“Oh, I have a wonderful idea!” Jessica’s eyes lit up. “Nathan will be here in a couple of weeks to see Madame Butterfly. We should all get together and double-date. It would be a great way to ease him into my world here. And. . .” her eyes grew large with excitement, “to make it even more fun, I should ask my brother and Kellie to come along too. That way everyone would have a partner. What do you think?”
Colin wasn’t sure what to think. Somehow, the idea of going out with Katie seemed a little less appealing, now that he had voiced it aloud.
“You’ll never know unless you ask her!” Jessica gave him a playful punch in the arm.
He rubbed the spot and gave a thoughtful response. “I guess you’re right. I’ll never know unless I ask her.”
***
On Saturday morning, Jessica made the familiar drive to Houston. The crisp November day provided an array of colorful distractions as she headed south on Interstate 45. The pine trees on either side of the freeway were usually green and full. Today, they seemed browner, less dense. On some level, they served to remind her that this season of her life would pass far too quickly. All too soon, her time in Dallas would be over.
“I need to stop feeling sorry for myself,” she said aloud to the empty car. “I need to be grateful for the time I do have.” Jessica chided herself for feeling blue and re-affirmed her commitment to approach everything in her life with both joy and balance.
About the time she passed the midway point in her journey, Jessica’s cell phone rang and she fumbled around inside her purse with one hand to retrieve it. Looking down at the Caller ID, she had to smile. She answered the phone with great enthusiasm. “Grandma, is that you?”
“It’s me. Just wondering if you’re going to be on time. I’m anxious to get rolling.”
Jessica glanced at the clock. Ten twenty-six a.m. “I should be pulling into the Houston area a little after noon. Want to meet me for some pizza before we go shopping?”
“You know pizza’s my favorite. And your Grandpa Buck never lets me eat it. He thinks it’s for kids.”
“Kids like me.” Jess laughed.
“And me, too. So, what’s on the agenda for today?” her grandmother asked. “Still looking at wedding dresses?”
“Mm-hmm. And flowers. Today I just want to get some ideas. Maybe I’ll place an order next time. Right now, I don’t even know what I’m looking for.
“Good thing I know my flowers, right?”
“Right.” Jessica couldn’t help but smile. “I know Mom wanted to go with me, but she and Andrew are at some sort of seminar.”
“It’s that ‘Song of Solomon’ romance thing up at the church,” her grandmother said with a giggle. “I wanted to go, myself, but Buck wouldn’t hear of it. He figured people would think we had a troubled marriage.”
Jessica laughed. “Anyone who knows you know would know better. I envy your romance with Buck.”
“Thanks, Honey,” her grandmother said, “but still - I think it would have been fun, and you know, it wouldn’t hurt you and Nathan to sign up for something like that before you tie the knot, either.”
“I know.” Jessica calculated her response. She and Nathan could certainly use some help in the romance department. Bickering seemed to be their primary form of communication these days. “But right now I guess I’d better focus on the big day.”
“No point in having a big day without a big life to follow it. And a big life needs a little rehearsal, just like one of your shows.”
“I know, I know,” Jessica groaned.
“Speaking of your shows, how are rehearsals coming?”
“Great. I can hardly wait for next weekend.” Jessica dove into a lengthy discussion about Madame Butterfly, thankful for the reprieve from the focus on her love life.
When she finished giving her grandmother the colorful details of all that been happening in Dallas, the elderly woman responded, “Sounds like you’re having the time of your life.”
“I am. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.”
“That’s my girl.”
“So,” Jessica looked at the clock and realized with some surprise that she had been talking nearly half an hour. “Where would you like to meet for lunch, again?”
“Pizza. That all-you-can-eat place in The Woodlands suits me just fine. Just don’t tell my hips, okay?”
“I promise.”
“Or your Grandpa Buck.”
