again. “Tell me about this wedding dress you’re searching for.”
She looked up into his smiling eyes.
three
Jessica made her way across the driveway to the mailbox at the curb’s edge. She knew she must open it, though she dreaded the news it probably held. Sure enough, the large black box contained the much anticipated letter from the Houston Grand Opera Society.
She held the sealed envelope in her trembling hand and fumbled with the flap, attempting to loosen it. “Come on. Open up.” Then again, why bother? Jessica knew what it would say, even before reading it.
“We are sorry to inform you…” The rest would go on to say that, while they appreciated her talent and effort, they simply didn’t have enough space to give everyone a position in Rigoletto. Then they would welcome her to audition again in the future.
These things Jessica knew because she had already seen the list at the Wortham Theater two days ago. Her name had not been on it. She had swallowed both her pride and her disappointment, and had given Nathan the news. He had shrugged it off in his usual good-natured way, assuring her of his love, regardless. In fact, he had looked strangely relieved.
But now she must face the letter in her hand. Somehow just reading the news in print would make it seem more real, more awful. Jessica ripped the envelope open and scanned the typed words. Just as she expected. A rejection. She brushed back a tear as she read the words, “You have a lovely voice and this decision is in no way a reflection of your talent or ability.” She shook her head in defeat and wadded up the letter into a tight ball.
“Honey, is everything okay?” Her mother appeared at the curbside. Jess quickly brushed away a tear as she looked up with a numb smile. “I guess.” She gripped the paper ball a little tighter.
“Your letter from the Opera?”
“Uh huh. But at least I knew ahead of time.” She sighed deeply. “It’s no big surprise.”
“I know.” Her mother’s brow wrinkled in concern. “But I’m really sorry, Honey. You’ve got such a beautiful voice and I know the Lord is going to use you to minister to others with that gift. I guess this just wasn’t the right time.”
“Or the right place.” Jessica fought to swallow the ever-growing lump in her throat.
“There will be plenty of operas in your future,” Her mother placed an arm around her shoulder. “And in the meantime, you’ve got a lot of work to do with the children’s choir at church, right?”
“Right.” But that didn’t lessen the pain of rejection she felt in this moment.
Her mother patted her on the back. “The kids need you, Honey. And so does Mrs. Witherspoon. She wouldn’t know what to do if she lost you.”
Jessica didn’t know how to respond. The elderly Mrs. Witherspoon had a knack for dealing with the children. In fact, she could take charge of the whole thing in a heartbeat, if need be. But right now Jessica needed to be needed.
Somewhere.
She reached to close the mailbox and looked up into her mother’s kind eyes. “Do you think maybe God is trying to tell me something?”
“What do you mean?” Her mother looked concerned.
“Well, I know I’m supposed to be singing classical music,” Jessica explained. “That’s what I’ve trained for. But there’s not much opportunity at church for that sort of style. So the opera has always been my goal.”
“Right.”
“I’m just wondering -” she paused.
“About the position in Dallas?” Her mother seemed to read her thoughts.
“Uh huh.” Relief washed over Jessica. “I mean, doesn’t it just sound like God had the whole thing set up in advance?”
“It would be a marvelous opportunity.” Her mother walked alongside her as they approached the house. “But whether or not it’s in the Lord’s plan is another thing. Just because something is easy doesn’t always mean it’s from the Lord.”
“I guess.” Jessica heaved a sigh. “But how will I know unless I try it?”
Her mother stopped and looked her in the eye. “You’re actually thinking of going to Dallas in the middle of planning a wedding?” She gave her a curious look.
“I don’t know, Mom. I’m just thinking out loud.”
“Does Nathan know you’re considering this?”
“No.” She pulled the front door opened and stepped inside. “I’m afraid to talk to him about it at all, to be honest. He’s so busy with his new classes and seems a little distracted. But it’s such a great thing they’re doing up there.” She paused then looked at her mother for a bit of encouragement.
“Well, pray about it, Honey. God will show you what to do.”
Jessica’s shoulders slumped as she crossed the house to her bedroom. She tossed the letter in the trashcan right away, determined to put the whole thing behind her. Then she reached into her bedside drawer and pulled out another letter – one she had received just yesterday, in fact.
A letter from Mr. Phillips. A ‘just in case’ move on his part, or so it had said. In his carefully crafted note, he had formulated a plan for the internship, offering Jessica a ‘creative interactive and educational environment in order to promote and develop an appreciation of opera as an art form; to provide educational opportunities for all ages and cultures, and therefore, to supply the opportunity for life-long learning.’ He described the youth apprentice artist program in a way that had intrigued and excited her.
“Twenty exceptional artists will be selected by vocal audition from applicants from the Dallas Metroplex. Each young artist selected will be given many of the skills necessary for a professional career. The program director will assist each child by providing personal attention and instruction, and significant performing opportunities.
These artists work with a team of highly experienced professionals and will receive coaching in standard operatic repertory. They will also be offered multiple performance opportunities.”
Jess stretched out across her bed with the letter in her hand. “It almost sounds too good to be true.” But how could she balance this against her wedding plans? Would Nathan think she had lost her mind?”
Her thoughts gravitated to her fiancé. He was so sweet, and such a good guy. She had always appreciated and loved his understanding heart. While he clearly didn’t share her love for the opera, he had never discouraged her from following her dreams. Perhaps he would begin to see this possibility as a part of God’s plan for her life, her future.
“Only one way to know for sure.” She picked up the telephone and dialed his cell number. He didn’t answer until the fourth ring. When he did, his voiced sounded hushed, strained.
“Hello?”
“Nathan, is that you?”
“I’m in the middle of class right now,” he whispered. “I forgot to turn off my phone. Everyone’s looking at me.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. Call me later.” She quickly hung up and shook her head in despair. “Great.”
A tap on the door interrupted her thoughts. “Come in.”
Her mother entered. “I just wanted to let you know that Andrew and I hoped to take you and Nathan to dinner tonight. We were thinking of that new seafood place up in The Woodlands. Sound good?”
“Very.” Her mouth began to water, just thinking about it. “But I’ll have to get back to you about Nathan. He’s in class right now.”
“Okay, honey. We just thought it would be a good time to discuss plans for the wedding – get a few things down on paper.”
“Sounds good.”
Her mother left the room, and Jessica rolled back over the bed. Within minutes she fell into a deep sleep. She dreamed of Amahl and the Night Visitors – the hauntingly beautiful Christmas story. It seemed strangely twisted into the plot of Madame Butterfly, which made for a colorful, yet confusing, dream. She played the role of the beautiful young Japanese woman in love, betrayed by the man who had captured her heart. Just as she stepped to center stage to sing her big solo, Jessica heard the sound of a familiar voice.
Texas Weddings (Books One and Two) Page 17