Jessica laughed. “No problem.” She hung up the phone with a grin on her face. More than an ally and close friend, her grandmother had proven to be a source of comfort over the past few weeks, sending countless emails and offering encouragement with words of humor and wisdom. Thank You Lord, for sending her to me.
As she continued the drive, Jessica thought about all she must accomplish in the next thirty-six hours. I’ve got to find a dress, visit with my family, see Nathan…” She struggled with the emotions that followed the thought of her fiancé. Something just feels wrong. Off. Were those his words or her own? Why did nothing these days seem to feel like it should? Probably just pre-wedding jitters. I’m nervous about getting married. That’s pretty common.
As was so often the case, Jessica’s thoughts shifted to the goings-on in Dallas. She enjoyed her new life more than she had dared dream. And, at the center of it all, stood a friend who towered above her, not just vocally, but spiritually, as well.
Colin Phillips. Strange, the mixture of emotions that flooded Jessica when she thought about him. She would never have known to feel guilty about her budding friendship with Colin if Nathan hadn’t brought him up time and time again. “He likes more than your voice.”
Lord, I’m sure that’s not true, she prayed. But if this friendship is outside Your Will, please show me. Then help me figure out a way to avoid Colin. I don’t want anything – or anyone - to stop me from Your plan for my life.
Still, she didn’t have a peace about staying away from the tall, dark-haired songster, either. Colin, perhaps more than anyone else, seemed to understand where she was coming from – not just musically, but emotionally and spiritually, as well.
One day Nathan will understand me like that. In time. When we’re married…
Jessica couldn’t seem to complete her thought. Something about all of this just felt very, very wrong.
fourteen
Colin glanced across the stage at Katie. His palms, damp with sweat, trembled as he approached her. Easy man. You’re making this harder than it is. As he drew near, he couldn’t help but smell the intoxicating aroma of her perfume. “Katie.” Why do I sound so insecure?
She turned to face him and immediately broke into a broad smile. “Colin. What’s up?”
“I, uh, I just wanted to talk to you.”
“Really? What about?”
“I, um…”
“Colin, are you ready?” Eugene Snyder called out to him from the front row of the auditorium. “We’re already running late.”
Colin glanced at his watch. Seven-forty.
“What is it?” Katie whispered. Her beautiful blue eyes sparkled with excitement.
“Can you stay after a few minutes?” he whispered back. “I need to talk to you.”
She nodded with an impish grin and Colin’s heart began to beat double-time. What in the world is wrong with me? I feel like I’m in high school again.
He took his place in the center of the stage, and tried to prepare himself for the rehearsal. Things started well, but over the course of the next hour and a half, calamity struck several times. He seemed to be off tonight. Way off. His voice cracked and wavered and his pitch stayed more than a little low.
Eugene Snyder brought the orchestra to a screeching halt. “Colin!”
“Yes?”
“You’re flat,” the frustrated director called out from across the auditorium.
“I know.” Colin groaned. “I’m working on it.”
“Well, work harder. We’re down to the wire here. In less than a week you’ll be standing i
n front of thousands of patrons who have spent their hard-earned money to hear you sing.”
“I know. I know.” Colin vowed to do a better job, but, for some reason, couldn’t seem to get control of his breathing tonight. The orchestra started once again, but things only seemed to get worse. He tried to focus, tried to stay on top of things, but his mind seemed to be playing tricks on him tonight. At one point, just as he reached a high note, he tripped across a loose cable and nearly lost his balance. If Katie hadn’t grabbed his arm, he would surely have hit the floor. Out of the corner of his eye, Colin caught a glimpse of Jessica. Her face, etched with concern, held him captive.
All the while, Colin argued with himself. What in the world are you doing? What is your problem? Are you really hung up on Katie, or are you just kidding yourself? As the rehearsal drew to a close, he found himself losing his initial courage. Don’t ask her. Don’t do it. If she says yes, you’ll get caught up in something you’re not ready for.
On the other hand…
On the other hand, could this fear be the very thing to keep him from the relationship God had planned for him all along?
There’s no way to know if I don’t work up the courage to ask her.
After the rehearsal, Katie approached him. “I’m sorry you had such a hard time tonight, Colin.” Her lips curved downward in an exaggerated pout. “Old man Synder can be downright cruel sometimes.”
“No, he was right on target. I’m the one who was off.”
“You sounded great.” Katie shrugged. “I don’t know what his problem is. He has no patience.”
“Trust me, he was more than patient tonight,” Colin said.
“Anyway,” she grabbed his arm. “You said you wanted to talk to me. What’s up?”
From across the stage, Colin sought out Jessica’s face. Why do I care if she’s watching? What difference should that make? She gave him an encouraging wink and a thumbs-up. He immediately felt every ounce of courage drain out of him. I can’t do this. He turned to face Katie.
“Yes?”
“I was wondering if you had an extra copy of the opening number from Act Two. I’ve lost mine.” That’s true, anyway.
Katie’s smile immediately faded. “You need a copy of my music?”
“Yeah. If you don’t mind.” You’re such a coward, Man.
“I think I have one.” Her face lit up once again. “It’s at my place. Would you like to follow me back there? We could fix some coffee and run over the music if you like.”
Now what are you going to say? “I, um… I’m too tired, to be honest. Could you just bring it tomorrow night instead?”
“Sure. I guess.” Her eyes seemed to lose a little of their sparkle.
“Thanks for being such a great friend.” He reached to grip her hand and she squeezed his in response.
“See you tomorrow night, music in hand.” Katie gave him a girlish wave as she left the stage.
Colin’s shoulders sagged in defeat.
“So…?” He turned at the sound of Jessica’s cheery voice. “Did you ask her?”
“I didn’t.” His gaze traveled to the floor, where he carefully examined the tops of his shoes.
“Why not?” Jessica crossed her arms, a clear sign of her disappointment.
“I don’t know.” Colin groaned. “I just couldn’t seem to do it. Maybe it was just something about tonight. Everything about me seems to be a little…”
“Off?” She chuckled.
“You noticed?”
“Yeah, but don’t let it get you down. We all have off nights, trust me. In fact, that’s been my word of the week.”
***
“I’m exhausted.” Jessica spoke though a yawn as she drove Katie home from the rehearsal. “What about you?”
“I’m too excited to be tired,” her friend said. “I think Colin’s starting to soften up. I hope so, anyway.”
“He’s such a great guy, Katie. You two would make a perfect couple.”
“I agree. But I don’t know if I can wait forever. Is he ever going to make his move?”
Jessica pulled onto the Interstate as the conversation continued. “I think he’s just a little shy. Around girls, anyway. But you should see him with the kids. He’s very outgoing with them.”
“And with you.”
Jessica couldn’t help but notice a bit of animosity in Katie’s voice. “What do you mean?” she asked.
“He’s obviously very comfortable around you,” Katie said with a shrug. “You two are always laughing and talking together.”
Is she jealous? “You know how guys are.” Jessica spoke in her most reassuring voice. “They always feel comfortable talking with girls they’re not attracted to. That’s why he’s less nervous around me. I’m more like a buddy. A pal. When he’s with you -” Silence permeated the vehicle for a moment as Jessica fought to complete the sentence. “When he’s with you, he’s probably a nervous wreck trying to figure out what to say, how to say it. You know.”
“I hope.”
“I hope, too.”
Jessica gripped the steering wheel with both hands and tried to conquer the doubt that suddenly gripped her. For some inexplicable reason, she felt a little uncomfortable around Katie tonight. All this time I’ve been thinking about how good Colin would be for her, but I’ve never once thought about whether or not she would be good for him. Jessica fought to push the nagging doubts from her mind as she focused on the road ahead.
fifteen
When the curtain pulled back on the night of the first Madame Butterfly performance, Jessica could hardly contain her emotions. Even from her current position far upstage right, she could hear the whisper of voices and the creaking of chairs as patrons stirred in their seats. They’re anxious. So am I. She couldn’t make out any faces from here, especially not with the blinding lights in her eyes, but somewhere – out there – sat her family. And Nathan. He’ll be so proud.
She attempted to press down the lump in her throat, but it wouldn’t budge. When it came time to sing, Jessica tried to distract herself. Her hands trembled and for a moment she felt as if she might be sick. Finally her nerves steadied themselves and she released herself to enjoy the experience. Lord, this is so amazing. Thank You so much. From the stage, looking out, the whole thing felt more like a dream than reality.
Jessica sang with full release – from the depths of her soul. When she exited the stage for her first costume change, she paused long enough at the backstage entrance to listen to Colin as he completed his first solo. He’s really on tonight. I’m so glad. The crowd erupted with applause as he hit the final note of the song, and she found herself applauding along with them.
Then Katie’s solo began. Jessica stood in awe. The young woman lit the stage with her incredible vocal presence. Jessica looked back and forth between Colin and Katie with a feeling of satisfaction. All of her doubts from the other night seemed to vanish. They’re going to make quite a couple. In every conceivable way.
“Move please.” A stage tech tapped her on the shoulder and she suddenly remembered where she was – where she was supposed to be. Jessica quickly scurried back to the changing room and slipped into costume number two.
By the time intermission came, she felt like a pro. Jessica chattered backstage with others in the chorus as she awaited her next entrance. Somehow, the wait felt like an eternity.
As she entered the stage once again, Jessica the lights and the swell of the orchestra pulled her into their spell. Father, I’ve waited for this moment all my life. This is my passion. This is what you created me to do. She opened her mouth and began to sing with the others. The joy that enraptured her seemed to take root in her soul, and Jessica knew she would never be the same again.
At one point during the second act, she caught Colin’s attention to give him an encouraging nod. He winked at her and an immeasurable joy gripped her heart. He’s the reason I’m here. He knew. He knew I had to come. Somehow the realization overwhelmed her. To think, th
e Lord had gone to such trouble to bring her to Dallas. What if she hadn’t listened? What if she had missed all of this?
Jessica never found time to contemplate the matter. The performance came to an end all too quickly. She pressed back tears of relief and excitement as she took her bow alongside others in the cast. When Colin approached center stage, the audience roared. Most of them stood. Jessica didn’t blame them, and, in fact, clapped until her hands ached.
When the curtain closed, she exited the stage in the stampede of excited vocalists. For a moment, she almost forgot about meeting her family in the foyer – almost forgot the hastily planned dinner at a nearby restaurant.
For now, all she could think about – all that mattered – was the music. Katie approached from her right, and Jessica embraced her tightly. “You were absolutely without a doubt the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Quite a compliment coming from one of the best voices in the company.”
“I mean it, Katie. You were awesome tonight.”
“And didn’t you think Colin just brought the house down?” Katie squeezed her hands impulsively.
“He was great. I’m totally impressed.”
“I just wish he was as brave off the stage as he is on.” Katie sighed and reached to pull off a piece of her costume jewelry.
“He hasn’t asked you out yet?”
“Nope. Still waiting.” Katie turned to visit with her parents, who had just arrived backstage. The elderly couple offered their congratulations boisterously, clearly proud of their daughter.
Jessica leaned against the back wall, suddenly drained of all strength.
“Jess?” She turned as she heard Colin’s resonant voice. Was it everything you hoped it would be?”
“Oh, Colin. It was… It was…”
Tears flowed but she didn’t even try to stop them. Jessica reached up to embrace him, then pulled away, embarrassed.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, his own eyes moist, as well. “I’m feeling it too.”
“You were just wonderful,” Jess reached to take his hand. “I’ve never heard anything like it.”
Texas Weddings (Books One and Two) Page 25